


Boon of the Ashen Demon

by risokura



Series: Boon of the Ashen Demon [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Demon Deals, Demons Are Real Edelgard, Don’t Play With Ouija Boards Kids, F/F, Occult, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Supernatural Elements, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 132,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risokura/pseuds/risokura
Summary: Most people in life had what they would call a guardian angel looking after them. Not Edelgard. She had Byleth, one of the Kings of Hell. AU. Edelgard/Byleth.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Boon of the Ashen Demon [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905361
Comments: 243
Kudos: 852





	1. A Baby I Call Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This will be fun.

Byleth was _bored_.

Ever since Lucifer had lost that bet with God, _(good one, Luc_ ), regarding his latest plague—beer virus or some nonsense—upon the human race, work in Hell has dried up exponentially.

Known for her mathematical prowess, she had been relegated to ...book keeping duties. Book keeping? Byleth was one of the kings of _Hell_. She didn’t care how well she knew integers or Underworld tax laws, this was ridiculous. Apparently a big audit was headed their way. Someone would have to take the fall if shit wasn’t in order.

She passed the grunt work off to her many minions and decided to spend her time in a more productive manner. Causing the occasional bout of what those stupid humans referred to as sleep paralysis— _hello_ , demons do exist—that left some poor hapless fool staring at her in sheer terror in the darkness of their rooms at night. She loved it when she happened upon a pair of lovers, making it seem as if she was going to take advantage of the other sleeping partner as their beloved watched on in horror.

Traumatizing children was boring. She would usually just get by with staring at them with all night from the depths of their closets—the glowing eyes thing was a cool party trick. Screams of _mommy_ and _daddy_ always came long after she was gone.

She couldn’t remember how many teenage girls fantasies she destroyed. Constant questions of— _will he ever like me?—_ directed at their Magic 8 balls. A swipe of a finger and the little square always floated over to _no_. The tears of unrequited young love, how delicious. And yet... it still wasn’t enough. She needed something else.

Byleth had been sitting on her throne, picking through a tablet of recent arrivals to Hell, and checking off names and their offenses. She chuckled when a particularly foul soul popped up on the tablet. _D. Trump?_ Damn, this guy had a particularly long rap sheet. What in the world had _he_ done?

She presses a balled fist up to her cheek as her eyes search through words like _collusion, gross negligence of human life,_ and _bad hair._ This guy was _evil,_ too bad she couldn’t recruit him for her own cause. Byleth swipes right and he goes straight into the Ninth level. Oh well, perhaps Lucifer could enjoy him instead.

Satisfied with her treachery for the day, she sets the tablet down and reclines on the throne. One of her minions comes in to ask her about tax codes and she rolls her eyes. Why was it so hard to find mathematically inclined demons in Hell? He scampers off, bowing and apologizing for his stupidity. Please don’t kill me, your most Horribleness. Byleth was feeling generous today, she had already speared down five of her demons today. Her quota had been reached for now.

Byleth reclines back in the throne and glances at the tablet, about to get to work, when she hears ... whispers of her name from ... _above._ She sets the tablet down and rises from the throne, a glorious and demonic smile unfurling on her deceptively innocent face. _I wish to invoke the will of Beleth_ _._ Oh, _baby_. Something to quench the dry thirst of her boredom.

 _Someone_ was summoning her.

—

Dorothea is moving the planchette, Edelgard swears she is.

The other girl sitting across from her has her eyes closed as she’s muttering something under her breath. Bernadetta is shaking to Edelgard’s left, and Petra looks bored in front of her. This is _stupid_. Why did she ever agree to this?

They were having a girl’s night at Edelgard’s after a day of wandering about the city in their down time from school. They had wandered into some little shop with loud rock music, spikes and chains. That’s where Dorothea found the Ouija board and turned to Edelgard with a somewhat devious look on her face. _Eddy, we should try it out._ Edelgard was always a skeptic. Ouija board? Ghosts? Witches? _Demons_? None of that fairytale nonsense existed anyway. Edelgard had sighed. Whatever. Let Dorothea have her fun. They didn’t have free time like this often, better to indulge while they can.

A trip to the local occult bookstore had landed them with a book on demonology, another on tarot, and something else regarding herbs. Overhearing Dorothea’s excitement about summoning _something_ , the shopkeeper told them to _be careful_. There were things out there that they had no business messing with, lest they were ready to take on the consequences. Edelgard, laughing and patronizing in tone, told her that she was _sure_ there were.

Petra and Bernadetta had met up with them for lunch when Dorothea had launched into this whole tirade about her new purchase. Bernadetta, poor, chronically disturbed Bernadetta, had shaken her head vehemently and told Dorothea that messing with the dark arts was a _terrible_ idea. Petra, being foreign and confused, just shrugged. What was wrong in experiencing a strange new custom in this foreign land she had come to call her home for the last year? Edelgard, a nonbeliever of many things, rolled her eyes and said they could go experiment with Dorothea’s childish game at her place. Her roommate was gone for the night. She already lived with a demon, what did she care about summoning another one?

They dimmed the lights, lit votive candles in the living room, and sat around in a circle. The Ouija board in the center on Edelgard’s coffee table. Dorothea leafed through the pamphlet the board had come with and asked the girl’s if they should just go _big_ and try to summon Satan himself. She always said if she could sell her soul to the Devil to get on with her purported singing career and become famous, she wouldn’t hesitate to sign that line in blood.

Bernadetta is still shaking and whines to the group that they _shouldn’t_ be doing this. Dorothea tells her to calm down and the girl’s all put their hands on the planchette and start the ceremony. Petra takes a sip of her wine cooler with a free hand and doesn’t understand half of what’s going on, but thinks that this should be _fun_. Edelgard just wants to get this stupid mess over with.

Dorothea flips through the book on demonology and settles on the demon _Beleth._ Something about ‘music following before him’ and the picture of a cat with some type of horn is enough to persuade her. How _cute,_ a little cat demon.

“What should we ask it?” Dorothea asks, looking at the faces of the other girls in the glow of the candles that surround them.

Petra is the first to suggest something, “Will the rain come on the morrow?”

“Uhm… no.” Dorothea shakes her head; “You can check your phone for that. Bernadetta, you got something?”

Bernadetta makes a pitiful squeak, “N…no.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes and pushes her finger down on the planchette, “Ask it it if it’s going to kill me.”

“Damn, Eddy, going dark really fast. Let’s try something else.” Dorothea readjusts herself and closes her eyes, “Beleth, if you can hear us… please answer our question, oh … oh … demony one. If you could have sex with any of us here, which of us would you chose?”

Edelgard rolls her eyes and closes them, placing both of her hands on the planchette. “Oh, like that’s any better.”

They wait a minute and … the planchette stays still. Silence.

Petra opens one eye. “It did not move.”

“Of course it didn’t.” Edelgard says, her eyes still closed, “That question was disgusting Dorothea. You want to have sex with a cat?”

“Hey, demons are freaks. You never know what kind of big cat—“ Dorothea is unable to finish her line of reasoning because Edelgard cuts her off.

Edelgard opens her eyes, clearly disgusted. “Please. Gain some sense of decorum, would you?”

Bernadetta, who has probably already started disassociating, startles when she feels her hand starts moving. That was a _B_ … “Guys…”

Dorothea turns back to Edelgard, oblivious to what’s happening, “Oh, lighten up would you?”

“Me? I wasn’t the one who decided that this is how we should spend our Friday night.” Edelgard doesn’t realize the planchette is still moving to _e_ … then an _r_ …

Petra blinks. One of them must be moving this. That was a _n_ … _a_ … _Berna_ … She looks up at Edelgard and Dorothea who are too engrossed in their arguing and chances an interruption, “It is moving....” They ignore her.

Bernadetta shrieks and pulls her shirt up to cover her face, “I…I-It spel … speeelll…”

Perta watches the planchette stall for a minute. This foreign game was _fascinating._ “It’s spelling your name.”

“Guys!” Bernadetta shouts, finally breaking Edelgard and Dorothea out of their bickering, “ _GUYS_. It … it isn’t … fu …funny. Stop it!”

Dorothea looks at Bernadetta who seems to be two seconds from having a stroke and convulsing on the floor, “What? _What_? What do you mean?” She looks down at the planchette and realizes it’s stopped on a _d_. Had it always been there? “All right, which one of you three moved it?”

Edelgard scoffs, “You obviously did to prove a point.”

Dorothea rolls her eyes, “Did not.”

Bernadetta whines, trying to fight back tears, “I don’t want to have sex with a cat!”

Dorothea lifts a hand to wave it at Bernadetta to try and calm the hysterical girl down. “Bernadetta, calm down. Someone was obviously moving it. You’re not going to fuck a demon cat, jeez.” She turns to Edelgard, “Since _you_ have so many brilliant ideas, why don’t you ask your question from before?

“What? If it’s going to kill me?” Edelgard asks, completely up for Dorothea’s foolish challenge, “Fine. I _will_.”

The girls all close their eyes again and reassume position. Dorothea has to force Bernadetta’s hands down and tells her if she doesn’t calm down, she’s going to put masking tape over her mouth. Edelgard inhales deeply and asks the Ouija board. _Will you kill me?_

Silence. Waiting. The fire flickers in one of the candles on the table.

“This demon sure likes taking its time.” Dorothea mutters, eyes still closed.

“Please. Be _quiet_.” Edelgard chides.

More waiting. The planchette finally moves. Bernadetta makes a pained noise. Edelgard opens her eyes to see what’s going on. _No_. She looks up at Dorothea and then to Petra. She takes her hands off the planchette and frowns. What a fearsome demon this was.

“Who moved it this time?” She asks, folding her arms.

Dorothea shakes her head, “I didn’t, I swear.”

Petra nodded, “Moved alone it was doing.”

Bernadetta takes her hands off the planchette, “I … I don’t want to do th…this anymore.”

Petra removes her hands as well, “This is a strange dame … game, indeed. I do not understand. Moving along and guessing who it is are we not supposed to do?”

Dorothea wants to slap her face, “ _No_ , Petra. Have you been moving it this entire time?”

Petra shakes her head, “It has done so itself.”

Edelgard has had enough of this ridiculous thing. All of the girls have removed their hand from the piece of wood that is still hovering over the word _no_. She will _prove_ to them how fake this is, once and for all. “I’m going to ask another question. No one put your hands on the stupid piece of wood. If it’s real, it can move the damn thing itself.”

“What a _challenge,_ Eddy.”

“Edelgard, _don’t.”_ Bernadetta pleads.

To prove how stupid this all is, Edelgard goes into the kitchen and retrieves a sharp kitchen knife. She sits down and looks at each girl, straight in the eye. They’re all being ridiculous.

Pressing the knife to the unmarred skin of her palm, she winces and makes a tiny slit. She’ll _prove_ to them that ghosts and demons and whatever the hell else that humans speak of to scare themselves at night, _don’t exist_. Her blood splatters onto the Ouija board after muttering out loud— _I wish to invoke the will of Beleth._ A blood offering, how cliché. Bernadetta screams and covers her eyes. She’s going to damn herself to a life of misfortune.

Edelgard tries to recall those horrendous occult themed horror films that she used to watch when she was younger. What did they do? Offer something up in exchange for something else? Well, here it is. Her blood is drying on the board. “Beleth, King of Hell, will you enter into a blood contract with me? Grant me any boon that I desire?”

One of the candles on the table flickers and goes out. Bernadetta screams and Dorothea starts laughing, “I think it’s working.” Dorothea confirms as she looks around the darkening room, “I think you’ve made friends with the cute little demon cat guy. Beleth! We’re waiting for your arrival and come be Eddy’s servant! Where’s the music—…” Her face stills as if she’s seen something horrible and then …silence.

“C—cute?” Bernadetta stutters. Since when are demons _cute_? “Do… Dorothea…? Are… you okay?”

Petra raises her eyebrows, “Is she deaf?”

Another candle flickers out and startles Petra. Edelgard dismisses it as the breeze being carried in from the window that’s open behind them. Dorothea slowly picks her head up and looks from Bernadetta, Petra, and then finally lands on Edelgard.

“… _Edelgard_.” Her voice is low and guttural. Her eyes half lidded, “ _Edelgard von Hresvelg. Thou who have offered up thine blood in search of my services._ ”

Bernadetta latches onto Petra who’s tipped her half empty wine cooler to her lips, “A good actress she is, no?”

Edelgard rolls her eyes; “I see your acting skills are coming in handy for once, Dorothea.”

The smile that comes across Dorothea’s face is carnal and wide, “ _Know that it shall be_ so.” Dorothea winds her head around, loosening the cricks in her neck and licks her lips, eyes dead set on Edelgard, “ _It shall. Be **so**_ **.** ”

Dorothea’s head goes limp and her chin bows into her chest. The last two candles on the table flicker out and Bernadetta screams again as the room descended into darkness. Edelgard sighs as she goes in search of the lighter they had used before. She leaves behind Petra who’s trying to hush Bernadetta up and finds the lighter in the kitchen. On her way back into the living room, she misses the reflection staring at her in the hallway mirror. 

She settles back down at the table, using her cell phone as a flashlight and lights the candles. Dorothea is still hanging limply at her side, perhaps waiting for applause for her demon impersonation. Edelgard slaps her arm as the candles are relit, “Okay, wake up, drama queen.

Dorothea startles to with an almost inhuman jerk and slowly raises her head; eyes wide and turns her head in Edelgard’s direction. She looks around confused when she sees Edelgard’s perturbed face, Petra’s wonderment, and Bernadetta hiding her face in the sleeve of Petra’s shirt, “What are you all staring at?”

“Your performance was wonderful, Dorothea.” Edelgard mutters, “Great cat demon impersonation.”

“Yes, it was to my liking as well.” Petra gestures.

Bernadetta shakes her head, “That … was _real_.”

Dorothea blinks, confused, “…Performance?”

“Yes, Dorothea. You have kept us all entertained for quite some time tonight. But, enough is enough.” Edelgard says as she leans forward to remove the board from the coffee table and chucks it to the floor, “I tire of this stupid game. Let’s do something else.”

Dorothea blinks, rubbing her head. Did something happen? She doesn’t remember? Before anyone can suggest anything else, the front door slams open, illuminating the darkened house in the light from the hallway outside. Bernadetta screams and even Petra startles.

“A _DEMON!!”_

Oh, no. It’s just Hubert. Well, he _was_ another type of demon.

He enters the apartment and looks at the girls sitting in the dark, surrounded by candles on the coffee table. Edelgard is staring back at him, Dorothea is rubbing her head like she can’t remember how she got where she currently is, Petra has been knocked over by Bernadetta who is _shaking_ in a ball under the coffee table. He won’t even _ask_.

Edelgard reclines back and winces as Hubert flicks the lights on, “What are you doing back so early?”

“I live here, too, don’t I?” He remarks, “Carry on with your frivolous women activities of makeovers and hair dye. I will be gone as soon as I’ve come.”

Edelgard turns back to the group after Hubert disappears down the hallway. He was so weird at times. She leans forward, takes in the sight of the disgruntled group and suggests that they move on to another activity for the night. Who’s hungry? They can order a pizza and watch some type of movie. No more talk of demons, she was tired of this.

Dorothea is still dazed, Bernadetta, frightened, and Petra, for all her strangeness, the only normal one. _Demons_. Edelgard repeats to herself as she begins dialing the number for her local pizza place.

On the discarded board on the floor, none of the girls seem to notice that the planchette has moved itself again.

 _Yes_.

—

Edelgard wakes up the next morning, a bright and cheerful Saturday, with nothing to do. Hubert has gone to work, so she’s got the whole place to herself. She languishes in the plush white pillows of her bed and the warm duvet. What a glorious morning it was to do absolutely _nothing_.

She could sleep for a little bit more, maybe. Get up, cook a nice breakfast. Settle down and marathon her ever growing queue on her favorite streaming service. The possibilities were endless. She gets up, stretching out in every direction and leaps off her bed with a satisfying hop. How she misses the woman sitting in her closet as she walks out the door to her room, only God knows.

Edelgard opened the refrigerator in the kitchen, surveying its contents for something delectable to eat. What if she made a frittata that morning? She sets her phone down on the counter after selecting the appropriate mood music and starts prepping. How she wished she had the leisurely time to do such things any other morning. The life of an art history major in graduate school … was not kind to anyone who longed for extended periods of free time. Always work. Work, work, work. That was all she did.

Edelgard begins cracking eggs into a bowl and starts whisking away. What vegetables should she use? Broccoli? Pepper? Mushrooms? Onion? Do they have any tomato, or did Hubert use all of it in that shrimp and basil tomato pasta he made last week? She’s got her back to the living room. If she had been paying any attention, she would have noticed that someone had taken up residence there. Their sharp black boots, hanging over one of the edges of the sofa’s arms.

She finishes her prep, sets the cast iron pan down into the stove and sets a timer. Edelgard lowers herself down to the height of the stove’s see through center and hums happily. She can hardly wait to eat her concoction. She pours herself a cup of coffee and fills it with milk, and decides to head back into the living room to sit on the sofa and wait for it to cook.

She takes a sip of the coffee. Hm, a bit weak. Too much milk. Oh, well. Another sip. Extending her legs out on the coffee table, she rolls back on the couch and relaxes. The sounds of the city are loud and distracting outside her window, but she doesn’t care. In this little space of time, she can just relax… and take it easy. A warm, comforting smell wafts in from the kitchen and she smiles slightly to herself. What a nice morning… what a nice… hand … on her shoulder?

She opens her eyes and blinks.

Peering up, she’s granted with the view of a young woman. Blue hair, red eyes. Black, so much black. The woman is smiling. Edelgard blinks again. Did Hubert have some fling last night that she didn’t know about? How rude of him to pass the role of dismissal onto Edelgard. She’d done it before with one of the more overzealous types, but this was ridiculous.

“Are you… with Hubert?” She asks.

The woman shakes her head and doesn’t answer. She’s still smiling at Edelgard.

“Right.” Edelgard gets up, sets her cup of coffee to the table and sighs. There goes her calm for the morning. “So. Do you need money to get home or something? Hubert has already left for work and I don’t have any intention of entertaining one of his flings until he gets back.”

The blue haired woman watches her in vague amusement as Edelgard has picked up her cell phone and seems to be dialing something on the screen. Finally, she speaks. “I’m not here for Hubert.”

Oh, so it was going to be one of _those_ mornings, “Right. Games. You’re one of those types.” Edelgard presses the phone to her ear and tries to call for a taxi, but the line drops before it can even go through. She tries again, same thing. Stupid shitty phone service. She looks up at the woman who’s still standing there with the same mirthful look on her face, “Well, you should see yourself out.”

The woman shakes her head, “I can’t really do that.”

“And just why not?” Edelgard asks. Furthermore, why was she even trying to reason with this deranged woman? Hubert really had to use more discretion in picking his sexual escapades at night.

“Because.” The woman started. She walked around the couch and took a seat where Edelgard had been sitting. She leaned over to grab Edelgard’s cup of forgotten coffee, “I’m here for _you_.”

Right. Edelgard was calling the police. She reaches for her phone again, presses _9 1 1_ and holds it out so that the woman can look at her phone, “I’m going to give you a chance to _leave_ before you regret your choices.”

The woman reclines her head back, takes a sip of Edelgard’s coffee, “That won’t do anything.”

Edelgard presses the call button. Nothing happens. She jams it a couple of more times out of frustration and wants to scream when it won’t go through. _What_ was going on with this stupid piece of technology today? She watches the woman take another sip of _her_ coffee and can feel the previous calm she felt from earlier give way to rage. If this woman wasn’t going to get out, she was going to _beat_ her out and …she sniffs the air. Wait a minute, smoke? Oh, her frittata. It’s … _burning_.

The woman sips on her coffee cup again and puts her feet up on the coffee table, waving them to and fro, “Might want to check on that frittata.”

Edelgard runs back into the kitchen just as the smoke alarm starts screaming at her to come check on her food. She opens the oven and coughs at the grey smoke that emits from it. “Shut up _, shut up_!” She yells at the fire alarm as she removes the cast iron pan from the stove and puts it into the sink. She opens the window over the sink and waves the smoke away with one of the dishtowels.

The woman appears in the archway of the kitchen, waves her hand and the fire alarm shuts up, “That’s annoying, hm?”

Edelgard coughs and glares at her. This had gone far enough. She picks up the cast iron pan and brings it up over her shoulder. The burnt and soggy frittata falls to the floor with a sick and wet _splat._ “I’m going to give you ten seconds.” She says, “You can either leave my house right now. Or get your face beat in with cast iron. Take your pick.” She’s walking over to the woman now, who doesn’t seem to be paying her any attention, “One.”

The woman sighs. “I mean, that won’t do anything either. Also, you’re not very good at making coffee. The ninth layer has better coffee than this piss and that’s where we send our _worst_ offenders.”

Two. Three. Edelgard is walking toward her now, “ _FOUR_.” Ninth layer? Worst offenders? What was this woman on about? Perhaps she was clinically insane as well. Thanks, Hubert.

The woman chuckles and folds her arms over her chest, “Edelgard. Perhaps, you should calm down for just a second.”

Five. Six… seven—Edelgard blinks, feeling creeped out. How did this woman know her name, “What did you call me?” She asks, still trying to act brave in the face of fear. Did she have a stalker of some sort that had latched onto Hubert? And was she here to… no, _nope_. Edelgard swallows thickly and her grip on the cast iron pan hardens, “How do you know my _name_?”

“You know, I’ve been trying to figure it out all morning. The best way to introduce myself, you know?” The woman walks over to the counter and pushes herself up. Her legs start swinging in a playful manner, “I hid in your closet. Nope, didn’t see that. Tried going to sleep on the couch, you were too busy making your frittata.” She glances at the messy slop of food on the floor and smirks, “It was going to be good, too.”

“Get _out_.” Edelgard finally swings at her and the woman jumps back to avoid the swing. Where is _her_ phone? She needed the police here before her life turned into some psychological thriller that she was not up for playing out.

The woman ducks as Edelgard swings the cast iron pan again and it cracks into the side of the wall and gets stuck. Edelgard is struggling to pull it out, “I mean. I could have done a number of things. I started with the mirror in the hallway, but that would have been too stereotypical. Group of girls playing with an Ouija board at night and the demon comes out of the mirror? That’s Blood Mary’s gig. She’s had a hold on that market for years.”

What in the _world_ was she talking about? And how did she know about the Ouija board? Edelgard pulls hard on the cast iron pan, she’ll think about the damage she’s done later. Her life was more important right now. Another swing, “Get **OUT**.”

The woman spins herself around, “Then I thought about trying to get you in your dreams. A vision of black on a pale white horse. I think that’s what you humans have written about me. Something about summoning me with hazel and triangles or some mess. It’s all nonsense.” She shrugs, “But that’s too dramatic. Not really my style.”

Edelgard runs to the other side of the couch, her phone in view. Call the police, call the police. As soon as she reaches for it, it … shimmers? Its not there anymore. What in the _world_ is going on? This has to be a dream. She’s still asleep. That’s what this is. Just a bad dream. She looks at the crazy woman who won’t leave her dream apartment and closes her eyes, “This is a dream. I’m going to wake up now.” She stomps her foot, “Wake up, Edelgard.”

The woman chuckles and she’s got Edelgard’s phone in her hands now, “Hm. Human technology. You know we’ve got this stuff in Hell, too, right? Probably just as glitchy and shitty too.” She puts it in the pocket of her shorts, “Yeah, so anyway. I thought, might as well do the friend possession thing. That always gets people. Funny, too.”

Edelgard isn’t listening. She reaches her arms out, “Wake up. Wake up, now.”

“You _are_ awake.” The woman says, “Dorothea? Was that her name? Pretty little singer chick? Tell her Luc is always waiting for more idiots to sign themselves over in the showbiz thing. He makes a steal on harvesting all those souls.”

Why isn’t she waking up? Edelgard opens her eyes and grabs hold of the cast iron pan again. Maybe she could beat this woman out of her dream and _then_ she would wake up. “Why is my brain doing this to me?”

The woman shrugs, “Okay. I’m not getting anywhere with trying to reason with you, so let’s try this.” She reaches behind her and procures a worn, leather book. Flipping through a few pages, she finally settles on something and looks up at Edelgard, “ _Edelgard von Hresvelg. Thou who have offered up thine blood in search of my succubus…_ wait, no, sorry. I was writing really fast… ah, yes, _…in search of my services. Know that it shall be so.”_ The book snaps close with an affirming smack.

Edelgard blinks. …That’s what Dorothea … had said last night when she … oh, _fuck,_ no. It couldn’t be. She looks the woman up and down and feels her grip loosening on the cast iron pan out of fear. “…No… _no.”_

 _“_ What’s wrong?” The woman folds her arms together and smirks, “Were you expecting a cat?”

Edelgard swallows, feeling the strength in her legs almost give out, “You’re … not … _Beleth_? Demons…” She begins, shaking her head slowly. Her wisteria eyes are growing wider by the minute, “…aren’t _real_.”

“Should have listened to that one that kept freaking out last night. Honestly, she was the only one with any kind of sense. What was it? Bernadetta? I don’t want to have sex with her by the way.” Byleth begins walking over to her now. Slow and deliberate.

Edelgard backed away, “No. No, no, no. You’re a dream.”

“Not exactly.” Byleth replies, “I keep telling you this is reality. Do you need a minute? I can help with breathing exercises if you need it.”

Edelgard drops the pan and it clatters to the floor with a solid thud, “I’m going to sleep. Maybe if I go to sleep, I’ll wake up. Yes, it’s one of those dreams, isn’t it?”

Byleth watches her descend into a fit of hysterics, “I mean. You can try. But when you wake up, I’ll still be here.”

Edelgard turns away from the dream apparition, muttering to herself about lack of sleep and needing to relax. As she advances toward her door, Byleth only seems to follow her. She turns back around, pointing an accusatory finger at the demon. “No! _No_. You stay here. In the living room and I command you not to follow me. You… you …”

Byleth rolls her eyes, “…Demon?” She offers.

“Yes!” Edelgard says, waving her finger in every which way, “You’re a _dream_ demon that I’m dreaming up. Because you’re not real. So that makes you a not real dream demon in a dream.”

“Actually, the Japanese have something called _baku_ , if you’re talking about a dream demon _eating_ your bad dreams. Which is what I’m guessing you want right now… even though this _isn’t_ a dream.” Byleth corrects her, “Cute little guys. They’re not really as fearsome as you humans portray them.

“Shut _up!_ ” Edelgard cradles her head. She was so tired of trying to reason with this strange dream … _thing_.

“Okay. I’ll let you go back to sleep.” Byleth holds up her hands, a sign of a truce, “I’ll go clean up the frittata. Make you a new one when you wake up so we can _talk_ about things. Oh, and.” She reaches down and procures Edelgard’s phone, “Here’s your phone. You can try dialing the police again if you want to, I might entertain you and let it go through. I’ll see how I feel if you wake up and talk to me reasonably about things, though.”

Edelgard snatches her phone away from Byleth, opens her door, and slams it shut in the face of the demon, “You stay there you… you …”

Byleth snorts again, “Demon?”

“Yes!” Edelgard shouts back. She slowly backs her way to her bed, making sure that that damn door _stays_ shut.

“I won’t come in, I promise.” Byleth’s muffled response comes from the other side, “Contract orders. I’m not supposed to enter places you deem off limits. Some places are above those rules, however. You’ll see. I’ll go over all of this with you once you awaken from your _dream_.”

Edelgard doesn’t bother to give her a response. She rushes back over to her bed and throws the sheets over her head, closes her eyes and slams her pillow over her head. Just a dream. Just a dream. Demons aren’t real. This was a _dream_.

_Demons aren’t real, El..._

—

Edelgard wakes up and it’s later in the morning. She sighs in relief when she realizes that she’s back in the _real_ world. Alone, nice and quiet. No Hubert. No Dorothea or Petra or Bernadetta. No fighting off demons in a dream with a frying pan. Nice and safe. She checks the time. 11:23AM. She could still make breakfast.

She stretches, massages her neck and makes her way toward the door of her room. There she goes again, on her merry way to start another merry morning. She opens it and blinks. She didn’t wake up, did she? Edelgard smacks herself. That _hurt_. No. She smacks herself again and her face starts to smart from the impact of the hit. That feels _too_ real to be a dream. Her hands start shaking again as the person in the living room turns to look at her. Blue hair, slightly less red eyes. All black clothing. It’s not a cat. Why did the book say she was a _cat?_

Byleth is sitting on the couch now, remote in her hand and flipping through something on the television. She’s drinking something in one of Edelgard’s favorite mugs. The audacity. She puts the remote down, smiles softly and gets to her feet. Edelgard can only watch her in silent horror as Byleth comes over to her bedroom door, pauses in front of her. She looks up into the eyes of the demon that slightly dwarfs her in size and her breath hitches in small fits.

“I toned down the red eyes. Thought you might be scared, so. Does the vague hint of red work for you?” Byleth closes her eyes and then she reopens them, “Or we could go blue for something more … human, I guess.”

Edelgard is silent.

Byleth continues.

“So …you ready to _talk_ now?”

Edelgard blinks once. Byleth smiles, blunted fangs on display.

Twice. Byleth cocks her head to the side, the question still remaining.

She screams. Byleth winces at the offending assault on her ears.

_Welcome to Hell, Edelgard._


	2. The Pact Ceremony

Edelgard wont stop crying and Byleth is growing annoyed.

After finally zipping her mouth shut—literally—to get her to stop screaming, Edelgard has disappeared into her room for the majority of the early afternoon and wouldn’t come out.

Byleth had tried everything, told her she was going to curse her apartment with roaches. She had sent _one_ under Edelgard’s door and heard a muffled thud and the kicking of the offending bug back under the door. It landed, crinkled up and twitching, at Byleth’s feet. Nope. She tried the old opening and closing windows and doors trick, complete with ominous ghost sounds. Nope. 

She flipped open her book to check her notes. Edelgard ... Edelgard. Hates rats and ... can’t swim. Couldn’t summon an ocean into a damn apartment, so rats it was. She didn’t want to _scare_ her per se, but a little forceful persuasion was necessary. Byleth summoned three of the cutest little rodents she could muster and the _rate_ at which that door flew open and Edelgard came out screaming— **again** —had been comical. Easy little, human.

Edelgard didn’t care; she jumped at Byleth and screamed to _get rid of this filth._ The plagues and disease they carry, why would you do this to _meeeee._ Byleth had caught her, bridal style, and chuckled as the rats circled around her feet—intent on covering Edelgard with their cute little rat kisses. Byleth doesn’t dispel them immediately, she acts like she’s going to let Edelgard go and the girl clutches to her with such ferocity she would have snapped in two if she were anyone else. Silly, weak, humans. It’s only when Edelgard starts actively crying and clawing at her back does she dismiss the rats, _see, not real._

Edelgard whacks the demon to let her go and Byleth—always a gentlewoman ... or man when she felt like it—drops her to her feet. Was she ready to talk like a civilized human now? And look, I made you a new frittata. She hadn’t eaten all day and she knew Edelgard was hungry. Her stomach gurgles in retaliation, _eat the frittata and listen to the nice demon now, El._ Edelgard looks at her and turns around like she’s going to hide in her room again, but, _no_ , Byleth has had enough of this.

Byleth slams the door with a snap of her fingers and it locks. Nope, no sanctuary for you, Edelgard. She pulls her charge along with a strict come hither motion of her finger and Edelgard finds herself dragged against her will to the couch to sit with Byleth. Byleth pushes the frittata her way and sips at her forgotten mug of coffee.

“ _Eat_.” She instructs her.

Edelgard almost looks like she had broken out of the bind, but eventually loses the battle. She takes one bite of the frittata ... and then the tears come. No, _no._ No crying, please stop. She hates it when humans do this, the _wailing,_ for fucks sake. But Edelgard doesn’t stop. Byleth relinquishes the momentary bind and Edelgard is covering her face with her hands in less than two seconds.

Byleth takes in the scene before her and massages her temples at the sounds of Edelgard’s wails. Her new charge was cute, _very_ cute. The last person that had tried to summon her hadn’t lasted thirty minutes into meeting her. Some old psycho who thought he was being edgy by doing summoning rituals in a god damn cemetery. She remembers the disgust on his face when he saw her. A _woman_ —he had thought he was summoning one of the greatest _kings_ of Hell?

Byleth hadn’t taken too kindly to that insult, cut off his head and devoured his soul on the spot. She could assume her male form if she wanted to, but she preferred _this_ one. Much less scary, got laid a lot more too.

Byleth took a sip of the coffee _she_ had brewed—honestly, they had to work on Edelgard’s coffee making skills—and reclines in the sofa. She began tapping a contemplative finger to her cheek. What a _simple_ girl. What did she think would happen making deals with the Devil? Well, a _devil_. She tapped her foot on the floor in some form of apology. _Sorry, Luc_. Not trying to steal your thunder or anything.

Edelgard stops for a moment to look up at her and then launches into a whole new fit of hysterics. All right, enough of this. Byleth looks at the forgotten frittata on the coffee table and sighs, “It’s really not that bad. It could be worse. You could have summoned Balam, after all. That man never wears clothes. Is that it? Did you want a naked man riding a giant bear walking around your house?”

Edelgard hiccups pathetically and wipes under her eyes. She was so fucked. Bears? Naked men? What kind of demonic nonsense was this now, “What? There’s a naked bear in the house now?”

“No, he _rides_ a bear. Sometimes when he’s feeling sassy he’ll walk around with his three heads and tail looking like a circus freak.” Byleth corrected her, “I don’t know. He’s got a weird niche in the market. Something about lonely housewives yearning for strong, wild, mountain men.”

Edelgard blinks and rubs at her eyes again. Her voice grows quite small. “I’ve gone _mad_.”

“Not yet.” Byleth grabs her coffee, “We could work on that, though.”

Edelgard blinks her tear soaked eyes and tries to glare at the demon. Cute, she thought she was scary, “How do I get rid of you? I don’t want this.”

“You were certainly up for the challenge last night, weren’t you?” Byleth reminds her, “Offering a blood oath to a Ouija board and invoking my name to show your friends you weren’t afraid. A pretty ballsy move.”

Edelgard tried to glare harder, trying her best to look intimidating, “You didn’t have to answer, you know.”

“You,” Byleth pointed at her, “called _me_. Not the other way around.”

“Why didn’t you possess the other girls or go harass them? Why _me?”_ Edelgard asks, clearly losing this battle.

“Must I repeat myself?” Byleth cleared her throat and the voice that came out of her mouth sounded exactly like Edelgard, “ _Byleth, King of Hell, will you enter into a blood contract with me? Grant me any boon that I desire_?” She batted her eyes for an added comical effect, “Hi, I’m Edelgard von Hrsevelg and I just sold my soul to a demon. I’ll be here for all eternity, thank you!”

Edelgard wanted to die. In fact, she should kill herself right now. She stood up and Byleth watched her in amusement. What was the human going to do now? “I’ll kill myself.”

Byleth rolled her eyes. “That’s not how things work. If you kill yourself, I’ll just claim your soul and take you back with me to Hell and that won’t be any fun, will it?” Byleth looked her up and down, “You’re cute though. I could maybe put in a good word for you with, Luc. Maybe take you in and make you the number one girl in my harem if that makes you happy. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle before we get into the _real_ nasty stuff.”

Edelgard blanched. Become a sex slave, some whore of Gomorrah, to this demon? She would rather ... well she couldn’t die, now could she? She looks back up at Byleth, feeling defiant. “Then... then I’ll kill _you_!”

“What? Hit me with the frying pan again?” Byleth is vaguely amused, “I mean you could _try_ and kill me. But I’d just smite you first. Edelgard, you’re talking to a _king_ of Hell, here.

Edelgard sits down, finally defeated. “Fine. _Fine_. You win. Talk.” She ducks into the chair and looks down at the cold ass frittata, “Just tell me what you have to. You own my soul now, don’t you?”

“Kind of...” Byleth shifts in the seat, “Hold on, gotta change first. We’re about to conduct a business meeting and all.” Two horns, dark as night, poof into existence on to the top of her head in a cloud of smoke. Her clothes kind of ... poof as well. Long black cape, black stilettos, form fitting low cut dress. _This_ was formal attire? “Sorry if the horns freak you out, it’s business right now though.”

Edelgard stares at her, “Formal? You’re _exposed_.”

Byleth looks down at her chest and readjusts the dress so that she has a little more coverage. It doesn’t change much. “I like the well endowed look.” She pulls at the fabric and giggles as she watches her boobs give a little jiggle.

Edelgard mutters, “Shameful.” And looks away from the offending demon.

Byleth ignores her as she opens her book to look at something and crosses her legs, “Okay, then. Are you ready?”

“No. But, tell me what I need to know.” Edelgard grumbles, still not meeting her eyes.

“Okay!” Byleth stands up and walks over to where Edelgard is sitting. She offers a hand, “Might want to hold on to me for your first time. The ride down gets a little bumpy. Inter-dimensional turbulence and all that.”

In a daze, she allows Byleth to pull her to her feet and blinks. What in the world was she talking about? Before she can even ask questions, the apartment fades from view everything sort of drops out from beneath her. Edelgard nearly vomits at the rate in which she’s spinning.

The world fades to black and she feels like she’s falling. Falling through the Earth? Everything is cold wind and hot ass fire, the sounds of people crying out in pain and terror. Darkness and… an arm around her waist. She looks up through the mess of her hair that’s currently blowing in every direction over her face and sees that it’s Byleth, holding on to her. She feels dizzy and the feelings of nausea come back over her in waves.

“Sorry!” Byleth yells to her over the sounds of someone screaming, “This is the express route! Just hold on, we’re almost there.”

Oh, the sounds. They were making her head hurt. She just might faint.

“Oh, yeah, don’t mind the screaming! It’s just the new recruits being broken in! Some lashes for a couple millennia and they’ll be fine!”

New recruits? Lashes? Edelgard closes her eyes, she can’t take this anymore. The world stops falling and the intensity of the heat increases. It’s so damn _hot._ But she’s stopped and pressed against something solid. Something cool ruffles her bangs and she opens her eyes. Edelgard picks her head up to see that she’s in a dark room, surrounded in a circle of candles with a white sigil painted on the floor. In the corner, Byleth is sitting at a desk and messing with a stack of ... _papers_? She looks up at Edelgard and flashes her a toothy smile, fangs on display.

“I just turned on the AC, should be fine in awhile. Sorry for the mess, I haven’t used this office since my last long term contract. It’s been awhile.” Byleth wipes her brow and comes over to Edelgard. A chair seems to appear out of nowhere as she sits down and a table pops up between them. She pushes a piece of paper, a small card and a quill over to Edelgard, “That’s for youuuu, in case you want to take notes.”

Edelgard glances at the paper, leaning forward as her wits slowly come back to her. She picks up the small card. It’s black and metallic, with the writing in a dark red ink. _Byleth, king of Hell. Harvester of souls. Ace fisher of the river Styx. Call my name to summon me for a good time._ On the bottom of the card is a winking demon blowing a kiss... that Edelgard assumes is supposed to ...Byleth? Disturbing.

“Okay, let’s get the annoying paperwork out of the way first.” Byleth is talking to herself now, ignoring Edelgard’s confusion, “I Byleth, king of Hell, do solemnly swear to uphold the contract that exists between me ... party A ...” She was writing something, “and Edelgard von Hresvelg ... that would be party B ...” She writes something else.

“... What is this?” Edelgard asks, still dazed and confused.

“Our binding ceremony.” Byleth answers, briefly looking up from the papers she’s flying through, “The official agreement of our pact. You already did your part, this is mine.”

“Oh.” Oh. Sure. Right.

Byleth leans back in her chair and crosses her legs, “Terms and conditions, listen up. This is the part where you might want to take notes.”

Edelgard wordlessly leans forward, seemingly of her own volition. She pulls the paper closer to her and picks up the quill pen. Guess she should dip it into the …bottle of ink? “I’m listening.”

Byleth starts using her fingers to count off the rules of their contract, “Article A. I own your soul for all eternity.”

“Wait. _What_?”

Byleth chuckles, “Didn’t you read the fine print? Your soul is _mine_. I’ll be here until you die. Time doesn’t really pass in the same way for demons like it does you humans. So for me, this will go in a blink of an eye. Your suffering will feel longer lasting. Now stop interrupting.”

Edelgard looks at her with pleading eyes, “There has to be some other way...”

Byleth rolls her eyes and sighs, “Well, I suppose you _could_ make a deal with another demon. You’re already in the big leagues with me, so you would have to choose another king...” Her eyes wonder in thought, “There’s Baal, the first. Classic guy, sticks to the basics. Hm… Paimon is insane, that guy has poor volume control. Want a man roaring at you at all hours of the night and day?” She frowns, “He also has a hard on for Luc... what a kiss up.”

Baal? Paimon? “ _Luc_?” Edelgard asks.

“Luc. _Lucifer_. What your kind calls Satan? The Devil? The ultimate purveyor of doom. Really, he’s not even that _bad_. Did you know he recently turned vegan?” Byleth shakes her head as if realizing she had gone on another tangent, “Stop interrupting, _El._ ”

Edelgard looks like she wants to maim Byleth. How did this demon know _that_ name? “Fine.” She grips the quill pin so tightly in her hand that it snaps. Another one materializes our of the air and falls to the table with a clatter. Edelgard dips it into the inkbottle again and glares at the demon, “Continue.”

“Article B, I won’t kill you if you don’t try first... think we’ve been over that one. Let’s see.... C, I shall grant you anything you desire... within reason though.” Byleth drops her paper and gestures, “One time I had this guy bent on world domination, so cliché, right? Of course he would summon a demon. So I help him, kill his enemies and all that mess. But then _he_ starts acting weird on me. Said it was my fault for his wife leaving him cause I gave him all this power and—look. Long story short, I ended up killing him, but, like, my point is, _think_ about what you’re asking me for, okay? All of this has consequences. I’m a little bit more lenient than the others in terms of this type of stuff. We want you to be _happy_ in the time you have before I drag your soul to Hell, don’t we?”

“Right.” Edelgard mumbles.

“D. I, the demon person, will not enter those domains that my cute little human deems as private or off limits.” Byleth lowers the paper, “Right, so your room is sanctuary, how about that. I can’t get in unless you allow me.”

“But what about earlier when you were in my closet?” Edelgard asked.

Byleth flips a couple of papers over, “You hadn’t claimed it from me yet. Shame. I wanted to spend more time looking at your shoe collection, too.” Byleth holds out her thumb, “There _is_ one exception.”

“And that is?”

“If your life is in danger.” Byleth replies, “I’m obligated by demon law to save you.”

“How chivalrous.” Edelgard mutters.

“Well, that’s it then.” Byleth goes to close her stack of sheets, but Edelgard interrupts her.

Wait a minute. “No, it isn’t. What’s that last page?” She points at the blatant tab sticking out marked with an _F_ that Byleth hadn’t bothered with. “Read _that._ ”

“Fine. The final and most _boring_ of all clauses.” Byleth flips the papers back over and monotonously explains, “The contract is broken if I fall in _love_ with you. Which will never happen. Demons don’t have hearts. We may ravage and destroy towns. Take a human to bed every now and then but we don’t _fall_ in love. This is Hell. Not a Brady Bunch special.”

Fall in love? Edelgard starts cackling and she can’t stop, “Fall in _love,_ with a _demon_? Why that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever—OW.” She grabs her hand away from Byleth and clutches it to her chest. Blood drips from her hand and onto the white shorts she had fallen asleep in.

“What was _that_ for?”

“Sealing the oath in blood.” Byleth comments, using the bloody knife to cut at the palm of her own hand. She grabs the hand Edelgard had been clutching and sort of mashes them together, tells Edelgard to stop whining. It doesn’t even hurt. She slides the blood on her hand over the paper and looks at it with a satisfying nod, “And we’re done. What a headache, I hate paperwork.”

Edelgard looks at her bloody hand and frowns, “This is disgusting.”

Byleth rolls her eyes and walks over to a small table to grab a small white bottle. “Here, some hand sanitizer.”

Edelgard looks at the bottle and squints her eyes at the writing on the front. _God Begone? Kills 99.9% of God’s good germs_. The blasphemy of this place. She presses the pump and starts to wipe the liquid all over her hands. It stings. Even in Hell, alcohol sanitizer would always hurt. She looks up at Byleth who’s tucking something away in her desk, “…What now?”

“You have any questions before we return to the surface?” Byleth asks, coming to sit down at the table again. She’s got a long, black pipe pressed to her lips now and blows a perfect ring of sweet smelling smoke into the air. “Anything I forgot to mention? Didn’t cover?”

Edelgard cocks her head to the side, “Why are you called a King if you’re a _woman_?”

“It’s like ... kind of a company slogan. The Kings of Hell.” Byleth replies, balancing the tip of the pipe against her front teeth. She waves a hand over her face and startles Edelgard as her features change into a more masculine form and the sound of his voice dips into a deeper register, “Besides, I have a male form, too. I just prefer the female.”

“Please _don’t_ do that so suddenly.” Edelgard whines. Really, she was having it up to _here_ with all of this demon nonsense.

Byleth chuckles as he blows another ring of smoke into the air, “Well, which do you prefer, Edelgard? My male form that makes all the women swoon, or…” He turns back into the familiar female form that Edelgard was slowly growing accustomed to, “…The sweet and innocent unassuming female?”

“Please. Just _stay_ as you are.” Edelgard squeaks out.

“Got a thing for the ladies? That it?”

Edelgard narrows her eyes at the demon. She was bisexual, thank you very much. Well, bisexual with more of an inclination toward the ladies … but that had nothing to do with it. “Like I’m trying to fuck the demon I unwillingly summoned.”

Byleth shrugs, “Hey, I’m a free lover. Sex is sex if we ever come to it, just so you know.”

Edelgard ignores Byleth’s callous advances and points to the white sigil that she had noticed before they even started this so called ceremony, “What’s this drawing on the floor?”

“Oh, that’s my summoning sigil.” Byleth replies, lifting a foot and looking at the ground to see where Edelgard was pointing, “People who are just summoning me for like, a one shot errand usually use this bad boy. I’ve also got them littered throughout Hell for instant transportation to places. Quite a nifty little bit of demon magic if I say so myself. Maybe I should put one in your apartment somewhere.”

“ _Right_.” Edelgard replies, “…Can we go now?”

“Sure, sure.” Byleth dismisses the pipe into thin air, the table in front of them disappears in a black cloud of smoke and she gets to her feet, “We’re going to have to go back the way we came. Are you ready?”

Edelgard can barely stand up from her seat she was so weary. She looks up at Byleth who seems to grab her up by the arms and swoop her up into a bridal style hold, “Get your _hands_ off of me, demon.” Edelgard protests, pushing at Byleth’s shoulders but she doesn’t budge.

“We need to get you into the gym. God, I barely felt that.” Byleth starts, as the world seems to run in fast forward again. “Little chicken stick arms.”

“Shut _up._ ” Edelgard groans and closes her eyes. They pass through the intense heat, the screams from before, and the wind just won’t stop messing up her _hair_. She knocks her head into Byleth’s shoulder, trying to will the feeling of nausea down. She was never doing this again. This was _terrible_. Just like Byleth.

Byleth’s high heels clack on the wood flooring of the living room with a satisfying thud and Edelgard chances opening one of her eyes, “We’re _back_!” Byleth calls out in a singsong manner to no one in particular.

Edelgard flails and Byleth puts her down on the floor, “Ugh. The worst. My _hair_ , ew _.”_ Was that a fly? A large _dead_ demon fly convulsing and struggling to make its way out? She swats at it and it drops to the floor in a cloud of red and black smoke. She turns to Byleth, exhausted and overwhelmed, “Please leave me alone. I’ve had enough for today.”

Byleth looks dejected, “What? You don’t have anything for me to do today?” Her large horns and scandalous “formal” attire from before have disappeared and given way to what she was wearing from before.

“No!” Edelgard yells at the top of her lungs, “I never wanted you in the first place! Go back to Hell where you belong!”

“ _Whom_ are you speaking with, Edelgard?”

Byleth is mirthful and takes a step back as Hubert peaks a tired head around the corner to look at Edelgard—who is screaming at herself, alone, in the living room. He knew the poor girl was stressed, but this was ridiculous. Edelgard looks at Byleth and then Hubert who is still waiting for her answer. She feels something land into the pocket of her shorts.

Byleth goes to stand in the archway where Hubert is and crosses her arms over her chest, “Check your pocket, your cell phone should be in there. I’ll leave the story up to you. You’re _welcome_.”

Edelgard tries to feign composure and pulls her phone out of her pocket. Byleth was _right_. She waves it at Hubert, “A bad phone call. Those damn solicitors again. …You know.”

Hubert nods, “Right. If you would please keep it down? I need my sleep before my shift tonight.” He disappears back into the hallway and Edelgard hears the sound of his door closing.

Byleth watches him fade away, “Hubert, huh? That guy looks like he’s in a league of my own. Too bad he’s still living. Probably would make a great henchman if you gave him a chance.”

Edelgard wrinkles her nose, “Just… stop it.”

Byleth stretches her arms over her head, “Man, I haven’t had this much action in awhile.” She walks back over to Edelgard, “You sure you don’t have anything for me to do?”

“No.” Edelgard clutches her phone to her chest and starts backing away from Byleth. Her bedroom, her sanctuary. She was going back to sleep. Going to Hell, coming back, blood pacts. She had had enough excitement with demons for one day. She turns away from Byleth in frustration and let’s herself into her room. She slams the door in Byleth’s face.

“Aww, Edelgard. Come on.” Byleth’s muffled voice from the other side.

She doesn’t dignify her with a response. Flopping over onto her bed, Edelgard pulls her phone out and looks through her messenger app. She sends Dorothea a text; _Need to meet up later for dinner. I need to talk to you._

“Oh! Dorothea. Yeah, let’s meet up with her.” Byleth chimes, “I’d love to hear what you would say about me to her.”

 _Please, shut up_. Edelgard thinks in her head.

“Okay, I’ll be quiet. See you when you wake up, El.”

Byleth’s footsteps echo away from her door and everything goes quiet. Edelgard releases the breath that she had been holding in and face plants into her pillow. Dorothea would believe her right? She was there when that … _thing_ happened. She could talk to her and they could figure something out—do something to save her freaking _soul_.

She rolls over in bed, pulls the covers over her face, and resists the urge to scream. In the background she can hear Byleth mumbling something about tax codes and lighting someone’s ass on fire. No, ignore her. Close your eyes and go to sleep, El.

What in the world had she gotten into?


	3. Pick Your Shots Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve currently been on vacation and will be returning to a normal work schedule pretty soon, so updates will be more sporadic. I’ll try and keep a weekly update schedule at best.

Edelgard has Deap Valley’s _Baby I Call Hell_ playing at max volume in her headphones, trying to drown out the world. Mostly, trying to drown out Byleth.

Byleth is behind her, has her eyes closed, nodding her head to the beat of the electric guitar blaring out of Edelgard’s headphones and seems to be silently mouthing the lyrics. _Baby do you love me like you say you do?_ Byleth turns around, her headbanging turning more circular in motion, hair flying in every which way. _Cause what you call love, baby, I call hell._ Yes. This _was_ Hell. Oh, how she hates her life right now.

Edelgard had tried to lose her in the crowds, ducked and weaved between all the pedestrians walking on the sidewalk. Byleth simply … walked right through them, reminding Edelgard that it was impossible for her to lose her. Edelgard had tried to _command_ her to stop following her, but Byleth merely chuckled. _This_ was a public space in which the will of all souls melded together. Her wants, or another, had no dominance of rule over all.

Oh, and if she wanted, she could speak to Byleth in her _head_. She probably wanted to stop looking so crazy to everyone they passed by, constantly muttering under her breath at Byleth. Edelgard, always disgruntled, makes a note of this. They descended into the train station, Edelgard swiping her card and Byleth phasing through the turnstile right behind her. The train came rushing into the station just as they arrived on the platform.

“So, what are we eating tonight?” Byleth asks, as they board the train and the doors close behind them, “Chinese? Korean? Brazilian? Italian?”

Edelgard pretends that she doesn’t exist and just turns the volume on her headphones up. Byleth’s voice is now in her head. “ _Get_ **out _._** _”_

“That’s rude, you know.”

Honestly, did this demon _ever_ shut up?

The train pulls into another station and Edelgard gets out with Byleth trailing faithfully behind her. She reaches the restaurant that Dorothea had picked out for the night and internally grimaces. Why are Petra and Bernadetta _here_? She wanted a one on one dinner for the night. She stiffens up as her friends turn around and wave to her.

Byleth almost seems to … _float_ by her and gestures toward the table, “Well. Don’t be rude. Let’s sit down with our _friends_ for a nice little chat.”

Edelgard follows after the demon and sits down in the space next to Petra, “Hey, guys…” She shoots a pointed look at Dorothea like— _why_ did you invite Petra and Bernadetta?

“What is the up?” Petra asks her, and points to the ceiling, “The _ceiling_. A joke I have heard today.”

Dorothea looks at Petra like she doesn’t know if she should laugh or pity her, “…That’s … great, Petra.”

Byleth climbs on top of the ledge above the booth and casually sprawls out along its length like a domesticated cat. She balances her head on an extended arm and crosses her legs over one another so that they hang off the other end, “I like the foreign one. She’s funny.”

Edelgard glances at her, “Yes… very funny, indeed.” She clears her throat; “I … wanted to talk to you guys about something. Something… important.”

“What’s up, Eddy? You sounded like something was wrong in that text you sent me.” Dorothea asks.

“Is … is everything all right?” Bernadetta chimes in.

“Is the ceiling giving you the trouble?” Petra asks, still stuck on her previous statement. Someone get this girl a dictionary.

“The ceiling is _fine,_ Petra.” Edelgard sighs, “It’s about last night.”

“Oh.” Dorothea nods her head, “What about it?”

“You still don’t remember passing out do you?” Edelgard asks.

“Yeah. When… when the de… demon …” Bernadetta shrivels into her self and covers her face.

“Possessed you.” Edelgard finishes for Bernadetta.

“Possessed? Was she not practicing for an act?” Petra asked, never quite following the conversation.

Byleth chuckles, rolls over onto her back and puts both arms behind her head to look at the ceiling, “This girl just keeps on giving.”

“You keep _saying that_.” Dorothea says as she reaches for a menu so they can start ordering some food, “I don’t think that’s what happened.”

Edelgard inhales and sighs. She looks up at Byleth who’s currently lounging on the ledge above their booth and then lowers her voice. “I’ve … I’ve been hearing voices.” She said, “And… this morning.”

Byleth perked up, “Oh! We’re talking about _me_ now.”

“This morning there was _something_ in my apartment.” Edelgard continues.

“Like… _what_?” Bernadetta asks. At this point, she’s the only person that believes Edelgard.

“Like … like …” Edelgard tries to search for the words. A ridiculous well endowed woman wearing spikey black boots and sipping from her _favorite_ mug, all whilst complaining about her coffee making skills? A demon king that dragged her down to _Hell_ to sign a blood oath? Could she tell them that it wasn’t a _cat_ like the book claimed her to be?

“You should go with the dragged down to Hell bit and how you almost threw up on me.” Byleth suggests, but Edelgard really isn’t listening.

“I can’t describe it.” Edelgard says as they all wait in suspense for her to continue, “But we summoned something, guys. Something _bad_.”  
  
Petra blinks, “Sumo? The Japanese wrestling arts?”

“Sum— _moned_.” Dorothea corrects Petra and takes a sip of her drink, “Eddy, you’re going crazy. Are you getting enough sleep? Demons aren’t real like you _said,_ remember?”

Edelgard frowns, “Guys, I’m telling you the truth here. Byleth is _real_.”

“Damn straight I am. Here, let me help you out.” She leans over the edge of the ledge, kicking her feet up behind her and crossing them. She points a finger at the table and starts making designs in the air as if she’s writing something, “There we go. That should be enough proof of our engagement. What do you want to wear to the wedding? I was thinking a shiny gold tuxedo with—“

 _“Will you **shut up**?” _Edelgard is so distracted by Byleth’s musings that she doesn’t realize the red writing appearing under her hands on the tan table.

_Hello ladies, how do you do? It is I, Byleth._

Dorothea nearly breaks her neck with the speed in which she backs into her corner of the booth. Bernadetta covers her hands to stifle her yelp and Petra is peering at the table, questioning if Edelgard is …bleeding?

“Eddy… the _table_.” Dorothea points, in sheer horror.

Edelgard looks down at the table and then frowns, “ _Now_ do you believe me? This thing has been harassing me all day. It never stops.”

“It’s not _harassment_. We’re having fun, right.” Byleth asks, balancing her chin on her hand and swinging a leg to and fro.

“Oh my _God_.” Bernadetta closes her eyes, shaking, “What do we _do_?”

“Enjoy my company?” Byleth asks, looking down at her.

“I want to get rid of it.” Edelgard says, “But I don’t know how.”

“Clause F.” Byleth reminds her as she resumes her previous position of lying back on the ledge, arms behind her head again. “And that’s never gonna happen. So looks like you’re stuck with me, _Eddy._ ”

Edelgard nearly blanches at the sound of Byleth using Dorothea’s nickname for her, “Do you guys have any ideas?”

“Perhaps, we should clean the table?” Petra asks, “It is rude to write on property that isn’t yours.”

Dorothea, ignoring her, turns to Edelgard, “Why don’t we go back to the shop and talk to that lady after we’re done with dinner? I’m sure she could tell us what to do…” She lowers her gaze, “… Wow, was I really possessed by a demon?”

“Not for long, no. I couldn’t stay in that body. …Not with _those_ thoughts.” Byleth comments offhandedly.

“I … I think we should.” Bernadetta nods, “I don’t … wa …want you to die, Edelgard.”

“I’m not going to _die,_ Bernadetta.” Edelgard sighs, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t plan on killing her yet.” Byleth chimes in as well. “Or at all, really. Not unless she tries first.”

“Then it’s settled. Occult store after we eat, ladies?” Dorothea asks, surveying the table.

They all agree and Byleth whines. She wanted them to talk about _her_ some more. The conversation topic lapses into something less… demonic and they all order food and get on with the night.

After the food comes, Byleth wrinkles her nose at the sheer amount of _salt_ that Edelgard is using on her avocado scramble. An idea pings into Edelgard’s head. …That’s right; salt is a purifier isn’t it? Demons are repelled by salt, _aren’t_ they? She looks up at Byleth and turns the saltshaker into her hand, collecting a small amount of white dust in her palm. Byleth sneezes and glares down at her unruly charge. _Rude_. Dorothea merely stares at her and asks her _what in the_ world _is she **doing**_? Edelgard merely states, _repelling demons_. A collective sound of agreement goes around the table, but not Petra. She asks Edelgard if she’s getting _salty_. Everyone just stares. Byleth’s laughter is cut short with another sneeze.

They go to the occult store after dinner. The woman from the other day that had sold them all those books is standing behind the cash register like before. She looks perturbed at the gaggle of girls all coming into her shop when it’s so close to closing time. She notices the sheepish look on the girl with white hair and her brunette friend that seems to be pulling at her wrist. A shiver runs down her spine. There is something _there_.

“Oh! She knows I’m here. Must be like, a level two though on the demon sensing scale. Doesn’t seem very adept, to be honest.” Byleth comments as she keeps pace with Edelgard who is being dragged along by Dorothea. Petra and Bernadetta have occupied themselves with sniffing the incense by the entry to the store.

“ _Demon sensing scale_?” Edelgard turns to her questioningly.

“Yeah, some of you lot are born with _special powers_.” Byleth’s intonation takes a really stupid dive in tone as she wiggles her fingers, “Same goes for angels and seraphim, God’s lackeys. Some people can sense them. Scale goes from like, absolute trash to prodigious oracle or something.”

“ _Where am I?”_ Edelgard is _somewhat_ intrigued.

“Absolute trash.” Byleth answers, not even sparing her feelings. “I was _right_ in front of you and you still ignored me.”

Edelgard turns her head away, ignoring Byleth’s answer. Stupid demon.

Dorothea pulls them up to the cash register and smiles timidly at the woman, “Good… good evening.”

“What can I do for you today?” She casts a glance toward Dorothea, looks at Edelgard, and then the invisible space that Byleth occupies.

Byleth leans on the counter and points at the woman, who’s engaging with Dorothea in rapt conversation, “Oh, hey. I _know_ her. This is one of Balam’s girls!” She leans in closer to Edelgard, “I hear she summons him every Saturday and they do things with carrots. Lots … and _lots_ of carrots. The shit you humans get into with us demons, I swear.”

 _“Please, be quiet.”_ Edelgard shoots her a pointed look.

“Just trying to be a source of knowledge. I’m gonna go check out the books in this store. See how badly they’re written. You girls have fun with figuring out how to get rid of me. Should be enlightening.” Byleth disappears off into the stacks and gives Edelgard some peace and quiet for once.

The woman who was previously talking to Dorothea looks at Edelgard as she shyly comes up to the counter now. The woman frowns, “I _warned_ you.”

“Yes, you did.” Edelgard says, “And I apologize for my rudeness to you the other day. But, please, we must know. How do we get rid of ... _this_? It seems a … a malevolent spirit has attached itself to me and I am _tired_ of having it follow me around.”

“That’s _benevolent._ ” Byleth chimes as she leaves the stacks and starts looking at some rack displaying protection trinkets.

“You must get rid of the board in which you summoned it. Here, take this.” The woman reaches for something underneath the counter and places it down in front of the girls. It’s a plastic bottle with the words _Holy Water_ scrawled across it in blue lettering with a small cross underneath it. Byleth chimes— _that’s just tap water—_ as she looks up briefly to see what the woman was doing, “It is our finest protection water. You must douse yourselves in it.”

Dorothea picks it up and looks at the bottle, “Will it really work?”

Byleth, again— _no, she’s ripping you off—_ and goes back to the stacks. Edelgard wishes she would shut up.

The woman nods solemnly, “Yes. Also salt. Line your gums and wrists with salt. Swish this around in your mouth and spit.” She looks at Edelgard, “As for the Ouija board, you must follow these instructions closely.”

Edelgard nods her head, “Yes, we’re listening.”

“Did you tell the spirit goodbye when you ended your session?”

Dorothea looks at Edelgard like— _fuck, we didn’t—_ and shakes her head, “No… we didn’t.”

“Yes. Open up the channel on the Ouija board with the original coven that you started with. Once you open the channel, tell the spirit, _goodbye_. Next, wrap the board in a silk or velvet cloth, or place it in a silk bag if you do not have either of those.” The woman nods in a vague way, as if she knows what she’s talking about, “You must bury the board and planchette in a cemetery of consecrated ground. Place the planchette in the ground first, and then the board face up in the bag. _Make_ sure they are buried in the same place.”

Byleth, still occupying her time in the stacks while looking at books on hieroglyphics, is trying to keep her laughter down to a minimum. This lady has _no_ idea what she was talking about.

“What should we do next?” Edelgard asks. Petra and Bernadetta have gotten bored, so they’ve joined the other two girls over at the cash register.

“You must seal the board. Pour a circle of salt around it after you have buried it. Tell the board you no longer acknowledge a connection to it and the plague that follows you shall be released from your life, forever.” The woman nods, “Do exactly as I say or there will be _dire_ consequences.” She reaches down under the counter again and places four more bottles of holy water—tap water—before them, “I will give you the first bottle for free, but that will not be enough to cleanse yourself.”

Dorothea nods, completely enamored with the women’s words, “Yes, we’ll take as much as we can get.” She’s already opening up her wallet to take out her credit card, “How much will that be?”

“$250.” The woman answers, her face unwavering.

Edelgard tries to stop Dorothea, but the girl is already handing over her card. She smacks her forehead as she grabs the hefty amount of “holy water” they just purchased. The girls thank the woman for her sound wisdom, even though Edelgard feels like they just got ripped off. Byleth walks past her, as they exit the store and tells her—you did—before following the other girls out of the store.

The woman watches the retreating figures of those four hapless souls traversing out into the night. So, she had told a _little_ fib about the properties of that holy water she had sold them. _What_? Everyone had to make a profit somehow. This was a business not a charity. She glances at the clock and smiles, removing her keys from her belt and goes to lock the front door. Besides, she wanted to get them out of there as soon as possible. She had a date with her _own_ demon that night.

—

The girls sit in a circle in the darkness of Edelgard’s living room and light four votive candles in the directions of north, east, south, and west. They all join their hands together. Bernadetta has her eyes closed through the entire thing, she was sick of playing with demons already. Petra is excited for the chance at playing the “bored” game again. Dorothea looks at Edelgard and squeezes her hand—don’t worry, Eddy. We’re going to rid you of this big, bad demon. Edelgard smiles, she thanks her friends for the support. Somewhere, from behind the couch, Byleth yawns. Wake her up when the dramatics are over.

“Oh, Supreme Demon Lord of Horribleness, Byleth. We open this channel again so that we might close it and rid ourselves of your demonic presence.” Dorothea has no idea what she’s doing. Improvising. Those acting skills were coming in handy right now, Professor Manuela would be proud.

Byleth gets to her feet, walks over to Edelgard, and sits cross-legged next to her, “Okay, okay. I’m here to join the party. Tell her to ask me something.”

“Maybe… we should ask it something?” Edelgard suggests.

“Uhm…” Dorothea looks around at the other girls and then closes her eyes, “Will you leave Eddy alone?”

Byleth taps her chin and then leans forward, the belts on her leather jacket jingling as she does. She starts moving the planchette slowly—P—E—N…

“What’s it spelling?” Dorothea asks, hearing the small wood moving around.

Edelgard inhales sharply and sighs at Byleth’s childishness. “It’s spelling penis.”

“This demon is a weirdo.” Dorothea mutters.

“Damn straight.” Byleth replies, reclining back and sitting on the ground again. “Tell them to ask me something else, this is fun.”

“Uhm… um…” Bernadetta stutters, her hands are shaking. Dorothea squeezes her hand as if to tell her to calm down, “Will you … will you possess any of us… if …w…wha… wheee…”

“Jeez, stop stuttering and get it out.” Byleth sighs, “I’m not _that_ scary.”

“Come on, Bernadetta. You can do it.” Edelgard encourages her, ignoring Byleth once again.

Bernadetta swallows hard and clears her throat, “Will you. Possess us. If we. Get rid of the board?”

Byleth looks at Edelgard and then leans forward to move the planchette. She starts zigzagging it all over the board in absolute nonsense, hitting letters in random order. She leaves the planchette on _0_ , and leans back with her arms crossed, “How’s that for an answer?”

Edelgard can feel a vein in her forehead pop, _“You’re an absolute idiot_.” Byleth chuckles in response.

“What was _that?_ ” Dorothea asks, “Is the demon okay? Can you hear anything, Eddy?”

“Nothing at all.” Edelgard replies, closing her eyes and sighing as Byleth has started to make spooky ghost noises at her and wave her fingers.

Petra shrugs, “Perhaps it is drunk?”

“Nah, but tell her I wish I was. You guys are _boring_ me right now. Ask me something good.” Byleth replies as she careens onto her back to lie on the floor.

Edelgard sighs, “Will you shut up?” She asks the board, but her eyes seem to be pointed in Byleth’s direction.

Byleth rolls over, gets up, and pushes the planchette. _No_.

“Okay, enough of this.” Dorothea sighs, “Oh, great, horrible, Byleth. We are closing this connection to you and send you _back_ to where you belong. On the count of three, we all say, goodbye, okay?”

The girl’s all nod in unison and shake their hands, “Goodbye.”

Edelgard looks at Byleth, expecting the demon to do something. Byleth leans forward to move the planchette to _Goodbye_ , looks at Edelgard and smiles. She presses a hand to her lips and blows her a kiss. The candles go out in unison and the girl’s all scream as the room descends into absolute darkness. Edelgard gets to her feet, runs over to the nearest light switch and turns it on.

Byleth, is _gone_.

—

They catch a rideshare to the cemetery and the dude is confused as to _why_ four pretty girls are going to such a decrepit place so late at night. Dorothea tells him that they’re witches about to hold a séance and he mutters under his breath about quitting his day job for this bullshit. He leaves them at the gates to the cemetery and speeds off into the night. They give him two stars.

Dorothea leads the girls into the cemetery in search of a plot of land to desecrate. Petra is holding onto Bernadetta’s hand while she muses about this new part of this game and Bernadetta keeps whining to her that it’s _not a game_. Edelgard is lost in thought; surprised that Byleth’s voice has been missing for so long. It’s nice. She had forgotten what silence was like.

They had ravaged Edelgard’s housing looking for something silk or velvet to put the board in. The best thing they could come up with was … a discarded Coach dust cover bag they found at the top of her closet. It was silk… she supposes? She doesn’t know. The material was good enough and they didn’t have many other choices at this time of night. All the stores were closing or closed anyway. She wanted to be _done_ with this already.

Dorothea holds her arm up and the girl’s all gather around her and come to a stop. This was the spot. She turns to the other girls, ready to be done with this Ouija board mess, “You guys ready? Petra, please start digging here.”

Petra drops to her knees and pulls a … gardening shovel out of her handbag. She starts making a deep enough plot for the board and stands back, “Will this do?”

“Excellent. What’s next?”

“The pla—planchette.” Bernadetta comes forward and drops the wood into the ground. She covers her face with her hands and closes her eyes. _Please_ don’t let any zombies or ghosts attack them while they’re doing this.

Edelgard comes forward and kneels down to place the bag with the board in it into the ground, “Okay. Dorothea. Seal it.”

They all start kicking dirt over the offending Ouija board and said goodbye to their short foray into the dark arts. Dorothea pours a generous helping of salt around the pile once it had been sufficiently covered and bows her head in prayer. Edelgard glances at her and guesses she should do the same. Pray away the demons or something. She wasn't religious; she didn’t know how this thing went.

“Good riddance to cat demons.” Dorothea muttered.

“Good riddance to … to any …demon.” Bernadetta corrected her.

“Is the game over?” Petra asked, obviously not digesting any of what had happened tonight. She glances at Edelgard, “Is there still a voice? A meow?”

Edelgard closed her eyes. Nope. Nothing. Maybe it _had_ worked after all, “I think we did it, guys. _Thank_ you.”

Cheers abound, the girls all hugged each other for a job well done. They all sat on the ground for a minute to try and catch their breath. What a _night_ it had been. Edelgard was finally freed from that bothersome demon and they could continue with their life as usual.

In the shadows, however, _someone_ had different plans.

Byleth yawned as she watched the cheering girls in the distance. Okay, that was enough. She had let the girl’s have their fun with this whole destroy the Ouija board endeavor. It was time for some less than impressive, low-grade demon magic. It would probably still scare them either way, how fun. She dropped down from her perch on top of some gravestone and began walking over to the group.

Edelgard on the other hand was breathing easy for the first time in two days. Byleth was _finally_ gone. Couldn’t break the contract her, _ass_. She had just showed that demon that her petty little contract was over and no one but _Edelgard_ herself owned her soul. She leaned back into the soft, damp dirt of the cemetery and titled her head to look up at the full moon. Just her, and her friends, and … and ….

Blue hair. Red eyes. Leather jacket. A smile, fangs bared. Oh. _Fuck_.

“What was that about a _petty_ little contract?”

She hated her _fucking_ life. “Oh, fuck _me._ ” Edelgard whispered under her breath as Byleth sauntered her way over to the circle of salt behind them and stood before the burial ground of the Ouija board. Of course it hadn’t worked. How had she gotten so cocky to believe that it did? Byleth was just fucking with her as she _always was_.

“Jeez, I almost ruined my favorite pair of boots with where I teleported off to. Damn Hell fire.” Byleth said, brushing the soot off the tips of her scuffed up combat boots, “Do you know how long it takes to break these things in?”

Dorothea, oblivious to Edelgard’s distress, piped up at the worst time, “What do you guys want to do now?”

Edelgard wasn’t listening. She was too busy being horrified by Byleth who was kneeling by the burial site of the Ouija board. Byleth smiled at Dorothea, who was completely oblivious to the fact that she was there. _Scare them_ —was what she was going to do. She met Edelgard’s gaze and pointed toward the ground as if to say, _watch closely_. She stuck her hand into the ground, broke the soil, and rummaged around for something. Her grip tightened.

“ _First_ of all, why waste a perfectly good dust cover bag for an expensive handbag for this nonsense?” She gave a tug and the previously buried white; Coach dust cover bag came to the surface, the soil recoiling in displaced chunks. She sneezed at the salt that kicked up into the air. Fuck, she hated this stuff.

Bernadetta startled at the sound of something moving, but Petra and Dorothea were too busy talking. Her hands went to her mouth and she lost the inability to speak. The bag was _moving_ by itself.

“Secondly, the woman told you wrong. You’re supposed to wrap the _planchette_ in silk or velvet, not the board. The _board_ is supposed to be buried upside down in the ground. Silly girls. Fucking stuff up before you even had the chance.” Byleth rose to her feet, picking out the planchette that was stuffed underneath the bag, “The _planchette,_ is supposed to be buried seven feet away from the board. You guys really didn’t need all this salt either. It’s already consecrated ground because of the church being here. For Beelzebub’s sake, you guys are such amateurs.” Byleth swung her arm and the bag and planchette went soaring in front of the girls. Dorothea and Petra finally stopped talking when it landed by their feet.

“Oh my _god!”_ Dorothea screamed, getting to her feet. “The shit dug itself out!” She turned to Edelgard who didn’t seem to be afraid in the least, just …exasperated. “Eddy! It _didn’t_ work.”

“Of course it _didn’t_.” Byleth said, as if Dorothea could hear her. She turned to Edelgard, “Your friends aren’t the brightest. I can see how you got into this predicament in the first place.”

“This is a strange game indeed.” Petra said.

“Petra, for fucking—this isn’t a _game_.” Dorothea turned to Edelgard, “What do we do? Should we throw more salt at it?”

“No, stop with the salt. I’m tired of sneezing.” Byleth said, running a finger under her nose. “Allow me.” With a snap of her fingers, the bag went up in flames.

Bernadetta was the first one out of the cemetery, grabbing her white bunny book bag, and taking off into the night screaming. Petra muttered a, _how strange_ , under her breath, before being grabbed by Dorothea who was running out after Bernadetta. Edelgard just sighed, watching the flaming bag, and then looked to her friends who were off and running in the distance. With another heavy sigh, dejectedly, she followed after them. Byleth dismissed the flames and the bag disappeared into some nether verse or other.

“Did we do anything right tonight?” She asked Byleth as the demon followed beside her.

“Made me sneeze more than anything.” Byleth replied, sneezing again. Damn salt. “Salt doesn’t _repel_ demons. It just makes us sneeze our heads off more than anything else. Most of us are allergic.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for when you piss me off.” Edelgard mumbled as she joined up with the rest of her friends at the gate of the cemetery. She looked up at Dorothea who was looking at her with wide eyes.

“Eddy— _Eddy._ How do you feel? Are you okay?” Dorothea panted, “Do you feel any different?”

“Fine. I think that might have been the demon dying or something.” Edelgard replied, “I haven't heard anything since we left my apartment.”

“Yes, because the demon _lives_ in the board. What a brilliant liar you are.” Byleth folded her arms over her chest.

Edelgard ignored her, “Let’s head home guys. I’ve had enough for one night.”

“Me too.” Byleth muttered as the group continued their way down the street, “When are you going to do something that shows you the real flex of my might? I’m tired of setting things on fire and making things disappear and reappear. That's like, _kindergarten_ demon magic.”

“ _Well, maybe you belong in kindergarten, then.”_ Edelgard replied, not really having the wherewithal for a proper comeback.

Byleth rolled her eyes. “No, _you_.”

They came to the end of the street and the four girls, plus Byleth who tried to force her way in to make a fifth, stood around in a circle as they tried to get their bearings. Petra checked the GPS on her phone and pointed ahead of them. The nearest train station was a ten-minute walk away.

They walked on in relative silence, Dorothea engaging Petra in a conversation about _the game_ ending and that Petra needed to stop asking her questions about the next thing they were doing. Bernadetta sniffed pathetically, probably too traumatized from the events of the night. Why did she agree to this? Why were her _friends_ always dragging her into this sort of stuff? Byleth, actually quiet for once, kept glancing at Edelgard who was quietly repeating something in her head over and over again— _ignoreignoreignoreignoreignore._ How rude.

They reached the train station and said their goodbyes. Petra and Bernadetta going one way, Dorothea and Edelgard going another. Byleth sat in-between Edelgard and Dorothea on the mostly empty train, looking back and forth between the girls and wondering why they were so silent.

“Jeez, Eddy. I’m sorry for all of this nonsense.” Dorothea sighed, falling back into her seat, “We should have never messed around with any of this stuff.”

“You’re telling me.” Edelgard muttered.

“What was it like, though? What did Byleth look like?” Dorothea asks, turning to look at her friend, “Did you _see_ them?”

“Well...” Edelgard begins.

Byleth perks up, “Oh, _oh_ , tell her how pretty I am. The best damn looking—“

Edelgard doesn’t even let her finish, “Really ugly. Like a little gremlin. Short, too. And furry. Really uneven teeth. Cockeyed and talks with a lisp.”

Byleth feels a slight blow in pride, “ _Edelgard_.”

“That sounds absolutely _awful_.” Dorothea moans, “If I woke up to that… well … I don’t know how I could live with the sight of something so … so … _ugly_.”

“I wonder if she would feel the same if she woke up to Luc in her bedroom.” Byleth muses, twirling a piece of blue hair and letting it snap back into place.

“At any rate. I’m glad it’s gone. Let’s never mess with that stuff again, yeah?” Dorothea smiles.

“Agreed.” Edelgard replies, looking up at the intercom above them as the train announces her stop, “Oh. This is me. See you on Monday?”

Dorothea waves cheerfully, “Text you when I get home. Be safe, you hear. Text me when you get home, as well.”

Edelgard gets to her feet and Byleth follows after her, “Thanks again, Dorothea.”

She steps out of the train and ascends the steps out of the station and onto the busy city street. Sighing, Edelgard looks up at the moon and pauses in the brief repose of the night. What a _failure_ all of this had been. But she couldn’t tell her friends that. She would rather have them go on believing that all of the mess they did tonight had worked and Byleth…

Edelgard chances at glance at the demon that’s currently sticking her pinky into her ear to pick something out of it. That this demon, that now held dominion over her soul, was _gone_. Things were going to get weird really fast. She would just have to prepare for it.

Edelgard sighed again, God she was _fucked_.

“You’re not _that_ fucked. Like I said, there could be _worse_ demons you’re stuck with.” Byleth flicks her fingers, “Are you done with having your broody moment with the moon? I wanna get back to your place already. I’m missing the latest episode of the Kardashians. I wanna see Kourtney slapping the shit outta Kim already, bitch deserves it.”

“…Of course you would watch reality trash.” Edelgard mutters as she turns on her heel and starts off down the street in the direction of her apartment.

“Hey, that family has a _big_ in with the big guy downstairs.” Byleth says, “We _all_ watch it. You don’t know half the shit they’ve done to get where they are. Poor Kanye, he never had a chance.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes as Byleth prattles on about the inner workings of celebrities, their pacts with demons, and they continue off into the night.

—

Sothis twiddles her fingers and sighs. 

The queue for souls arriving into heaven had already been staggered for the last hour. Something about the processing department getting backed up, so there would be some delays. _Sorry, your Benevolence._ Oh well, no matter. She could find other things to occupy herself with.

Lucifer had finally calmed down his COVID-19 assault on the human race, which she was thankful for. The machines were getting clogged up with souls again and she was having trouble keeping up with the vetting process. She was tired of being overworked, so she had challenged him to a game of strip poker in Purgatory to stop this nonsense. This had carried on long enough; people couldn’t even go to _church_ anymore to give her praise.

She sighs, thinking of Lucifer’s reaction to her win, and her angels carrying him out after he accused her of cheating and started roaring fire in her direction. Such a good man when he used to work for her. A shame that he lost his mind when he did.

Sothis steps down off her throne and heads for the break room. Some tea would be nice right now. And where was Flayn with that news she had asked for when she clocked in this morning? The new girl was so airheaded at times.

Upon returning to the throne room, she finds Flayn, a bundle of pristine, white scrolls in her arms. She bows to Sothis, flustered and rushed, “Your … Your Grace. I apologize for my tardiness. The news as you requested.” She picks her head back up, “I … I was helping Lady Rhea with some training today. The new guardian angels. They, they…”

Sothis waves a hand as if to silence the girl, and pulls a scroll loose from Flayn’s crossed arms. They almost clatter to the floor as she ascends the throne again, sets her tea down at her side and starts reading the roll of parchment. Let’s see… new golf course opening in Zebul, Princess Diana opening a new soup kitchen—good for her—and … ah, some news on Hell?

She brings her mug of tea to her lips and her eyebrows lift in surprise, _Byleth has taken on a new charge, Edelgard von Hresvelg. Seen descending into Hell recently with the girl at her side…_ Interesting _indeed_. Did Rhea know about this?

Sothis sets her tea back down and looks at Flayn. The girl is dropping scrolls all over the throne room and muttering about getting burnt by the _hayyoth_ on her way to work _._ Sothis resists the urge to smack her forehead.

“Flayn.” Sothis calls and the girl startles.

“Yes, Your Grace?” So eager to please.

“Why …don’t you find Seteth and ask him if you can help him pick out the new cherubs that are going down to Earth tonight. I’m sure he would enjoy the help.” Sothis suggests.

Flayn smiles at her, “Oh, _yes!_ I love the cherubs. They’re so _cute_.” She bows as she turns around and almost trips over a slowly unraveling scroll. Flayn turns around as she nears the door, the scroll wrapping around her leg now, and bows again, “Good day, Your Grace!” And leaves Sothis to her calm again.

Sothis sighs, relieved for the peace and quiet, turns her attention back to the scroll that’s sprawled over her lap. She taps her finger for a minute and then she presses a buzzer on the throne. _Please, send Rhea to my quarters when she is free._ The angel receptionist on the other end gives her an affirmative reply and Sothis settles back into her throne. _Byleth, hm?_

They had matters to discuss.


	4. Satan's Court of Idiots

Byleth sits in her throne in the Chambers of Lucifer just below the Ninth Layer of Hell, fingers steepled and pressed to her lips. How much _longer_ was this meeting going to drag on for?

Her horns were starting to hurt and this cape was much too hot and making her shoulder blades sweat. Was the AC broken _again_? Ugh, she had _things_ to do. Namely harassing Edelgard. Byleth chuckled to herself, she hopes she enjoyed the rats she left in the apartment that morning. Can imagine her screaming now and complaining of how filthy and disgusting—

She’s knocked out of her musing by Belial’s whining about the _brand_ of coffee in the break room again. _Really_? His nasally voice makes her scrunch her nose up in disgust. “I just think we should go back to the previous suppliers. This current brand tastes too acidic for my sensitive teeth and—“

A thunderous slap against a podium. Oh, Paimon. Of course. Another interruption, another explosive outburst, “I **LIKE THE** COFFEE WE HAVE **HERE**. WHAT WE SHOULD REALLY BE **FOCUSING** ON IS _TEA_. WE NEED MORE TYPES OF _**TEA**_ IN THE BREAK ROOM. GOOD TEA THAT **ENCOURAGES** THE DIGESTIVE ENZYMES OF OUR **GULLETS TO PROPAGAATTTEEEE.** ” The room goes silent in the wake of his uproar. Always so damn loud.

Lucifer massages his temples and goes, “Yes. Thank you for your input. I’ll consider making some changes...” He surveys the room and looking at each of the nine Kings. His eyes fall on Byleth, she seems oddly distracted, “Is there anything else ...?”

“Uhm... yeah.” A hand in the back. Purson, chronically high. Literally. “Yo, _Luc_. Over here.”

“Yes, Purson?” Lucifer asks, hoping the stupidity of court has ceased for the day. Really? _These_ were his finest demons?

“Just wanted to let everyone know, yeah. Like, orgy party. At the _Gazebo_ on the Styx tonight. There’s gonna be like ...” He pauses, pulling the joint out of his mouth and blows a cloud of smoke in Belial’s direction. They both start coughing, “... lots and lots of sexy ladies and dudes for everyone to enjoy. So, yeah. Tell your minions, tell your slaves, all that good shit. Yeah. Come out dudes, this shit is about to be _lit._ ”

“Are clothes a necessity?” Asks Balam from in front of him. As always, he is wearing no clothing.

“Balam, my man, I _got_ you.” Purson leans in and starts laughing, “Wear whatever the fuck you want, my brother. And in your case, that means _nothing._ ”

Byleth massages her forehead. Lucifer looks like he wants to die.

“I have a question.” Ah, Asmodai, sitting next to Baal. A sane and serious demon indeed, “What of the witches that hexed the moon last month? Last I heard, the fey are in an _uproar_.”

Lucifer sighs in relief. Finally, someone with an _actual_ question. “Mab has spoken with both me and Sothis on the matter... they will receive punishment as deserved. Why, I think Vine or Zagan might be working on a solution for that now.”

Zagan coughs, putting his bottle of Johnny Walker Black under his seat, realizing he’s currently being addressed, “Huh, _what_? Who goes there?” He looks up at Lucifer and then whispers to Vine who seems to be wiping away her tears, “What’s happening, dearie?”

Vine sniffs pathetically. Always crying as usual. “The humans have tried to hex the moon. Why would anyone _do_ that?”

Zagan reclines in his throne and starts stroking his beard, “The moon? Who cares about hexing the moon! I _hexed myself_ just this morning!” He was an old demon, going senile, really. “Oh, where did I put that bottle now?”

Byleth shuts her eyes as Paimon slams his hand down on his podium again and the entire room quakes, “WE SHOULD **DEVOUR** THEM. RIP THEIR _BODIES IN HALF_ , RIGHT UP THE **SPINE**. THE TASTE OF THEIR BLOOD AND ORGANS WILL **SATIATE ANY HUNGER** OR **THIRST** OF MINE.” Another smack, “YOU SHOULD ALL LEARN THE **IMPORTANCE OF YOUR MACROS AND MICROSSSS!!!** ”

Baal sighs, addressing Lucifer, “My liege. It has already been taken care of. We are in the process of disassembling _TikTok_ as you speak.”

Lucifer nods, “Excellent. As if China needs _another_ reason to hate us.” He inhales deeply and glances at the clock. He was going to be late for his massage appointment. “That is all for today...” His gaze surveys the room and lands on Byleth who seems to be in a rush to leave her seat and head for the nearest transportation gate for the garage, “Byleth! A _word_. In my office.”

Byleth flinches and mutters _fuck me_. She had blanked out halfway into that accursed meeting and was trying to listen for Edelgard’s reactions from above. All she could make out was a _KILL IT HUBERT_ and him yelling at her to stop screaming. Ah, glorious. _Soon_. She would see her soon. She just had to deal with Luc, first. With reluctance, she turns on her heel and heads in the direction of Lucifer’s office.

Purson passes by Byleth on his way out and starts giggling, “Hahaha, what did you do _now_ , By?” He tries to hand Byleth his perpetually lit blunt, “Want a hit of this before you go in?”

“Purson, please, fuck off.” Byleth mutters as she watches the door to Lucifer’s office close.

“It’s chill, brah. Just go in there with good vibes.” He snaps in her direction, summoning a portal to walk through, “Catch you at the orgy tonight, yeah? We could use your _dual_ techniques, if you catch my drift.”

Was he referring to her ability to switch gender at will? What in the world was _wrong_ with this guy? “Yeah, sure.” She ignores him as she makes her way down the steps and descends onto the main floor. Byleth was almost to the door of Lucifer’s office when she notices that Zagan is stumbling around, wasted, trying to figure out where he is.

Zagan stumbles by her, now a bottle of Malibu Rum in his hand, “BLETH!” He calls to her, grabs hold of her cape to make himself steady, “Beteth! I can’t seem to find my way. The hex. How it confuses me.” The hex was the alcohol.

Byleth sighs, snaps a piece of chalk into existence and goes about drawing Zagan’s sigil on the floor. “Come on old man.” She holds out a hand and he grasps it, slowly descending halfway into the magic circle.

He hiccups, his eyes lowering their gaze to her chest which was now on full display as she leaned over. “Thank you Bitleth, you always were such a lovely cross dresser.”

Byleth blinks and lets go of the steady hand she has given to Zagan and lets him tumble through the sigil to the other side. She hears the sounds of the bottle hitting something _hard_ and shattering. The nerve of these fucking _demons._

Standing up, she swipes her foot across the sigil, smearing the chalk and canceling the connection to the other side. She finally approaches Lucifer’s door. Baal and Asmodai are conversing about some war in the Middle East, but don’t bother her as she knocks on door.

“Come in, Byleth.”

She takes a deep breath and pokes her head in, “You ... wanted to see me, Luc?”

Lucifer turns around from gazing at the grand window before him. A wonderful view of the River Styx with souls being tortured in all sorts of horrible ways on the other side, “…Yes, yes. Have a seat, please.” He sits down as well. “How _are_ you? Just checking in, you know. How’s work?”

“Fine.” Byleth relaxes in the seat, “Just got through another stack of back taxes on soul keeping today. Keeps the minions happy, I’m good, too.”

Lucifer puts a pair of glasses on as he picks up a paper on his desk, “Right, right ...” He nods his head, “You were quiet today during the meeting.”

“Couldn’t really get a word in with all of Paimon’s screaming.” She replied.

“I’ll... speak with him about volume control.” Lucifer assured her, “Listen, Byleth. I see recently that you’ve entered into another blood oath...”

“Yeah...” Byleth cocks her head, “Is ... that a _problem_? I thought you’d be down for that. Another mortal soul to claim for _damnation_ and all that.”

Lucifer nods, looking down at the paper again, “It’s just that... _this_ one...” He trails off and looks back at Byleth, “...Just... be _careful,_ okay? I would hate to lose one my best men to something we could have prevented in the first place.”

“You worry too much.” Byleth says.

“My therapist calls it _showing concern for others_.” Lucifer corrects her, “Apparently it will help with my leadership skills around here.”

“How’s that going by the way?” Byleth asks, “You look good. Lose some weight recently?”

Lucifer gives her an excited turn to the side, “I’ve lost _five_ pounds. I must say this therapy and going vegan thing has done _wonders_ for my temper _and_ waistline.”

Byleth glances sideways at the door, “ _Really?_ That’s great, Luc.”

Lucifer shuffles the papers on his desk and clears his throat, “Yes. Well. That will be all. Do use discretion in your current … _dealings_ , will you?”

Byleth nods and gives him a polite bow, descending halfway at the waist, “Yes, My Liege.”

Lucifer waves his hand, “No, no, _no._ Byleth, you know we’re beyond those frivolous titles and pomp. Just Lucifer, please.”

Byleth smirks, “Just fucking with ya, Luc.”

“As always.” Lucifer waves her out of the door, “As you were. Send Baal and Asmodai in will you? We need to discuss war strategies for our next waves of insurgence.”

Ah, Byleth was somewhat glad she had been relegated to the role of mathematician for the time being. While she enjoyed tactics and planning the flow of battle, war was annoying. Too many people had too many ideas about which would be the best course of destruction, always arguing—Lucifer always had the final say in everything anyway. What was the point if she couldn’t cause mayhem on her own terms?

Byleth pushes the heavy door open and gestures for the two men to get their asses in the office already. She heaves a heavy sigh into the mostly empty Chamber of Lucifer and makes her up the stairs and out of the double doors at the top of the room. Her horns and previous attire fade away in a cloud of smoke and she languishes in the feeling of being free again. She begins to walk into the garage, looking for vehicle. Now, what was Edelgard doing?

She’s pushing the key into the ignition of her motorcycle and starts working the helmet onto her head as she tries to garner the location of where the girl would be. Apartment? No, that’s barren. Hm… where had this girl _gone_? It was a Sunday afternoon? What would a young woman be doing on a Sunday? … _Aha_. She hears something float down from above that sounds like _breath… in and out … breath … now exhale into downward dog and_ … of course. Yoga.

She reaches into her back pocket for her phone and dials her right hand man. The bike is vibrating underneath her in preparation for departure. The phone rings twice, before a male voice answers on the other end, “Yes, Byleth?”

“Claude. I need you to put a sigil near the western end of the 9th. I’m heading up and I don’t want to have to drive through all the traffic down here.”

The loud rap music coming from the other side gets turned down, “Heading for…?”

“Enbarr of course. I’ll work out the rest.” Byleth replies, kicking the bike into gear, about to take off, “Thanks as always.”

“Sure… yeah.” Comes Claude’s lofty reply and the line goes dead.

She always did love that trickster, best damn demon she had in her arsenal. Besides herself, of course.

She grabbed the gas clutch and turned off out of the level she was parked on and headed down to the gate. The demon gate attendant let her out with a stiff and terrifying salute, trembling at the sight of her. Byleth waved in thanks to him and she was off.

She merges onto the expressway, cutting off any idiot who dare get in her way. Almost bumper-to-bumper, Byleth weaves her way between the crowds of demons on their way to work or other leisurely activities people got up to in Hell. Byleth groans, fuck, it was hot today. Where’s that sigil, Claude?

Byleth finally spots it, glowing and shiny, just before the exit for the 8th Layer of Hell. She revs the bike up, cuts off another fool who’s going too slowly. They almost start cursing her until they realize the form of the person on the bike and shirk in fear. Byleth looks over her shoulder, lifting the visor part and waves at them. They wouldn’t dare try to curse a king of Hell, now would they? She speeds off, leaving them to deal with their fear.

The bike arches up and Byleth jumps off the side of the expressway, gleeful and excited, by the prospect of _finally seeing_ Edelgard.  
  


—

Edelgard inhales softly and feels a smile come to her face.

Ah, yoga. Her one place of solace from the busy and chaotic world. What a joy for the body and mind. This morning had been a shitshow. More rats in the apartment, probably Byleth’s doing. She had found them in the kitchen, scampering around and squeaking. _Inhale_. Hubert found her cowering on one of the counters as she began shouting at him to kill the damn things. He just looked at her like she lost her mind and told her to stop screaming. _Exhale_. There was _nothing_ there. Apparently he couldn’t see them. Damn demon magic.

Edelgard takes her pigeon pose into a full split and presses down into the mat. The stretching was good. Yes, relieve all that tension. Work out the stress. Breathe. Tomorrow would start a new week and she wanted to be at her best to greet all the challenges that were bound to come her way. She opens her eyes as her instructor starts to change direction. _Please, everyone turn to the side_. She pulls herself back, rolls back up and stretches her arms up. Warrior, open up …turn to the side and …

There’s Byleth’s reflection in the mirror directly behind her.

Her hair is pulled away from her face, piled high on top of her head. Black leggings and a sports bra that does nothing for decency. Edelgard closes her eyes and inhales sharply. No, _no_. Yoga was her happy place. Demons had no place in these hallowed halls.

“Actually…” Byleth starts, leaning into a lunge and looking up to the ceiling, “…Christianity has been trying to denounce yoga for years because of its pagan roots.”

 _“I don’t care.”_ Edelgard replies, adjusting her footing.

Byleth slides her right arm down her left thigh and hooks her left hand with her right. She steps her other foot to the side and pauses in perfect precision on one leg, with her other hovering in an arch in the air, “Ever heard of kundalini? Open your chakras, Edelgard, let the serpent slither in.” Her leg lifts, straightens into the air, “Wanna let my serpent _slither_ in?”

Edelgard nearly falls out of her bird of paradise; she had been practicing that posture for _weeks_. _“PLEASE.”_

The demon, mocking her of course, takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, “Sheesh, Edelgard. You’re supposed to be focusing on your breathing right now.”

Edelgard falls out of the posture, unable to keep her balance, and takes a deep breath. This was a test. If she couldn’t focus on yoga with Byleth blathering on behind her, she wasn’t focused in her practice. She takes a deep breath, brings her arms to center, turn and … just breath, El.

“How was your morning by the way?” Byleth let’s her leg descend back down to the floor and bends over, “Enjoy the rats?”

Breathe.

“Sorry, I was a little busy. Meetings and all that junk.” Byleth places both hands on the floor, bends down into a squat and looks up, “I got here as fast as I could. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.”

Edelgard closes her eyes. Just focus on the pose.

Byleth starts to hook her legs over her arms and bends down, squeezing them to her sides. Her hips dip down as her legs lift off the ground, straight in front of her into firefly pose. She looks over at Edelgard who seems to be struggling, “Hook your legs over your shoulders more and squeeze. It might help if you try crossing your ankles first and then opening your legs.”

Was she really getting yoga instruction from a demon? But ... but, she was _kind_ of right.

Byleth’s gaze descends down from Edelgard’s hips to her ass. A devilish smile. “Your ass looks good in your yoga leggings by the way.”

Edelgard tumbles to the mat and draws her hands over her face. _“Please. For the love of God, stop interrupting my_ ** _practice_** _.”_

Byleth’s legs come around as she leans forward on her arms and balances her knees on the backs of her elbows, via the instructor’s cues. Hm, her crow pose was looking a little sloppy. She jumps back into chaturanga and presses down into the ground, “Whatever do you mean? Just trying to help.”

Edelgard rolls over and pushes herself up into a plank. Help. _Right_. They push up into downward dog, work through a number of asanas and come down into child’s pose. The instructor walks around thanking everyone for their hard work today. Go on about your day, carrying your warm and _special_ light. Byleth makes a sound like she’s about to throw up.

Edelgard gets to her feet, rolling up her mat and letting herself out of the practice room. Byleth follows after her, humming, interested in what her charge is about to do. Edelgard turns to look at the demon, “ _I’m going to the locker room and I command you to_ not _follow me.”_

“Are you trying to declare another sanctuary?” Byleth chuckles, “ _Silly_ , you only get one of those.”

Edelgard’s grip tightens on her mat and she turns away from Byleth, continuing down the hallway, “ _I thought you_ said _you couldn’t follow me when I declared a place private or off limits. I don’t need your perverted ass gawking at me whilst I shower.”_

Byleth looked her up and down, “You know I can see through your clothes, right?”

Edelgard shrieks and runs into the locker room, leaving Byleth just outside. Byleth hesitates for a minute, thinking of following her and then smiles to herself. Nah, she’ll let Edelgard have this private moment. Besides, she couldn’t see through her clothing. Demons were perverts by nature, sure. But consent was important, too. At least _Byleth_ thought so, couldn’t speak for the other less... immorally inclined folk down below.

She changes her clothing, let’s her hair down and waits for Edelgard to finish in the locker room. The girl comes waltzing our a few minutes later, long hair pulled into a wet bun, a hoodie and leggings on, her mat tucked firmly under her arm. She ignores Byleth and makes her way out into the street. The air outside is warm for early autumn in Enbarr, perfect for a leisurely stroll back home. Should she go to the store? It was her turn to cook dinner tonight... and ... why are people screaming?

Ah, Byleth. Setting fires to garbage cans. Random mayhem as always. The demon is currently perched on a lamp post, pushing her cheeks up and pouting at Edelgard, “I’m _bored._ ” She whines, “I was so excited to see you and all you can think about is shopping for food.”

Edelgard shrugs and continues on her way. Had Hubert bought more bread for them? She couldn’t remember. What of the milk? Eggs?

Byleth huffs, hopping off the lamp post and landing at Edelgard’s side. The ground beneath her seems to crack slightly from the weight of her landing. “All spoiled. There, happy? What else do you wanna know? The chicken has a week left before it spoils and there’s mold growing on half of your vegetables.”

Edelgard stops and seems to be pondering something for a minute. Then she actually _smiles_ and even Byleth is thrown off, “Why, thank you, Byleth. That was very helpful of you.”

“Helpful?” Byleth recovers her wits, “ _Helpful_? Helpful would be me slaughtering your enemies, granting you riches, any _boon_ you desire. Hell, even having sex with you would be helpful.” She begins to match Edelgard’s slow pace, “Listing the contents and quality of food in a refrigerator? That’s _asinine_.”

“Saves me a trip to the grocery store. I loathe shopping for food.” Edelgard hums happily. The people are still screaming in the background, but she’s decided that she doesn’t care. She was going to _stop_ caring.

She makes her way to the grocery store—ignoring Byleth nitpicking her choices along the way—and then heads home after a long day of doing nothing but errands. Byleth tries to do things to catch her attention after being completely ignored in the grocery store. Exploding sewer grates, knocking down a tree she walks by, picking up a _homeless_ man and carrying him down the street so it looks like he’s floating in midair. Everyone seems to be freaking out around her, but not Edelgard. She keeps on her merry way, headphones in her ears and humming happily.

Edelgard lets herself into the apartment with a sigh of relief. Hm, it’s quiet. Where has Hubert wandered off to? Edelgard closes the door with the back of her heel. Byleth comes phasing through, frowning, as the door is slammed on her face.

Byleth calls to her, Edelgard’s not paying attention to her. She’s still got her headphones on now, humming along happily to the music coming out of them, as she takes her groceries out of her bags. Byleth calls to her again, but Edelgard just walks right past her to wash her hands and ponder what she should eat. Oh, those strawberries looked _good_ right now.

Byleth blinks. Was she really _ignoring_ her? Not getting riled up by her presence? Edelgard has finished washing her strawberries and turns around just as Byleth tries to catch her attention _again._

“Mmm, these are delicious.” Edelgard states to no one but herself as she sits down on the couch and stretches out. She sets the pack of strawberries on the coffee table and pulls her phone out of her pocket. Byleth follows her into the living room and stares down at her. The screen of her phone scrolls by rapidly, she was reading the news.

Byleth leans forward, poking her face through the phone so she’s right in Edelgard’s face, “Edelgard.”

Edelgard turns on her side in response and continues her browsing. She reaches for another strawberry, “Hm… imagine that…”

“What?” Byleth asks, rounding the couch and kneeling at her side. _Look_ at me, human. What did you think you were doing?

Edelgard has started typing something to someone on a messenger app and Byleth peers at the screen. Edelgard adjusts herself so she’s upright and obscures the phone from view. She leans forward and takes another strawberry from the pack on the table. She sighs, “…Oh, Petra…”

Byleth is getting _annoyed_ now. She sits down next to Edelgard and the girl gets up off the couch right after she sinks down into the sofa, “ _Edelgard.”_ She warns her.

Edelgard walks back into the kitchen and sets her phone down on the counter. Maybe she should make some coffee? Or tea? How should she settle down and unwind for the night? She eyes the half empty bottle of wine that the girl’s had left behind from Friday night. “Oooh, _wine._ ”

Just as she goes to reach for the wine, it fades from view and appears in Byleth’s hand, “Do you think you can just _ignore_ me?” Byleth asks her, setting the wine bottle on the counter.

Yes, Edelgard _thinks_ she can. “Oh, well. Guess I’ll just have some tea.” Edelgard leans forward and reaches up for a mug in the cabinet and sets it down on the counter. She’s about to reach for the box of bergamot on the counter when she looks down and realizes that there’s … water at her feet? She feels a tiny bit of panic begin to set in, but doesn’t let it show.

“I’ll give you a warning.” Byleth’s voice dips down into something departing from her usual timbre. There’s … something more demonic about this register.

“I’m not _afraid_ of you, Byleth.” Edelgard rolls her eyes. What was she going to do? Get her socks wet?

That does it. “You _should_ be.” Byleth continues.

Edelgard looks down at the water, now gathering at her ankles and then up at Byleth. She had had _enough_ of these threats, “And just what are you going to do?”

Byleth looks at her, amazed at the continuance of her defiance, “You’re scared of the water, _right_?”

The cabinets above her all slam open and a rush of salty ocean water comes pouring out at full force. Edelgard throws her hands up over her head as a wave comes crashing down over her head. That tiny bit of panic now sets in full force and she looks at Byleth who is staring her down as if saying silently to her, _submit_.

Edelgard starts coughing and sputtering as she loses her footing and the water has started to carry her up away from the floor. She just _had_ to piss off her demon, didn’t she? Well Byleth _pissed_ her off all the time. Why couldn’t she do the same?

She coughs, inhaling a mouthful of seawater and her eyes grow wide as she flails again in the water. She can’t _swim_. And something is holding her to the spot so that she can’t move. Oh, fuck. She was going to _drown_. Byleth was going to kill her for insolence and now she was going to Hell. Wasn’t that violating the rules of the contract?

“By…” Edelgard smacked a hand down into the water, kicking at nothing, “Byleth! _Stop_.”

“You can’t swim, right?” Byleth continues in that same voice as before, “ _Afraid_ of drowning?”

Edelgard finds herself fully submerged beneath the water at that point, Byleth still rooted to her spot in the archway of the kitchen, staring up at her with those glowing red eyes from before. She blinks, once, twice. She can’t breathe. Oh, God. She’s going to die. Why did she think she could _trust_ the demon to keep her word? Of course she was going to kill her. Demons _never_ kept their word. She screams in her head, Byleth— _BYLETH_.

 _ **Submit**_.

Edelgard closes her eyes. Distantly, she remembers being a child and clutching on to the arms of her uncle. Why are they ocean in their _clothing_? Shouldn’t they be wearing bathing suits? Volkhard wades her into the sea, a deep ocean blue that no one has dominion over. _Relax, Edelgard._ For some reason she doesn’t trust his words. She _never_ has.

Her small hands grasp at his arms and she shakes her head in desperation. _Don’t let me_ go. She remembers the sneer on his face, the sheer joy he held at her fear. Such a pitiful child. The waves crash higher and almost slap her right in the face. She turns her face into her uncle’s shirt for protection; she’s always hated how he’s smelled. Cigarettes and booze, ugh.

Volkhard toys with her, releases his grip on her to pretend as if he’s going to let her go. Edelgard screams and kicks at the water, trying to reach back for him. She hates him, but he’s the only thing solid in the waves that grab and pull at her tiny feet. How could her father allow such a man to be alone with her when he did _things_ like this to her that horrified her?

He pulls Edelgard up out of the water and for a second, she thinks that he’s done toying with her. _Ready? Better hold your breath._ She only has one moment to think before he dunks her down into the ocean and Edelgard’s screams are drowned out by the sound of rushing, salty water flooding her mouth. She thrashes underneath the sea and he pulls her back up, laughing. _What are you doing? Don’t you know how to swim?_ No. Not since that incident back at her father’s manor when she almost drowned in the pool. And he _knows_ that. That’s why he’s doing this now.

He doesn’t stop, finding new and terrifying ways to scare her. Letting her go, dragging her around by one hand in the water, pushing her underneath the sea. She nearly chokes on her vomit when he finally has had enough of her wails and brings her back to shore, carelessly depositing her on the rough, course sand. In the distance she can hear him yelling to someone, something about his niece almost _drowning_ and rushing in to save her. Someone, anyone, _help._

Edelgard coughs, and closes her eyes, willing herself to suffer no more of this Hell.

—

Edelgard wakes up to someone stroking the side of her head. Massaging her head. That feels _nice_. They thread their fingers through her hair, loosing the stray knots and let it fall back into place. A soft pat on the side of her face, the person realizes she’s awake.

“ _Please_ don’t make me have to use that type of power on you again.” Byleth’s voice from above, calm and normal again. She runs a finger down Edelgard’s cheek, “I don’t particularly like _abusing_ my charges.”

Edelgard blinks, trying to register what happened before. Finally gaining the resolve to ignore Byleth’s incessant chatter, pretending like the demon didn’t exist… Byleth getting pissed off and _drowning_ her. She pushes herself out of the demon’s embrace and jerks back to the other side of the couch, “You _fucking_ tried to _kill_ me.”

“Calm down, it was just an illusion. Your panic is what caused you to pass out.” Byleth explains again in the same calm register, “For the hundredth time, I’m _not_ going to kill you.”

“Why would you _do_ that?” Edelgard moans, hoping Hubert wasn’t home again to hear her talking to the air again.

“To teach you a lesson? I don’t like being ignored.” Byleth replies, turning to look at her, “ _Especially_ not by the person that summoned me in oath.”

“Well you talk so _damn_ much.” Edelgard seethes, looking up at Byleth with the same cute glare she thought was intimidating, “How did you … how do you even know…?”

“It was in your file that you can’t swim. No other notes for me to go on really.” Byleth replies, “So logically ... you can’t swim, plus … water… what other way to bend you into submission than unleashing your greatest fear on you?”

“Please don’t do that again.” Edelgard pleads, “Please. _Never_ again. I beg of you.”

“Are you going to stop being so rude, then?” Byleth asks, “I told you before, I _don’t_ like being ignored.”

“Yes.” Edelgard answers, not evening wanting to fight with Byleth at this point, “Whatever. I don’t care. Talk incessantly, I’ll pretend to indulge you.” _Just don’t do that again._

Fear was a funny thing. Byleth knew what it could do to humans, having their greatest horrors reenacted before them. Making them grumble and moan in the face of everything they hated in the world. She had to know, it was her _job_. How else was she supposed to deal with an unruly charge when they got uppity with her. Or, in Edelgard’s case, straight up _ignored_ her. She glances up at the girl who’s now retreated to her room and closed the door. Oh, dammit. Fuck getting lost in her thoughts; she wanted to talk some more.

Byleth gets up from the couch and knocks on the door. “Edelgard?” Maybe if she asked _nicely,_ she would finally be allowed in.

“Please, go _away_ , Byleth.” Muffled, sounding like she was fighting back tears.

Something about that tone of voice… actually makes Byleth wonder if she had gone to _far_? She crouches down on her knees, leans over and tries to peer underneath the gap of Edelgard’s door, “…Are you crying in there?”

A hiccup and something thuds against the door, “I said _go away_.”

Byleth rose to her feet and crossed her arms. This was getting her nowhere fast, she would just have to wait until Edelgard had calmed down and came back out. Relegating herself to finding her own source of entertainment, she rounds back around to the couch, collapses into it and kicks her feet up on the coffee table.

The front door opens. Ah, Hubert is back. He calls out to Edelgard as he walks into the living room. Byleth watches him silently as he gets no response, walks right past her and goes to knock on Edelgard’s room. She answers with a somber, _yes_ , and he takes a minute to register her tone and asks if she’s all right. Edelgard takes a minute; _I’m fine, just not feeling well._

Hubert shrugs and takes that as all the answer he needs before heading into the kitchen. Ah, Edelgard bought groceries, _splendid_. For all her oddities, the girl was a good roommate indeed. He pulls a beer out of the fridge and walks back to his room, muttering to himself about the chill in the room, and his door closes. Byleth is left there, in silence. So much for entertainment.

She flops over and makes a mental note to have Claude pull more of Edelgard’s files when she gets back to Hell. She might even have to go through Lucifer to get them, though … even she wasn’t allowed access to some classified information. What could have _possibly_ made her charge react in such a way? Fear, _sure_ , of course. But, that’s not the whole story. Or at least, that’s what Byleth thinks.

Something chirps on her hip and she sighs, _what now?_ She pulls her phone into view to check the message. Oh, Purson—it’s a picture. Succubus’ in a hot tub and Purson with his pierced tongue hanging out and a hand on one of their asses. _You coming, By?_

She looks at the phone, presses the call button and puts it to her ear. Purson picks up before it can even ring, “Byleth!” He yells into the phone, “Where _are_ you, man?”

“Wrapping up some loose ends.” Byleth replies, eyes darting to Edelgard’s room. She knew the girl was listening, “I’ll be there soon.”

“Hurry up before—“ Purson is cut off by a voice screaming in the background.

Paimon, drunk. “TELL BYLETH TO GET DOWN HERE AND **FUCK THESE BITCHES**. **THEY ARE ALL WAITING FOR HIMMMMMMM** …” Something clatters to the ground and a large whoop emits from the background.

Byleth sighs. She’s not really in the mood to fuck bitches right now, but it might cheer her up, “Tell Paimon I’m coming.” She stands, hand ready to open a portal to Hell. She really needs to put her sigil somewhere in this apartment for easier access. Inter-dimensional travel was _exhausting_.

“Ha, not yet, but you soon _will_ be, man. Jizzing your fucking brains out!” Purson starts laughing, “Oh, yeah. Dude form, brah. No lady business tonight.”

“Right.” Byleth replies again, just as disinterested as before, “I’ll be there soon.”

Purson lets out another loud whoop and the line goes dead. Byleth pockets her phone and pushes her hands together in concentration. She thinks she hears the door click behind her and turns around just to see a small bit of white hair escape from the crevice.

Byleth’s last vision before falling forward into Hell is that of Edelgard, glaring at her from the doorway of her room. There’s a look resembling _hurt_ and _betrayal_ in those pale lavender eyes of hers.

 _Shit_. She was in the dog house, wasn’t she?


	5. Paparazzi From Above

“She _hates_ me.” Byleth murmured, her chin on the counter of the bar. A hiccup. A burp. She was drunk.

“She doesn’t  _ hate _ you, Byleth.” Claude rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his beer. “She’s just upset. I would be too if my demon familiar decided to try and magically  _ drown  _ me when I’m deathly afraid of water.”

“She  _ pissed  _ me off, I let my temper get the best of me.” Byleth muttered, “I  _know_. I’m a demon. I should be above such stupidity.”

Claude nods, somewhat sympathetically, “Why don’t you just … you know,  _apologize_? I know our type is borderline incapable of doing that, but.”

“Don’t you think I’ve  _ thought  _ about that? Why do you think I’ve spent so much time brooding around here as of late?” Byleth casts her eyes skyward, wincing at the thought of going back to Edelgard, “She’s been …  _sad_. I can feel it. I don’t want to go back to  _that_.”

Claude’s eyes wander in thought. It always comes back to one thing, “Why don’t you surprise her with a night of never ending orgasms? Do that thing you do with your … _you know_.” He waves his hand around, “I’m sure that’ll make her come around. Literally. Human women  love  someone with knowledge of how to pull that ever elusive climax out of them.”

Byleth slams a fist on the table and massages her face in frustration, “Claude, my _love_. My best demon friend. I love you as much as a demon can love  anyone and want to thank you for putting up with the mess I’ve been as of late...” Her expression drops again, “But we’ve  barely gone _three_ weeks into our demon and human client relationship. Isn’t that … too  _soon_?”

“But… you  _want_ to fuck her, right?” Claude reminded Byleth.

“Of  _course,_ I want to fuck her eventually. I’m a  _demon_ , Claude. Fucking over and fucking humans is kind of our kink, you know? Comes along with the whole territory of giving them anything they want when they make these pacts with us.” Byleth reminded him, “The difference between me and all these other idiots is that I warm my prey  up  first. Get them nice and lubricated. In mind and body.”

“Right. Why do you care so much anyway?” Claude asks, eyebrows rising, “As a king of Hell, I thought you were supposed to relish in destroying the lives of humans.”

“Because she’s my  _charge._ It’s different, Claude.” Byleth replied, “Besides, I like to think I’m different from the usual … basic garbage … that occupies this place.” 

Byleth chances a glance over her shoulder at some of said basic garbage that are currently occupying the bar. She can hear Paimon roaring at Vine about her insolence in regards to the game of  _Go_ that the two of them are playing in the corner. He smacks the board off the table in anger, the pieces go flying everywhere. Vine covers her face and  wails. Did the tears ever stop? 

Claude chuckles at their stupidity and turns back to Byleth. “Okay, then. Why don’t you focus on other things? Like giving her what she summoned you for?”

Byleth throws her hands out in exasperation, “That’s the  thing!  I was summoned because she got some big dick energy while playing around with a Ouija board with her stupid friends. There was no purpose for summoning me. They thought I was a fucking  _cat._ The least fearsome thing in the whole demonology book written by some stupid human.” She slams her drink down on the counter for added emphasis, and the demon currently tending the bar sets off to make Byleth another cocktail in a hurry.

“So... why don’t you try and figure it out? What is she? Twenty-six? Didn’t you say she was in graduate school? For art ... or something?”

“Art history.” Byleth corrected him, “She’s an aspiring artist. I think her notes said that she wants to be a curator or some nonsense.”

“So, why don’t you make her famous or something?” Claude suggests, “Push some buzz her way and let the stupid humans do the rest.”

“I don’t think she wants that. She’s kind of a low key type of girl.” Byleth snatches the drink from the bartender and hisses at him. He cowers in fear. She throws it down in one gulp and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, “I think … maybe I should just follow her around for awhile. Take notes on her day to day, you know. That sort of thing.”

“Be a voyeur of sorts?”

Byleth leans back in her chair and smiles languidly. The alcohol was really getting to her now, “While I would  love to see her do the entire thing in the nude,  _no._ That won’t work. I’ve held off on those sorts of temptations. I want to work my way up to the big finale, you know?”

“Byleth, you’re such a weirdo.”

She nods in agreement, “I know.” 

“So… when are you going to put this grand plan of yours into action?” Claude glances at the grand clock designated for Earth with its tinier clocks indicating time zones around the world. It  always  feels like the same time in Hell. “She’s ... where is she again?”

“Enbarr.” Byleth replies, “This little big city off the northeast coast of America.” 

“Little… big city.” Claude raises an eyebrow in question.

“Not really a New York, but not really a … smaller city?” Byleth shrugs, “It’s big enough for a train system, so, little big city.” 

“Sounds charming.” 

“No, it’s just ... a city.” Byleth slumps over the counter, “Am I am idiot?”

Claude shakes his head, “Of course not. You’re a  king  of Hell.”

“Way to avoid answering a question.” Byleth runs a hand through her hair, “A little business talk before I relinquish you from your drinking buddy duties.”

“Yes?”

“Were you able to find anything in her files for me regarding her fear of water?” Byleth asked.

Claude takes a sip of his beer, “Not much. Drowning incident at her father’s place or something. Happened when she was really young, so I assume she’s avoided water ever since then. Anything else was redacted, classified stuff. Probably gonna have to go to the Hall of Memories in Purgatory for that one. Good luck trying to get in there, though.” He leans forward, tilts his head to the side, “Why don’t you just ask her?”

Byleth dropped her chin back to the bar and closed her eyes, her previous thought pattern returning to mind. “Because she  _hates_ meeeee.” Or maybe it was just the alcohol again.

Claude sighed, “Let’s get you out of here. I think you’ve had enough for now.”

—

Byleth rubs her hands together and waits.

She had ascended—tumbled really, why did she think putting the sigil in the _hallway closet_ was a  good  idea—into Edelgard’s apartment at the crack of dawn, searching for any signs of life. She covered her eyes at the sight of Hubert, peeing in the bathroom with the door open.  Seriously? He had given pause, turned around to look over his shoulder at the racket in the closet, but shrugged his shoulders. Probably still waking up.

Edelgard’s bedroom door was still closed when Byleth pressed her ear up against it to listen. Still sleeping, she didn’t have class until 10AM. Plenty of time to wait and bide her time. Byleth had watched Hubert sleepily shuffle around the apartment before departing for …wherever Hubert went. She would have to check his files when she got back to Hell. This guy was  _never_ home.

After he left, she checked the clock.  8:30AM . Edelgard would be up soon, she would have to be quick. Toast the bread, fry the eggs… does she want bacon? Yeah, sure, fuck it. Add that too. Byleth had a fresh pot of coffee brewing by 8:55AM, waiting in slight trepidation for that door to open.

How should she do this? Stand there with the coffee cup in hand, resting her hand casually against the counter, acting suave?  _Why, hello, Edelgard._ No, that was stupid. She turns her head and raises an eyebrow. Hide in a cabinet? What if she hides Edelgard’s bergamot tea and then pops out with it in hand? No, ridiculous. Byleth sips her coffee in thought, pondering just what antics would both set the mood today… and not infuriate her somewhat temperamental charge. She looks at the plate of toast, eggs and bacon that’s waiting for Edelgard on the counter and sighs. The food is getting  _cold_ , what’s taking her so long?

“Byleth.”   
  
Oh. God, _dammit_. There goes her chance to make an entrance. Byleth turns around, prepared to say something humorous. Her introduction for the morning is dropping her coffee mug and shattering it on the floor, splattering coffee all over her boots.

“Your  _hair_.”

Edelgard stares at the demon and then the spilt coffee slowly spreading on the floor from the shattered mug. Looks like she was surprising the demon for once. She pulls a strand out to observe it and shrugs. Was something  _wrong_? She steps over the mess on the floor and reaches for the coffee pot to pour herself a cup. Takes a sip. “Hm. This is good.”

“ _Edelgard_.” Byleth tried again, grabbing at her own hair for added emphasis, “Your _hair_. It  changed  _color_.”

“ _What_?” Edelgard asks her, looking slightly irritated, “I dyed it back.”

“ _Dyed_?” Byleth questions again, “You mean the fair and ghostly complexion thing wasn’t natural?”

“ _No_.” Edelgard answers, almost downing her coffee in one sip, “Brown is my natural color. I was trying something new.”

“ _Oh_.” Byleth feels like an idiot, coughs and regains her composure. She whips around and holds the plate of food out as the beginning of her peace offering, “At… any rate. Look. I made you  _breakfast_.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“Hm.” Edelgard looks down at the plate and then eyes the clock, “Don’t have time. Need to get ready.” She puts the coffee mug in the sink, hops over the spilled coffee and pauses at the archway of the kitchen, “Thanks … for the coffee.”

Byleth is stills standing there with her plate of food and sighs. Okay. We’ll just … be  _nice_ and maybe pack this up for her to  go.  A snack for if she gets hungry or something at school. Yeah, that’s what we’ll do. Solid plan, Byleth. She sets to work, turning the previous toast, egg, and bacon into a … toasted egg and bacon sandwich. Such a genius, this king of Hell.

Byleth sits in the living room, the sandwich thrown into a small tin lunch box, and twiddles her thumbs as she listens to Edelgard get ready in her room. She’s playing music, something soft and classical.  _Okay._ Alittle ethereal for Byleth’s tastes but she could deal. Edelgard comes out of her room, hair pulled away from her face in a ponytail, and wearing oversized, paint splattered overalls and a puffy red sweater. Byleth makes an attempt to say something, but Edelgard goes right back in as quickly as she came. She chances a glance at the clock.  9:25AM.  Weren’t they cutting it a little close on time? Should she … _stop_ time? Turn back the clock?

The music stops and the door swings back open. There’s Edelgard—thick, face obscuring scarf, headphones in her ears, book bag. Okay, looks like we were ready to leave. Edelgard doesn’t even bother to tell Byleth to follow her as she rushes by, pulling a stack of papers off one of the tables in the living room and shoving them in her bag. As she kneels down to tie her shoes at the door, she checks her watch.  Shit,  she wasn’t going to make this train was she? Byleth just smiles as she follows Edelgard out of the apartment. Don’t worry,  we _will_.

It’s a crisp, autumn morning and the usual crowds have started to gather on the street. People on their way to their usual destinations. Work, school, sordid love affairs. Byleth tries to rein in her boredom and just focus on making sure  Edelgard’s morning goes well. Today, she was playing the  _nice_ demon. Time to kiss and make up with her human … well, she’s pretty sure Edelgard would slap her if she tried to kiss her. Or beat her with the frying pan. Or something.

The train is about to leave the platform as they descend the stairs into the station and Edelgard is running for the doors at they begin to close. But, they don’t. The side of the metal doors kind of …  crunches  in and Edelgard just … sort of stands there watching Byleth hold the doors open for her. The train’s engine is making sounds like its about to short circuit. Did she _break_ the train?

“After you.” Byleth says, bowing slightly and gesturing for Edelgard to get on board, “We have a class to make, don’t we?”

_“ Yes…” _ Edelgard mutters inside her head,  _“Did you have to physically assault the train in the process? Can’t you just hold it in place or something with your voodoo demon powers?”_

“Hm, this was more practical.” Byleth releases her hold on the train and there’s an  imprint  of her hand around the crunched in metal. The doors seem to be having a hard time closing. Byleth bangs on the side of the train so hard, the car physically shakes and the passengers let out a collective— _whoa_.  It sputters back to life and they’re off again. “There we go.”

Edelgard merely raises her eyebrows and sets off down the aisle in search of a seat. The train is packed with the morning rush. She shrugs her shoulders, grabbing a pole and looking up at the train map ahead of her. She could stand until it was time to get off at her stop, that was  fine. But she wanted to get some reading in and …

Byleth, noticing Edelgard wistfully looking for a seat, takes it upon herself to look for one. In the least violent manner possible, of course. She spots a woman who’s thrown all her stuff into the seat next to her, a very empty looking book bag, and has her feet propped up on the empty seat across from her. Her coat is dangling out into the aisle from the seat next to the one she’s got her seat in. The audacity,  all  _four_ seats? And no one is going to say anything?  _Perfect_. Byleth takes it upon herself to  move  the woman’s shit out the way, tossing the book bag in her face, as well as the coat, and kicking at her legs to get them down. Freaked out that her book bag just assaulted her, the woman springs up startled and starts glancing about her.  _Who_ did that?

Edelgard, unaware of this current fiasco, simply turns around when Byleth taps her shoulder and gestures rather sweetly—fangs and all—to the empty booth. She sees a woman running from the area, into the next train car and shrugs. Whatever. She’s not even going to ask.

“You wanted to  read  right?” Byleth asks her as she takes a seat opposite Edelgard. No one probably wants the possessed corner, anyway.

Edelgard looks at her and shrugs again.  _“I suppose I can.”_ Why was the demon being so nice to her today? She opens her book bag and pulls out a book on …  _The History of Monet and Impressionist Paintings._ Of course, art stuff. She pushes a strand of hair behind her ear and settles in for the remainder of the ride.

They arrive at the university and Byleth feels a twinge of nostalgia hit her. It’s been awhile since she’s been on a campus. Not since that freaky incident with those sorority girls out in California, at least. She chuckles to herself. Edelgard looks at her like— _what’s so funny?_ —but Byleth waves her question away. Let’s focus on  you,  Edelgard.

They wind their way around the maze of the university and Edelgard heads for the art department building. She arrives in a tiny little classroom and sits down, the first one there. Byleth occupies herself with observing the posters plastered on the bulletin board by the front of the room.  _Come join the LARPERs in the quad on Mondays while we reenact live battles from…_ She grimaces. Live action role playing, _gross_. Edelgard’s sighs of distress are what catch her attention and she turns, eager … to  _help._

“Fuck … _fuck_.” She grasps her hair, “I forgot my fucking textbook on the god damn …”

Byleth waves her hand around and—presto,  _magic_ —she walks over to Edelgard, textbook in hand, “You mean  _this_?”

Edelgard just stares at her, muttering a word of thanks under her breath. Byleth takes a seat in one of the vacant seats. Other students start piling in and make idle chitchat with one another, then the professor shows. The lecture is tiny, probably six students max. This  _was_ art history after all. 

Byleth yawns, curling over on the desk. God, all of this stupid talk about Monet and Van Gogh was so ... _so_...Byleth falls asleep and they’re barely halfway into the lecture.  Edelgard, who was previously so focused on her professor talking, has to stifle a smile at the sound of a certain  scary  demon snoring. How could a demon look so innocent? ... Awww, she’s  _drooling_ —but she’s tired of hearing her snoring. Edelgard kicks at Byleth’s chair and the demon startled awake.  


“I’m _up_ , Luc!” Byleth shouts out and then realizes where she is. She frowns at Edelgard, the boring lecture is  still going on. “Don’t you kick my chair, you _brat_.”

 _“Stop snoring, then. I’m trying to listen to my professor.”_ Edelgard replies, not making eye contact, but takes notes on something in her book,  _“You’re distracting me.”_

Byleth has to halt her hand in retaliation of showing Edelgard a  _real_ distraction. Nope, bad Byleth, hand **down**. Put them in your lap, sit up straight. You remember you’re trying to apologize to her today, right? Yes, _good_ girl. She wishes Edelgard would pat her on the head for the sheer amount of restraint she’s showing right now. 

Byleth looks from the professor and then at Edelgard. It’s like she’s not even there. Byleth looks at the clock, sighs, and slumps in her chair. Only an hour and a half to go.

—

They’re sitting in the quad with their two free coffees—thanks to Byleth—after Edelgard’s class. Edelgard is quiet, pensive. Byleth can hear her thoughts and it’s honestly nothing interesting. Ruminating over stuff for class, about finishing the art piece for her sculpture class, paint— _boring_.  They should start talking. She takes a deep breath.

“ _So_....” Byleth begins.

Edelgard sips her coffee. “So.”

“How’s the coffee?” Byleth asks, sipping her own.

“It’s good. Thanks for getting me a free one with your little demonic voodoo.” Edelgard replies.

“It’s not little—“ Byleth pauses as she realizes Edelgard is trying hard to stifle her laughter behind her coffee cup, “Oh.  _Now_ who’s the pervert?”

“I didn’t say anything. Wasn’t thinking that either.  You  took it there.”

Byleth rolls her eyes, “Let’s get back to the actual conversation at hand.” She takes a deep breath. Byleth is no good at this apologizing thing. The fuck, demons don’t apologize. “Listen, I might have gotten a  _little_ unruly the last time you saw me.”

“Is that why you didn’t show your face like a scared child for over a week?” Edelgard, quick and to the point. “Can’t say it was all bad. I appreciated the silence.”

“Ouch, my demon pride.” Byleth clutches at her chest as if Edelgard’s words actually hurt. Well, they stung a little. “I already said I was ... the s-word.” She can’t do it. Can’t bring herself to say that accursed thing.

“I should throw salt at you as retribution.” Edelgard takes a sip of her coffee and sighs, back hitting the bench, “That was terrifying ...”

“I know.” I’m ....  _s-word_ .

“It wasn’t so much the magic... I’m used to that by now. It’s what you  did  with the magic.” Edelgard frowns, “How do you even know these things about me?”

“You’ve asked me this before, and I told you it was in your file.”

“But you never explained what this file  _is._ ”

Byleth sighs. These  humans  and needing to have _everything_ explained to them. “Everyone has a file in Heaven and Hell. Basic information gets disseminated to Lucifer and ...  _Sothis_.”  Ugh, that childish brat of a God.  _The_ God, “In real time. Like. When you’re born—poof—file created. Then everything you do, good or bad, experiences, they keep all that shit filed away for when they’re making decisions on where to send your mortal soul.”

Edelgard’s head  hurt.  “Can we break this down a little slower? Who is Sothis?”

“The Progeintor God.  _The_ God. She’s the one who started all this crap that surrounds us today.” Byleth replies.

Edelgard’s eyes lit up, “You mean... God’s a  _woman_?  Oh.” Why was she getting so excited about this?

Byleth rolls her eyes, “She’s a diminutive brat that sits on a throne all day, passing judgement on who’s  good  enough to enter her kingdom. Her lackeys aren’t much better.”

“I think you’re biased as a demon.” 

“Maybe.” Maybe not. Byleth continues, “Lucifer, my boss, is ... well, Satan as you people call him. I think you already know enough about him.”

“He’s vegan now, right?”

“Lost five pounds, too. Looks good.” Byleth snorts.

“If there’s a Heaven and Hell... what about Purgatory? That must exist too. What’s that like?”

Byleth frowns, “A weird place ... on the in-between. Nothing makes sense there, I stay far away from the damn place if I can. Sothis and Lucifer often use it as a meeting place to settle their disputes. They’re also the only ones with any real access to the place except Fate, the overseer if it all. I mean, besides all the wayward souls collected there.”

“Fate, huh?” Edelgard asks. “Wow... so everything is actually  _real_. This is ... this is amazing.”

Byleth shrugs, “The novelty wears off after awhile. Trust me. At any rate, the ...” A frown. She sniffs the air.

Edelgard looks at her, “What are you doing?”

Byleth holds out a finger as if to tell Edelgard to hold that thought. She picks up a scent in the air that smells vaguely ... _celestial_ and she’s on guard. To the ...right? She looks, sees nothing. Maybe all the energies of this place were messing with her sense of smell. Byleth frowns again, “Thought I smelled a celestial.”

“An ... angel?” Edelgard tries.

Byleth turns around, “Ding, ding, ding.”

“Well what’s so bad about one of those being around?” Edelgard asks.

“What‘s so— _ seriously _ , Edelgard?” Byleth points to herself, “Me, demon.” She points to Edelgard, “You, weak little human.” She gestures outwardly, “If an angel’s around they’re probably spying on me. Sneaky little sons of bitches.”

“What if ... they’re taking someone to heaven?” Edelgard asks.

So innocent, this one. She knew nothing about the politics between Heaven and Hell. “That’s what Death is for.”

“There’s a Death,  too?”  Edelgard’s head is starting to hurt now, “What’s he like?”

“ _She_.  A notorious gossip. Likes to skateboard. Dated Luc a couple of thousand years ago. Phew, was that break up  _ugly._ ” Byleth frowns, still somewhat perturbed by the presence from before. “Why don’t we take this conversation somewhere a little more private? Don’t you have something to look at in the library?”

Edelgard resists rolling her eyes. As if  anyone could hear them. But Byleth was right. She had some books that she had to pick up from the library that she had put on hold. She stands up and finishes her coffee. Sure, why not.

—

Byleth pities anyone who decides graduate school is a good idea. She watches Edelgard struggling with the mountain of books she’s currently lugging around to a private study area off in the corner of the second floor of the library. Byleth had offered to help carry them but Edelgard swung away and told her  no.  The last thing she needed was someone seeing her walk around with a stack of floating books at her side. Can we please keep the weirdness to a minimum today? Thank you.

As they settle into the study nook, Byleth leans forward with an elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, “So... why art history?”

Edelgard lowers her voice, “I wanted to be an artist. But my family didn’t think that was a viable or respectable enough career and refused to support me.” She pulls a book down off the top of the pile, “So I had to make my own way... and the only way anyone is going to take you seriously in this capitalist society is if you have the credentials to prove it.”

“Or know someone.” Byleth remarks, thinking back to what Claude has said, “I  could make you famous, you know. Give you a little boost in the art world.”

“ _ No. _ ” Edelgard snaps, “Absolutely not. I will not resort to using demon magic to help me with anything that I can do for myself.”

Byleth sighs, “All right, all right.” She reclines back in the chair.

Edelgard looks up at her, “Why don’t you take a look around and ... amuse yourself with something?”

Hm. Sure, okay. “Where’s the math section?”

“ _Ew_ ,  math?”

“Along with being your personal demon assistant, I’m basically like ... the head of accounting in Hell.” Byleth nods, “Book keeping, tax codes, back taxes, budgets. All that stuff.”

“Sounds ... horrendously boring.” Edelgard remarks.

Byleth smiles, “I take it you don’t like math.”

“Horrible.” Edelgard replies as she looks back at her book, “I’m not completely unfamiliar with the layout of the building ... try the third floor stacks.”

Byleth pushes the chair back and stands up. “Wonder if you humans have anything new about chaos theory...” She looks at Edelgard who is absorbed in her book, “Holler if you need me.”

Edelgard waves her off, not even looking up from her notes. Byleth wanders off to check the directory and then makes her way up to the third floor. Upon reaching the landing she frowns, sniffs the air again. There it is _again_. There’s something pure and celestial nearby, but where?

She  knew  she had smelled something strange out in the quad.  Something was following her. Sniff. No, a little more to the left. Ugh, it _reeks_. She rounds the corner and something goes— **snap** —bright lights and annoyance. Standing there in the middle of the stacks is a smiling ... child? Green curly hair and those  annoying soft green eyes of the angels. _Ugh_. What the hell was this kid  _doing?_

“Hello!” She bounces on her heels in glee.

Byleth rubs her eyes and groans. Did she just take her picture? The _fuck_? She begins walking to the child who doesn’t seem to realize the situation she’s about to find herself in. “And just what are you doing  spying on me, little angel?”

The little angel doesn’t seem to know what to do, so she bows as deeply as possible and smiles at Byleth, “Oh, _boy_.  A real king of Hell! What an  _honor_!”

Byleth blinks. Must be a new trainee. Most angels would have fled at the sight of her by now, “Yes, a  real  king who asked you a _question_.”

The angel bounces again, “I’m not  spying  on you, I’m doing reconnaissance! Lady Rhea said the difference between the two is one is what bad people, like demons, do. The other is to help people for the greater good!” She gestures to herself, “Oh, forgive me for my rudeness. I’m Flayn. I’m a new retainer of Lady Rhea. I’m just getting used to all of this. It’s so exciting!”

 _Rhea_ , _huh_?  Byleth resists the urge to growl and turns her attention back on Flayn. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Oh! Sorry, your Highness. Please do forgive my rudeness.” Flayn holds out the camera, “It’s for Lady Rhea. She says to take pictures of what you’re doing. She’s very eager to know how you are!”

“I  _see_.” Byleth chuckled to herself. This little angel was an absolute idiot wasn’t she? Just divulging all of Rhea’s information. “Just how old are you anyway, little one?”

Flayn smiles, bright and proud, “I’ll be three hundred soon!” 

Byleth whistles long and low. A child in demon and angel years. Almost a toddler. A  toddler  was spying on her. Had Rhea cracked? Was she really that hard up for help? She cracked a grin, “Well then,  _Flayn_ , why don’t I help you out some?”

“Oh boy,  _really_?” Flayn asked.

“Sure, come here. Let’s take a picture of the two of us together. For Lady Rhea, yeah?” Byleth motioned for Flayn to get under her arm, “Saaaaaay,  _fuck you_.”

**Snap**.

___

Rhea can feel her ire growing as she looks at the first picture in the stack that Flayn hands to her.  


She looks up at the dimwitted child and then back at the picture. It’s of her and Byleth. Both of them. With their middle fingers up. Flayn is smiling and Byleth looks pissed off. She turns the picture over. Sealed into the back in red, crooked writing, the words,  _**fuck you, Rhea.**_

“King Byleth told me that that’s a greeting they say in Hell!” Flayn exclaims excitedly as she points at the writing, “And the gesture we’re doing is part of it, too. Wow! Cultural exchange with a  king of Hell. I thought she would be much scarier but she was so  _nice_.”

Rhea flips through another picture. Byleth and ... this must be  Edelgard ...  sitting on a bench in the center of the quad. Can’t see Edelgard’s face, just the backside of her. Ugh, what is she  _wearing_? Human fashion was deplorable. And Byleth, that cross dressing, gender bending  fool. What an  _abomination_. 

Rhea feels queasy, _ugh_ , demons. She looks up at Flayn who’s waiting for her to respond.

“How did I do, Lady Rhea? Are those good enough?” Flayn’s eyes are wide. How she wants to choke the girl for her naivety.

“Very well, Flayn, thank you.” Forgive me, Sothis, for my insincerity with this girl. She was sure she would be forgiven—Sothis probably felt the same.

“Praise from the Immaculate One! Today just keeps getting better! ” 

“Yes, please continue to attend to the rest of your duties ... and do be careful not to touch the hayyoth this time.” Rhea nods in dismissal.

Flayn bows, “Thank you, Lady Rhea.” And she’s off, muttering to herself about all the famous people she got to meet today and learning about customs of Hell ... and Sothis, help that poor child.

Rhea turns around and sits down in her chair at her desk. She presses the number for Sothis’ assistants extension and waits to be transferred.

“Rhea.” She sounds ... annoyed.

“Moth—I mean, I’m sorry. I apologize for the interruption your Grace.” Rhea starts. 

Sothis yawns. Oh, she probably interrupted nap time. “Yes, what is it? Please make it short. I’d like to get back to my scheduled nap time before I’m back on the clock.” 

“It’s of that regrettable abomination, Byleth.” Rhea turns her attention to the picture in her hand and can feel herself shaking all over again, “I’m sending you the pictures now. Please wait a minute.” They disappear out of hands in a flourish of light and feathers and she waits with bated breath for Sothis’ reaction.

“...Hehehe.” Was that a snicker on the other line? 

“Your Grace?”

“Oh, my... _well,_ me!”  Sothis can’t contain it, she busts out laughing so hard, Rhea has to hold the phone away from her ear. Rhea’s annoyance only grows because Sothis—the God that created her—finds this so very  entertaining.  “This is _amazing_! I’m keeping this!”

“But, Your Grace...” Rhea begins.

“Look, Rhea. I just said to keep an eye on Byleth. I don’t need constant day to day paparazzi updates. Maybe like, a monthly thing at best.” Sothis replies, “Looks like she’s just enjoying time with her latest charge... seems harmless.”

“For  now.” Rhea seethes, thinking of all the nefarious things that damn demon was planning to do to that poor human’s soul.

Sothis yawns. “I’m going back to sleep. Let me know when you have something good... or another funny picture again. Goodbye, Rhea.”

“But—“ The phone goes dead and Rhea sighs long and hard. To be laughed at by the Progenitor God herself, what a dishonor. She would have to try _harder_.   


Rhea turns back to her desk and loads up her computer. She would have to know more of this _Edelgard_ if she was going to do anything about Byleth. Who was she? Why was she suddenly engaged in a dammed blood oath with this despicable demon?  


With a cup of tea clutched tightly in hand, she set to work.


	6. Of Hubert, Byleth, and Kim Kardashian

Hubert has noticed something was _off_ about Edelgard.

He thought himself a logical man, tried to rule out the explanations for her strange behavior as of late. But... sometimes logic couldn’t explain everything.

There were the full on conversations she kept having with herself when she thought she was alone in the apartment. Cups magically appearing and disappearing throughout the day. The TV turning on at exactly 8PM every Saturday night to _Keeping Up With The Kardashians_ , even when no one was _home._ What about the rat incident from a couple of weeks ago—there was nothing there. Telling something to _shut up_ over and over again?

What about that time he had come home and she had been upset? He knew the sound of her voice when she had been crying. There was something odd about the apartment that night. Even _he_ had felt the concentration of cold energy simmering around the couch... like _something_ was staring at him.

The most perplexing thing had happened just a little while ago. Hubert has been sitting in the living room, reading and enjoying a quiet night off for once, when Edelgard has started screaming and the door to the bathroom flew open like it had a mind of its own. She began throwing bottles of soap and shampoo into the hallway, whilst screaming— _GET OUT YOU PERVERT!—_ He watched it close in the same way that it had open. ...Then rummaging in the hallway closet and silence. What the _fuck_?

His first thought had been witchcraft. Preposterous, yes, but if it was, could you let a guy know before you brought that sort of crap into the place where he lived as well? He _had_ seen the girls with that Ouija board a month ago, though. Perhaps that was the start of things? When he questioned Dorothea one time when she showed up at the house, waiting for Edelgard to get back from school, she shook her head. _We haven’t messed with that stuff since the cockeyed cat demon wanted to take Eddy’s soul and we banished him back to Hell._ What in the _hell_?

His next thoughts were mental illness, which also had some validity. Edelgard was depressed, _everyone_ knew that. It was all hidden under a ruse of arrogance and perfection, but it was always there. He knew it stemmed from her less than warm and happy family... something that they never really talked about length even though they had been friends for well over a decade by now. She just says: _They were horrible to me._ Gives him an inkling of an uncle who did more things to her than she’ll probably tell anyone. Why her?

He remembers meeting Edelgard for the first time. She was fourteen, him on the verge of sixteen. Shy, quiet, artsy Edelgard. Drawing the world as she saw it. Always hiding her face behind that long hair of hers, still the same as it was in present time. Those horrendous red and black arm warmers she always wore—hiding those scars that she didn’t wish the world to see. Hubert had been no different. An angsty emo kid that was just as angsty and emo and depressed as Edelgard. Oh, the teenage angst.

They used to set fire to shit in the back of the school all the time. Detention, detention, detention. Stealing stuff at the mall. Her family _had_ money. He never understood why she would indulge him like she did. To disobey, to rebel. Yes, teenage angst.

She went to therapy in her junior year of high school, his freshman year of college. Something he was thankful for. She had started living with her mother and stepfather then... and things slowly got better. They had stayed friends through all the insanity of that early twenties chaos. Then she met Dorothea in college ... then Bernadetta, and the odd foreign girl, Petra. He thoughtr—with as much joy as Hubert would ever muster—ah, yes. She had friends now. _Girl friends._ People she could talk to about hair and clothes and female problems and whatever. _Women_. He had sex with them, but he would never completely understand them.

But, back to the previous train of thought. Mental illness, yes. Was this the early signs of schizophrenia? He thinks back to what he knows of her dysfunctional family. It could be, he supposed, there must be very strong currents of mental illness in both the von Hresvelg and von Arundel bloodlines. To produce an upbringing like the one Edelgard had, at least. He doesn’t know, he can just speculate.

They’re having dinner that Saturday night, seated in the living room and watching a nature documentary when Hubert decides to ask, he has to know. “Edelgard.”

She shoves some salad in her mouth, “Yes, Hubert?”

“Have you been ... feeling all right as of late?” He asks.

Edelgard looks at him, “Whatever do you mean?”

How should he put this? “Just … feeling _all right_? I know your schedule is hectic this semester. It would be a shame for your studies to suffer because you are not getting proper rest and sleep.”

“Oh, Hubert.” She smiles, “You worry too much.”

He sets his empty plate on the table and frowns. There it is, those damn mugs again. Why are there _three_ coffee mugs there? He glances back Edelgard, “Yet, your intake of coffee has increased exponentially in the past month or so. Are you _sure_ you’re getting enough rest?”

“Yes, Hubert. I’m sure.” Edelgard pushes some salad around on her plate, “I just … have this really bad coffee kick as of late.”

“You’ve traded it for your usual bergamot, I see.”

“Oh, no. I still drink that … its just coffee… is …” She trails off and clears her throat. The truth was, _Byleth_ had a bad coffee habit and Edelgard was finding it harder to maintain the mugs that the demon haphazardly left around the apartment. Demons were messy creatures, weren’t they?

What Hubert also doesn’t know is that in Edelgard’s world, Byleth is currently sitting in the other chair, feet hanging over the edge of the arm with tiny red demons fluttering about her. One of them is struggling underneath the stack of papers he’s carrying over to Byleth, flapping his tiny wings to stay airborne. She growls, snaps her fingers at him for his incompetence and he goes up in flames. The papers drop to the stack by her feet.

“Can you get him off your back or something?” Byleth asks, pushing her glasses back over her nose. She turns to the calculator on her phone, “I’m kind of on a deadline here and I want to get through this mess so I can catch KUWTK in like … ten minutes.”

“ _I’m trying_. _If you didn’t have those little demons fluttering about as a distraction, maybe I could focus more on ways to deter him.”_ Edelgard shoots her a look and then nods to whatever Hubert is saying to her.

Hubert narrows his eyes, “…Just _there_. Right now.”

“Yes?” Edelgard stabs a piece of greenery on her fork.

“You were talking to someone, weren’t you?” Hubert asks, arms folded over his chest, “…We don’t have to go get you evaluated again, do we? I’ll go with you if you need. Offer support where it’s needed.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, “Hubert, I’m not having psychotic episodes or whatever you think it is. I was just … looking at those mugs and making a mental note to clean them up when we’re done here.”

Hubert isn’t convinced. “Edelgard… you haven’t been dabbling in _witchcraft_ , have you?”

Byleth grabs one of the fluttering demons down by the necktie so they’re eye to eye, “I _told_ you I needed the reports from last September to _January._ THESE ARE MAY TO AUGUST.” She opens her mouth and proceeds to flame broil him, “Do you _morons_ even LISTEN TO WHAT I _TELL_ YOU?” Jeez, she sounded like Paimon right now.

Edelgard has had enough of the distractions and proceeds to get up from the sofa. “What in the world would make you think _that_ , Hubert?” She asks as she makes her way to the kitchen with her plate and one of the many mugs on the table. She heard Byleth moan— _hey, wait, there was still some coffee in that._

Hubert gets up with her, grabs his plate and the other two mugs, and follows her into the kitchen, “Edelgard. Just answer me truthfully.”

Edelgard sighs and puts her dishes in the sink. Hubert comes up behind her and stands poised at the sink as well. Byleth also waltzes into the kitchen in search of more coffee. She gives Edelgard a pleading look like— _help me out here._ Edelgard has _had_ it with the needy demon whining about coffee and deadlines, as well as Hubert, who’s convinced she’s now involved with _witchcraft._ Well, he wasn’t too wrong on that one.

The words leave Edelgard’s mouth before she can even stop herself. “ _Both_ of you. Stop it!”

Hubert narrows his eyes, looks at the space behind him, “ _Both_?”

Edelgard groans. She looks behind him at Byleth who is shaking her head and mouthing— _no, no, what the hell are you doing?_ She takes a deep breath, looks at her longest and dearest friend in the eye and says, “Hubert. Fine. I’ve had it up to here with all of this nonsense tonight. I’ll tell you what’s going on.” She leans in closer, “There’s a demon following me.”

Byleth smacks her head, “Smooth.”

Hubert looks at her silently. “A _demon_?”

“Yes.” Edelgard says, finally regaining composure, “The talking to myself. The things magically popping up all over the place ... that _incident_ in the bathroom.” She looks pointedly at Byleth, trying to hide the blush coming from her face.

“For the _last_ time, I was trying to get in through the _sink_! Water is a conduit for spirits, and that’s what I happened to be traveling through at the time.” Byleth rolls her eyes, “How was I supposed to know that I’d pop up in the bathtub instead! I told you before, I _didn’t_ see anything.”

 _“You still are and will forever be a pervert.”_ Edelgard seethes, “Do you remember that night you came in and I had the girls over?”

“Yes. What about that?” Hubert asks. He’s sure Edelgard has a good explanation for her insanity right now. He wasn’t even entirely serious about the witchcraft thing... but she seemed to be taking him on a ride right now.

“We were playing around with a Ouija board and I .... in all my disbelief... might have accidentally attached myself that I wasn’t supposed to.” Edelgard sighs, “Byleth. That’s the name of the demon.”

Hubert raises his eyebrows. He was sure of it, it had to be a mental breakdown. “Byleth.” He repeats as if making sure he heard Edelgard right.

“Yeah.” Byleth chimes in from behind Hubert and proceeds to walk right through him to stand near Edelgard, “She thought I was a _cat_. What an absolute disgrace.”

Edelgard can the see the sheer amount of worry in Hubert’s face. Great, he thinks she’s lost her mind again. “Should .... should I have it do something? Would that make you believe me?"

Byleth perks up, stand poised to fuck Hubert’s world up, “Oh ho! Magic time! Come on Edelgard, make it something big. Something _grand._ ”

“No, you _idiot_.” Edelgard snaps, turning to look over her shoulder, “Just like. Grab the coffee pot or something. Get yourself the coffee you so desperately want.”

“Well, you’re _in_ the way.” Byleth snaps.

Edelgard groans and pulls the lukewarm coffee pot over to her and then stands on her tippy toes to reach for a clean mug. She pours the coffee and turns around to Byleth, “Why don’t you just _walk_ right through me like everyone else?”

“Because I’ve actually, you know, been trying to make a conscience effort to _respect_ your space.” Byleth snaps, focusing her attention on Edelgard. It would seem that getting her coffee and scaring Hubert has been forgotten.

“Oh, yeah. You’re _terrible_ at that. And you know what, fuck that. I want this _coffee_. Go make yourself another pot.” Edelgard turns around, taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee and blanches. Gross. Not hot, not cold, just murky and gross. She was just being difficult cause Byleth was annoying her.

“The fuck, El! I thought I told you I was on a deadline! I _need_ that!” Byleth groans, “And at this rate I’m gonna miss the plastic sisters arguing about nothing and saying _literally_ every five minutes.”

“Fuck your trash television!” Edelgard yells as she leaves the kitchen, “And _stop_ calling me _El_! I never gave you permission to do so.”

Hubert blinks again as he watches Edelgard have an entire conversation with herself and then leave the room. Behind him Byleth is grumbling about something, but he can’t hear it. What in the _fuck_ just happened there?

He stares at Edelgard as she turns off the nature documentary and flips the channel to that Kardashian trash—that he secretly watches. He blinks again. Edelgard looks to the right as if she’s pulling her mug away from something in the air and yelling— _stop_.

Okay. That’s _it_. They were finding a therapist first thing in the morning.

—

Edelgard can feel herself getting sick.

She was already having a miserable day. Before work, Hubert tells her they were going to a therapist again— _Again_? Byleth questions, her interest piqued—and Edelgard vehemently refused. She wasn’t going crazy. There was an actual demon following her around, why didn’t he _believe_ her?

Edelgard had stormed out of the apartment on that mid-autumn Sunday morning and said she didn’t have time for Hubert and that she was going to work. It was on her train ride that she keep having hot flashes. Lapses in her reality that had her shaking her head and struggling to focus. She can’t get sick _now_ , she has work to do. Better to power through and take some vitamins or some type of medicine to stave this off.

She won’t stop coughing during her shift at the toy store—she likes stuffed animals, who would have guessed—and Byleth frowns. Of course she’s _sick_ , the girl doesn’t know how to take care of herself. Sleeping five hours a night? Skipping meals? Pushing herself to work so much when she’s so unfocused? She could barely keep it together long enough at the store before her manager is sending her home and tells her to get some _rest_. She’s _burning_ up.

Edelgard stumbles her way into the nearest convenience store, in a coughing fit, and only goes to buy aspirin—when Byleth throws in orange juice, cough medicine, a couple of packs of that dehydrated noodle mess, and something powdery with probably a hundred different vitamins to dump into water. _You’re sick_. She chides as Edelgard grumbles about demons that need to _mind_ their business.

Everything is a sick and foggy haze as she stumbles her way up the stairs of her apartment and can barely see straight enough to get her key in the door. God, her head is _killing_ her. She throws her coat on the floor, leaves her scarf on the couch. That cough sounds _terrible_ , take the damn medicine, Edelgard. She smacks Byleth’s hand out the way and grabs some water so she can down her aspirin. All she needs is sleep. If she sleeps this off now, she’ll wake up better in the morning. She collapses into bed, still in her sweater and leggings, with the door wide open. Byleth sighs, watching from the other side of the bedroom. How she would help her if she _could_. But she can’t set foot beyond that boundary.

Edelgard wakes up long after the sun has gone down and the feeling from before is way worse. She’s so hot. Why is she still in her clothes from work? What time is it? What time did she get home? She doesn’t even remember getting through the front door the haze of her sickness is so bad. She rolls over in bed and checks the time. Just past 7PM. Hubert has probably already left for his night shift at the museum. Ugh. Everything is hot and cold. Chills, but burning skin. And she feels so weak she can barely get her shirt over her head. Fucking, Hell.

She haphazardly throws a long, ragged sweater on and stumbles to the door of her bedroom to find it half open and the lights off in the living room. She places a hand on the door and tries to focus her vision. Everything is spinning and hot, like she’s travelling back into Hell again with Byleth. …Oh, Byleth. Where _is_ she?

“Byleth?” Edelgard calls, her voice sounds ragged. Fuck, her throat is starting to hurt now too.

She hears something move and the demon poking her head out from the kitchen, “Well, look who it is. The Sickened Princess. How you doing over there? Sleeping help any? Still feeling macho enough to go to school tomorrow?” Byleth asks as she walks over to Edelgard who looks like she’s struggling to stand up. She presses the back of her hand to Edelgard’s forehead and the girl jerks away, “You are _burning_ up.”

“Am not.” Edelgard mumbles, “I need water… my throat hurts.”

“Get your ass back into bed.” Byleth sighs, turning her around and giving her a gentle push back into the bedroom, “I’m making you some soup and tea. We should check your temperature, too, while we’re at it.”

Edelgard grumbles, “Don’t touch me.”

“ _Get_.” Byleth makes a motion like she’s about to push her again and sighs about weak humans and heads back into the kitchen.

Edelgard stumbles back into her bedroom, bumping into things as she goes. Somehow she finds her bed in the darkness and flops over face first into the sheets. She waits a minute and then groans, “ _Byyyleeethhh.”_

“Just a _damn_ minute.” Byleth calls back from the kitchen. Her boots thump against the wood of the living room and arrive at the doorway of Edelgard’s bedroom. “Well.”

“What?” Edelgard groans. She can’t even turn over right now to look at her.

Byleth gives an impatient sigh. Edelgard hears something that sounds like liquid sloshing around. “I can’t come _in_ unless you let me.”

“What?” Edelgard repeats herself and turns over so she can look at Byleth. She fumbles with the switch of the light on her nightstand so she can actually _see_ in all this darkness. “Just come in.”

Byleth makes a pained noise, “Look, I know you’re sick and your brain isn’t functioning in any capacity right now, but, how long have we been at this now? _Invite_ me in.”

Oh. _That_. Edelgard frowns, “You’re like … not going to be able to come in here _all_ the time if I do that, right?”

“No, you can revoke the access any time you want.” Byleth stomps one of her boots in impatience, “Now say the damn words so I can give you your food and take your temperature already!”

Edelgard rolls over and gets under her duvet, “I grant … the cockeyed demon … entry into my domain.”

Byleth grumbles under her breath and finally waltzes her way into Edelgard’s room. She sets a bowl down, disappears for a minute, and then comes back with tea and a warm glass of water. She flips her hand to the right and a small white object snaps into place, “Open.” She says, leaning down to Edelgard’s face.

Edelgard coughs as she opens her mouth. She hopes the demon gets her germs as well, “Ahhh…”

Byleth jabs the thermometer into her mouth and pulls Edelgard’s desk chair over to the bed, “You are _such_ a brat.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes and winces. That _hurt_. The thermometer beeps a minute later and she reaches up to pull it out of her mouth. Her eyes can’t focus and her vision is blurry, she can’t read it. “Wassit say?”

“103.2.” Byleth replies mirthfully, “Still think you aren’t sick enough to stay home tomorrow?”

Edelgard groans, “ _Fuck_. I can’t get sick right now.”

“Well congratulations, you are.” Byleth hands her the glass of water and breaks out two more tabs of aspirin, “Here.”

Edelgard pushes herself up, hating every moment of this. When she was sick, she was _sick._ She collapses back onto her pillows and groans, “The absolute worst.”

Once she’s settled back down, Byleth grabs the bowl of soup at her side, “Can you even feed yourself right now?”

Edelgard looks at her, gaze unfocused. “…Why are there _two_ of you right now?”

Byleth sighs again, “Nevermind. _Open_.

Edelgard is obedient for once and opens her mouth so that Byleth can lump some of the liquid broth filled with vegetables into her mouth, “…Mmm … this … doesn’t taste like … the crap you bought … in the convenience store.”

“That’s because it’s _not_.” Byleth says, banging the spoon on the bowl, “I made it. It’s _actual_ soup.”

“You guys can _cook_?” Edelgard asks. She closes her eyes. Better that way. She was tired of seeing double.

“King of Hell, infinite knowledge. You’re practically a savant no matter what you do.” Byleth replies, spooning another helping of soup into Edelgard’s mouth. She resists the urge to chuckle when the girl hums happily in response, “You would know these things if you actually _listen_ when I talk to you.”

“Yeah…” Edelgard replies. _Damn_ , this was good. “… You talk too damn much though.”

“Do—no, I’m not going to take your bait. You’re delirious right now. Look at you.” Byleth taps her foot on the floor in thought. And maybe this is exactly what she needed to get some information out of Edelgard, “Hey, El…”

“I told you to stop _calling_ me that.” Edelgard’s brow furrows in annoyance. Maybe she wasn’t _completely_ out of it.

“Yeah, sure, noted.” Byleth replies, “…What was Hubert talking about when he said he was going to take you to therapy _again_.”

Edelgard waves her hand in dismissal of Byleth’s question, “Oh, that. Just him worried about my mental stakes or whatever.”

“Mental stakes?” Byleth pauses, spoon hovering above the bowl. "Mental _state,_ you mean?"

“He’s afraid I’ll go to the loony bin or somethin’.” Edelgard replies, “Really, it wasn’t even the loony bin. I just went to see someone for awhile … for things.”

“Things?” She spoons another helping of soup into Edelgard’s mouth.

Edelgard chews for a while, looks like she’s slowly fading off into sleep, “Yeah… things. I was a teenager. It wasn’t even for that long.” She has a coughing fit and wipes at the snot rolling out her nose. Disgustingly endearing. “It was for like …a year or something. Then I went to go live with mother and we never talked about it again.”

“Therapy?”

“No, _silly_. The other thing.” Edelgard replies, drifting back into a state between dreamland and consciousness.

“ _What_ other thing?” Byleth asks, feeling like she’s on the edge of making some groundbreaking discovery about Edelgard.

“You know...” Her voice gets fainter, “… Volkhard.”

“ _Volkhard_?” _Who_? Byleth looks down at Edelgard and hears a hitch in breath, another cough, and then she’s limp. “Edelgard?” Nothing. The damn girl had fallen asleep on her.

Byleth sighs, looks down at the bowl of soup and shrugs. She could eat the rest when she woke up. The tea has gone cold and the water is half drunk. She was sick, all right. Byleth grabs the dishes and heads back for the kitchen so she can put them away for later. Maybe when Edelgard woke up she would have a little bit more sense than she did tonight.

Standing in the kitchen, she takes out her phone and scrolls through it for her message log with Claude. _Got something new for you. Do a soft pull for the name ‘Volkhard’ and see what you get._ Her phone chimes a few seconds later. _Roger, chief._ She pockets her phone and opens the refrigerator. Stupid sick, delirious humans.

—

It’s Halloween. The one night a year where the veil between humans and spirits is essentially lifted and they can start seeing the truth of things now. Her _favorite_ day of the year—people actually _notice_ her for once. But, no. What’s Byleth doing? Taking care of one sick human.

It had been two days and her fever _still_ hadn’t broken. Byleth—and Hubert not knowing Byleth was there—had tried everything. Alcohol and honey in her tea, peppermint and lemon lozenges, hot showers on the hour, variations of Byleth’s vegetable soup, that damn medicated chest rub that smelled spicier than it felt. Nothing worked. Byleth had even suggested the old demon remedy of stuffing a dead bat in your mouth and hanging from your ankles. Edelgard had called her an idiot.

They had gone to the doctor when she started throwing up. Lo and behold, she had the _flu_ , imagine that. Edelgard’s put on an intravenous drip for the day to replenish fluids—the doctor gives her some antiviral medication and tells her to go home and _rest_. Hubert assures him that he’ll make sure she does so and Byleth rolls her eyes, _I’ve been telling her the same thing for the past two fucking days._

So there they were. The day after going to the doctor with Byleth taking her temperature again and Edelgard explaining to Dorothea that she just can’t make her party tonight—she’s sick. _Deathly ill_ , Byleth echoes in the background.

She pulls the thermometer out of Edelgard’s mouth, “Hm. 100.7. Better than the last couple of days, that’s for sure. You still seeing double of me?”

“No, you still look like the same annoying, lisping cat with uneven teeth that I summoned last month.” Edelgard grumbles, turning her head away from Byleth, “Ugh. I’m feeling a little better though. I guess I should be thanking you and Hubert for your dedication to my health.”

“Yeah, because you don’t seem to care about it at all.” Byleth sets the thermometer down, “Can you manage feeding yourself tonight? Won’t spill the bowl all over yourself like last time?”

“I _did_ not.” Edelgard mumbles as she grabs a tissue to blow her nose.

“Hubert had to help change your sheets while I pretended like I wasn’t there.” Byleth muttered. “Where _is_ Hubert anyway? That man never seems to be home, and yet, he’s been so attentive in the past couple of days.”

“Probably off getting laid now that I’m semi-better.” Edelgard responded as she grabbed the bowl off her nightstand, “Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean he can’t go out and enjoy the evening. …Which reminds me. It’s Halloween. Isn’t that like … Christmas in your world?”

Byleth reclines in Edelgard’s desk chair and shrugs. She thinks she hears the front door open? Is Hubert back? Oh, good. He can come look after Edelgard then. “Sort of. I think Purson’s throwing a party down near his beachfront manor in Cocytus tonight. I’m not going though. The ghosts get extra frisky on nights like this. Don’t feel like … going through that right now.”

“I’m not going to even ask.” Edelgard mutters as she dips her spoon into the bowl, “Are you just going to sit there and watch me eat like a creep?”

Byleth stands up, stretches her neck, leaning from side to side, “ _Nope_. I think I’m gonna go head back down and check out the sights for tonight. Maybe get into a little bit of trouble as well. You seem to have your acerbic bite back, so you must be feeling at least somewhat better.” She yawns, “Besides, I think Hubert just came back.”

“Right.” Edelgard sips at the soup; “I’ll see you when you next decide to harass me.”

“Looking forward to it.” Byleth is about to turn and head out the door when she pauses. Hubert is in the doorway, looks at her, then Edelgard, then back at her. She shrugs, chalking it up to the thinness of the veil and walks right past him.

Hubert turns around, watching her retreating form. Who was this woman? “So, you’re not going to introduce yourself?” He says as she passes him. He turns back to Edelgard, after observing Byleth heading for the hallway closet, “Edelgard, who is this _strange_ woman and _why_ is she rummaging around in the hallway closet?”

Byleth pauses. Oh. _Fuck._ She had just climbed on top of a suitcase to reach the location of the sigil. He could _see_ her? She falls back and pushes herself back onto the floor of the apartment. From the open door, she can see Hubert staring in her direction. Okay, deep breath. This was it, her grand introduction.

Byleth closes the door and waves an arm up and down at Hubert. His eyes seem to follow her. Okay, what about this? She turns around in a circle and then wiggles her fingers at him. He grimaces and then turns his attention back to Edelgard as he walks into her room.

“Edelgard. What lunatics have you been associating with in my absence? Is this a Halloween prank?”

Edelgard sips her soup, unfazed by any of said lunancy occurring right now, “What do you mean?”

“That strange woman doing … some type of dance in the hallway.” Hubert says. He turns around when Byleth comes back into view in the doorway of Edelgard’s room, “ _That_ woman.”

“Oh.” Edelgard gives him a pointed look, “That’s Byleth.”

“…Byleth. The demon.” Hubert asks.

“Yes. That’s her.”

Byleth comes into the room, interrupting their exchange, “Oh, _baby!_ I knew the veil was _thin_ tonight, but holy shit, I wasn't expecting this. There must be a full moon. Or you cast some type of expelling shadows spell. There’s no _way_ you should be able to see me right now.” Her eyes seem to light up, “I wonder if _everyone_ can see me. Oh, fuck going back to Hell. I might just stay here and fuck shit up on Earth for a night. Do you _know_ how rare this is?”

Hubert looks at Edelgard, “…This is a Halloween prank, isn’t it?”

Edelgard shakes her head, just as calm as ever, “No. It isn’t.”

Byleth grins, fangs on display, “It sure as hell, isn’t, _Hubert._ ” A puff of black smoke and she’s in her full demon regalia, horns and all. She flips over a card and leans over and hands it to him. Oh, her business card. She sinks back into Edelgard’s desk chair, crosses her legs and presses her fingers together. The grin on her face has turned manic, “It is I, Byleth. King of Hell. How do you do?”

Hubert looks at Byleth and blinks, “…Magic?”

Edelgard nods again, “Magic.”

Hubert strokes his chin and turns to Edelgard, “…You summoned a demon.”

She nods in response, “I summoned a demon.”

He takes a minute, crosses his arms and nods to himself as if he’s deciding something. “Right.” Hubert pulls away from Edelgard, “Perhaps, I have caught your sickness, Edelgard. I am going to go lie down now".

Byleth sucks her teeth and turns around at Hubert’s retreating form, “Wait a minute, _Hubert_. I was just starting the show.” He closes the door behind him, “ _HUBERT_.”

Edelgard waves her hand, “Let him go. He’ll process it by the morning and then come to me and everything will be fine.”

“I don’t care what _he_ processes. I fucking transformed right in front of him and you just confirmed what he was seeing!” Byleth is indignant.

“Yes, well, I thought you were a _dream_ before I actually believed what I was seeing, remember?”

Byleth sucks her teeth again, “Tch, whatever.” She mumbles against her balled fist and looks at Edelgard, “Now what?”

“Can you put something decent on? I’m sick enough.” 

Byleth rolls her eyes and doesn’t listen, “Fuck it. I’m going out anyway.” She gets up out of the chair and gets onto Edelgard’s bed so she can open the window. A rush of cold air chills the room, ruffles her hair, “Don’t wait up.”

Edelgard watches Byleth leap out of the window like a ninja demon and shut it behind her. Her shadow crosses over the fire escape. Edelgard leans over for her tea, and she hears screams emit from below on the street. She sighs at the warmth of the hot liquid descending down her throat.

Ah. She felt _much_ better.

**—**

The next Saturday, Hubert and Byleth sit together on the couch. Hubert has decided to join them, his secret love of Keeping Up With The Kardshians having finally been exposed.

Byleth turns to look over her shoulder, “Edelgard! Hurry _up_. The new episode is about to come on.” She turns to look at Hubert, even though she knows he can’t see or hear her now, “You think Kourtney and Scott are _ever_ going to get back together?”

Edelgard rushes into the living room with three bottles of beer in her hands and sets them down on the coffee table, “I hate that the two of you like this trash.”

“It’s not trash.” Hubert takes one of the bottles off the table and tips it to his lips, “It’s wonderfully calculated art. The drama. The excitement. The terrible vocal fry that echoes with every word. The never-ending plastic surgery. That takes _skill_ , Edelgard.”

“Yeah, sure.” Edelgard sips at her own beer and pulls her knees up to her chest.

Hubert turns an eye on the bottle floating up in the air, simulating the motion of drinking as well, “Edelgard, while we’re all present. Can you _please_ tell your demon if she’s going to insist on coming over to _stop_ leaving coffee cups all over the house.”

“Tell him I can hear him _just fine_.” Byleth mutters, knowing damn well Hubert can’t hear her.

“You know she’s right there. Can hear you, Hubert.” Edelgard says.

“Yes, but I can’t hear _her.”_

 _“_ Be glad.” Edelgard mutters and sips her beer as well.

“Oh, screw you both.” Byleth mutters, “Now shut _up_ , Khloe’s going to start crying soon.”

And they settle into companionable silence to watch Khloe _literally_ be angry at Kim for the fifth time that season.


	7. Girl Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I lied about that lack of writing time since returning to work thing, ha. I've been finding lots of free time this week to continue this. Let's hope it stays that way for a little while.

“This guy is gross.” Byleth remarks, sipping her martini, “ _Really_ gross. Even for demon standards.”

“You’re telling me. Did you see the bit about the kittens?” Claude asks.

“No...” Byleth flips through the file, “...The _fuck_?”

“Yeah man...” Claude takes a long swig of his beer, “Fucked up shit.”

“Those poor little kitties ...” She peruses another page of the report, “Who fucks with a _disabled_ person and then tells them they should pray to God to fix their crippled legs? Shit, even Hell is ADA compliant and no one raises a fuss about that.”

“Just …keep reading if you want to get angrier.”

“Homophobia. Racism— _colored?_ Bribery, theft of personal property…” She looks up at Claude, “You’re _sure_ he’s related to Edelgard?” Byleth asks.

“Got a familial ping when I searched out from her mother’s family ... an Anselma or Patricia or something. I think she changed her name because the former sounded too... unique.”

“Anselma _von Arundel._ Sounds pretentious enough.”

“Eh, goes by Patricia Blaiddyd now it seems. Changed her name when she married Edelgard’s stepfather.” Claude points out.

“Hm, I see. Anyway, what about stuff he did in regards to El …” She started flipping through pages, “More classified _bullshit._ Oh, _come_ on. Tch, looks like I’ll be having to take a visit to Purgatory after all.”

“Yeah, but how are you going to get _into_ the Hall of Memories, By? You know the security level of that place.”

Byleth shrugs, “Hm. Don’t know, don’t care. I’ll figure that out later. Maybe I can butter Luc up over those games of strip poker he loves so much.”

“I don’t think that is going to work.” Claude says, “…Are you sure you’re supposed to be looking into this stuff? Whatever is in those files must be repressed in Edelgard’s mind. Or it’s stuff she _really_ doesn’t want people to know. You know how that goes.”

“Yes.” Byleth says, chucking Volkhard’s file onto the bar counter, “I want to know. I need to know why she reacted in the way that she did. Now that I have a name, I have a place to start.”

“And what are you going to do when you find out?” Claude asks, “ _If_ you can even find out.”

“I’ll figure that out when I see what _exactly_ it is.” Byleth mutters. Fitting punishment for a crime, that’s what she believed anyway.

“Love to see what you come up with, chief.” Claude pauses in mid-sip, watching Byleth pull nail polish out of the air and start painting them blood red, “…And why are you painting your nails?”

“Edelgard’s going out tonight with the _girls._ I was invited by extension of being her plus one demon.” Byleth replies, “I’m going corporeal tonight.”

Claude smirks, “ _Really_?”

“Yeah. It’s been awhile.” Byleth replies, “Well, actually. That’s a lie. I had my _fun_ on Halloween. But it’s been awhile since I’ve pretended to be human.”

“Why tonight?” Claude asks.

“I don’t know. Felt like indulging my charge.” Swipe, another coat goes on her nails, “Is that so wrong?”

“You’ve been _really_ soft on this one, By.” Claude grins, “Almost would say… hm.”

“I’ll chop your fucking head off if you don’t cease your stupidity right now, Claude.” Byleth mutters, blowing on her nails, “Is that what you want?”

Claude, unfazed by the thousands of threats lobbed his way on a daily basis, just shrugs, “Nope.”

“Good.” Byleth caps the bottle and looks at her nails, “Are they pretty and glossy enough?”

“For you? Of course.” Claude leans in, “Why, looks like you already have the blood of some idiot who got to close to you on your nails already. I dig it.”

“Thank _you.”_ Byleth steps down off her stool, “Enough pregame, I’m off. Put that file on my desk, I want to look at it a little more when I get back.”

Claude raises his drink in acknowledgment, “Aye. Remember to watch your drink and don’t accept any rides from strangers.”

Byleth rolls her eyes at him, “Your concern is duly noted.” And disappears in a flash of black smoke.

Claude turns back and chuckles into his drink, “Quite the little crush you got there, By…”

He leans his head slightly to the left as a spear materializes from behind him and goes straight into one of the bottles of alcohol behind the bar. The demon bartender screams— _I don’t get paid enough for this shit!_

Claude just cackles in response.

—

Byleth wants to blow her brains out.

The high was still going strong. But, she’s currently sandwiched between Edelgard and Dorothea on the train, in view of all these … _mortals_ , that won’t stop gawking at her. Byleth feels like hissing, baring her teeth—but then she remembers. No demon form, she doesn’t have fangs, _stupid_.

Instead, she closes her eyes and groans. This _eyeliner_ and _mascara_ that Edelgard had made her smear over her eyes, they _hurt_. Makes her want to cry tears of blood. This shirt is too low-cut, these jeans, too tight. And she’s _cold_ in only the shelter of her leather jacket. Edelgard had told her she should have dressed warmer, she wasn’t a demon existing in the world of the in-between where none of the elements could affect her. It’s November already and the weather has taken a nosedive in temperature. She was borderline _human_ now, better get used to it. Even if it _was_ only for one night.

She had appeared in Edelgard’s room just as Edelgard was pulling her hair up into some intricate ponytail on the side of her head. _Where have you, been_? _We’re going to be late_! _Are you drunk already?_ Byleth had slurred out a weak, _no_ , and Edelgard only seemed to grow more perturbed by the minute. As a demon, she would have to drink … what … an entire vat of alcohol to even get somewhat drunk. In this corporeal form? Oh, was that shit hitting her hard and fast.

Edelgard had pulled her onto the floor of her bedroom, mashed at Byleth’s face with her pointy sticks and wands of doom, _OPEN YOUR EYES. STOP SCRUNCHING YOUR FACE. PUCKER YOUR LIPS._ Why did women _do_ this to themselves? And the _griping_ about her lack of punctuality—really, that _doesn’t_ exist in Hell—she just wouldn’t stop.

Edelgard pushes a glass of water into her hands and tells her to _sit_ as she sets to getting her own face ready for the night. Is this what … girls did together before a night out? Byleth has no idea. She’s not really a girl … she’s a demon.

Edelgard turns to her, stretches out her arms, “What do you think of this outfit?”

Byleth sips her water, “I don’t know. I’m a demon, not a fashion consultant. I just wear black. And red. And varying degrees of that.”

Edelgard looks down at her ensemble of leggings, flannel shirt and black shirt, “Does it _look_ okay?”

Byleth waves dismissively, “It looks _fine_.”

Edelgard frowns, “Look. If you’re not going to take girl’s night seriously, I—“ The doorbell rings, “…Oh, God, they’re here. _YOU_. No funny business tonight. Act as human as _possible_.”

Byleth shrugs again, downs the water and massages her head. She needed to sober up fast. Fuck. “Yeah, sure.”

Edelgard is on her way out of the room, before she turns back around, “Your name is Byca…leth. Byca, for short. You’re twenty three. And we’re in the same sculpture class, _okay?_ You just started the program this year and we just started talking. Use your demon savant brain to access anything you know about art if they ask you about it."

“Why… why does my name sound like a fucking bicycle?” Byleth groans.

“Cause that’s the only _fucking_ thing I could come up with, now, shut up. I have to go let them in.”

Edelgard runs away from her and Byleth groans when she hears the chorus of girly cheers coming in from the front of the apartment. The door closes and Dorothea is _loud_. Bernadetta, as always, stumbling over her words. Petra makes a weird remark about lipstick not being a stick on your lips. The girls sigh, tell her, _that’s nice Petra,_ and all start coming into Edelgard’s room.

 _“Can you still hear me this way? Please tell me you can.”_ Edelgard pleads, looking at Byleth who’s giving her a weary look.

“Yeah, sure.” Byleth answers.

“Huh?” Dorothea tilts her head to the side. She … none of them had said anything yet.

“ _IN YOUR HEAD.”_ Edelgard looks like she’s on the verge of a heart attack, “ _Guys._ This is _Byca,_ the girl I was telling you about. In my _sculpture_ class. She’s a first year grad student at the university.”

Byleth blinks, gives them a two fingered salute, “Yo.”

Edelgard turns to her group of friends and waves them into the room, “We might have had a little _too much_ before you guys came over. Pregame and all.”

Dorothea smiles and sits down next to Byleth on Edelgard’s bed. She giggles. Her eyes are suspiciously … red. “That’s okay! I’m already high!”

“You are a greeting?” Petra asks.

Bernadetta sighs. She doesn’t drink, she doesn’t even like going out. They _always_ drag her to places she doesn’t want to be. “No, Petra. She’s been smoking the herb.”

Byleth’s eyes lift, smile hazy, “Got any more?”

“Of _course_.” Dorothea smiles and reaches into her pocket to uncap a small tube, “I _like_ her, Edelgard.”

“Why? Because you found another pothead such as yourself?” Edelgard mutters as she applies a coat of red lipstick to her lips. She turns around to see Dorothea lighting up and almost smacks her in the head, “If you’re going to do that, open a god damn _window,_ for fucks sake.”

Dorothea hands the blunt to Byleth and she willingly accepts it, “So, where you from Byca? …Byca? Is that short for something?”

 _“Say you’re from Garreg Mach and the city life is all new to you._ ” Edelgard isn’t looking at her as she applies mascara.

“I’m from Hell.” Byleth replies, blowing a long stream of smoke out her mouth and into Dorothea’s face. She winks for added effect. Edelgard visibly pales in her mirror. “And it’s short for Byca…leth. My parents were hippies.”

Petra sits down on the floor, “ _Ah_. You mean your place of residence is shit.” She turns to Bernadette, “I got that one.”

Dorothea laughs, “She’s funny, El.” She accepts the joint back from Byleth and poises it before her mouth, “Your hometown really that bad, huh?”

“Oh, it’s like … full of nothing but demons and heretics. Crazy stuff.” Byleth continues, “So _hot_ all the time. Forget about it when the AC goes out.”

“Oh! You must be from down south! Florida? Georgia?” Dorothea replies as she hands the blunt back to Byleth, “Nice to be somewhere cool like, Enbarr, huh?”

“Yep. Down south. Waaaaayyy down south. In that deep, dark, bush that only _Satan_ can touch.” Byleth replies, inhaling again. Things were started to get nice … fuzzy. Kind of heavy. Hm, this human shit wasn’t half bad, “Sativa?” She asks, perhaps wanting to access a more mental plane tonight. She thinks she hears her name— _BYLETH—_ in her head, but she doesn’t really care right now.

“Hybrid.” Dorothea answers, “Feeling anything yet? I’m already in the clouds.”

“Sure. Could melt right through this bed and go back to Hell.” Byleth inhales and stands up. The world spins slightly. Easy, girl. “But we have a prior engagement to acknowledge, don’t we?”

Berndetta sighs, “Do I _have_ to go?”

“Yes, Bernie. You do.” Dorothea snaps, “Don’t mind her. She’s nervous all the time. We’ve been trying for _months_ to break her out of her shell. Oh, sorry. Introductions. I’m Dorothea.” She gestures to herself. “That nervous one over there is Bernadetta. And that’s Petra. Don’t mind her if she says something weird, she’s not from around here.”

Petra shrugs her shoulders, “This English confounds me every given day. I still try my best.”

Ah, yes. Satan’s newest prospect, the demon fearing spaz, and the hilarious foreign girl. Edelgard’s most trusted inner circle of … idiots. Byleth smiles, “Well, that’s all right. Won’t _learn_ if you don’t try, right?”

Petra nods in agreement, “Yes, I believe so as well.”

Dorothea turns to Edelgard who’s been hiding her manic look of rage over in the corner, “Eddy, you done getting yourself pretty yet? We’re gonna miss happy hour at this point.”

Edelgard takes a deep breath, turns around and _smiles_. Byleth snorts at the sheer rage she feels permeating off of the girl, “Yes. Dorothea. I’m _ready_.” She narrows her eyes at Byleth, “Are _you_ ready, _Byca_?”

Byleth takes one more puff, blows smoke in defiance “As ready as I’ll ever be, _El_.”

—

They’re at the bar and squeezed into a booth near the back.

It’s loud, so damn _loud._ It’s been awhile since Byleth has been in a human bar. Everyone is so _sloppy_ and drunk. Well, Byleth had been too. But that was starting to wear off. She'd been listening to the girls droll on about _shoes_ and _boys_ and ... wait, sexual exploits. Byleth could get into that. She _loved_ talking about sex. She tunes into Dorothea as she seems to be talking about some ... woman or another. 

_“_ So, yeah.” Dorothea turns to look at Edelgard, “ _Guess_ what happened last night.”

“I don’t know, you gained an ounce of shame?” Edelgard asks, taking a swig of her gin and tonic.

“Professor Manuela invited me over and …” Dorothea giggles and twirls her hair, not bothering to finish her sentence.

 _“Ah, the sensual touch of an older woman.”_ Byleth muses, “ _Dorothea’s a bit of a freak, ain’t she?”_

Edelgard doesn’t bother replying to Byleth and her head jerks in surprise at Dorothea’s confession. She blinks, “You did _what_?”

“Oh, Eddy. Come on. You know that’s what I was really trying to do all this time.” Dorothea laughs, “This profession is all about who you _know_. And I intend to know people both intellectually and—“

“ _Biblically.”_ Byleth says to no one but herself.

“…Biblically.” Dorothea finishes. She looks above her, “…Wow, where did that come from? It’s like the word just flew into my brain at that exact second.”

Edelgard groans, _“This was a terrible idea.”_

“I’m quite enjoying myself.” Byleth muttered into her drink.

Dorothea turns around, “Did you say something, Byca?”

“Nope.” Byleth smiles, mustering the most demonic look she can, “Just… enjoying everyone’s company. You guys are _so_ cool.”

“I am not cold.” Petra replies.

Bernadetta groans, pushes her soda across the table. “All this talk about sex is … embarrassing guys.”

“No it isn’t. Unless you’re a _virgin_.” Dorothea teases, “And we _all_ know you’re not, Bernadetta. So stop it. Whatever happened with that sweet Ashe guy, anyway? He was so cute. You guys were perfect for one another.”

“We’re… we’re still seeing each other.”

“ _Is this what you do when I’m not around? Just talk about sex?_ ” Byleth asks, “ _I should hang around you guys a lot more. I might have misjudged your friends from before. You know, with that whole Ouija board sealing mess in the cemetery._ ”

“ _No, you freak. This isn’t all we talk about_.” Edelgard frowns, looking at Byleth in response.

“What about _you,_ Eddy?” Dorothea asks, looking at her, “How’s your dating life? You ever hook back up with that Shamir chick from the business school?”

Edelgard almost chokes on her drink and covers her mouth to prevent liquid from escaping out of it. Byleth turns to Edelgard, interest _piqued_. Oh, so she _did_ have an active sex life, huh? Shamir? Who was _that_?

Edelgard vehemently shakes her head, “No. It’s over and _done_ with, Dorothea.”

“Oh, but she was so _good_ for you. God, you’re always so tight. Like a coil, ready to burst.” Dorothea sighs, “You were so relaxed over the summer. Nothing about how much you had to work, or what needed to get _done_.”

Byleth leans forward, puts on her best ditzy voice, “ _Who’s_ Shamir?”

“Oh, just this girl that had _blew_ Eddy’s brains out in the bedroom.” Dorothea giggles, far too gone to protect any type of confidentiality.

“You mean, she shot you in the head?” Petra asks, eyes growing wide, “Edelgard, that is _dangerous_. How are you even alive right now?!”

Edelgard growls and pounds her first on the table. Byleth is in her head again. _That good, huh?_ She pushes at Dorothea’s shoulder, “Dorothea. Please. _Shut_ up.”

Dorothea continues, “Don’t worry, Byca. Eddy seems like a stone cold, hard up bitch when you first get to know her. But you’ll start to see, she’s really just … a puppy. A puppy imitating a bulldog’s bite.”

 _“Oh, I already know that.”_ Byleth hums inside her head, taking a sip of her drink. “ _Remember when you were sick?”_

Edelgard has had enough, “Can we change the subject? All we ever do is talk about sex.”

“See, I was right.” Bernadetta whines, cradling her soda in her hands.

“Well. We’re young. And single. _Why_ not.” Dorothea leans forward, “What about you, Byca? Any recent exploits you’d like to share with the table?”

Recent? _Exploits_? Did Dorothea even know whom she was speaking with? There was that orgy down at the Styx the other month when Edelgard had been pissed off at her. That group of witches in the cemetery from Halloween night. Rage sex with that fucking succubus down in the supermarket last week. A mishap with Vine, whoops, _comfort sex_. She probably had already gotten herself off… like … what … _six_ times today? In female _and_ male form. Ah, duality at its best.

Byleth smiles demurely and shakes her head, “No, not recently.”

“Oh?” Dorothea asks, “Well, what’s your type?”

Edelgard glares at her like— _don’t you even dare_. Byleth ignores her. “I like … girls with long hair… who are _shy_ and … love stuffed animals. Even though they try and hide it from the world.”

She couldn’t believe this right now. The demon was _fucking_ with her right in front of her face and all of her friends were oblivious to it. “Really. Fascinating. Do go on.” Edelgard deadpans.

“Shh, Eddy. Don’t be rude.” Dorothea leans in closer, “Continue, Byca.”

“Oh, I don't know.” Byleth leans back, “I always seem to attract people with lots of _demons_ in their _closets._ ”

“You mean people that play … that game?” Petra asks.

“ _No,_ Petra. She means the dark and broody type.” Dorothea nods her head, “I can empathize. Everyone loves a bad girl or boy.”

“Yeah, a _real_ King of Hell.” Byleth stares pointedly at Edelgard.

That’s it. She’s had enough. Edelgard slams her hands on the table and Bernadetta whines at the sudden interruption. Dorothea turns around to look at her like— _what the fuck, Eddy_? Edelgard looks down at her best friend and then glares daggers at her unruly demon, “ _I’m_ going to get another drink.”

“Oh, wait, I’ll come with! I wanted to get something else, too.” Byleth scoots over, turns back to the group. Puts on the same ditzy voice from before, “Anyone _else_ want anything?”

The group is good, so she excuses herself and follows after Edelgard. Edelgard doesn’t even wait for her as she pushes her way to the bar counter, shoulders shaking, fuming. The _nerve_ of Byleth right now. Flirting with her. Stupid demon. Stop _fucking_ with her. She orders whiskey, no chaser. Give me something _hard_ , bartender.

Byleth comes up beside her, stretches her arms and looks down at Edelgard, “I don’t know about _you_ , but I’m having a good time.”

“You’re such an immature idiot, you know.” Edelgard says, not even looking at her, “What is _wrong_ with you?”

“Just having a little bit of fun, El.” Byleth rests her elbow on the bar and signals to the bartender, “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“No. No, this _isn’t_ what I wanted.” Edelgard groans, “I just wanted to hang out with my friends tonight. _Be_ girls. Not … this. Not getting embarrassed by everyone because they can’t keep their mouths _shut.”_

Byleth raises an eyebrow, “Something you wanna share with the class?”

“I’m private for a reason.” Edelgard mutters, “Dorothea had no right spilling that stuff about Shamir to the table tonight. God, I fucking … sometimes she makes me _so_ angry.”

“Then _why_ do you hang out with her?”

“Because— _girls—_ Byleth. Not that you would get it! Our friendships are complicated.” Edelgard starts gesturing wildly, “You demons probably don’t even _have_ friendships. Just probably obliterate each other when you piss one another off.”

Byleth shrugs. Eh, she wasn’t too far off on that one. Edelgard continues.

“She doesn’t even know you and yet she’s blabbing about personal stuff, and fuck. What _else_ has she told someone that I don’t know?” Edelgard sips her whiskey, “God, _GOD_.”

“Stop calling her, she won’t come.” Byleth says.

“Just … shut up.” Edelgard grasps her glass in her hand and turns around, “I’m going back to the table. And maybe … maybe we’ll go home soon. I’m getting kind of tired of being here right now. Wish I was somewhere else, to be honest.”

Byleth watches Edelgard walk off without another word and frowns. Byleth snaps her fingers and wanders off. _Well_ , if she wished for it, Byleth had to grant it, right?

—

“Where’s Byca?” Dorothea asks. It’s been some time since she’s seen the girl and she hadn’t returned back to the table with Edelgard, “She’s been gone for awhile now. Is she okay? Maybe we should check the bathroom.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Edelgard replies, “…We kind of had a little argument at the bar. Maybe she went outside to cool off or something.”

“Jeez, Eddy. This is why you don’t keep friends.” Dorothea mutters.

“Oh, shut _up_ , already.” Edelgard grumbles. Maybe the alcohol was starting to escalate things.

“Do you have something to say?” Dorothea asks.

Bernadetta holds her hands out. She _hates_ when they fight. “Guys. …Not now, don’t start. Please.”

“No. Dorothea started it.” Edelgard turns to her, “Yeah, I _do,_ actually. You had no right bringing up our personal business like that tonight. What I tell you, I tell you in confidence. Don’t you know this by now?”

Dorothea rolls her eyes, “Oh, _jeez_. Forgive me, _Princess_ Edelgard. I was just making light banter with the new girl.”

“Yeah, well, everything doesn’t have to be about _sex._ ” Edelgard says, “Good for _you._ You fucked Professor Manuela. I hope that lands you an A in the next course you take with her. Or wait, maybe it was a pity fuck and she only did it because she feels _sorry_ for you.”

“Guys, now is not the time to simmer like a pot.” Petra is ignored.

Dorothea was heated now, “Excuse me for not being _repressed_ like some people. You know, for someone who claims to be so _bisexual,_ you can’t even have a guy _touch_ you without going cold and clamming up.”

Too _far_. “You have no idea what you’re talking about and I’m going to tell you to _shut_ the fuck up, right now before I put this drink in your—“

“ _Ladies_.”

Bernadetta is ... suddenly blushing. Petra’s eyebrows raise and let’s out a soft— _oh._ Dorothea frowns at the interruption and then her features soften— _who is_ **this**? Edelgard is about to turn around and tell whomever it is to _fuck off_ before her eyes go wide and she goes white. It’s Byleth. …Byleth, as a _guy_.

Edelgard closes her eyes, _“What the fuck are you doing?”_

Byleth brushes his hair away from his eyes, “ _Just go along with it. You said you wanted out of here. Here you go.”_ He inhales and leans forward toward Edelgard, “Forgive me for the interruption. But, I couldn’t resist this … beautiful creature that caught me off guard from across the room. I hope I’m not being rude by asking such a beautiful lady for her name …”

…Even _Edelgard_ blushes and she tucks her hair behind her ear. Fucking, it’s _Byleth,_ Edelgard. Stop that. She clears her throat, “Uhm…”

“Why are you talking to _her_?” Dorothea leans in, eyes nearly glittering, “I’m _just_ as cute.”

Byleth smiles warmly, “Ah, that may be so. But I’m really more interested in this delicate vessel of Godliness that has so captured my attention. With all the rapture of heaven, I feel as if my soul has been sucked away.”

“ _Please stop this.”_ Edelgard feels like covering her face in embarrassment now.

“ _Then relinquish your name to me fair maiden, so that we may be off into this cold, cold, November night.”_ Byleth rolls his eyes.

Dorothea can’t believe that _Edelgard_ is getting more play than she is right now. This has to be the Devil’s work. Close, Dorothea, close. “Eddy…” She whispers, “This dude is fucking _hot_. _GO.”_

 _“Yes, please. I still have my fucking girly ass underwear on from early; I had to change so fast. It’s starting to get tight in here.”_ Byleth looks pointedly at her, “…A name?”

Edelgard decides she’ll play along with this stupidity for now, “E…Edelgard. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Ah, Edelgard. What a delight.” Byleth extends his hand, “I am … By … cleth. Bycleth.”

“A lot of B names tonight.” Dorothea mutters.

Edelgard looks at his hand, but doesn’t take it, “A pleasure as well…Bycleth.”

“ _Would you **come** on?” _Byleth makes a motion with his hand to Edelgard, “Well, Edelgard?”

_“Where are we even going?”_

_“Home. I’ll get rid of this stupid get up once we get away from here.”_

Edelgard sighs and gets up, “Well, Bycleth. Shall we go …somewhere and talk?”

“Ah, yes. I would love to buy a lovely lady a drink.” Byleth links his elbow with Edelgard and gives her a soft tug, “What would you like?”

“A gin and tonic, please.” She says as they leave the vicinity of the booth. Edelgard hears Dorothea moaning something about the _stone_ cold Edelgard getting action for once and she feels her blood simmer slightly. They’re at the bar _again_ and she let’s go of Byleth’s arm. “When … when did you do _this?"_

“When you went back to argue with Dorothea. Stepped out back, kicked it with this chill ass homeless dude who was tripping out balls. Changed right in front of him and I told him I was a demon and about to go save my lady from some fiends.” Byleth rolls his eyes, “Anyway, what are we doing? Let’s _go_.”

“We have to make this look convincing.” Edelgard says, “I’m sorry, but there’s a procedure for these kind of things. Girl … stuff and all.”

“ _What_?” Byleth groans, “Edelgard.”

“I left my bag and coat in the booth to come over here and pretend like I was talking to you, to _hear_ you out. We have to wait a minute before we go to the booth and I can get my stuff and leave…” Edelgard sighs, “Look, it’s not in my nature to just waltz off with some guy that I just _met_.”

“It’s not in your nature to summon demons either.” Byleth remarks, taking a swig of his own drink, “How long are you going to have us wait here, anyway?”

“Maybe ten … twenty minutes?” Edelgard replies, “I’m _sure_ we can find something to talk about in that time.”

Byleth cradles his glass in his hand, readjusts himself on stool, “I want to go back to being a girl and _get out_ of this underwear.”

“Oh, because you’re just _so_ big.” Edelgard rolls her eyes, “You’re always whining.”

“It’s the _truth_.” Byleth whines for added emphasis.

“I’m changing the subject. I don’t want to hear about your demon junk.” Edelgard looks at him, “…Am ... am I a bad friend?”

“Oh, _no_. I’m not playing therapist to a bunch of human girl problems tonight.”

“I’m serious, Byleth.” Edelgard turns around in her stool and sighs, “It’s just … I didn’t really have girl friends until I got to college. I’ve always had Hubert, sure. But he’s a _guy._ And I … “

“So why don’t you just hang out with him?” Byleth has no chance. They’re going to talk about girl problems tonight. The _one_ time when they’re not a girl.

“Because he’s a _guy_.” Edelgard remarks, “Girls. When girls talk to other girls, there’s just this kind of … thing. That’s there.”

“Backstabbing? Jealousy?” Byleth tries.

“ _No_. Like. A softness. An understanding. We just get each other.” Edelgard licks her lips, “Isn’t it the same with your … fellow …demons?”

“Uh. Sure? I guess?” Byleth shrugs, “Claude’s the closest thing I’ve got to a friend in Hell.”

“…Who the _hell_ is Claude?”

“My right hand man. Trickster demon. Very sneaky, master of espionage and sabotage. Great guy. Maybe you’ll meet him one day.”

“Right…” Edelgard’s upper lip inches up, like she’s trying to sort her thoughts out, “It’s just that … from when you’re _young_ there’s always this insane unspoken competition that we go through. Who gets their period first, who’s growing boobs first. Who kisses the cutest boy in the class first. Who’s becoming a _woman_ first.”

“Sounds absolutely terrible.”

“Don’t patronize me.” Edelgard grumbles, pointing in Byleth’s face. “It _is._ Fuck. That’s why I always latched onto Hubert. He was as much of an outcast as I was. And we _worked_. We didn’t have to talk about who was bleeding or who outgrew their latest training bra.”

Byleth’s shivers, “Okay. _Okay_. You can stop talking about female reproduction now.”

“What’s wrong with you? You honestly can’t be squeamish about a little bit of blood coming out from between someone’s legs.”

“No, I’m not. I just. I won’t talk about my junk being suffocated to death if you stop talking about your female problems.” Byleth waved his hands. Hm, maybe switching genders _did_ affect his brain. Just a tiny bit. El, was right. It _was_ just blood.

“Well, jokes on you. Guess what. I’m on my period _now_.” She slurs. Oh, there it was. The breaking point.

“That’s great, Edelgard.” Byleth sighs, “Have we spent enough time here?”

“ _NO_.” She hails the bartender, “I wanna talk to you some more.”

“Really? I thought I talked way too much.”

“Well, it’s helpful now.” She says, ordering a new drink. That was … the fourth one? Fifth one? She had lost count. Edelgard groans, “I just … wish … that I was like the other girls.”

“ _Why_?” Byleth asks, “You’re fine as you are.”

“Is that a compliment?” Edelgard asks, eyebrows rising in vague amusement, “I just… sometimes wish I could be as loose as them. Or like, attract people like them. Or be able to tell stories of my latest conquest and giggle like an absolute idiot about it. But, no. Instead, I’m cold. Standoffish. Stuck-up. A _princess_. They always call me a princess.”

“Like I said, is there something _wrong_ with that?”

“No. It’s who I am. I’ve had enough people telling me I was wrong and trying to beat this out of me for long enough… literally.” Edelgard mutters and then pauses to think about her choice of words, “…You didn’t hear that.”

“Beating?” Byleth’s eyebrows rise, leaning in closer, “ _Edelgard_.”

“It’s the alcohol.” She says, downing the rest of her drink, “It’s none of your business, Byleth.”

“Is someone hurting you?” Byleth asks, “If they are, I’m legally obligated as your personal demon … uh …”

“Butler?” Edelgard tries. She laughs. Pure and unfiltered. That was cute.

“…Sure. Whatever.” Byleth is undeterred by her trying to change the subject, “I’m serious. Is someone _hurting_ you?”

“Not anymore, Byleth. That’s past.” She waves her hand in dismissal, “Not much we can do about it anyway.”

 _Says who?_ He thinks to himself and checks the clock. “Was that enough time spent jabbering about absolutely nothing for you? Can we _leave_?”

“Yeah, sure. Let me go get my coat and tell the girls that the nice, pretty, _boy_ that wanted to talk to the delicate vessel of _Godliness_ wants to take me home for the night.” Edelgard nearly stumbles as she gets off her stool, “Probably get Dorothea to shut the fuck up for awhile, too. You’re a wonderful actor, you know?”

Byleth doesn't reply as he watches Edelgard saunter off, humming to herself about _fucking girls night._ He sighs as he downs the rest of his drink. She was _wasted_.

…Fucking girls night, _indeed_.

—

Edelgard is a hot fucking mess and can’t even walk straight.

She giggles as she falls into Byleth for what seems like the third time, when he’s decided he’s had enough. He’s already got his arm around her waist to keep her steady. Surprising for someone who always yells at him when he so much as breathes in her direction.

Edelgard nuzzles his chest and giggles again, “Whoops.”

“Look, _Bambi_. Can you learn to put one foot in front of the other?” Byleth asks, strengthening his hold on her waist as she careens into him again, “And stop nuzzling me like some type of deranged house pet.”

“I can’t.” Edelgard giggles, “You’re so … _solid_.”

“I’m not gonna even ask what that means.” Byleth mutters under his breath.

She trips again, he loses his hold on her and she lands on her ass, almost bringing Byleth down in the process. She’s cackling right now. That’s _it_. He’s had it being in this corporeal form, it was time to get home already. Byleth draws a sigil in the air above them, grabs Edelgard’s drunk ass in a bridal style and stares her down.

She looks at him, snickers and pokes his cheek, “Your eyes are _red_. Is that supposed to be scary?”

He doesn’t even answer as her as he tightens his hold on her—she squeaks—and lifts off into the fucking sky. Edelgard clutches tightly at him, _good_ , she wasn’t that far gone. He lands with a heavy thud on top of a roof above them and looks at her, “ _No_. I’m tired of you drunkenly tripping all over everything and I’m going to get you home.”

Edelgard’s fingers are winding in the cloth of his shirt, “Oh my _fucking—_ can anyone see us right now? I don’t wanna be seen flying through the sky like a lunatic. Everyone already thinks I’ve lost my mind to begin with.” She pauses, “Well, at least Hubert believes me.”

“The only _solid_ person you have in your life.” Byleth comments, rather coldly, and takes off for the rooftop of another building. “And, no, we’re in the in-between. The realm I exist in when only you can see me.”

“How can you say that?” Edelgard asks, the wind rushing around them and ignoring his explanation. “You hardly _know_ the girls.”

Byleth pauses, takes a minute to survey their surroundings. Hm, north? They were going in the right direction, “Edelgard. You just spent a night crying to me about how your _friends_ make you feel inadequate. I’ve _never_ seen Hubert do that.”

“Not inadequate. Just … different.” Edelgard replies, her voice growing quiet.

“Same thing.” Byleth replies, landing on another rooftop, only to take off again. He turns to look at her in the darkness of the night, “Please. Go ahead and kill me if I ever do the same.”

“You’ve only _really_ upset me once.” Edelgard replied, “Everything else is just annoying. …I guess. I have fun with you sometimes.”

“ _Really_?” That was news to him.

“Yeah.” Edelgard nods, “Like shopping today. You changed all the prices so I could get that cute dress for a _steal._ And coffee. Always getting me all the free coffee I want. I like it when you’re not causing mayhem and destruction… like when you set that coffee shop on fire the other day.”

“I’m a demon, Edelgard. That’s _kind_ of what we do.”

“You know, you’re different when you’re in this … guy get up.” Edelgard comments, “More serious. Toned down. Like you’re going to cut someone’s head off if they look at you wrong. Do … demons have testosterone?”

“I’m still the same Byleth whether I’m a man or a woman.” Byleth comments, landing on the top of a spire of a church. He picks one of his feet up and wobbles slightly as he looks down and grimaces, “Ugh. This place is terrible.”

“Yeah… I don’t like religion either.” Edelgard muses, “Religious nut jobs. Those are one of my pet peeves.”

“What else don’t you like?”

“You know that already. _Rats_. …Water. Large _bodies_ of water. Pools are …okay, I guess.” Edelgard comments offhandedly.

“Why?” He knows the answer, he was just playing dumb.

“When I was little, I almost drowned in my father’s pool. Terrible. Don’t remember it. Just … don’t want to remember it.” Edelgard replies, “Do you have anything you fear, Byleth?”

He shrugs, “Angels? Not really a fear, they’re just… gross.”

Edelgard nods, “I guess that makes sense. Being a demon and all.”

Byleth takes another leap into the air and almost sighs in relief. There’s her fire escape. He lands with a softer landing and sets her down. He gestures, “Well. Open the window.”

“I _can’t_.” Edelgard pushes at it, “It’s locked.”

Byleth sighs in annoyance— _really_ —he had to do everything tonight. He grasps a hold of Edelgard’s hand and pulls her through the wall as she yelps. They tumble onto her bed and she rolls over, her feet hitting the floor. He bounces slightly, sitting upright and looks down at her, “…Do you need anything?”

She shakes her head, “No… hm … maybe some water. All that flying through the air kinda made me nauseous … maybe might have sobered me up.”

Byleth snaps, hands her a glass of water. “Here.”

“You’re just so helpful tonight.” She chuckles. Nope, still drunk. Sober Edelgard didn’t laugh or _smile_ quite as much, “Byleth, for what it’s worth. I’m glad you came tonight.”

“Sure.” Byleth answers, waving a hand so that the seal between the real world and his realm are separated again. He stands up, arms crossed over his chest. “You’re back in the human domain now. Go get some rest.”

“Aww, are you leaving so soon?” Edelgard asks, as she sets the glass down, “ _Byleth_. Don’t go just yet.”

“I have to get back to Hell. There’s something that needs my attention.” He mutters, somewhat distracted.

Edelgard chuckles. She had _never_ seen Byleth this serious before. Enraged, yes. Annoying, definitely. Playful? In a weird demonic way, yes. But, so stoic and serious? Not in the least. She gets up from her bed and leans forward to hug him, “ _Byleth_.”

“Goodnight, Edelgard.” And he’s gone.

Edelgard almost falls forward when the demon disappears from her room. She feels like pouting, just a little. Well, _fine_. He could go be grumpy back in Hell. Maybe it was the chafing from the ladies underwear. Who cares? He’d probably be right back in the apartment bright and early to annoy her the next morning.

Edelgard stretches and yawns. She was drunk, probably better to go to sleep now than stay up and nurse a hangover in the morning. She kicks her shoes off, takes off the essentials and gets into bed, rolling over to snuggle with her hidden teddy bear. Stupid demons. Well, he _had_ gotten her out of that situation tonight. So maybe he wasn’t so stupid. He was kind of … _chivalrous_ tonight.

Edelgard yawns again and rolls over. She chuckles to herself at something he had said earlier. That _…beautiful creature that caught me off guard from across the room…_ ha. Ha. Hahahaha. Silly demon. Her? _Beautiful_? Byleth was fucking with her.

Always had. Always _would_ be.


	8. The Art of Chess

Another meeting in the Chambers Of Lucifer. Another day listening to Paimon and Belial arguing about shit about the break room. Another _fucking_ headache.

Byleth sneers as she peers down at the idiots currently pointing fingers at one another at the bottom of the room. She had been having her dream of _finally_ laying dominance to Edelgard when Lucifer had shown up— _whoa, sorry there, Byleth, don’t mean to interrupt. But we have a meeting in ten—_ a leer at the dream version of Edelgard panting underneath Byleth— _hm, I don’t remember her being that limber—GEEEEETTTT_ OUT **ALREADY** , LUC!

She has appeared in her throne, five minutes later, irritated _and_ horny. She, _really_ , wasn’t in the mood.

Paimon has the floor now. Paimon _always_ has the floor. “ ** _BELIAL_**. YOU WHINY **_LITTLE BITCH_**. ALL YOU DO IS WHINE ABOUT WHAT THE **_FUCKING COFFEE_** DOES TO YOUR **_TEETH_**. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO THE **DENTISSSSTTTTT**!!!” Paimon roars, no one winces this time. They’re used to this outburst about coffee by now. “ ** _LUCIFER_**! WE STILL DON’T HAVE **_THE PROPER TEA_** IN THE BREAK ROOM. THAT IS THE **TRUE TRAVESTY** OF **_TODAY’S MEETING_**.”

Belial winces at the stench and hot air Paimon radiates from his mouth, “You could probably _do_ with a good teeth scrubbing or two.”

Byleth shifts in her seat and sighs. _Fuck_ , Vine is looking at her again. She’s still not over that pity fuck from last week is she? Please don’t cry, please don’t cr—Vine covers her face and looks away— _never mind_. She chances a glance at the other idiots that occupy the chambers.

Baal and Asmodai, who have remained largely silent, currently have a map of Iran laid out in front of them. Mutterings of _terrorists_ and _army tanks_ leave their section of the room. Balam is currently … _grooming_ his bear. Byleth has to look away before the she grows even more disgusted than she already is. Purson has traded his drug of choice for acid today and has mistaken Zagan for a leg rest. Zagan doesn’t look like he minds though; he’s already passed out on the floor from his alcohol consumption.

Byleth sinks her blood red fingernails into her stone seat. Lucifer was _really_ starting to go soft, wasn’t he? All that raw food and green smoothies. He was losing his touch. The Chambers of Lucifer had never looked this … well, _pathetic,_ before. Fuck, Purson _was_ never allowed into this place unless he was sober. Zagan, too, with his alcohol. Paimon used to have to hit a _buzzer_ to speak because he was so damn loud. And Vine? When did Vine turn into such a weepy and overemotional little bitch? Sure, she had always been emotional, but she was always able to keep the tears to a minimum. Balam. Well. Can’t say much for that. At least Baal and Asmodai still have some _fucking_ sense. She can feel the fire rising in her throat and her head is going to explode if she doesn’t let it out.

“AND ANOTHER THING—“ Paimon is about to launch into a rant about nutrients again when Byleth has _had_ enough.

“SHUT. THE. **_FUCK_**. **UP**.” Byleth screams at Paimon and a deathly silence falls over the room, “ARE YOU ALL _SERIOUS_ RIGHT NOW? YOU CALL YOURSELVES THE _KINGS_ OF HELL? ALL YOU EVER DO IS _WHINE_ ABOUT **FUCKING** COFFEE BEANS AND RAW BEAN MACROS OR SOME OTHER DUMB **SHIT**.”

“ _Whoa.”_ Purson mutters, sinking down into his seat and removing his legs off Zagan’s back, “Brah, I think you better get back to your _seat._ Byleth looks like he’s about to chop some heads, man.”

Zagan sprawls out on the floor, not paying attention, “Ah, how lovely.”

Byleth continues, “THIS IS A _COURT OF_ **_LUCIFER_** _._ HAVE YOU ALL LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS?” She hears a sniffle to her left and snaps an eye on Vine, “ _Vine,_ if you don’t stop it with _those_ ** _tears_**.”

Vine sniffs, snaps to attention. “Yes. So…sorry, Byleth.”

“ ** _NOW_** **.** If the stupid _comments_ have finally ceased, I would _like_ to adjourn this meeting.” Byleth looks at Lucifer, “A word, Luc?”

Lucifer blinks. Uhm, _okay_. What was all of _that_ about? He nods to Byleth, “…Sureeee, Byleth.” He hits his gavel upon his podium, “That’s all for today, guys.”

The demons all file out the room muttering _fucking, Byleth_ and _needs to get laid, probably_ and then the Chambers of Lucifer goes quiet. Byleth takes a deep breath and descends from her throne to stand before Lucifer. “Sorry. For the outburst.”

“No, _no_.” Lucifer takes off his glasses and shakes out his wild mane of fire. He motions for Byleth to follow him into his office. The door closes behind them as Byleth takes a seat and Lucifer throws some papers on his desk, “It was appreciated. I couldn’t stand another moment of someone whining about something stupid again.”

“What is _wrong_ with everyone lately?” Byleth mutters under her breath.

“I think …” Lucifer lowers his voice, adverting his eyes, “Byleth. Do you think I’ve gone … _soft_? Please answer this honestly.”

Byleth sighs, _Yes_. “No.”

“Byleth, I just heard your thoughts. Don’t _lie_ to me, I can take it.” Lucifer stares at her sternly.

“Somewhat. Things have gotten kind of … _lax_ around here, don’t you think?” Byleth asks, rising a scrutinizing eyebrow.

“Maybe it's the veganism.” Lucifer says, “I’m just so _damn_ hungry all the time. I can barely think my way through meetings.”

“Why… don’t you just, you know, _stop_ being vegan?”

“Maybe after I complete this two week green juice flush. Then I’ll give it up.” Lucifer thinks, “I mean, the weight loss is _addicting_.”

Byleth looked at him and shrugged in agreement. She couldn’t lie, Luc was looking a _lot_ more cut and lean as of late. “Anyway… I came to talk to you about something.”

“And that is?” Lucifer asks.

“I’m doing some … research on someone. Someone quite … _nefarious_. And I need permission to access the Hall of Memories.” Byleth replies.

“Ah. This is about _Edelgard_ , is it not?” Lucifer opens his planner, “Absolutely not, Byleth.”

“ _Why_ not?” Byleth moans like a crotchety teenager.

“I know you’ve been snooping around in her family’s files. Claude has been making way too many trips to the Filing Department as of late and pulling too many files for _official business_ as he keeps telling the secretaries there.” Lucifer looks up at her, “Whatever it is you’re looking for isn’t in those files for a reason. It’s private. This may be _Hell_ , but there’s some stuff that needs to be kept from even _our_ general public. Namely certain _kings_ of Hell who seem to be a bit _too_ wrapped up in their current blood oath as of late.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Byleth frowns, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I don’t know, you _tell_ me. You’re _barely_ down in Hell anymore. All you do is sit there wistfully staring at the ceiling and smiling to yourself like you’re listening to a conversation no one else can hear.” Lucifer replied, “You’re never at the mandatory orgy parties anymore. And if you _are,_ you leave after having sex with just one or two people max. You only go drinking with Claude. I haven’t seen you go fishing _once_ on the Styx in these last two months. What’s going _on,_ Byleth?”

“Nothing.” Byleth avoids his pointed gaze, “I’m just … busy. With tax codes. And math. And stuff.”

“Are you _sure_?” Lucifer leans in, “Look, if this relationship with Edelgard is getting out of hand, you know it’s my job to step in and sever things, right?”

“It’s _fine.”_ Byleth says as she gets to her feet and pushes her chair back. She stares at Lucifer who gives her a look of ambivalence. Of _course_ he didn’t believe her. She growls under her breath and bows, thanking him for his time, and leaves.

Lucifer watches Byleth’s retreating form and sighs wearily. He leans back in his chair, listening to the sounds of screaming coming from beyond his window. Ah, what a wonderful delight that was. He leans forward, picks up his desk phone and dials a number, “Hello, Veronica? Ah, yes. How are you doing? Yes, yes, this is Lucifer... yes, please put me through to Sothis.”

—

Byleth pauses in the tunnel of the Sixth Level Prison of Permanent Recapitulation and looks behind her. She throws the hood up over her head and makes her way to one of the gates and pauses before the guard there. He clenches his spear, ready to stab any person who dares to stalk into these halls—but then stops. He recognizes that form. An instant salute, “King Byleth.”

She chances a tiny gaze at him, “Hey, Fred. Can you let me in?”

He glances around him and lowers his voice, “Lucifer has been inquiring about your movements as of late. Wants everyone to start keeping an eye on you for a little bit.” Fred nods his head towards the gate, “I won’t tell him you were here, but _be_ quick.”

Byleth rolls her eyes, _figures._ “Aren’t I always?”

Fred waves her through, “Ten minutes _max_ before the other patrols start coming through. I’ll make a nuisance of myself if you need time and we have to stall them.”

She places a firm hand on his bony shoulder and squeezes, “You’re a fine man, you know that?”

“Such praise, your Horribleness. I am but a lowly soldier guarding a gate from fools.”

“Well, you already let _one_ in.” Byleth chuckles, “Thanks, I’ll be quick.”

Fred nods and the gate shuts behind her as she descends onto the pathway. Byleth passes by numerous holding cells with souls all lost in a haze of dysfunction. She hated the moaning of this place. Screaming? That was okay. But the moans of the delirious and lost… that was a little more heartbreaking. They don’t notice her as she makes her way, looking for one in particular. Ah. There _he_ was.

Byleth stops and sits down in front of the gate. She looks up at the man inside of it, his head nodding every which way, drooling on himself. He’s muttering to himself just like the other people. Byleth inhales and steels herself.

“Dad.” She begins, leaning forward, “It’s … been awhile, hasn’t it?”

Jeralt seems to faintly register her presence as he looks up at her, “…Si …tri?”

“Sure. She’s right here with me, too.” Byleth mumbles, “How are you? Are they treating you okay in here?”

Jeralt coughs and falls over onto the floor. He convulses and stares up at Byleth. Sitri. _Sitri_ had come to visit him again. Oh, joy. How he _missed_ her wonderful smile. His eyes soften, “Sitri. _Sitri_.”

“Yeah. Dad. Mom’s right here. She’s always _right_ here, you know?” Byleth crosses her legs and sits down on the ground, “Got a little update for ya. Got a new charge. Her name is Edelgard. Heh, she’s kinda cute. Bratty. Can’t stand her sometimes, but she’s all right. I’ve had worse.”

“Sitri.” Jeralt rolls over onto his back, closing his eyes. “ _Sitri_. _”_

“I guess you have a couple of thousand more years of this before they even think about letting you join general population right?” Byleth asks, “I’ve asked Luc if he could make your sentence a little lighter … but …even as a _king_ of Hell, I don’t have a lot of power in these agreements, you know?”

He blinks again. Is that… is that _Byleth_ now? “Sitri? By… Byleth?” His wife, his child. They’ve finally come _back_.

Byleth nods in encouragement, “Yeah. We’re both here, dad. I told you that.” She looks over her shoulder and can see Fred waving from behind the gate. She didn’t have much time left, “Listen, dad. I’m taking good care of mom… and I still have the protection from you as well.” She twists her father’s old warding ring around her finger, “Thanks for this. Might have died if I didn’t have it, you know?”

Jeralt reaches out a desperate hand, “ _By…leth_.”

“It’s always good to see you… but, I have some business to attend to. Gotta figure out how to get into the Hall of Memories to look up some stuff. You got any good ideas?” Byleth asks, not really expecting an answer.

Jeralt just stares at her, his mouth gaping open. Drool falls out. She adverts her gaze. She hates seeming him like this.

“Yeah, guess you’re right. I’m not even supposed to be going there. But, I need some information that’s stored there in relation to Edelgard… it’s important.” Byleth looks at him, her gaze softening, “You would do the same for mom right? If someone had done something terrible to her and you needed to know the truth?”

He makes a desperate— _ah, ah—_ sound.

“I _knew_ you would agree.” Byleth grasps her hood and gets to her feet, “I gotta go now, Dad. And mom’s going with me, too, okay? We’re gonna be safe, don’t worry. I’ll come see you again soon… okay?”

Jeralt blinks slowly, “Byleth. _Byleth_. Si … Sitri… _come_ …back.”

Byleth heaves a heavy sigh and feels something sting in the middle of her nose. She turns away from him, “I’ll be back, Dad. Stay well.” She pulls her hood over her head and heads back to the gate. Fred opens it wordlessly and Byleth passes through with her head down and a curt nod. The demon guard watches her retreat off into the darkness and pretends he doesn’t notice that her face is wet.

—

Byleth is on Edelgard’s bed reading some gossip tabloid while Edelgard is working on some type of digital sketch on her computer. Her inspiration for the day is … well, Byleth can’t really see. But Edelgard keeps glancing over her shoulder every now and then and saying to herself, _no_ , _not right. Wider eyes… smaller nose._ Byleth had _tried_ to see what she was doing, but Edelgard had shooed her away.

Edelgard reaches for the pint of honey earl grey ice cream on her desk and moans in defeat, “I can’t do this anymore.”

“That’s fine.” Byleth remarks, “Take a break.”

Edelgard continues like she hasn’t even heard Byleth, “And all this _ice cream_ I’ve been buying. I’m so _stressed_ out. Do you know how much I’ve been _eating_ this past week? I ate a whole pizza by myself on Monday night when I got home, I’ve been doing nothing but stuffing my face with ice cream and _cake_ —that _cake_ that Hubert brought home the other day from the coffee shop. Oh my _fucking, God,_ Byleth.”

Byleth flips a page, cuts an eye at her charge. “Is …that a _problem_?”

“…And my hours down at the gallery have increased because they’re opening a new exhibition soon. I had to start my shift late at the toy store because I was up so late trying to get these emails and correspondence out the other night.” She looks up at Byleth, “I’m _trying_ to take care of myself.”

“Doesn’t really sound like it.”

“Maybe you’re right. I’m getting _fat_.” Edelgard cries, as she spoons more ice cream into her mouth, “I’ll never forget my Aunt Cornelia used to _grab at_ my stomach and tell me how much weight—“

Byleth finally looks away from her magazine, “For fucks sake, _El_. You’re not _fat_.” She snaps, cutting Edelgard out of her monologue. Her eyes do an honest appraisal of Edelgard’s body. Still visibly noticeable collar bones, supple breasts, hmm … maybe her thighs were looking a little tighter in those short ass pajama bottoms of hers.

Edelgard seems to notice those eyes roving over her body, “ _Stop it.”_

Byleth licks her lips and gives Edelgard a vague predatory look, “Besides, I like my girls with a bit of meat on them. More _cushion_ for the pushing.” Byleth leaves out the part where she’s been _thinking_ of what Edelgard looks like during the pushing. A lecherous grin comes to her face. Oh, if only she could recall that _dream_ before Lucifer had interrupted. What sounds was she making? Short? Quiet? Contained?

Edelgard blushes and turns away from Byleth, “Your _girls_? Who said I was _your_ girl?”

Byleth chuckles, throws the magazine on the floor. “You’ve always been my girl, _silly_. Since our fateful meeting back in September. What’s it been now? Three months?”

“Has it really…?” Edelgard blinks. She looks to her window and sees nothing but _cold_ and darkness. It’s December and they’re getting closer and closer to winter now. _And_ the holiday season. All the lights strewn about the town, the stupid pine trees that everyone wastes by cutting them down and throwing them up in their houses. Ugh, she _hates_ this time of year.

“You know Christmas is a pagan holiday, right?” Byleth reminds her, “Don’t tell the Christians that, though. They’ll lose their fucking minds. I mean why _lie_ and say you’re trying to celebrate the birth of Jesus? Just have fun with your second coming of the winter solstice and let loose.”

“I hate this season.” Edelgard remarks, “I _abhor_ it, actually.”

“Well then. We’re in agreement on something.” Byleth says, “It’s just so damn cheerful. And everyone is singing about _Sothis_ and her stupid rebirth. And _ugh_. Hell usually throws an anti-Christmas party around this time. It’s a real _fucking_ rager. I should bring you … as my plus one.”

Edelgard turns back to her work, “Is this like … a company Kings of Hell party or something?”

“Nah, it’s _all_ of Hell. Lucifer let’s everyone go buck fucking wild for one night. I pity the clean up crew.” Byleth smiles, “What are you drawing over there anyway?”

“ _Don’t_ you dare look.” Edelgard shrieks, turning the computer monitor and hiding the tablet in her lap.

Byleth appears behind her in an instant. Her features soften. “Is that … is _that_ me?”

Edelgard shrieks, “I _command_ you to get out of my room! _Now_!”

Byleth hates that her feet are turning her around and marching her out of Edelgard’s room. She tries to turn her head, but nope. Banished. Forever. _No, just the time being_. Edelgard seemed to be okay with her being so close these days. The door slams after Byleth is back outside in the living room, “That _was_ me, wasn’t it? Hey, open up! I wanna see what you’re drawing in there!”

“No!” Edelgard yells back, defiant.

“Don’t _you_ tell me no. I’ll … I’ll …” Byleth stops herself. She isn’t going to do anything. But stand outside the door and sulk. “ _Edelgard_. Please? I already had a shitty day today. Being in your room is nice and calming. Can I just come back in. I … I promise I won’t look.” She crosses her fingers.

“I don’t trust demons to keep their word.” Edelgard mutters.

“I’ve kept mine until now, _haven’t_ I?” Byleth reminds her.

“…Fine.” Edelgard sighs, “You may _enter._ But you _may not_ look.”

“Yay!” Byleth is gleeful, opens the door back up and walks in. She falls over onto Edelgard’s bed and picks up the discarded magazine on the floor.

Edelgard growls again, looks at her, and then erases something on the tablet. “…This looks like shit. I can’t do this anymore. This stupid portrait assignment is due tomorrow and it looks like _shit_.”

Byleth looks up at her, “Need a distraction?”

“If you’re offering…” She pauses, “Nothing destructive.”

“Maybe your pride.” Byleth replies. She snaps her fingers and a chess board poofs into existence, “Behold. The most destructive game in the history of all existence. _Chess_.”

Edelgard gives her a judgmental look, “ _Chess_?”

“Yeah.” Byleth replies, adjusting the pieces on the board, “Why? You scared Edelgard? Bawk, _bawk_ , are you a chicken? Afraid you’ll lose to the big bad demon?”

“I don’t _play_ chess.” Edelgard remarks, clicking around on her computer, “Hubert does. You should ask _him_ to play.”

Byleth picks up the black King and twirls it around in her hand, “I’m asking _you_ to play. I’ll even take it easy on you so I don’t destroy you to bad.” She leans back on Edelgard’s bed, “Come on, El. This is your chance to try and kick my ass at something. What are you afraid of?”

“Fine. _Fine.”_ Edelgard gets out of her chair and brings her tablet over. She turns it off and sits opposite Byleth. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, you’re white first off.” Byleth gestures. “You go first.”

Edelgard picks up a piece, the Queen, and puts it in front of a pawn. “There. Checkmate. The end.”

Byleth looks at the Queen and then up at Edelgard, careens to the side and starts laughing, “What was _that_?” She asks, “You don’t know how to play, do you? Is that it? This _is_ a pride thing isn’t it?”

“It’s just… this game is so _boring_.” Edelgard whines as she picks up her tablet and looks at Byleth to resume her drawing from before. She erases the arm she drew before, makes the hair a bit more fluffy and wild. …Should she even _add_ the fangs?

“Now, you see. Every piece in the game of chess _has_ a purpose.” Byleth picks up a small cylindrical shape, “The Pawn. Your first line of defense. In ancient times, these things probably represented serfs or poor merchants. Not really that strong, but there. They take the first brunt of the assault. Not super useful, but use them wisely, and you can buy time to plan your assault.”

“Really?” Edelgard snorts, “And just how many _pawns_ do you have?”

“I have eighty five legions of demons under my command. I’ll let you do the math …” Byleth looks up, “Or not, since you’re so bad at it. Anyway, let’s continue.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes and points to the castle shaped one, “What’s that?”

“Ah, this. The Rook. Also known as the castle walls. Can your enemy scale them? Or have you fortified them enough before the assault? Better hope they don’t break in the process or you lose an essential part of your resources.” Byleth flips the small castle piece in between her fingers, “Your castle walls are pretty solid.”

“I’m… not going to even ask what that means. You could be saying I’m solidly protected or … talking about something else. Pervert.” Edelgard glances down at Byleth again, draws the smirk on her face as she holds the chess piece of her face. No, she’s drawing her crosseyed.

“Next. The Knight. The sworn protector of royalty within the palace walls.” Byleth mumbles, “If you had a knight… I would say Hubert is a pretty close representation of this piece.”

“What in the world do you mean by that?” Edelgard stops. Draws another fluff of hair near Byleth’s eyes.

Byleth sets the piece down, “I mean… you basically have a giant scary dude looming over one of your shoulders and a demon on the other. Who’s going to fuck with you when you’re protected like that?”

Edelgard scoffs, “I don’t need saving.” She points to the pieces closest to the king and queen, “What’s that weird diamond shaped one?”

Byleth frowns, “Ugh, the Bishop. Back in the olden days, the church was an important part of medieval life. So, hence this dude’s placement in the game. The _church_. _Religion_. Bah.” She chucks the bishop down, “I always saw it as them suffocating the king and queen to be honest.”

Edelgard draws a curve of Byleth’s hips, adds more length to her leather miniskirt she’s got on today, “Now. I know that the King is the most important piece in the game.”

“Ha, that’s where I disagree. The _Queen_ is actually the power player in this equation.” Byleth says as she moves the King into position and rearranges a couple of pieces around him. “Like this, I’m currently in _check,_ yeah? Oh, wait. No, I’m not. Here comes my Queen _killing_ some guy to save me. What a wonderful, powerful woman she is.”

“But isn’t it game over if the King gets captured?”

“Sure. The King is slow and cumbersome. He moves one space per turn in any direction. But it’s _one_ space.” Byleth picks up the Queen and waves it at Edelgard, “The Queen, however, she’s all over the board. Moves any number of spaces in whatever direction she wants. Now you tell me that isn’t power? To be everywhere at once? A good Queen is always two steps ahead of the King, whispering in his ear…”

Edelgard swallows, “Uhm…”

Byleth gets nearer, “… Trying to keep him on the straight and narrow, even when he’s an idiot and doesn’t listen.”

Edelgard doesn’t back away, “I… I suppose so.”

Byleth is almost nose to nose with her now, stares her down with those blue eyes of her. Edelgard can still make out the reddish tint behind them. She closes them and shakes her head, “A good Queen _knows_ how to protect her King, Edelgard.”

“S... sure she does.” Edelgard stammers out.

Byleth leans forward ready to chance getting slapped…. and is met with nothing but air. _What_ the hell? She opens her eyes and looks over to Edelgard’s desk. There the girl is, back at the computer again and furiously shading something on her tablet. “El?”

Edelgard looks at her, “Stay _right_ there. Don’t move.” She goes back to the tablet, “If you’re good, maybe I’ll let you see these.”

So Byleth doesn’t move. Sits up straight on Edelgard’s bed, staring at her as the girl moves around her, presumably capturing her _angles_. Edelgard grabs her chin, tilts it down, fluffs her hair out for dramatic effect. _Don’t smile. I need a neutral look_. She sits back down on the floor, Byleth just raises an eyebrow. This was humorous. It’s been twenty minutes when she asks Edelgard, “Are you done?”

Edelgard spins around in her desk chair and goes, “…Okay. Just … don’t laugh, okay?” She’s shaking. Why is she blushing so much?

“Just show me the damn picture, Edelgard.” Byleth reaches for the tablet before Edelgard is even ready and … _oh._

She’s been making sketches of Byleth. One of her laying down, holding the chess piece above her eyes and talking about nothing. A side profile, staring death at the person who was drawing her—Edelgard. A disgruntled and comical self portrait of Edelgard, saying, _shut up,_ and Byleth laughing. A _sleeping_ Byleth, that she must have conjured from memory.

“Well?” Edelgard asks, “Are they … any good?”

Byleth looks up at her and grins, “…Can you draw one of these on paper? I wanna take it back to Hell with me. Put it up in my office.”

Edelgard looks at the demon like she’s lost her mind, “You _can’t_ be serious.”

“I’ll even commission you. How’s that?” Byleth chuckles, “No. Really. I _like_ these. You’re really good, you know? Perhaps you don’t need my help after all.”

“Oh, shut up, Byleth.” She says, reaching under her desk for one of the larger drawing pads she kept stored. “Anything special that you want me to do?”

“Yeah.” Byleth replies dreamily, “Can you draw us having _sex_?”

—

Byleth’s face still… _hurts._

She finds herself sliding through the portal back to Hell on her face, with Edelgard’s drawing pad smacking against the top of her head. Maybe she had taken things a little too far. Oh well, fucking with her charge always seemed to lighten her mood. Edelgard had drawn herself murdering Byleth. The words, _you dying,_ and _me killing you,_ with tiny arrows over the illustration. It was _beautiful_. It was _almost_ as if she was in love.

Chuckling, Byleth pulled the picture from the drawing pad and affixed it to the wall next to her desk. God, her face still hurt from where Edelgard had slapped her. Oh well, just a _love tap_. She sighs, folds over Edelgard’s drawing pad, affirming to return it to her when she returns to the surface in the morning.

Sighing, Byleth finds her mirth disappearing as she looks at her desk and sees that Claude has added something new to the pile. She picks up the file and then the note that Claude has attached to it. _Ionius von Hresvelg. Edelgard’s father. Don’t know how much it’ll help you out, Chief, but it’s a place to start._ Byleth tosses the report onto her desk and looks back at the picture. A soft, sad smile comes to her features. She grabs a pen. Sets to work.

_Forgive me, El, if this takes me down a path you never wanted me to see._


	9. Blood Of The Fang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, I wish I can find the link for the actual fan art that El's painting is based on. It's gorgeous.
> 
> Anyway I basically had all my classes canceled so I was writing all day. Beginning to crack open the other half of this story with this chapter. Wheeeeee.

Byleth doesn’t like the tone of Edelgard’s voice when she pops back into the apartment, Edelgard’s drawing pad underneath her arm. It’s nighttime, Edelgard had probably spent her entire day at school and now ... probably spent all night doing homework. Grad school was such a fucking chore. Why put yourself through the torture?

The door to her room is cracked open as she stumbles into the living room and checks the apartment for signs of life. Hubert picks his head up as the hallway closet opens, sees the floating drawing pad— _hello, demon—_ and goes back to his book. Byleth is halfway across the room when he speaks again, “I would wait before you go in there. She’s on the phone with her _mother_. Not exactly the best moment to walk in there with your demon crap.”

Byleth frowns, “You wanna _go_?” But then realizes he can’t hear her. She’s not going corporeal to fight with El’s roommate. The girl would probably just kick her back into the closet, tell her to go back to Hell, and think about what she’s done. Byleth sighs, sits down on the couch and decides to wait.

When she hears Edelgard stop talking, she gleefully gets up. Hubert eyes the door being pushed open, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Byleth looks behind him and sticks her tongue out at his stupid head. Who was he to tell her where she could and _couldn’t_ go. She steps into the room and closes the door behind her, ready to have some _fun_. And yet… maybe things won’t be going exactly as Byleth planned.

Edelgard is at her desk, hair obscuring her face, scrolling through something on her phone. And that’s when Byleth feels it. That same _sadness_ from before… when she … drowned …her. _Sorry, sorry, sorry, it was just an illusion._ With resolve, she waltzes her way over to Edelgard’s desk and stands behind her. “ _Good_ evening, Edelgard.”

Edelgard startles and puts her phone down. She doesn’t look all the way over her shoulder. Just a small side glance, then she turns back to her desk. “Oh, Byleth.” She says, “Hi.”

Okay. So she wasn’t telling her to leave. Maybe things were okay? “I brought your art pad back.” Byleth waves it at her even though Edelgard still hasn’t turned around.

A sniff. She writes something down on the piece of paper in front of her. “That’s nice. Thanks.”

Byleth nods, “Uh _huh_. Hung your picture up in my office, too. Claude says he loves it. Thinks you’re a real artistic genius.”

Edelgard nods again, sniffs. “Sure.”

She’s not budging. Byleth presses a hand to her forehead and starts making nonsensical chitchat, “So. How was your day today? Lectures interesting? Work was long and arduous? Same old, same old?”

“Yeah.” Edelgard replies. Finally she takes a long shaky inhale of air. “Byleth.”

“Yeah?” The demon asks, poised to do something. _Anything._ Make her laugh, By. Do something _stupid_. Get her hot and feisty and kicking you out of her room.

Another sniff. She’s trying so hard not to cry right now. “I’m … I’m sorry. I just want to be alone for awhile.”

If Byleth has been a fan of the pointed ears look, they probably would have drooped by now. “...Okay... should I just ... go back to Hell, or...” She gestures, not knowing entirely what to do.

Edelgard finally turns to look at her, “I think that would be best.” Her eyes are ... kind of red, nose, too. Complexion blotchy. What in the world was that phone call about? She turns back around to scribble something in the notebook in front of her, “Come back tomorrow. You can follow me to school or whatever.”

Byleth watches her from behind, Edelgard rubbing at her face again with the sleeve of her shirt. She uses her hand to prevent a hiccup from escaping. _Don’t cry_.

With resolve, Byleth walks over to Edelgard’s desk and sets a heavy hand down on her head. Edelgard doesn’t even react when Byleth’s fingers massages her scalp for a bit, muses up her hair as a sign of affection. Her hand descends, she puts an arm around Edelgard’s shoulders. She leans down, plants a soft, chaste kiss on Edelgard’s cheek.

“I’ll see you in the morning then.”

Then she’s gone.

—

Claude’s shot lands with perfect precision. The balls clack on the green table and he lands three in one hit. He turns to Byleth and grins, “You _see_ that? I am _kicking_ your ass tonight.”

“Sure, Claude.” Byleth replies, more morose than usual.

“Oh, _jeez_. What happened with Edelgard _now_? You scare her again? Try drowning her? Did something stupid to upset her?” Claude asks, “What’s the deal, Chief?”

“No.” Byleth replies, pulling her pole back and lining up her shot. Fuck, how was she losing to _Claude_? Pool was her fucking _game._ She leans down and misses the cue ball. What the fuck. “She was just … sad tonight.”

“Why?” Claude asks, running some chalk on the top of his pole and leaning down to the table again, “You _sure_ you didn’t do anything?”

“No. It was some phone call with her mother. As per Hubert, her resident non-demon demon roommate.” Byleth answers, taking a swig of her whisky. This was her tenth drink of the night and she was _still_ sober. Fucking demon body. “I read the file you left me on Ionius.”

“Oh. Yeah. Sad shit.” Claude replied.

“That man … was _destroyed_ mentally. Wonder if Edelgard even goes to see him in his current state. …She should. Even if he doesn’t know she’s there. It’s … he’s still her father.” Byleth mutters, talking to no one but herself, “…Right?”

Claude shrugs. Shoots again, sinks two balls. “What if seeing him like that is too _much_?”

Byleth sets her glass down, “She … should maybe still try.”

Claude leans against his pole, maybe understanding what Byleth was thinking about, “You feeling okay? Wanna call it a night? It’s okay if you do, I gotta be up early anyway. Got some new tricksters under my belt that need breaking in. Gonna be a _long_ day of training.”

Byleth shrugs, “Let’s finish this game and call it a night.”

Byleth is about to take her own shot when there’s an alarm that starts sounding overhead and she mutters _fuck._ All the demons in the bar stand at attention and start filing out. Byleth sucks her teeth and throws her pole on the ground. _Now_ what? That was the stupid fucking _Rogue Angel_ alarm and it was _her_ night to answer it.

Claude points above him, “You gonna get that? It’s your night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I traded with Balam tonight. Fucking. Ugh. Of _all_ the nights.” Byleth waves an arm and assumes full demon form. “Let’s go see what all of this stupid mess is about. Probably just a false alarm.”

Byleth exits the bar and get’s on her motorcycle that’s parked out front, cursing at the fact that she has to drive in this stupid ass _cape._ She pushes the helmet on, curses at the horns that break the surface—looks like she was buying a new helmet when she got the chance—and Claude hops on the back. She kicks the bike into gear and they’re off.

It doesn’t take long to follow the alarm screaming about— _ROGUE ANGEL AT THE GATES OF HELL ROGUE ANGEL AT THE GATES OF HELL._ Byleth had tried to turn the stupid alarm off remotely, but it wasn’t responding. Stupid piece of broken shit. Was _everything_ in Hell broken or malfunctioning? Claude forms a transport sigil while she drives and sends them to the top layer to check out what all the commotion is about.

Byleth doesn’t care about the demons she eviscerates as her bike comes down to land on their squishy bodies. She just wants to see what the damn problem is and be on her way to her quarters for the rest of the night. Byleth parks the bite and Claude hops off the back to follow along. Demons are trying to give her updates as she walks past them, some cowering in fear at the sight of her. She really wishes they would stop. If they weren’t doing anything stupid, they wouldn’t have any reason to fear for their lives. As she nears the front of the crowd, ready to strike down this supposed rogue angel… Byleth … want to die laughing instead.

A demon comes up to her, salutes and starts explaining the situation, “Sorry’s to call you down here for something so stupid, King Byleth, but there’s this angel hea… who …” He gestures toward the small figure and her ringlet of green curls, who’s currently smiling, while waving her middle fingers at everyone and saying— _fuck you!—_ in the most cheerful way possible. He leans in, “…Kinda got a few screws loose, if you know what I mean.”

Byleth waves a hand and says, “I got it from here.”

The small figure turns around and her green eyes light up in excitement. “Fuck you, King Byleth!” She’s waving her middle fingers at Byleth as hard as she can.

There’s a collective gasp and _oh, shit_ that goes through the crowd of demons, but Byleth just smiles. Toothy and amused, “Flayn. A pleasure to see you again.”

It’s Flayn. That little angelic toddler from before. The _rogue_ angel is _Flayn_ , “Oh, boy, _really_?” She comes up to Byleth now and bows in deep reverence, “Oh! Look at you! You’re even prettier than the last time I saw you. Those horns look so sharp and shiny.”

Byleth pats her on the head and lowers herself so that they’re at eye level, “And just _what_ is a little angel like you doing down in big old scary Hell?”

Flayn smiles at her, “Oh! It’s not so scary! I had such a big welcoming committee to come and greet me.” She gestures toward the demons that currently have an array of swords, guns and spears pointed in her direction, “What an honor!”

“What an _honor_ indeed.” Byleth gets to her feet, waving off the demons. They mutter about the weirdo that Byleth seems to know and disappear off again to get back to whatever they were doing, “Are you lost?”

“Yes, actually, I am.” Flayn nods her head, “I was trying to find my way back to Earth and ended up here instead!”

Byleth blinks… how in the...? Nope, wasn’t going to ask. She reaches an arm behind Flayn’s shoulders and goes, “Well? How are we going to get you back?”

“I think I can call Lord Seteth to come and get me.” Flayn says, taking out her white and pristine phone, “Here, maybe you should call him. I think he’d feel better knowing I was with an adult.”

Byleth looks at the phone and sighs, “ _Sure_ , Flayn.”

Flayn dials Seteth’s number and hands the phone to Byleth, “Gee! You’re so nice! Thank you.”

Byleth holds the phone to her ears with two fingers, repulsed by angel germs. It rings twice and finally picks up. There’s a frantic voice on the other end yelling— _Flayn, Flayn, where in Sothis’ name are you?_ Byleth merely chuckles and goes, “Seteth. Long time no … _talk_.”

Seteth bristles at the sound of that voice on the other end, “ _Byleth_. What are you doing with Flayn’s phone?”

Byleth looks down at Flayn who’s currently pushing her fingers together and amusing herself with something childish before she continues, “Your little angel trainee wandered herself right into Hell, imagine that. You should be thankful that I was the one on duty tonight to retrieve her.”

Seteth clears his throat, “You … she _wandered_ off?”

“I don't know the full story. Look, I’ll look after your kid until you come and retrieve her. Just _hurry_ up, okay? You fucked up my game of pool, and I don’t take lightly to such _interruptions_.”

“Understood.” His reply is curt; “I’ll send an escort to retrieve her immediately.”

“Great. I’ll send you a pin. _Bye_.” And she hangs up the phone. She sets the pin to the bar that her and Claude were previously at, and then hands the phone back to Flayn. “Looks like they’re sending someone to come and get you, kid.”

Flayn bows again, “I’m sorry for all the trouble. Please do forgive my recklessness.”

Byleth smiles again, lowers her eyes, “It’s no trouble … little _angel_.”

—

They’re back at the bar, having settled the commotion from before. Flayn is seated next to Byleth with a full glass of orange juice in her hands. Claude can’t believe what’s happening right now. The demon bartender mutters something about— _children at the bar, what is this world coming to?—_ and wanders off.

Claude leans in, trying to stifle his laughter, “By, who the _hell_ is this?”

Byleth leans back, “Flayn. Trainee angel. Perpetually stupid. Amazed by _everything_. My current paparazzo. She’s harmless.” She turns to Flayn, “How’s your juice, Flayn?”

Flayn sips her orange juice and her eyes go wide, “ _Wow._ This is even better than what we get in Heaven! And that’s an eternal paradise!”

“Hm, maybe some things _are_ better in Hell.” Byleth muses to no one but herself.

Flayn turns to Byleth, “Thank you for being so kind to me back there! I’m still so lost when it comes to navigating the transports to Heaven and Hell! I thought that down elevator in Vilon was heading back to _Earth_ , but who knew that all those red arrows and buttons actually meant _Hell_.”

“Yeah, those elevators are tricky, huh?” Byleth grabs her whisky in hand, “You have to be careful now. Not every demon is as _nice_ as me. Wouldn’t want them to cut off your head and feed it to _Cerberus,_ now would we?”

Flayn laughs, “No! I guess not!” She looks around her in amazement, “So this is a _bar_?” She lowers her voice to a whisper, “Am I allowed to be in here? I’m not _even_ six hundred yet…”

“Oh, don’t worry, Flayn. You’re with me. It’s okay.” Byleth pats her head with some sort of disgusted affection, “Let’s drink your juice and wait for your escort back to Heaven, huh?”

“Yeah!” Flayn replies excitedly. She looks at Claude and sticks up her middle finger, “Oh, where are my manners. Fuck you! I’m Flayn.”

Claude has to stifle his laughter again and takes a swig of his drink, “Fuck you, too, Flayn. Claude.” Oh, what had Byleth _done_?

“Wow! Another _nice_ demon!” Flayn sips her juice in satisfaction, “They’re always so worried that I’m messing things up in Heaven, you know? Lady Rhea and Her Grace, Sothis that is. But I think I’m doing pretty well with this whole introductions in Hell thing, don’t you, King Byleth?”

Byleth snorts herself, “You’re doing excellent in bridging the gap in demon and angel relations, Flayn. You should be _proud_.”

“Such flattery.” Flayn hides her blush in her juice cup, “I don’t know what I should do. You know, Lady Rhea always says that accepting flattery is like getting praise from the Devil. Is this okay?”

“ _Sure_. You should pat yourself on the back when you do a good job.” Byleth encourages.

“Wow, what if I do _so_ well that they transfer me down to the Heaven Consulate down in Limbo? I’ve always wanted to live abroad!”

“I would be proud to have such a _hard working_ angel such as yourself working in such a prestigious position, Flayn.” Byleth falsely assures her. Really, the truth of the matter was, when people were put in as _transfers_ , that was code for an angel that was on their way to joining the ranks of the fallen. Jeez, that consulate was a _shitshow_.

Byleth is taking a sip of her drink when the door opens and she looks to see who’s entering the bar. Ah, Seteth, tight lipped with a visitor tag pressed tightly on his pristine and disgusting robes. Behind him trails a taller angel fitted in armor with a visitor tag as well. Byleth sticks her tongue out in disgust. Why are angels always so _glowy_.

Seteth nearly trips over himself as he runs over to where Flayn is sitting at the bar, “ _Flayn_.”

“Oh! Hi, Lord Seteth.” She sets her cut of juice down and gets off her stool. She smiles as he runs over and hugs her, “I’m okay! King Byleth took care of me again. She’s been doing that a lot lately.”

Seteth looks at Byleth and sneers, “I’m _sure_ she was taking care of you. Bringing you to this accursed bar with all of these … characters.” He surveys the demons sneering at him in return, “Come, let us be off. We have a _lot_ to talk about, Flayn.”

Her face seems to crumble, as if she’s about to cry, “Oh, _no._ Am I in trouble _again_?”

Seteth sighs, “No. We just have to have a little conversation about why wandering into _Hell_ is a bad idea. This place isn’t safe for new fledglings like yourself.”

Flayn wipes at her eyes and nods, “Understood. Let us be off.” She turns to Byleth and bows, “Thank you again, King Byleth. I hope to see you again…” She brightens up, “…Maybe … we can take another picture together for Lady Rhea?”

Byleth snorts, “A _fantastic_ idea, Flayn.”

“Oh! Thank _you_.” Flayn rushes out of the bar as the angel knight follows after her.

Seteth turns to look at Byleth, “You stay away from her, you hear?”

Byleth rolls her eyes, “ _She’s_ following _me._ Maybe you should tell Rhea to mind her fucking business for once? Always sticking her long and crooked nose into things where it doesn’t belong.”

Seteth wrinkles his nose, “How _dare_ you speak of the Immaculate One in such a way, why I just might …” He inhales and exhales, “…no, I shan’t waste my breath on soulless drivel such as you. Good _day_ , demon.”

Byleth waves as Seteth departs with Flayn, “Don’t let the door hit you on your fucking way out.” After they leave, she turns to Claude, “...Good riddance. You up for continuing that game of pool … or …”

“Nah. Like I said, long training day tomorrow.” Claude finishes the rest of his beer and shakes his head, “Let’s call it a night, By.”

“Sure.” She replies her thoughts drifting away from the Flayn debacle and back to more important things. Things that involved one _Edelgard von Hresvelg._ “I should get some sleep myself…”

—

If Edelgard thought anything of the kiss from the other day, she didn’t let on. Byleth finds her at her art gallery job that afternoon, running around in excitement. No nerves, no sadness, just pure, unadulterated _joy_. This … this was a new feeling for sure.

Byleth is leaning against Edelgard’s desk when the girl finally notices her. Edelgard’s eyes are huge and she runs over to Byleth, immediately pulling at the demon’s hands before she can even get a greeting in.

“ _Byleth_. I’m glad you’re here!” She says, letting go of the demon’s hand to open a door in front of them. She’s nearly _running_ down the stairs. What in the world has gotten her so excited?

“You are?” Byleth asks, eyebrows rising in amusement as she floats after Edelgard, “…You don’t need someone set on fire or something, do you?”

Edelgard doesn’t even pause as she shakes her head, “No. _No._ God’s no. This is way more important than killing innocent people!” As she hits the landing, she turns around, “Remember that new exhibition that I was telling you about?”

“Uh… kinda.” Byleth replies.

“Well. I never told you that I was the one that _curated_ half of it, did I?” She looks like she’s going to break the floor, she’s bouncing on her heels so hard. Edelgard doesn’t even wait for an answer as she throws open another door in front of them and nearly runs into the hallway.

“Would you _stop_ running?” Byleth chides as she lands on her feet, hands in her pockets. Edelgard isn’t listening; she’s already halfway down the hallway.

“No. _No!_ It’s here. The painting I’ve been trying to land for _months._ ” Edelgard says, “The department kept telling me I was shooting too big, it would _never_ happen. But, ha, fucking, _HA_.”

“You could have just … asked, you know. If you needed help or something.” Byleth shrugs as she phases through another door that Edelgard has shut in her face. Honestly, _where_ in the hell were they going? Why was this place built like a fucking maze?

Edelgard brings her into a room painted entirely in white with floor to ceiling windows. She runs up a long spiral staircase in the center of the room and comes back down as she’s pulling some type of black leather glove over one of her hands. She shakes her finger in Byleth’s face as she’s pulling on the other glove, “ _No_. No demon magic when it comes to the arts. You know that.”

Byleth glances around the room. There are so many … black drapes everywhere. This had to have been a viewing gallery of some sort. She looks at Edelgard who’s shaking so hard she looks like she’s about to burst, “Well. What is it then?”

Edelgard wanders over to a rather large painting that’s draped in the same black cloth as all the others, “ _This._ This is the beauty I’ve been seeking. I started talking to this guy back in _May_ for this baby. And now it’s finally here. Oh, Byleth. Wait until you _see_ it. It’s beautiful.”

Byleth gestures, “Well. I’m waiting. _Astound_ me, Edelgard.”

“Okay, okay.” She turns to Byleth, the purest of smiles on her face, “ _Behold._ ”

Edelgard pulls at the sheet that had been hiding the large portrait and Byleth’s eyes widen as she finds herself with a vision of the past that she hasn’t seen in … well, _years._

The portrait is of a woman, a demure smile on her face. Ornate golden crown securing her hair in place with tendrils falling down the front of her face. She’s wearing all red, her lavender eyes cast down on the painter in judgment. As she grips her throne with her right hand, she holds a grounded sword in her left.

Byleth ...can feel her chest _ache_. There _she_ is. As she walks up to the picture, she resists the urge to touch it. She almost wants to laugh. It’s like the past is coming back to punch her in the face and she can’t do anything about it.

Edelgard notices how quiet Byleth is and tilts her head, “Well… what do you think?”

“Where… where did you find _this_?” Byleth asks her, trying to keep the shakiness from out of her voice.

“We got it from somewhere in Europe. Probably … was originally painted in Russia or one of those Czech Republic places. It’s got that old time Dracula feel to it, doesn’t it?” Edelgard exclaims excitedly.

“Yeah. Sure does.” Byleth sounds … tired.

“Well. What do you _think_? It’s beautiful, right?” Edelgard rushes over to a table in the center of the room and comes back with a thick binder in her arms, “Let’s see… it’s called the _Flame Emperor.”_

 _“_ Flame Emperor, huh?”

Edelgard nods, “Yes. It says the following. _The Flame Emperor_. Her name lost to time, sought to tear down the Heavens, with blood and rage at her _side_.” Edelgard looks up at Byleth, “…Wonder who she was?”

Byleth blinks again. Oh, she _knows_ who this woman was. She knew this woman, _very_ well. “Hm. Name lost to time, huh?”

Edelgard nods, “You know, I brought Hubert over to see it earlier today. He says she kind of looks like me, but I don’t see _any_ resemblance though. I think he’s crazy.”

“He’s seen this?” Byleth asks.

Edelgard points to the picture, “Maybe if I dyed my hair white again, sure. I don’t know. But, it’s great, huh? What a _steal_. Like I said, it took me _months_ to make sure the gallery got this piece.” She tilts her head to the side, looking at the painting again and starts laughing, “I mean, _maybe_ , she’s like, distantly related or something. Maybe an ancestor. I think my family might have emigrated from that area a long time ago. What are the chances of that, huh?”

Byleth looks hard at Edelgard. There’s no jest in her voice. “Maybe it’s _you_.” Maybe she’s crazy.

Edelgard laughs at the sheer audacity of Byleth’s suggestion, “Yeah, _right_.” She turns around and begins walking off, “Anyway. I would love to stare at this all day, but I have to check on some other pieces. You coming? Or … do you wanna just … eye fuck this painting for a little while longer?”

Byleth shakes her head, not looking at Edelgard. “No. I want to stay here for a little while longer. Continue with your art nonsense, I’ll catch up.”

Edelgard blinks, walks up to Byleth and leans forward, “Are you … okay?”

Byleth nods, “Yeah. Like I said. I’ll _catch_ up.”

“ _Okay_ , then.” Edelgard gathers up her binder and rests her crossed arms against her hip, “Don’t burn down anything while I’m gone, will you?”

“Promise.” Byleth says, glancing wearily at her and then staring at the painting again.

Edelgard nods, “I’ll be back in a few.” And she’s off again, buzzing with joy and excitement and … everything is right in the world for _once_.

Byleth watches her retreating form and then turns her gaze back to the painting. She closes her eyes, hunches her shoulders and starts laughing. This had to have been some kind of joke, right? She _couldn’t_ wait. This was all the proof she needed that she had to get to Purgatory and get into that _fucking_ Hall of Memories.

She reaches into her back pocket and takes a picture of the painting with her phone. She opens up her text log with Claude, attaches the photo and types— _Remind you of anyone?—_ and turns her gaze back to the painting, staring into the eyes of the woman before her. How _long_ had it been since she had seen those eyes? El’s were kind of the same and…

Her phone buzzes and she looks down at it. _Holy fuck, is that who I think it is?_ Claude’s response. She types back— _Edelgard’s art workshop or some mess. I don’t know. We’ll talk when I get back down._ And ends the conversation there. She pockets her phone just as she hears Edelgard running back into the gallery, same smile and happiness radiating around her.

“Had enough time with my painting?” Edelgard teases as she sets the binder down and goes back to throw the curtain back over the painting.

“Yeah. It’s nice.” Byleth says.

“I’m glad you think so.” Edelgard pulls at her gloves, “Opening night is this Friday. I only have three more days to make sure everything is set. I’m going to be … a little preoccupied in the next coming days. Is that okay?”

Byleth nods again, “Yeah. It’s fine. I have some stuff I have to attend to down in Hell anyway, so I won’t be in your hair. I know how important all this … art stuff is to you.”

Edelgard gets another wide smile, “Who says you had to get out of my hair?” She pushes at Byleth’s arm and says, “Will you come?”

“ _Where_?”

“To the _opening,_ silly.” Edelgard rolls her eyes as she walks past Byleth and starts messing with another painting that’s tipping over, “Be _Byca_ for one more night. _Please_.”

“El… I don’t know.” Byleth runs a hand through her hair. Really, going corporeal again? It took so much _time_ and she hated the icky solid feeling it gave her.

“ _Please_.” Edelgard tries again, pressing her hands together and mock bowing, “King Byleth, my _liege_ , my most honored and trusted demon who’s not a snaggled tooth cat with horrible vision.”

Byleth frowns as she waves Edelgard away, “ _Stop_ that.”

“Then _say_ you’ll come.” Edelgard grabs for her hand and starts swinging it, like a child that wants something from their parent.

“Can’t I just… hover over your shoulder for the night? Make snide comments about the art and how I don’t get it. Why do I have to be _corporeal_?” She asks.

“Cause. What if I need that strong handsome stranger, _Bycleth_ , to come rescue me again?” Edelgard snickers, “I’m _asking_ you, as your charge, to my oh so horrible and terrifying demon lord, to just show your _pretty face_ at my art opening.”

“You’re _really_ trying hard to butter me up, huh?” Byleth smirks.

“ _Maybe_. Besides, Hubert is going to be there, too. And you guys can go have fun together if you hate everyone that’s there. Which will probably be the case. You guys can talk about the Kardashians or something equally as stupid.” Edelgard’s expression seems to falter, “And also …”

“Also…?” Byleth prods, encouraging her to go on.

“My … _mother_ is going to be there. With my stepfather.” She wrinkles her nose, her mood taking a devastating plummet, “It’ll be nice … knowing that you two are there, you know, the _knight_ and the _King_ , to rescue me if things go … south.”

“I already told you. The _Queen_ is the most powerful part of the chess board.” Byleth reminded her.

Edelgard snorts, “Is that supposed to be _me_?”

“What do you think?”

“At any rate, I just … it’ll be nice knowing you’re both there.” She reaffirms, “In physical form, that is. It’ll give me some peace of mind. I’m already stressed enough with putting this together. I don’t need family mess to distract me during the proceedings as well.”

Byleth looks down at her, rubs a hand on her chin in thought, “Yeah, about that. Hubert told me you had a phone call from the other night.” She looks pointedly at Edelgard, “You were upset.”

Edelgard sighs as she turns around and crosses her arms over her chest, “My father used to support my dreams of being an artist. I have _ten_ siblings on my father’s side. That was more than enough to continue the annoying _von Hresvelg_ legacy.” She begins, “My mother’s side … is a lot more … _chaotic,_ if you will.”

“How so?” Byleth asks as Edelgard turns around and begins walking through the gallery.

Edelgard sighed. She guessed it was time to divulge a _little_ bit of whom she was to Byleth. Beyond the surface, at least. “I was …a child when I came to live with my uncle, Volkhard, and his wife, Cornelia, up until the point of … I must have been about fifteen or so. My father, he … had some problems. He’s in a treatment center now. Haven’t found the courage to see him in a couple of years.” She turns to look at Byleth to make sure she’s keeping pace, “My …mother... wasn’t in the picture for a long time. She left me with my father. Had her own demons—no offense—to take care of.”

Byleth shrugs, “None taken.”

“Right. So, anyway. I lived with her until I went to college… and then, I’ve kind of been on my own ever since.” Edelgard fiddles with a couple of paintbrushes someone left behind, sets them on another table pressed again the wall, “I … my family … is not _warm_. They never have been. That phone call with my mother … she just went on and on about how this better be worth it and how I better not _waste_ my life on such a pointless endeavor such as art. There’s no _money_ in this bum’s profession. It … it hurt.” She looks at Byleth, “As much as I don’t want to admit it … it _still_ hurts.”

Byleth leans on an empty pedestal, something that’s probably reserved for some sculpture of some kind, “That’s… understandable.”

“Then she started going on about how my stepbrother, Dimitri, is getting out of rehab and how our family needs to work on it’s issues and, ugh. I just get so tired of them.” Edelgard sneers. She throws her arms out and closes her eyes, “I just … I want to do _this_. And be left alone, you know? Don’t you … have any similar feelings in your demon world?”

“King of Hell, highest rank a demon can attain beside being, well, Lucifer.” Byleth shrugs in thought, “I guess I could try and kill Baal and try and take his rank as number one in our little group. But, nah. Too much pressure. Too much war talk. I like my accounting job, thanks.”

Edelgard chuckles, “…Such a strange demon indeed. You guys get a bad rep, for sure.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you, haven’t I?” Byleth returns her laughter with a small smile of her own.

“At any rate… I’m just glad that you’re going to come and I don’t have to worry about her bothering me with obscenities for the night. I’m sure it’s going to be grand, besides all that.” Edelgard sighs, “…I have to do a bit more work here before I go home. It’s going to be a little boring, but you’re more than welcome to wander around and check out the gallery. Just don’t set anything on _fire,_ okay?”

Byleth rolls her eyes, “Oh, I’m _sure_ I can find someway to entertain myself.” She nods to Edelgard, “Go on, go do your art work.”

She’s almost knocked off guard when Edelgard envelops her in a _hug_ , “Thank you.” And then she’s off again, that droll mood rising back to a high of pure exuberance.

Byleth blinks in surprise, still trying to recover from Edelgard’s hug and blinks. Fucking, _Hell_. She watches her giddy charge leave, thoughts of— _artartartart—_ floating back to her and snorts. Like a kid in a fucking candy shop.

When Edelgard is finally gone, Byleth quickly glances around, ascends into the air, grabs the cloth off that painting again and slowly pulls it off. She lands softly back to the ground, staring up at that woman—staring into those _eyes—_ with a longing she hasn’t felt since she woke up back in Hell, completely _alone_.

How did Edelgard even _find_ this? Did she _know_? She couldn’t have. The girl was just getting her toes wet in this whole demon thing. And why … why did _they_ … she closes her eyes and resists the urge to punch the wall in frustration. _Fuck_.

Where _are_ you?

Where did you _go_?

Where did they _take_ you?

She looks up at the painting one more time—eyes _pleading_ —even though she knows it won’t answer her back. 

_Please_ , tell _me, El._


	10. Staving Off Death

Byleth is trying to find ways to distract Edelgard’s nerves in the days leading up to the opening of her first showcase.

They start playing chess, a game of logic, of the mind. It forces Edelgard to stop being so messy and actually assess the battleground before her. Sure, she’s still shit—give her a break, she’s only been at this for a _week_ at best—but Byleth is an encouraging teacher, who would have thought? So, they play chess, Edelgard always loses, Byleth tells her to _try_ again.

Edelgard runs around in those last three days like a chicken with it's head cut off. She forgets to eat, forgets to sleep, ignores Byleth's sexual advances— _shocking—_ yells at Hubert for leaving the toilet seat up. They're _all_ just waiting for the day to get here so she can _calm_ down for just a little while. She does manage to find some downtime, though. It's something _important_ , she tells Byleth. On the afternoon before show time, Edelgard mentions that she has a little errand to run down at some type of … halfway home? Orphanage of some sort for kids? What in the _world_?

There’s a light flurry falling from the sky and Christmas will be here in another week. Both human and demon are disgusted by the sheer amount of holiday cheer that covers every corner of Enbarr. But, they have each other to enjoy their mutual disdain, so there’s that.

“I think it’s pretty obvious as to why _I_ can’t stand this time of year. But what’s your deal?” Byleth asks as they get closer to their destination.

“Were you sleeping when I went into my whole _terrible_ family, spiel?” Edelgard looks at her, “This may sound stupid, but I was always envious of those holiday specials. With the mom, dad, the kids … the dog. The lights on the Christmas tree during the night with presents and the fireplace crackling at its side. It always seemed so … _magical_.”

“And now?”

“I don’t have family I chose to celebrate this time with, so why does it matter?” Edelgard responds, “Well, I guess I have Hubert. He was more like family to me than anyone else in this world.”

“So, why don’t you just create those memories with Hubert?”

Edelgard gives her an incredulous look, “ _Honestly_ , Byleth, does Hubert _look_ like the type that wants to sit around drinking eggnog and singing Christmas songs by the open fire?”

They both stop in the street to stare at each other and mutually shake their heads— _nope_. Byleth follows her around the street corner as Edelgard gestures ahead of them. Almost there. Byleth resumes her line of questioning, “So, you hate the holiday cause you hate your family. Got it. Simple enough.”

“If that’s your own conclusion, sure. We’ll go with that.” Edelgard readjusts the drawing pads she has under her arm and pulls her tote bag closer to her body. They walk up the stairs to some type of run down looking house and she pushes the doorbell. “So, that’s why I do _this_.”

A woman comes to the door, dark skin and blonde hair, “ _Edelgard_. What a pleasure to have you come by again.” She steps to the side to let Edelgard in, “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

Edelgard turns to look at the woman as she closes the door, “Sorry, it’s been so long, Catherine. School has been a bit busy. I’ve been working so much, I haven’t found time to pull myself away.” She takes off her beanie and stuffs it into her bag, “How’ve the kids been?”

“Oh, same as always. They’re going to be so excited to know you’re here. Come, come.” Catherine walks past her and gestures down the hallway.

Byleth raises an eyebrow when she hears shrieking coming down from the end of the hallway. “ _Kids_?” She asks, looking at Edelgard.

“ _Just come and see.”_ Edelgard sets her drawing pads on the floor and heaves her giant tote bag off her shoulder. She shuffles her coat off to hang it on one of the hooks by the door and picks her stuff back up, following Catherine to end of the hall.

Byleth sighs and does at Edelgard says. She finds herself in a warm, small, circular room with windows on all sides. In the center, children. About ten of them or so. Small, all shapes and sizes and colors. One of them missing a leg; the other is missing one of his hands, another nodding his head in a rhythmic motion with a helmet on, the other stunted in growth in a wheelchair, and the tiniest one has an eye patch over a large …tumorous growth on her face. If demons could _feel_ like assholes, Byleth would have at that moment. Why was she complaining so much about this before?

Kids were … _okay_ in the demon world. But they weren’t Byleth’s favorite form of human. So loud, and sticky and … _drooly_. Ugh. But, they were _innocent_. Even if she scared them from time to time to play up those childhood terrors, she knew what these little ones could do. Some of them _saw_ her. Kids were always open to that sort of thing. Looking at things that adults laughed away as folly. Above all else, even if demons scared kids from time to time, there was one rule that both Heaven _and_ Hell followed: you don’t _fuck_ with kids. This was Fate’s doing, dealing out matters of pure happenstance that no one really had a say in. Not Sothis. Not Lucifer. How _sad_ …

“They’re _sick_?” Byleth takes a seat in the couch by one of the windows and watches the kids as they get excited at the sight of Edelgard.

“ _The unwanted. The undesirables. The … deformed. No child should ever be made to feel as such. They’re the sweetest, kindest people I’ve ever known to grace the Earth. No judgment, just happy there you’re here.”_ Edelgard isn’t looking at her as she sets the drawing pads down for the children. They start bouncing in excitement when she sets down sets of watercolors as well, one for each of them. “ _I started coming here about three years ago. It used to be a monthly thing, but then I got a little too wrapped up in my own world. I always make sure to see them for Christmas. It’s the least I can do.”_

Oh, so this was a _personal_ thing.

One of the kids, the one who’s missing one of his legs, cheers in excitement, “Yay! Miss Edelgard came back!”

The kid with the missing hand is clapping his arm against the stub where his hand would be, “We missed you, Miss Edelgard!”

What are we drawing today, Miss Edelgard? You look so pretty today, Miss Edelgard! How long are you going to say and play with us today, Miss Edelgard? Miss Edelgard, do you have a boyfriend yet? Will you help Ms. Catherine with dinner and eat with us like last time, Miss Edelgard? Miss Edelgard. Miss Edelgard? Miss Edlegard! Yay, Miss Edelgard! Byleth’s head was _spinning_ from the chorus of tiny voices who wouldn’t stop _calling_ Edelgard’s name.

“They seem to really like you.” Byleth says, watching the tiniest of the bunch tug on Edelgard’s leg and reaching out her arms for a hug.

Edelgard sits down on the floor with the children and begins to instruct them to make the _best_ picture that can think of to give to Santa when he comes to give them presents on Christmas night. “ _I would hope … someone does. Sorry, that came off as … very self-depreciative of me. These children are simply a joy to be around. I don’t understand how someone could give them up because they don’t fit the standard definition of_ ** _normal_**.”

Byleth waves a dismissive hand, “Eh, fuck normal.”

“ _You’re a demon. Of course you’d be above that.”_ Edelgard’s shoulders shake as she tries to stifle her laughter. She leans over and tells one of the kid’s— _good job_!—and then leans over to the other side of the table because one of them wants to tell her a story. “ _I love having this time with them.”_

One of the girl’s, missing both of her front teeth, looks up from her watercolor drawing and focuses her attention at Byleth, “Hey, Miss Edelgard?”

“Yes?” Edelgard turns her attention toward the child.

She points her brush at Byleth, “Who’s that _lady_ laying out on the couch?” She starts poking the tip of the brush into her mouth now and looks at Edelgard with wide grey eyes, “Is she a friend of yours?”

Edelgard places a warm hand on the little girl’s head as Byleth stiffens from being caught, “ _What_ lady, Anna?”

“That _lady_ right there!” Anna giggles, “She’s _funny_ looking! She’s got blue hair and weird clothing!”

“Oh, I don’t who _that_ is. Maybe a boogieman? Did you eat your vegetables for dinner last night?” Edelgard leans in, tickling the girl to distract her from looking at Byleth, “She might come and _eat_ you if you didn’t.”

As the girl is laughing, Byleth frowns; realizing that one of the ones that could _see_ her was in the crowd, “ _Cute._ _I’ll just pretend I’m_ not _here and talk to you in your head for now.”_ She closes her eyes, “ _You know, demons don’t mess with kids, right?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“We scare them, sure, but we don’t_ do _anything to them. The whole if your soul is damned or not thing only really starts hitting you until you’re eighteen. You know, trying to tempt you onto the wayward path and whatever.”_ Byleth replies, “ _Heaven and Hell are pretty harsh when it comes to judgment if you’ve done anything to kids. Like whoever gave these children up, they’ve probably got a nice little punishment ahead of them. Luc’s got special torture rooms for that.”_

Edelgard seems to go quiet at Byleth’s confession. She nods slowly, “ _That’s good to know.”_ She seems to be thinking about something, “ _A question?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“If that’s the case… why were these children born this way?”_

_“That’s Fate’s deal. Sothis and Lucifer just guide people into coming to their side. Fate lays out the particulars for your life.”_ Byleth says, “ _Really the whole thing is more of a headache than it’s worth, but I think the system has been working for them. I don’t know. Don’t care.”_

_“I’m glad I was born a human then and don’t have to think about these things.”_

_“More trouble than it’s worth, really.”_

She lies back down and watches Edelgard instruct the kids through _proper brush stroke_ and some other artsy nonsense. They seem to love her though. She feels a smile tug on her lips at the sight of it all. It's only when she's about to turn over, does Byleth lift her head up and nearly startles at what she sees in the corner of the room. She looks at Edelgard who is completely oblivious and then back at the figure. Well if that ain't a sight she hasn't seen in awhile. It’s _Death_.

“ _Hold on, I’ll be right back.”_

 _“Where are you—“_ Edelgard turns over her shoulder in mid-thought and blinks.

Where in the _hell_ did Byleth go now?

—

Byleth descends into Death’s Domain, another layer of dimensions set apart from the human world and the in-between. Really, the after life really had to get its shit together with all of these _realms_. It’s murky and the sound barrier makes her feel like she’s underwater, “ _Death_. Long time no see.”

Death looks at Byleth and sighs in annoyance. She removes her hood to reveal a short, stocky, punky looking African-American woman with a purple and black Afro, deep set hazel eyes, and a purple jewel covering her third eye. She reaches into the back of her robes, pulls out a black case and lights a cigarette, “ _Byleth_.”

“How’s the reaping game treating, ya?” Byleth asks.

“The usual around this time of year. Mass suicides are always in vogue, so, I stay busy.” She takes a drag of her cigarette, “What are you even _doing_ here?”

Byleth gestures to Edelgard who’s looking around the room for signs of her, “Here with my hot _new_ human girlfriend.”

“That’s a laugh. You demons can’t _love_.” Death mutters, “I know that first hand.”

“Yes, yes. We all know about you and Luc. Shame it didn’t work out.” Byleth waves, dismissive of the past, “So, are you _here_ for someone?”

Death nods her head off in the direction of a frail girl who had been mostly quiet during the time Edelgard had been with them. She takes another drag and removes the cigarette from her mouth, “Mm, that one. She’s got about ... maybe two hours left, max. I was about to start the process before you decided you wanted to _catch_ up.”

“Well, _yeah_. It’s been ages. I don’t see you around like I used to.” Byleth rolls her eyes.

“I guess that would be so, considering you haven’t really been into the _murdering_ game like you used to.” Death replies. She poises her cigarette before her mouth and looks at Edelgard, “Are you seriously dating, though?”

“Nah, I just like to _pretend_ we are.” Byleth smirks, “My new charge. Fucking up her life as best I can, but she’s a tough cookie to crack.”

“Ah, blood oath stuff.” Death nods in understanding, “What’d she summon you for, anyway? Internet fame? Get back at her cheating boyfriend? Wild and crazy demon sex?”

Byleth looks slightly forlorn. She hates talking about this _all_ the time. “She thought I was a cat.”

“Ah… _another_ one. Sorry, Byleth. Blame the humans.” Death drops her cigarette into a recyclable ash tray that was stashed in her pocket and clears her throat, “Well, it’s been fun chatting, but you’re kind of distracting me from my job right now.”

Byleth crosses her arms over her chest, “Yeah… about that. Could you maybe … _wait_ on that?”

“You know I can’t. Time is the biggest pain in the ass with this fucking job. I’ve got to get back over to Europe in like, ten minutes. Girl in a bathtub. Boyfriend won’t make it in time.” Death says, checking one of the many watches she has affixed to her arm.

“It’s just that… the kids haven’t seen, her—“ She gestures toward Edelgard who’s currently picking one up and swinging them around. The other children are laughing and pulling at her shirt to pick them up next, “…Edelgard, in awhile. I’d rather she … you know. Not have to leave here with that kind of memory.”

Death stares at Byleth’s ridiculous request and rolls her eyes, “Is there something I should know about this _one_?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why should _I_ honor your request?” Death asks.

“A little … Christmas miracle?” Byleth asks, leaning in with a look of suggestion on her face. “ _Please_ , Death? She loves these kids, apparently. She comes to see them like every Christmas or something to cheer them up from their despicable fates. Come on, Death, where’s your Christmas _cheer_?”

“Byleth, shut the fuck up. You don't even _believe_ in Christmas.” Death reminds her, “I remember Luc and all of his wild ass anti-Christmas parties. The sheer heresy of those things. Ugh.”

“So… is that a _yes_?”

“You demons. Always going around and asking people for _favors_ and never giving anything in return.” Death mutters to herself, “ _Fine_. I’ll push it back… when are you leaving?”

“Probably in an hour or two.”

“I _guess_ I can push it back.” Death sighs as she pulls her phone out of her pocket, “It’s a shame. She was really looking forward to seeing Santa this year.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t exist.”

“Even _I_ know that. The _one_ thing humans got wrong and it’s that.” Death chuckles, “…Anyway. It was _fun_ chatting with you. But I gotta get to that girl in Europe that I was talking about. Just make sure you’re gone before I come back or maybe _you’ll_ be the next person on my chopping block.”

“Oh, that's already happened before, _remember_?” Byleth chuckles, “Won’t happen again, promise.”

“Yeah. Get your _shit_ together, man.” Death pulls her hood back over her head and grabs her scythe, “If that will be all.”

Byleth waves. “See ya, Death. You should come down sometime. Have drinks with the old crew. They miss your jokes, you know?”

“I’d rather _chew_ sand.” Death replies.

Death takes her scythe and cleaves the reality the two of them are currently standing in and Byleth finds herself falling flat on her ass next to Edelgard. Edelgard startles at the sudden appearance of Byleth and one of the children that was napping on her lap whines when she moves.

 _“_ ** _Byleth_** **.** _What the fuck?”_ Edelgard turns to look at the demon as she places a hand on the child’s head and tries to calmly lure them back into sleep again, “ _Where the fuck did you go?”_

 _“Death.”_ Byleth groans as she sits up. She gestures toward the small child who’s sitting in the corner rubbing at her eyes, _“Don’t worry, I took care of it.”_

Edelgard rolls her eyes, “ _I don’t want to know, I don’t care.”_ She pats another child on the head who’s come up to her and started talking about his newest toy now, “ _I’m going to stay for a little while and have dinner with them. And then we can leave.”_

Byleth eyes the clock. She _promised_ Death… “ _How long?”_

 _“Maybe an hour or two._ ** _Why_** _do you have somewhere to be?”_ Edelgard asks.

Byleth shakes her, _“Nowhere at all. Just gonna lie here and admire you being Mother Theresa.”_ She grimaces slightly, “ _Actually that lady was a fucking hack. Fuck it, you’re like … a Michelle Obama. Now that’s a lady with_ ** _class_**.”

Edelgard has to stifle her snort and fiddles with one of the watercolor pictures the children has left on the table. _“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”_

_“Tch. Best damn one there is.”_

Distracted by Edelgard’s snickering, the little girl that had noticed Byleth from before picks her head up from her drawing and frowns, “ _Hey_. Miss _Edelgard!_ The funny lady came back.”

—

Byleth notices Death’s shadow looming over the house as they leave. Her hooded form nods in Byleth’s direction as she leaps from one of the trees and into one of the windows on the upper floors. Byleth sees a flash of purple light and looks away and back at Edelgard who’s walking ahead of her. What she doesn’t know … won’t hurt her.

Edelgard turns to look at Byleth who seems to be distracted with something, “…Are you even listening to me?”

Byleth snorts, “ _Yes,_ Edelgard. You were talking about children and art and the sky and the moon and—what am I, your boyfriend?”

“No, just a simple demon who seems intent on following me wherever I go.” Edelgard replies, turning back around, “I don’t feel like going home just yet. …Do you mind if we walk around?”

Byleth shrugs, “The elements don’t bother me any. It’s _your_ decision.”

Edelgard huffs and a cloud of white air escapes her mouth, “It’s not _that_ cold. I’ll be fine.” She looks up to the sky. No moon tonight, no stars. Too much light pollution in Enbarr for that, “You know, sometimes I miss seeing the stars.”

“How romantic.”

“I’m serious.” Edelgard says as they stop on a street corner, “For all my hate of the place where I grew up, I miss summer at my father’s manor. You could always see them … the constellations. Bright as day in the night sky.”

Oh, so it was time for a little bit of nostalgia. “Hell doesn’t have stars. Just fire. …You know, Earth’s mantel and all.”

“I _know._ I’ve been down there before.” Edelgard shivers at the thought of it all, “Never again.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You could try again in maybe like sixty years or so.” Byleth chuckles.

“Funny.” Edelgard deadpans, “And let’s say you do _take_ my soul down to Hell. Just a hypothetical, here. Even though you _insist_ I’m yours for all eternity. What would you do with me?”

Byleth smirks, fangs bared in devilish delight, “Oh, what I _wouldn’t_ do with you.”

“Were you serious about that harem thing?” Edelgard asks as they stop walking and pause at a light.

“Maybe. Just a little.” Byleth chuckles. “I’m telling you, you’re already gunning for the top girl spot. My top girl is a little …” She turns to Edelgard, “ _Worn_ down.”

Edelgard shivers as they start walking across the street, “I _don’t_ want to know.”

“Oh, she’s had her fill. Trying to come up with new things to do when you’ve been alive for as long as I have is a little hard, you know?”

“Are all demons as perverse as you?” Edelgard feels like cringing, “Do you do _anything_ else besides having sex with everything that walks?”

“I spend time with you, don’t I?” Byleth asks.

“Yes. You do. But what _else_ do you do with your time in Hell? You don’t really talk about it much.” Edelgard remarks, “You kind of just … show up, harass me for a day… disappear for maybe a day or two. Show up again. Then maybe a week goes by and _there_ you are. In the kitchen, complaining about my coffee making skills.”

“Yeah, they still _suck.”_ Byleth lights up, “Oh. _Oh._ Can I help with that? Make you better at making coffee? Come on, El. You’re killing me here. You won’t let me do anything for you besides all this childish baby demon magic stuff. I want to fuck someone’s world up!”

“My world is already fucked up because of you.” Edelgard mumbles, “Fires everywhere. Hubert muttering about demons all the time. I had such a nice and easy way of life before you, you know?”

“Oh, it was _boring_.” Byleth scoffs, “How many girls can say they wear the same shoe size as their demon familiar?”

Edelgard looks down at Byleth’s feet and frowns, “Those are my _favorite_ boots, I hope you know.”

“So comfy and broken in, too.” Byleth sticks out a foot and gestures toward Edelgard’s boots, “Anyway, going back to your previous question. I do loads of stuff in Hell. Oh, just the other day I was on _Rogue Angel_ duty.”

“Rogue _Angel?”_ Edelgard questions as they near the entry to a park.

“Yeah.” Byleth replies. Oh, wait. She hadn’t told her about _that_ yet. Should she? Nah. Better not scare her anymore than she needed. “Little angel got lost. Had to babysit her for awhile before her parents came and got her.”

“…Demons and angels have …families?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Byleth replies innocently.

“I mean. You guys… _procreate?”_

Byleth laughs, “Not really. It’s more like … creating something out of the aether. Family. We create one another. Like, Sothis and her stupid right hand, Rhea. She’s technically like, Sothis’ daughter or whatever— _the Immaculate One_.”

“…God has a daughter?” Edelgard asks, raising an eyebrow, “I thought _Jesus_ was his … her, son?”

“No, no, _no._ How many times have I told you that everything you humans write about is a bunch of nonsensical bullshit?” Byleth asks, “ _Rhea_ was the one that came down all those years ago and sacrificed herself for a bunch of nonsense. Do you really think everyone would follow Christianity if they knew _God_ and her only begotten “son” was a _woman_?”

“…In this misogynistic world, I suppose that would be a concern.” Edelgard muses as she pauses by a bench, “Let’s sit for awhile.”

“Really, the Bible makes no sense to begin with. Turning water into wine? Eating the body of another? Sounds like good old demon magic to me.”

“Everything is demon magic to you.” Edelgard replies, “Byleth, just how _old_ are you anyway?”

Byleth scratches her cheek, “Don’t you know you never ask a lady her age?”

“You’re hardly a _lady_. You’re a _DEMON_.” Edelgard smacks her on the arm, “Seriously. I want to know.”

“Three…” Byleth begins.

“Three…” Edelgard waves her hand around, expecting her to continue, “ …Hundred? Thousand? Million? What is it?”

“Three thousand two hundred and forty six.” Byleth replies. “I still look a day barely over one thousand, though. Ask Claude.”

“…I have no idea what that even means.” Edelgard slaps her forehead in irritation, “So, what? You were alive … “ She’s trying to do the math, but Byleth knows she’s failing.

“I was born in 13th century BCE.” Byleth replies.

“Oh.” Edelgard blushes at her lack of mathematical prowess, “What … was happening back then?”

“I don’t know. Egyptian life was thriving, so. Probably something with plagues and parting seas.” Byleth shrugs, “Was a wee bab when that did happen.”

“Sure.” Edelgard replies, “What a different world that must have been.”

“Nah, same shit. Demons and angels at war. Famine, war, conquest... death.” Byleth suddenly remembers something, “Fun fact. Did you know Death was the reason for the whole breakup of the Four Horseman? She split off and started doing her own thing. Couldn’t deal with all the others stealing her shine. She’s pretty cool, you know.”

“ _Death_?” Edelgard asks.

“Yeah. They used to be in a band… named the Four Horsemen, go figure. Beautiful voice. That’s why she and Luc started dating in the first place. He was drunk and went to see one of their shows. Chased her for _millennia_ before she decided to give him a chance.” Byleth rambles on, “I don’t see the apocalypse happening anytime soon… those four have to settle their differences first.”

Edelgard just… blinks in response. The world that governed her own seemed to be fraught with just as much personal strife as the human world. Was _everywhere_ fucked up? Yes. The answer is _yes_. “How … catastrophic.”

“Ah, you won’t have that sarcastic tone when it happens. Who knows, you’ll probably be dead by then.” Byleth smiles, “And with _me._ ”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, “Wonderful.” She kicks her feet out from under the bench and sighs, “…Do you think I’m ready for tomorrow?”

“Need a boost of demon confidence?” Byleth leans forward, her fingertips glowing with an odd red color, “I can give it to you. Just gotta ask for it.”

Edelgard pulls back, “Get those _fingers_ away from me. I don’t know where they’ve been.”

Byleth looks at her hand and frowned. She _had_ washed them after… whatever. She leans back and slouches back into the bench, “Anyway. _Yes._ You’re ready. You’ve got the _perfect_ dress. The _perfect_ shoes. The _perfect_ venue. The _perfect_ art. The _perfect_ speech. The perfect _demon_ at your side making sure all this shit will go smoothly on your big night. For the love of Lucifer, Edelgard, _stop_ worrying.”

Edelgard sighs, “I know, I know. It’s just. A big night for me, Byleth.”

“I know.” Byleth rolls her eyes, “You haven’t stopped stressing out about it for the last couple of days. I’ve got paper cuts from all those stupid posters you had me tack up all over campus.”

“You should be proud you’re making yourself useful.” Edelgard smiles, “It’s going to be so exciting. The news will be there… and everyone will be looking at the thing that _I_ created.”

“Everyone will be looking at _you_ as well.” Byleth reminds her. There’s a double meaning in her subtle response.

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Edelgard shakes her head, “My professors, sure. The people, they won’t know who I am.”

“But they _will_.” Byleth reminds her.

Edelgard decides to change the subject, “What about you, Byleth? Were you always such a big and scary player in the demon world?”

“Eh… it took some time. Killed a couple of high-ranking demons. Waged a war. Lucifer was like, _that’s a badass right there,_ and granted me the rank of King maybe like … I wanna say … maybe … one thousand or so years ago?” Byleth’s eyes go skyward as she tries to get her timelines straight. It had been … awhile, “They didn’t really start writing about me in the grimoires until about the 15th or 17th century, though. I don’t really remember.”

“Such a long time. I couldn’t fathom being alive for so long.” Edelgard wonders, “You’ve probably seen a lot. How the world has changed in so many centuries.”

“Oh, the shit I’ve seen, you _wouldn’t_ believe.” Byleth chuckles, “It’s been a good time, though.”

“I bet it has.” Edelgard replies, “Cursing humans, taking their souls. And all the other demon crap that goes along with the territory.” 

“Just another day for me.”

They lapse into silence for a minute before Edelgard proposes another question, “Say, Byleth.”

“ _Yes_ , Edelgard?”

“Were you always …” Edelgard gestures, “A … woman? I don’t quite get the whole … guy and girl thing with you.”

Byleth looks down at her current form and then back at Edelgard. She snaps her fingers and changes gender in an instant. He leans in and smiles, “Why, would you prefer this one, instead? Mr. _Bycleth_ , coming to save the fair maiden from the bar again?”

“Stop _it_ , change back.” Edelgard pushes him away as Byleth starts laughing. “No, I’m just curious.”

Byleth doesn’t change form just yet and leans forward on the bench, “Nah. I just. I mean, I was born … formless. Genderless. This form, the male form, is more of a … war form, I guess? I guess you were right when you were fucked up from that night at the bar.” Byleth pulls at his shirt that’s gotten a little too tight in this current form, “The guys down south always call me _he_ even when I’m dressed like the pretty little lady I _am_.

“Well, that’s a little disrespectful.” Edelgard narrows her eyes in vague disgust.

“Eh, I’m used to it.” Byleth waves a hand away, “I guess the only _true_ female we have in our ranks would probably be Vine. She used to be a succubus before Lucifer brought her into the fray. Go figure. I think he used to have something with her, too… Luc has … a lot of things with a _lot_ of people.”

“What about you?”

“No, _ew,_ never. That’s a straight bromance right there, El.” Byleth replies.

“Bromance. …Demon bromance.” Edelgard says to herself, “…The shit you lot must get into.”

“Would you like to see it?” Byleth asks in excitement, starting to think of all the _wondrous_ , _perverse_ things he could show Edelgard to blow her freaking mind, “I wasn’t kidding when I said I can bring you to the anti-Christmas party. Wanna _really_ fucking let loose for the night and hate on Sothis?”

“No, I’m good.” Edelgard replies and rolls her eyes as Byleth’s expression drops, “It would probably be a travesty.”

“I think you could hold your own against the guys.” Byleth says, “You do just _fine_ with me.”

“Yes, I suppose I do.” Edelgard glances at him, “Can you change back now? This form is a little too … intense for me. Your gaze is like … like you’re trying to eat my soul. More so than usual, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, _okay_.” Byleth waves a hand and she’s all smiles, female, and cheerful again, “That better?”

“Yes. Thank you.” In the distance they hear the church bells ringing and Edelgard looks down at her watch. She jumps to her feet and turns to Byleth in worry, “Holy shit, it’s _9PM_!”

“Yes, _and_?” Byleth asks, rising her eyebrows in question.

Edelgard is already walking away before Byleth can ask anything else, “I have to get to _sleep_. I have to be up at 6AM tomorrow to get down to the studio tomorrow and I can’t be late. Byleth, oh shit. What if I’m so tired I can’t—“

Byleth rolls her eyes. The girl was _just_ starting to relax. Fuck this. She gets to her feet, walking after Edelgard, presses her hands to her lips and blows something red and wispy into the air. Edelgard doesn’t register what’s happening around her, but things start to get a little hazy … and she stops walking. Byleth comes up behind and puts her hands on Edelgard’s shoulders.

“You are calm.” She starts.

Edelgard blinks, trying to figure out what is _happening_ to her mind right now. “ _I … am calm_.”

Byleth nods her head as she steers Edelgard out of the park and into the light of the the sidewalk again, “You are _ready_. You will _sleep_ well tonight.”

“I … am …”

“Come on, you can do it.”

“ _I am ready. And … and I will sleep well tonight_.” Edelgard continues as Byleth continues to steer her through the crowds on the street.

“You will _stop_ this incessant worrying.” She mutters under her breath as they near the train station. They descend down the steps and Byleth eyes the turnstile and it opens by itself, letting Edelgard walk right through.

“ _I will stop … this in… incessant worrying_.” Edelgard repeats to herself, her posture getting somewhat straighter as she and Byleth have stopped walking and are waiting on the platform now for the train that will take them home.

“So. Shall. It. Be.” Byleth gives her one last shake and then let’s go.

“ _So… shall it be_.” Edelgard closes her eyes and shakes her head, “… _What_?”

“Huh?” Byleth asks, pretending she doesn’t know what’s going on.

“…When did we get to the train station?” Edelgard asks, looking around at the dilapidated structure and then at Byleth in confusion.

“What do you _mean_?” Byleth asks, “You walked all the way here saying that you needed to get home and go to sleep. Don’t you remember?”

Edelgard shakes her head, not suspecting a thing. “I suppose … I may be more tired than I thought.”

“Right, so let’s get you home so you can go to sleep and wake up bright and beautiful for your _big_ gallery debut tomorrow.” Byleth smiles as the train pulls into the station. The doors open and she gestures, with a bow, “After you, m’lady.”

“Oh, _stop_ that.” Edelgard chides as she steps through the train doors and takes a seat. She stifles a yawn with the back of her hand and closes her eyes.

Byleth decides to stand at her side, turned toward the window of one of the doors and watches at the train chugs along through the tunnel. She glances down at Edelgard who has a sheer look of … _peace_ on her face. Okay, looking more relaxed? Check. No ruminating thoughts? Check. Almost falling asleep on the train? Check … _Hey, El, you’re going to miss your stop_. Edelgard startles awake and almost trips over herself as she exits the train.

Byleth just smiles to herself as she follows after the sleepy girl, watches the train depart from the station and continues on into the cold night.

 _Don’t worry, El. Tomorrow is going to be just_ fine.

I’ll make _sure_ of that.


	11. Under The Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm, I think I'm a little over the halfway point here with this story. I've enjoyed reading all your theories and comments. I don't always reply, but I read them all. Thanks again, everyone. 
> 
> This one got kind of long. Might take a break after this chapter....
> 
> ... Probably not, though. I'm enjoying it way too much.

Byleth is having another one of those dreams.

This time she’s got Edelgard in her bed, face down, her hands firmly pinning El’s arms down to the bed and hitting it from the back. Her stamina is off the charts, of course, being a demon and all—but Edelgard, _oh fucking Edelgard—_ seems to be having _such_ a hard time keeping up. Edelgard looks at her _,_ mouth open and panting. _Byleth._ The poor thing can’t catch her breath. Dazed. Adorable. _Yes? Tell me, El, what do you need?_

 _Byleth!_ Her head falls back to the bed, breathing heavily. Oh, _please_ imprint these sounds into my memory. _Uh, huh? Is that it?_ A sharp snap of the hips and she tenses up underneath Byleth and _whines. You want a bit more? Or are things too_ sensitive _right now? I can stop, go slower, just say the word._

 _BYLETH! .._. Wait a minute. That didn’t sound like a voice that was currently indulging in a night of passion and sensuality. _WOULD YOU_ WAKE _UP?_ That... sounded more pissed off if anything.

Byleth comes to as a drawing pad smacks her upside the head and she’s snapped back to reality. _Fuck, man._ Edelgard, the _real_ Edelgard, is standing before her, eyes narrowed and annoyed.

“Why are you _drooling_? Why are you calling my name in your _sleep?”_ Edelgard chucks the drawing pad onto the bed beside Byleth and frowns, “You were being _nasty_ again, weren’t you? _Stop_ having sex dreams about _me_!” She turns around and leaves her room in a huff.

Byleth pushes herself up off of Edelgard’s pillow and blinks. Jeez. How could she have _possibly_ thought so low of her? Yawning, she looks at the clock. Oh, no wonder she was so annoyed. It was almost time for them to get to the gallery. _Ugh_. Byleth turns over and pushes herself off of Edelgard’s bed. Edelgard has disappeared out of the room and is yelling at Hubert about his cufflinks.

Byleth stretches, cracks her neck from side to side and looks at Edelgard’s closet. Time to work her magic before the night even began. She walks over to the chiffon red evening dress hanging on the front of Edelgard’s closet and runs her hands over it. It shimmers with a coat of black and red before settling back to normal. Just a little power, _inspiration for_ the night if things got rough.

Byleth turns to look at the articles of clothing waiting for her. Well? What’s it going to be tonight? She looks at the suit hanging there and pulls the cloth apart to look at it. Handsomely, rougish charmer from the bar? Or … she peers at the black and silky number hanging next to Edelgard’s dress… the first year grad student? Edelgard comes back into the room just as Byleth is trying to make her decision.

“So… what exactly do you want me to be tonight?” Byleth asks. She tugs at the suit, “We could go dude here and I can pretend to be your date for the night.” She pulls at the dress next, “Or go with some sort of pre-established relationships and make a fool of myself acting like the ditzy new girl.”

“Both.” Edelgard answers in exasperation, “Do, _both_. Chose one, don’t choose one. I don’t care.”

“…Huh?” Byleth watches Edelgard walk over to her desk to pull a binder over to her bed and start winding her hair around her hands, “…I don’t … _what_?”

“Just _decide._ ” Edelgard whines as she’s pushing Byleth aside to grab her dress from off the closet. As she’s leaving the room, she turns around, “I don’t have time for this! Be the King of Hell that you claim to be and just _make_ a God damn decision!”

Byleth blinks and sighs through an exaggerated exhale. Okay, then. She snatches both articles of clothing off their hangers and sets about working her magic.

Decision _made_ , Edelgard.

—

They play chess in Edelgard’s office before it’s time to officially start the night.

Edelgard is a picture of perfection, hair drawn on top of her head with long tendrils hanging in her face. Her red chiffon dress wraps around her small frame, accentuating it in all the right places. Byleth chances a glance at her shoes—special order from Hell themselves, that Byleth had placed oh so discreetly in the shop window to catch her eye. High, but not too high. _Confidence, strength, dominance._ He remembers slamming his fist on the counter and screaming at the demon shoemaker— _I WANT HER TO HAVE POWER_. Oh, how he had cowered. Byleth chuckles, _good_ work.

Edelgard looks down at the chessboard and groans. All Byleth can hear in her mind is— _fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck._ “Wait, no. I want to take that move _back_.”

“You’re distracted. I just took your rook when your stupid bishop was right there to defend it.” Byleth mutters, not even looking up from the chessboard, “What are you thinking about Edelgard?”

“I’m _distracted_ because you decided to _come_ like this.” Edelgard gestures to Byleth.

Byleth doesn’t look at her. He raises his eyebrows, sucks his teeth like something is stuck in them. “You asked for a King of Hell tonight. I granted that wish.” He knocks one of her pawns out of the way, takes another piece, “Really. You should focus more on this game than how I look tonight.”

Hubert is in the office as well, scrolling through something on his phone, “I think you look quite dapper, demon.”

“ _Thank_ you, Hubert.” Byleth smiles, “At least _someone_ thinks so.”

Edelgard looks at the clock. Only fifteen more minutes before she had to go downstairs, “Oh, don’t encourage him, Hubert.”

“Not encouragement. Just simply stating truth and facts, Edelgard.” He looks up from his phone, “How’s the ass kicking going over there? My, I would love a game myself if you would indulge me, Byleth.”

“Of course. Let me finish destroying El first, though.” Byleth’s shoulders shake in laughter as Edelgard makes another faulty move and he looks up at her, “ _Check_.”

Edelgard gets out of her seat, completely fed up with playing chess and takes a deep breath. “Enough of this. I have to be out there in fifteen minutes and I need to center myself.” Something heavy and warm settles over here and Byleth smirks knowingly when he sees it happen, “…Actually, never mind.”

“What’s _wrong_? Nerves settled?” Byleth asks.

“It’s as if they just went away.” Edelgard remarks, then looks back at the chessboard. “I _am_ tired of playing chess though. Perhaps you can indulge Hubert in that game that he so desperately wants.”

“ _Finally_.” Hubert gets up out of his chair and walks over to where Byleth and Edelgard were playing.

With a wave of his hand, Byleth resets the board and looks at him, “White or black?”

“The most difficult option of course.” Hubert replies, “…Unless you’re stuck on _black_.”

“Not at all.” Byleth shrugs, “I always bow to the other players request. Wouldn’t want to kick your ass _too_ badly, now would I?”

Hubert laughs, “I hope your talk is as good as your game, _demon_.”

Edelgard doesn’t understand this … grand display of testosterone and chess that’s occurring in her office right now. She grimaces at the two men sitting there and babbling about pawns and knights and walks over to look at the clock again. Five minutes. She should head down.

“I’m going down.” Edelgard says, “…You two are more than welcome to continue your …strange thuggish chess competition over there, but I have to go.”

Byleth looks at Hubert who nods his head off in Edelgard’s direction. “Nope, _nope_. We can finish this later.” Byleth replies. He wipes his hands off on his pants and readjusts his tie. He walks up beside Edelgard and offers an arm, “Shall we?”

She pushes him away, scoffs, “Oh, knock it _off_.” And let’s herself out of the office and in the direction of the gallery.

The office door closes behind Byleth and Hubert. Looks like Edelgard’s walk has turned into more of a running… hopping … stride. Hubert snorts, turns to Byleth. “You know, you’re quite the gentleman for a demon.”

Byleth watches Edelgard turn around and mouth— _come on—_ before he picks up his pace, “Heh, thanks. I thought so, too.”

—

Byleth wonders if Edelgard knows just _how_ many demons are in the gallery that night. They’re all dressed as normal people, masquerading as inquisitive patrons of the arts. Some of them meet Byleth’s eyes, shoulders going straight to their ears, and give small, curt bows as a sign of respect. Ah, artists and their demon pacts. What a time to be alive. Guess Edelgard was one of them too… in her own weird way.

He glances to his left, sees Edelgard talking to some woman … who kind of _looks_ like her. She’s got a glass of wine in her hand, a flowing cerulean dress on, black clutch under her arm, and long brown hair that cascades down her back. She turns to Edelgard and looks slightly _angry_ as she gestures toward a picture in front of them and then turns back to her. Edelgard, thankfully, doesn’t look slighted in the least. Actually, there seems to be this weird… magisterial look on her face? Like she’s unfazed by whatever the woman is saying to her.

Byleth chances walking over to the commotion, you know, just to _check_ on things. Edelgard is too busy talking to the woman to notice him hovering nearby. She folds her hands in front of her and nods, “…Why, yes, mother. I do suppose this piece _does_ clash with the greater representation of what we were trying to go for here.”

“And _another_ thing.” Anselma? Patricia?—whoever—leans in closer to Edelgard, “ _What_ are you wearing? This is an _art_ showing, not a whore house.”

Edelgard looks down at her dress. _Byleth_ had picked it out for her. Said _red_ was her color. Edelgard shrugs her shoulders slightly and smiles, “I was feeling bold.”

“ _Bold_?” Anselma asks as she takes a swig of her wine. She was drunker than she appeared, Byleth could tell, “Bold is acting like a floozy, not a respectable girl like your uncle and dear aunt Cornelia so carefully tried to raise you as. Red is the color of a _harlot_ , not a woman of high society.”

Edelgard shrugs again in that same dreamy way, deflection and deflection, “Oh, I don’t know, mother. I’m a woman of the new millennium. We don’t really care about things like that, you know. Sorry, to disappoint.”

Anselma coughs harsh and heavy, probably from smoking too much. “Right.” She looks around the gallery, “You pay so much money for this damn university and this is the best they could do?”

Edelgard looks around her, “It has its charm, don't you think?”

“Not really.” Anselma replies, “Where is your _stepfather_? Honestly, how long does it take to park a car?”

Byleth is almost over to Edelgard when a loud shriek interrupts his concentration. He looks over his shoulder and wants to shoot himself in the face. Ugh, Lucifer’s future whore from El’s trio of _idiots_. What was _she_ doing here? Furthermore, where had _Hubert_ disappeared to? He had gotten distracted with talking to that succubus masquerading as a human woman and then …. _Ugh_. Too many people to try and keep tabs on.

Dorothea comes up to him; dress too tight, heels too high. She leans forward, “Oh my _God_. Aren’t you the guy from the bar that _Eddy_ went home with that night?” Her eyes are glittering like she just found the most _salacious_ gossip in the world, “Are you guys _seeing_ each other now?”

Byleth feels the side of his face quirk in slight irritation, “…I’m sorry. Have we met?”

Dorothea looks slightly crestfallen, but recovers quickly, “I was her _other_ cute friend that was at the bar that night. You know, the one that asked why you were asking for _her_ name instead of me.” She giggles, “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to steal you away if you’re Eddy’s guy.”

Byleth isn’t … too sure of that. He raises his eyebrows and sighs, “Ah. I see. Your name…?”

“Dorothea.” She replies, “You should remember that. You’ll probably be seeing a lot more of me if you’re with _Eddy_.”

Byleth sure as fuck hopes not. “At any rate… I’m Bycleth.” He feels his head hurt when he says the name. It was his own fault for being so unoriginal and stupid in the moment.

“Well, a _pleasure_ , Bycleth.” Dorothea gets a little closer and puts her hand on his shoulder, stands on her tippy toes, and points at Edelgard who is still standing with her mother, “Eddy looks so beautiful tonight, don’t you think? So regal. Like a _queen_.”

Well, _duh._ Byleth had been responsible for it all. He nods his head, shrugs his shoulder so Dorothea would _stop_ touching him. “Yes, she looks radiant tonight.”

Dorothea chuckles, “You have a weird way of talking, you know? You’re not from around here, are you?”

“Can’t say I am.” Byleth replies.

“Hold on, wait. She looks like she can’t take anymore of her mother’s griping. I’ll get her attention.” Dorothea starts waving her arm and calls out, “Hey, _Eddy_! Over here!”

Edelgard is finally startled out of her reverie when she turns to her left and notices Byleth is standing next to Dorothea. Her expression softens and she smiles, soft and kind. That was _new_. She waves her hand at her mother and the woman finally shuts up and straightens up at the prospect of meeting people Edelgard calls _friends_. Hopefully they were better than that _accursed_ Hubert that her daughter loved to spend so much of her time with.

Edelgard comes up Byleth and Dorothea, “Good evening, you two.”

Dorothea moves forward to envelop Edelgard in a hug, “Hi, Eddy!” She steps back to look Edelgard up and down, “You look _so_ good tonight. Oh my God, are you wearing _Versace_?” She asks, in disbelief and she scrutinizes Edelgard’s dress a little harder.

“I… I don’t know. I went shopping with Byca when I picked this out.” Edelgard replies, “I don’t think it’s anything too expensive. Really. I doubt it’s what you think it is.”

Dorothea frowns, “ _How_ could you go shopping with, _Byca_ , for you big night and not invite me? How _rude._ ” She waves her hand; mind already onto the next thing, “Anyway, look who I found. Mr. Tall _and_ Handsome.”

Byleth chances a _long_ blink to hide how badly he wanted to roll his eyes right now. Edelgard blushes and shoots a pointed look at Dorothea— _shut the fuck up, Dorothea! My mother doesn’t need to know about that night—_ and then looks up at Byleth, who has a vague hint of amusement on his face, “Yes. I also invited Bycleth tonight. We have been getting … better acquainted in the last month.”

Anselma, obviously forgotten, knocks an elbow into her’s stomach and gestures with her hand, “Well, I’m _waiting_ for an introduction, Edelgard.”

“Sorry. This is Dorothea.” She gestures to the overly outgoing girl to her mother’s right. Anselma turns up her nose and gives her a curt— _ah, yes, I remember her_ —then turns her attention to Byleth, “And _Bycleth_. We met recently. Mother, he works down at one of the _von Aegir’s_ hedge fund operations in the finance district.”

Byleth looks at her, “ _von …Aegir?”_

_“One of my father’s old associates. Just go along, she’s probably pissing herself with joy. Just talk about all your tax nonsense. I’m sure a mathematical genius like you will have no problem keeping up.”_

“Finally a breath of _light_ in such a drab affair.” Anselma says as she takes a swig of her wine, looking Byleth up and down, “You’re quite the handsome fellow, aren’t you? And the _von Aegir_ ’s, hm? That’s _quite_ a name to be working for, young man. How old did you say you were again...?”

Over three thousand. Byleth smiles softly, “Twenty eight.”

Anselma’s appraisal of his body continues, “Ah, the perfect age for _marriage_ then.” She looks at her daughter, “You know, I tell Edelgard _all_ the time that her eggs aren’t getting an younger, yet she _insists_ on putting this career thing of hers before anything else. What about you, Bycleth? Where do you think a woman’s _priorities_ should lie?”

Byleth chances a glance at Edelgard who’s face is slowly twisting into a frown. He seems to glare ice into Anselma’s soul. “Why, I should desire a woman to follow her _heart_ as she sees fit.”

“ _You’re doing wonderfully. Thank you_.”

“ _Your mother, is a_ ** _bitch_** _. You should tell her to go back to the plastic surgeon that botched that left tit of hers and get it fixed._ ”

Edelgard clears her throat as Anselma seems at a loss for words at Byleth’s response, “Mother, I think I see Lambert coming. Let’s get you over there and you two can enjoy the exhibit together, hm?”

Anselma looks tight in the face, “Yes. Sure.” She looks at Bycleth, “You treat my daughter _well_ , you hear me? I have a long standing relationship with the von Aegir’s through my last husband, Ionius _von Hresvelg_... it would be a _shame_ if anything ... _happened_ to such a prestigious position that you hold.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes as her mother turns around and she follows her off back into the crowd. Byleth just stifles his laughter. Did this human just ... _threaten_ him?

Dorothea whistles, “Anselma. What a handful. That woman is _sad_. It’s a wonder Eddy didn’t turn into such a bitch herself. Well. _Sometimes_ she is.”

Byleth looks at her, “Is that any way to talk about someone you claim to be a _friend_?”

“Oh lighten up, Mr. Hedge Funds. It’s just the way us girls refer to one another when they’re, you know, acting in a _way_. _”_

“Or perhaps it’s just the sad and pathetic feelings of someone who can’t _stand_ to see someone else stealing a spotlight from them that was never there to _begin_ with.” Byleth mutters, not even wanting to waste his breath on Dorothea, “I’m sorry, what was your _name_ again?”

Dorothea rolls her eyes at Byleth, “Whatever. You’re nothing special yourself. Just like the rest of them anyway. With your _money_ and your _pomp_.” She pulls at the top of her dress and turns with a fluff of her long hair, “You’re not even that _cute_.”

Byleth watches her saunter her way off into the crowd probably to bother someone else and sighs, finally glad to be rid of Dorothea. Okay, let’s check on the state of things... Edelgard was with her mother ... now where in the world was Hubert? Byleth searches around the venue for awhile and finally screams inside his head in relief when he sees Hubert out on one of the balconies with the same demon from before. Okay, good. Still looks like he has his wits about him.

Hubert is smoking a cigarette and looks absolutely disinterested in the conversation he’s having. He eyes Byleth making his way in his direction and smiles. Ah, the demon. What could _he_ possibly want? The succubus shrieks at the sight of Byleth and tells Hubert that she has to go powder her nose.

Hubert watches her run off and turns to Byleth who seems to be smirking, “Was that one of your demon tricks?”

Byleth shakes his head, resting his arms on the ledge of the balcony, “Nah. That’s just my reputation proceeding me.”

“What?” Hubert taps some ash over the edge.

“You were talking to a succubus you know. Probably looking to latch onto you, have sex with you and then kill you in your sleep.” Byleth replies, “Actually, this whole hall is _littered_ with demons tonight. And here I was wanting to be _special_ and be the only one.”

“Do tell.” Hubert says.

“Artists.” Byleth explains, “Music, acting, singing. All of that stuff. Fraught with demonic energy. A lot of them here tonight are probably out seeking new blood. This type of shit is like a networking event for them.”

Hubert laughs, dark and hard, “And what of Edelgard?”

“She’s already got the biggest, baddest, scariest of the bunch. Hubert, my man. Nothing to _worry_ about.” Byleth replies. “Speaking of the _Queen,_ perhaps we should find her and see what she’s up to. I would be a piss poor King and _you_ , a lofty knight, if we weren’t in there to protect her.”

“A knight, huh? Are you using... chess anecdotes to explain the current situation?” Hubert questions as he stabs out his cigarette and tosses it over the side.

“Always. This is _war_ Hubert, didn’t you know?”

“Perhaps. For Edelgard.” Hubert muses, “My, she has had such a hard way to go. I sometimes look at her in amazement will all she’s done.”

They step back into the venue and Byleth turns to Hubert in curiosity, “You’ve known her the longest here, haven’t you?”

“How astute of you, _demon_. Yes. Well over a decade now. She was such a wallflower and I, the...” Hubert clears his throat, “...let’s not reminisce about those days shall we?”

“Wallflower?” Byleth asks as they pause in the room and both survey the room in search of Edelgard.

“Shy, quiet. 2B or 6B graphite pencils always lodged behind her ears. She used to dye her hair black back then. Too _much eyeliner_. Absolutely terrifying.” Hubert mutters to himself, “...She changed though, as we all do. I think she’s told you that she was in therapy once.”

“Somewhat.” Byleth replies as they momentarily give up the search for Edelgard and grab drinks from a white table nearby.

“Yes. Her ... uncle was the main reason for that.” Hubert eyes Byleth, “Very abusive that man. Even she won’t tell _me_ everything that happened. Sometimes I think her mother is no better.”

“Oh, yeah. We met.” Byleth rolls his eyes at the thought of his prior experience with Anselma.

“Absolutely insane as well.” Hubert mutters with restrained disdain. “I am telling you this in _confidence_ , Byleth. As much of a _demon_ as you are.... I have seen the good you have done for Edelgard. What juxtaposition. A demon. Doing _good_.”

“ _Finally_!” Byleth says, “Someone sees it. I’ve been thinking I was doing a shit job at this blood oath thing this time around and failing at every turn. It’s been a good couple of years since my last charge, you know?”

Hubert quirks an eyebrow, “And that was…”

“Beyoncé.” Byleth answers with zero hesitation, “I’m the reason Destiny’s Child split up. Mrs. Knowles-Carter is doing fabulously these days, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Oh. _Yes_. Those kids are absolutely adorable. And Jay-Z. What a _power_ couple.” Hubert nods in agreement, “Say, did you catch that episode last week…”

“Khloe and the never-ending Tristan saga, yes?” Byleth asks.

“Absolutely dreadful, those two.”

“I liked it better when she was with Lamar.”

“ _Please_ tell me you’re not talking about your stupid show.” Edelgard’s voice comes from behind them. Both man and demon turn to address the _queen_ and she sighs as she picks a glass of champagne up from the table, “Could you find nothing better to talk about than that brain rot?”

“What about if we talk about you instead?” Byleth chances, a hint of flirtation in his voice.

“Oh, my God. Everyone here is already doing enough of that.” Edelgard wrinkles her nose, “It’s overwhelming.”

Hubert gestures, “Well you look radiant tonight.”

“Splendiferous.” Byleth continues.

“Luminescent.” Hubert nods his head in agreement.

“Incandescent.”

“Stunning.”

“Uh …” Byleth pauses, “Hubert, help me out, I’m running out of synonyms.”

“Would you idiots _stop_ it?” Edelgard tucks some hair behind her ear as she tries to hide the faint blush coming across her face, “I know, I know. I look beautiful in this dress. You can stop telling me that already.”

“My, are you _blushing_ , Edelgard?” Hubert asks, his mirth hidden behind his glass of champagne.

“No. Not in the least.” Edelgard turns around to look over her shoulder, “It looks like everyone is enjoying themselves at least. I told my stepfather to help my mother get lost. God, she was already _wasted_ when she showed up to the gallery. Some time in the cold air outside would probably do her good.”

“Ah, Anselma.” Hubert mutters, “A picture of fading radiance that will never compare to her daughter.”

“Harsh.” Edelgard winces, “But true. Thank you, Hubert.”

“Yeah. _Thanks_ , Hubert.” Byleth turns to Edelgard, “Speaking of _radiance_ that will never compare, where’s Dorothea? Haven’t seen much of her since the night started.”

“Oh. She went home claiming fatigue or something or other…” Edelgard muttered. No, the truth was Byleth had _wounded_ her pride and left in some manner or another to find comfort in people that _mattered. …_ Professor Manuela? Ew, Edelgard didn’t want to think about it.

Byleth shrugs, not really caring either way. “So, then, El. You happy? Your whole thing is going off with a bang and no one has _died_ or gotten set on _fire_. Or any other horrible demon related thing you could possibly think of.”

“You’ve been on your best behavior tonight, aren’t you?”

“Aren’t I always?” Byleth asks, searching for some sort of praise.

“Not in the _least_.” Edelgard snaps, tipping her glass to her lips again. Ouch.

The soft music that was playing earlier dies down and a male with pale hair has come to the front of the stage in the center of the room. The lights around them dim and Byleth is about to say something before Edelgard shuts him up. Shh, my professor is about to make a speech. _Who_? My professor— _Thales_ —now shut up.

Thales raises his arms to the crowd before placing them on the podium before him. He adjusts the microphone, “Ladies and gentleman, esteemed guests, wonderful members of the press. I would like to thank you for your contribution to tonight’s affair, _A Representation of War_.”

Byleth shoots a side glance in Edelgard’s direction, “ _Who thought of_ that _title?”_

Edelgard massages the bridge of her nose, “ _Professor Thales. I tried to change it, but he wouldn’t allow it. It just… kind of stuck.”_

 _“So bloody. I_ like _it.”_ Byleth grins.

“ _You would._ ”

Thales continues, “Now, then. Where is my other half for this night? Edelgard? _Edelgard_? Where has that girl gotten off to? You can’t miss her, folks. Have you seen the _beautiful_ red dress she’s wearing tonight? An absolute _vision_ in red. It’s as if she took inspiration from that _grand_ painting we have on display here tonight.”

Byleth feels his nose twitch in disgust. Who was this old _pervert_ calling, El, _beautiful_? “ _This guy seems like a creep.”_

 _“Oh,_ shut _up, Byleth. You’re no better.”_ She sets her glass down and turns to Hubert and then cuts an eye at Byleth, “That’s my cue. Sorry you guys, I have go up there now and help with the proceedings. Stay on your best behavior, I’m counting on you.”

They watch as Edelgard makes her way through the crowd and ascends the steps of the stage to stand next to Thales. He smiles, “Ah, there she is. The other half responsible for this grand display of art you see around you. My, this girl has worked tirelessly to put this thing together. I ask myself if she even _slept_. You must tell us your _secret_ , Edelgard. Is there a _demon_ you’re hiding in your closet that helped you with everything?”

Edelgard laughs hesitantly and then smacks her professor’s arm in jest, “You flatter me, Professor Thales.”

Byleth sips his drink, Hubert snorts to himself as he looks at him. “He’s not too far off on that one.”

Thales continues, “Ah, yes. Yes. Anyway, let us continue. Tonight, in celebration for this grand affair, we will be auctioning off one painting. I think you know which _one_ I’m talking about.” He turns to Edelgard who’s walking over to a large and flat object on the stage with a satin red cover on it, “Edelgard, if you would do the honors?”

 _Auction?_ Byleth’s ears perk up. Edelgard never said anything about an _auction._ He watches her pull the sheet off the painting and, _oh, fuck._ Edelgard, what the _fuck_? It was the picture of the _Flame Emporer_ , looking as powerful and reserved as ever.

Thales gestures toward the picture, “Ah, yes. This beauty. Most of the details are foggy, but here’s a little bit of information…” He puts on his glasses and holds up an index card, “Realism with a flair of impressionism. Charcoal and oil base canvas, with a pastel and watercolor mixture to secure the color. Circa …somewhere in the mid-1600s. But, my, how wonderfully it’s held up in all those years, has it not?”

A murmur goes through the crowd about— _such a work of art—_ and Byleth is confused. He has no idea what any of these terms _mean_. Maybe he should brush up on his art knowledge for Edelgard’s sake.

Thales continues, “Quite the story behind this one. Edelgard, would you please continue?”

Edelgard nods, “Thank you, Professor Thales for your wonderful introduction. Yes, this painting is said to have come from somewhere in the Czech Republic. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact location, even with the amount of digging that I had to do to find it. But, the story goes… that this portrait is of a woman, a _queen_ , who once waged war with Heaven and sought to take the throne of _God_.”

“My the fables these works of art produce.” Thales laughs into the microphone and the crowd laughs along with him as well, “Remarkable to think that something would be possible, no?”

Edelgard glances toward the crowd, eyes searching for Byleth. Ah, there he is. Looking so … broody in the darkness. What’s gotten to him? She smiles softly, “Oh, I don’t know Professor. Maybe angels and demons _do_ exist. It would be something if they did, don't you think?”

“My, Edelgard, you must get some _sleep_ when this is all over. That’s nonsense.” He laughs again and the crowd continues to do so as well.

Byleth clenches his glass in his hands, eyes narrowing at Thales. _Keep it up, old pervert._

“Ah, yes. Anyway. That is enough talk for now. We shall start the bidding.” Thales nods to Edelgard as he steps down from the podium and allows Edelgard to assume control.

“Now then. Bidding will start at $1000 dollars…”

A voice from the back, feminine, calls out, “$1500.”

Byleth looks behind him and narrows his eyes. Oh, no. Fuck this. “$3000.” He calls out. Hubert is amused. The demon is joining the bidding war? How was _this_ going to go?

Edelgard startles when she hears Byleth’s voice, but she can’t lose her composure in front of all these people. “$3000… I hear …$3000…”

“$4000!” A drunk woman down in front. …Was that _Anselma_?

The feminine voice again, “$5000.”

What the fuck? Who _was_ that? Byleth turns back to Edelgard’s expectant eyes, “$7000.”

Edelgard blinks. What in the world was going _on_ here? “Okay. $7000. Any other—“

“$8000!” An old man who can’t see straight.

The feminine voice grows closer now and Byleth turns to look at her. He winces as the smell hits him, but can’t pinpoint what or who it is. Angel. _Yes_. But, who? She chances a glance in Byleth’s direction, “$9000.”

Byleth grabs another glass of champagne and makes eye contact with her as well, “$10,000.”

Someone else in the crowd tries to enter the foray, “$12—“

The woman chuckles to herself and cuts him off, “$20,000.” The other voice in the crowd groans and backs down.

Byleth has had _enough_ of this. He turns back to look at Edelgard who’s confused as ever and takes a sip of his champagne. _“…$100,000_.”

The crowd starts murmuring again and Edelgard looks at Byleth’s direction with wide eyes. “ _Have you lost your fucking mind!?”_

_“No.”_

She looks at Thales and he shrugs at her like—don’t question it, that’s money the department _needs—_ and Edelgard nods, “…$100,000… going once … going _twice_ …” The woman before just stares at Byleth and shrugs as if conceding defeat. Byleth sneers at her, _ugh_ , that angelic energy. Get _away_ from him. Edelgard’s voice comes back as she slams the gavel down on the podium, “Sold to the _gentleman_ in the back! Thank you very much everyone.”

Thales claps as Edelgard steps down from the podium and resumes his position, “Thank you, Edelgard. Yes, folks. Thank you for your wondrous contribution, the arts always need them. As for the painting, it will go back on display until the end of the night and it goes home with its _new_ owner. Without further ado, I implore you to enjoy yourself for the rest of the night.”

—

Byleth’s standing outside with Hubert, both of them smoking a cigarette after the auction. Welp. He just bought a picture of his old lover for … $100,000. Not a bad way to almost end the night. What should he do with it? Hang it up in the office? Give it to El? Snuggle up with it in his bed at night?

His musings are cut short when Hubert casts a curious eye Byleth’s way. “Did you buy that painting because it _looks_ like Edelgard?” Hubert muses, “Perhaps, a piece of art to keep by when you’re missing her lovely visage?”

“No, I bought it because she _loves_ the damn thing. Did you see her _face_ when it arrived earlier this week? I couldn’t let it get away from her. Besides, if she doesn’t want it, I’ll just keep it in my office or something.”

“Ah, yes. Your office in _Hell,_ I presume?” Hubert asks.

“It’s been looking a little drab lately. Could use some art to spruce up the place.”

“ _Right_.” Hubert replies in disbelief.

Byleth takes another drag of his cigarette when he eyes Edelgard coming out of the gallery and looking around for something. When she spots the two of them outside in the corner smoking, she sighs in relief. Her face is neutral as she picks up her dress to descend the steps and walk over to them. She slaps Byleth on the shoulder and he nearly chokes while he’s inhaling his cigarette.

“ _What_ was _that_?” She asks, her voice going up a bit. “You _bought_ the painting? Do you even have _money_ for something like that?”

Byleth chuckles at her and flicks some ash onto the ground, “I can come up with it. You know. At my hedge fund job or whatever.”

“ _Byleth_.” She warns him, “Please _tell_ me you can pay for it.”

“Of _course_ I can. Do you know what an easy trick it is to just conjure money into existence? Who do you think’s been the person keeping this damn country afloat with all of the debt they have looming over their head? The Federal Reserve is _filled_ with demons.”

Hubert raises his eyebrows in vague interest, “ _Really_?”

“Yeah. Full of’em.” Byleth answers.

“Of _course_ it is. Why didn’t I think of that sooner?” Edelgard rolls her eyes and sighs as she begins to relax again, “At any rate… I guess I should thank you. I do love that painting… how _kind_ of you to buy it for me.”

Byleth smirks at her, “Who said I’m giving it to _you_? That painting is _mine_.”

“ _What_?” Edelgard asks in disbelief.

Hubert chuckles, “He’s going to put it in his _office_ , he says.”

Edelgard balks, “Wha… _Byleth_. Seriously?”

Byleth takes another drag of his cigarette. “Maybe I can bring you down sometime. You can look at it all you want. Whaddaya say?”

“Ugh. No.” Edelgard frowns, “I refuse to go back down … _there_ if I can help it.”

Byleth is about to respond when they hear someone calling for Edelgard from behind them. Ah, that was one of El’s professors right? The one that was standing with her on the stage for the auction. A sharp and serious looking man with greying hair. Oh, yeah, the pervert that had made that comment about her dress … _Thales?_ Byleth can’t remember. Too many humans, doesn’t care about them at all. But, maybe he should keep an eye on this one.

Edelgard turns over to look over her shoulder and then back to the boys, “I have to go. That’s Professor Thales. Probably wants to talk about how the night is going. I’ll catch up with you two later…” She trails off, “…Please _continue_ to mind your manners. …You both have been great to me tonight. … _Thank_ you.”

—

Byleth is back inside, another glass of champagne in hand, and staring at the painting … that’s _finally_ his. It looks a little different tonight, hanging in the lights of the gallery and glaring down at anyone that passes by it.

The demons of the night have noticed his lingering by the painting and murmur to themselves to keep it moving. _Everyone_ in Hell knows of this story. Don’t need to incite the ire of one of the kings of Hell by gawking at him like some type of freak show. Besides, Byleth would probably kill them when they all got back to Hell, and there was no need for such blatant insolence.

 _Well… I kind of got a part of you back. Now to just figure out the rest, hm?_ He takes another sip of his champagne when a female voice interrupts his thoughts.

“The _Flame Emporer,_ hm?”

Byleth turns to look over at his shoulder as that woman from before—the one who was trying to outbid him—comes up beside him. Long green hair, not… so green eyes. Long white dress, poise. He winces slightly. There it is again, that faint … celestial smell about her. But, he can’t pick out the rest. Who _is_ this? “Yes. It’s beautiful, no?”

“Yes, quite. I must congratulate you for winning our bidding war. It seems you wanted this painting _very_ badly.” She bows slightly to Byleth and then turns back to look at the painting, “Have you heard the stories about this piece? Beyond what little that _girl_ was able to explain?”

“No, please. Do enlighten me.” Byleth sips his champagne, turns an eye on the tall woman. Something familiar about this one. Has to be some type of high level ethereal neck ache with the way she’s blocking Byleth’s senses some how.

“A long … long time ago … when Heaven and Hell were at war—“ When weren’t they? “…They say this woman—this _princess—_ came to claim the seat of God with a demon at her side. I think they called the demon the … _Fallen One?_ The… _Gender Confused Abomination? Morally Corrupt Freak?”_

 _“_ The Ashen Demon. They were called, the _Ashen Demon_.”

“Oh, forgive me. The _Ashen_ whatever. Probably had ashy knees. Or feet. Or a brain. Anyway, my, they were _so_ close. Almost killed God. But, oh well. They failed and _fell_ in such a glorious and righteous way. Why, it must have been so beautiful.” The woman smiles softly at him, “I wish I was _there_ to see it myself.”

His senses finally clear. _Rhea._ Of course. He can feel his ire growing as he looks at the woman beside him. “I’m _sure_ you did. Seeing as you were part of the reason it happened.”

“Ah. It appears I have been discovered.” Rhea sighs, “Byleth. Such a _long_ time. How’s Hell treating you? I think … I’m beginning to see some crow’s feet on those eyes. My, you must be _stressed_.”

“What are you here for, Rhea?” Byleth asks, “Nothing good, I suspect.”

“Just coming to check out how the repugnant fool of Hell and the poor _girl_ you conned into a contract are doing.” Rhea replies, “My, you must be careful, Byleth. You know Sothis and Lucifer have been talking about your dealings, haven’t they?”

Of _course,_ he had. Everyone was. “And?”

“You should be more discreet.” Rhea replies, “That’s all I’m saying. Wouldn’t want to risk another _war_ now would you? Seeking entry into the Hall of Memories, are you?”

How the fuck did she—Byleth’s grip tightens around his glass of champagne and doesn’t respond.

“I overhead Mother’s conversation. It is my responsibility to know _all_ of what’s going on in Heaven and Hell seeing as her replacement went and …” Rhea casts a glance toward Byleth and frowns, “…Never mind that. You will _never_ get in there, Byleth. There’s a reason they won’t let you in. And you know that. Such a shame. Looking for your lover for all these years and never being able to find her. I wonder why _that_ could be.”

“I should have killed you when I had the chance.”

“You should have. But you didn’t.” Rhea replies calmly, “And that’s why I took _her_ life instead. So sad. Oh, so tragic. My, I didn't know demons could cry until I saw you.” She gazes back up at the portrait, “And now all you have is this sad little portrait of her in her glory days. My… what a sad and beautiful tale of love and defeat.”

Byleth takes another sip of his champagne, “While we’re talking about sad, you should mind your little angel trainee.”

“Who? Flayn?” Rhea asks, laughing softly, “That child lacks any sort of intelligence, but she’s harmless.”

Byleth chuckles himself, “Oh, I don’t know about that. Might end up with a new _transfer_ to Hell soon if she keeps it up.”

“Flayn would _never_ fall in such a way. With me as her pinnacle of guidance, she will flourish into the Left Hand of God as Mother intended her to be.”

“Yeah, God doesn’t make _mistakes,_ does she?” Byleth mutters.

He hit a nerve with that one and Rhea has decided that it’s time to cut the conversation short. “Ah. At any rate, while I have enjoyed this … wonderful conversation with you, perhaps you should turn your attention elsewhere…”

Byleth frowns at her, “What?”

“That… precious charge of yours. I would _hate_ to see something happen to her on such an _important_ night in her life.” Rhea replies as she turns to walk away, “So impressionable that one. You know what they say about men in academia who are in charge of … _young,_ beautiful, women.” She looks over her shoulder, “Do stay well Byleth, it would be a shame for you to _die_ on us, again.”

Byleth doesn’t bother to watch Rhea as she walks off through the crowd and disappears to attend to whatever God forsaken angel mess she had come to do here. He hopes the demons littered about the hall trip her on her way out.

He sees Hubert over by the refreshment table talking to … another succubus. Jeez, this guy knew how to pull them in, didn’t he? Byleth walks up to Hubert and doesn’t even acknowledge the succubus cowering at the sight of him, “Hubert. _Hubert_. Have you seen, El?”

Hubert shakes his head and gestures; “I think she might have gone upstairs with that professor of hers to the offices or something.” He burps and covers his mouth— _excuse me, it’s all this champagne._ “ _Why_?”

Byleth waves him away and starts making his way through the crowd, through the double doors leading into the lecture halls and meeting rooms of the art department. He tries to listen for Edelgard’s voice, hear _something_ , but there are too many people. So much _noise_ in this place. Ugh. He scales the steps leading back upstairs to Edelgard’s office and it’s … a little quieter up here. Dark, too. Too dark.

He let’s himself into the hall where they had began their night and stops in his tracks. There’s a light on, and he can hear Edelgard’s muffled voice coming from an office at the end of the hall. She’s laughing, sounds cheerful. What could be so bad? Maybe Rhea was just fucking with him, she was always doing that. Kind of wicked for an angel, don’t you think?

Byleth is about to turn around and give Edelgard some privacy when he hears the faint sounds of a gasp and _professor, no_. He promptly turns right back around and lines himself up against the wall next to the cracked open door. Byleth tries to peer into the room. What’s that old pervert doing to El?

In the room, Edelgard slaps away Thales’ hand that had landed on her knee and was slowly moving toward gripping her thigh. He pushes away the fabric of her dress and chuckles as she rebuffs his advances. “ _Professor_ , please.”

“Oh, come on, Edelgard.” Thales laughs at her sudden demureness, “You’ve wanted this for a long time, haven’t you? Always in my office talking about _professor_ this and _professor_ that. All those _long_ hours you’ve spent here working. Always stopping by for a quick chat before you leave.”

“Are you _drunk_?” She asks him, eyeing the bottle of whisky that’s on his table. He had poured a glass—a celebration he proclaimed—and gave it to her, but she told him no.

“Drunk on _you_.” Thales laughs again, like it’s all so funny. He sips his whisky and leans in closer, “Look at you, showing up here tonight in that _dress_. Who were you trying to impress Edelgard?”

“I…” This has to be some type of _mistake_. “No one. This was all for me. Tonight is such an important time that…”

“That _what_? You wanted to be _beautiful_ just for one night? Tch, you young women. I’ve heard it all before.” Thales throws back another glass of whisky and reaches for the bottle again, “There’s been others before you. Grad students who are need of _recommendations_ from me. Need the connections, the clout. You’ll just be another one. Another one in a long, _long_ chain that never ends.”

“I don’t need _any_ of that from you.” She shirks back as he leans forward again to grab her arm now, “Stop that.”

“How _else_ are you going to get anywhere in this world, Edelgard? Do you know what power _really_ is?” Thales laughs as she smacks his hand away, “It’s just one night, sweetheart. You leave here with me when all of this is over, we do the deed and you’ll get _whatever_ it is that you want for the rest of your life. It’s not that hard. Think of it as … as a business transaction.”

“I will work for what is mine on my own merit.” Edelgard snaps, “I don’t need to have sex with my _professor_ to get ahead in this world.”

“My, for _such_ a smart and driven woman you are _stupid._ ” Thales slams his hand on the desk, “ _Stupid_. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.” A bang for every emphasis of his words. “You think because you were able to get one little painting in here that suddenly you’re top dog? This is a _man’s_ world, Edelgard. You get that degree and _what_? What are you going to do? Be some starving artist, barely scraping by because you’re doing what you _love_?”

Edelgard frowns, “Yes. I _will_. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to return to the gallery and tend to our guests. I’ll continue this conversation with you when you’re _sober._ ” She goes to stand up out of her chair and make her way for the door.

“No, you’re _not_. Get back here.” Thales gets up out of his chair and goes to block it, “You’re not going _anywhere_.”

Edelgard’s scream becomes muffled and Byleth can only make out a— _get off of me_ —when he’s decided he’s heard enough. He slams the door open and is greeted with a view of Thales, grappling Edelgard from behind as he tries to pull her dress off. They're both too slow to react, because Byleth has his hands around Thales’ neck in an instant and is applying pressure in a precise and concentrated effort.

“ _Byleth_?” Edelgard stumbles away from Thales as his grip on her loosens and she tries to fix her dress over her shoulder. Oh my God, he’s … he’s killing him. Her eyes widen and her breath hitches, “Byleth. _Byleth stop._ You’re hurting …you’re _killing_ him!”

Byleth doesn’t respond, eyes turning into a low and hazy red as he stares down at the man gasping for breath underneath him. Thales struggles, looking into the eyes of this man—this _demon?—_ who has currently interrupted his previous assault. He hits at Byleth’s hands, coughs, “Let me go… _let me go_.”

Edelgard shakes Byleth from behind. It’s like he’s not even _here_ right now. “Please. Stop. _Byleth!”_

It’s only when Thales passes out from lack of oxygen does Byleth finally let go, falls out of his trance, and steps back away from the comatose body on the floor. He looks up at Edelgard and chances coming toward her, but she takes a step back out of fear. Ah, fuck. He scared her again. “…El. Are you okay?”

“…Why did you _do_ that? I told you _no_ killing!” Edelgard cries.

“He was _going_ to assault you.” Byleth replies, almost as enraged, “What? Did you want me to let that happen?”

“Oh my God. I can’t… please. I can’t deal with you right now.” Edelgard mutters as she’s pulling her phone out, “What did you _do_? People are going to think I murdered someone.”

“He’s not dead.” Byleth replies, kicking at the limp form of Thales.

“You had your _hands_ around his neck.” Edelgard is struggling to type the numbers into her phone.

“Stop worrying. It’ll come up as a heart attack.” Byleth mutters, “It’s always a heart attack. You know how many demons go around killing humans like I just did?” He flexes his hands, “I’m not from this realm. No fingerprints. No evidence. You’re safe. Is that what you’re really worried about here?”

“ _Yes_.” Edelgard cries, “Do you have any _idea_ what you could have done here?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was protecting you from getting r—“

Edelgard turns away as she’s making her way down the hallway, “ _Shut_ up, _Byleth_.” She’s on the phone now— _Yes, hello? I need an ambulance, my professor, he’s…_

Byleth watches her retreating form and sighs. He doesn’t know what to do. He was protecting her, wasn’t he? He runs a hand over his face and returns downstairs. Edelgard is talking to someone, looks like another faculty member and they take off running somewhere. He surveys the room; no one has seemed to notice the commotion yet. He … he needs some air. It’s … stuffy in this stupid gallery.

He finds Hubert outside, alone for once, but smoking another cigarette all the same. Hubert nods in camaraderie and offers Byleth another cigarette, which he graciously accepts. Hubert inhales long and hard, “My… what a busy night.”

“Did you see El?” Byleth asks.

“She looked absolutely enraged. Inconsolable.” He chances a look at Byleth, “Did something _happen_ , demon?”

Byleth flinches as he hears the sirens nearing the gallery now. Hubert looks at the honking and flair of lights and then back at Byleth. Byleth flicks his cigarette, “You could say that.”

Hubert raises his eyebrows, vaguely amused. Oh, so there _would_ be drama tonight. Edelgard comes out of the gallery a few minutes later and starts directing the emergency crew to where they need to be. _Please, hurry. My professor just stopped breathing and—_ they assure her he’s in good hands and to not worry about a thing. They might need her later for a statement, but it’s going to be _okay_.

After they rush in, she sits down on one of the ledges by the steps, grabs her head and starts shaking it. Her breathing is labored, like she’s on the verge of a panic attack. She feels eyes on her and turns around. Byleth catches her eyes change into pure _malice_ at the sight of him, hops down off the ledge, walks around the bend and comes up to Hubert and Byleth who are standing around smoking. Hubert mutters an _uh-oh_ and steps away from the small, wrathful spirit in red currently coming their way. 

Edelgard whips her hand around, heels clicking maddeningly, and jabs him in the chest. “In my office. _NOW.”_

Byleth doesn’t even say anything in response as he watches her turn back around and make her way back into the gallery.

At his side, Hubert whistles long and low. He sticks his cigarette back in his mouth, “Wow. What the _fuck_ did you do now, demon?”

—

Edelgard slams the door behind them and turns to Byleth with the most rage he’s ever seen her display. He eyes her dress or a minute and swallows thickly. Maybe it’s the dress. Maybe it’s her emotions. Maybe it’s some power that she’s been harboring deeply in herself for a long time that he hasn’t seen until _now_. Whatever it is, he doesn’t like it one bit. She _almost_ looks like … no. She doesn’t. Stop it.

“I told you.” She starts, slamming her hands on her desk, “I _fucking_ told you. No. Demon. Shit. Tonight.”

“…It wasn’t …” Byleth starts, “Edelgard, I was _protecting_ you. Contract orders, remember?”

“Like that makes it any _better?”_ Her voice slowly inclines from a whisper to a near hiss in tone. “You fucking. What do you think you were _doing_?”

“He was _touching_ you. He was trying to have his way with you and I was putting an end to it.” Byleth snaps back, wondering why in the world all of this was making her so angry. “Why? Did you want him to continue? Did you _want_ to have sex with him like he was suggesting?”

“I’ve been through way _worse_ than some fucking creepy professor who thinks he can have his way with one of his students!” Edelgard yells back at him, “You have _no_ fucking clue!”

Byleth blinks, things start to click. “I don’t ... so why don’t you _tell_ me then.”

“No! You don’t get to know what happened to me. You don’t get to know about _any_ of that stuff.” Edelgard snaps, “I can’t even trust you enough to get this shit right. What makes you think I can trust you with information like that?”

She won’t budge on that line of questioning, so Byleth tries a different approach. “I don’t understand. Why aren’t you _thanking_ me for this? You _said_ you wanted this night to be perfect. And I made it just _that._ Perfect.” Byleth narrows his eyes at her.

“No. I told you NO. _DEMON_. **SHIT.** And what do you do? You disobeyed my every orders! From this _dress_ , to how I’m _feeling_ , to almost killing my fucking professor, who’s the _head of my fucking graduate committee, Byleth!”_

“I was _helping.”_ Byleth protests.

“I NEVER ASKED FOR _ANY_ OF IT!” Edelgard screams at him, completely fed up with how stupid Byleth could possibly be, “I’ve told you time and time again, if I want help I’ll fucking _ask_ for it, Byleth! But you _never_ obey. You never _fucking_ listen to **me**!”

Byleth tries to lessen the tension of the mood and says, “Are we having a lovers spat right now?” And that just serves to increase Edelgard’s ire.

 _“_ Do you know what type of scandal you could have started? Do you know have any _idea_ what’s going to be in the papers tomorrow with the cops and ambulance showing up? Do you know what stories they could write? This was supposed to be _my_ chance, my one fucking chance to start something that I’ve always wanted and you destroyed it in _one_ fucking night.”

Byleth is at a loss for words. Humor won’t fix it. Apologizing probably won’t either, but he could try. “El... I’m ... I’m _sorry.”_

“No, you’re not. You’re _never_ fucking sorry.” He can hear the pain seeping into her voice. She turns away from him and starts wiping at her eyes. It’s ruined. All of it is ruined. “You’re just saying that to get out of shit. Like you always do. You never fucking own up to anything that you do and I’m _tired_ of it. And _stop_ calling me, El. You don’t deserve to call me that anymore.”

 _Ouch_. Byleth looks at the floor and sighs, “...Please. Tell me what I can do to fix this.”

“Please. Just. Go back to Hell where you fucking belong. I don’t want to see you right now.”

“Edelgard.” Byleth tries, not entirely sure what to say to the girl in front of him.

“I _command_ you to go back to Hell, Byleth.”

He feels something kind of … pulling at his feet. Oh, _this_. Fuck. He looks back up at Edelgard. She’s not going to budge. She doesn’t want _anything_ to do with you right now. _Fuck, Byleth_. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Byleth looks down at the oozing black and red circle forming around his feet and sighs. _Fuck_ , why did he imbue that dress with so much of his power?

“I’m … going to go back for awhile. Let you cool off.” Byleth mutters, kicking at the scaly black hands grasping at his feet. Fuck off; he’ll go when he feels like it. Her words didn’t have _that_ much power over him. “You … call me when you want to talk.”

“ _If_ I ever want to talk.” Edelgard snaps. “ _Go_.”

The ground gives way before he can do anything else and there he goes. Falling back into Hell. Byleth watches the last traces of Edelgard’s world fade from view and turns over in the air, letting the last vestiges of the night fall from his skin. He grounds himself for the force of impact, feeling his form change back into a female in demon regalia.

Byleth lifts her gaze to the portal from before and sees nothing but a simmering blackness there. So much anger, so much rage. She tries to tune into Edelgard, nothing. Blank. Blocked. She doesn’t want anything to do with you right now, idiot.

Byleth sucks her teeth as she turns around and starts walking down the path in search of a place for a sigil to get back to her domain. Ah, she _forgot_ the fucking painting in her departure. Ugh, she wasn’t going to try and go back to the surface and steal it away from Edelgard. Her charge would probably condemn her right back to Hell … _where she fucking belongs_.

Byleth puffs her cheeks out as she sighs and glances about to determine where she is. Probably the Fourth Layer… so many money piles lying about and people fighting for them. She begins walking, pulls out her phone. Claude. Let’s call Claude.

He answers after two rings, “Hey, Chief.”

“Claude.”

“What are you doing calling me now? I thought you had Edelgard’s gallery thing tonight…” He listens to the tone of her voice. “...Youuuu… fuck up again?”

“I fucked up again.” Byleth replies.

“Gotcha. Meet you down at the usual in five.”

“Thanks.” She ends the call. Another long sigh.

Byleth glances back up toward the surface with a tiny bit of hope. Nothing. Silence. She shrugs her way out of her regalia and lets it fade away in favor of her typical leather jacket and boots. Something comfortable. It _does_ feel kind of nice to be out of that suit and back in this form again. It doesn’t _feel_ nice … being away from El, though… making her so angry … making her so… nope. No point in focusing on that right now.

With a sigh, Byleth continues on.

So much for perfect, _huh_.


	12. Let's Relate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something short and sweet. 
> 
> Last chapter was long. Next chapter, longer.

“ _Whew_ , By. You done fuckeddddd _up_.”

Claude is sitting with her in some cafe on the Styx, leafing through a newspaper as they wait for their breakfast to arrive, “Your biggest blowout with your favorite-not-girlfriend-maybe-girlfriend-who-knows is _still_ on the front page of every tabloid in Heaven and Hell right now. Shit, hasn’t it been like … a week already?”

Byleth readjusts the sunglasses over her eyes, pulls the baseball cap a little tighter on her head. Claude can’t tell if the sunglasses are an attempt to hide from the public, hungover from binge drinking last night, or if … she’s been crying and wants to hide her eyes.

“Thanks, Claude.”

“Shit, wasn’t trying to rub salt into the wound, Chief. Just…” Claude looks down at the newspaper again. “…Nevermind. Let’s leave it alone.”

Byleth has been silent all morning. Actually, she’d been like this for _awhile_ now and Claude was getting just a _little_ bit tired of trying to figure out what he should do with her. His latest gesture? Taking her out to breakfast.

It was a nice, warm day in Hell and neither of them had anything to do. Why not _enjoy_ the beautiful perpetually hot weather and each other’s company as well. Well, that’s what Claude had _intended_. But, Byleth had been sitting there for the better portion of their time together just staring at her phone and then staring off into the distance. Quiet.

He found her that morning wrapped up in the blankets of her bed, bottles of alcohol occupying the other side instead of the usual harem girl he was so accustomed to finding. Her eyes were red, unfocused, and angry when he threw open the curtains to the room and she hissed at him. Let her go back to the _darkness_ where she fucking belonged, Claude.

He pushed her into the shower, told her to make herself _nice_ and _pretty_ and get ready to spend a wonderful day doing nothing but relaxing with him… but that _really_ wasn’t happening right now, was it? He doesn’t mention the fact that he saw that dead and convulsing carrier demon on the floor with a discarded letter next to him, when he went to try and clean up some of the mess in her room. A folded letter addressed to Edelgard. It hadn’t even been opened, the words, bold and bright— _fuck off, Byleth._

She refused to talk all that much about what had happened on the night of the gallery mishap. Claude had tried to poke his way in, get the story out of her before anyone else did. But, all Byleth wanted to do was drink herself into oblivion and lose herself in some pretty face with white hair that almost looked like … _yeah_. Probably the only time she regretted a random hook-up, he supposes.

Then there was that time they went to the strip club and a thick succubus proceeded to bend over and shake her ass in Byleth’s face— _you like this phat ass, mami_? No. Not really. Byleth kind of just stared at her ass as it bounced against her face, gaze unwavering. Any other day she would have been _all_ over that woman, slapping her ass and telling them to give it to her.

Claude showed up every night. Wanna do something, By? Wanna go drinking, By? How about a fishing date, By? Wanna go harass some humans, By? But, no. She would shut him down, put her helmet over her head as she mounted her bike— _I’m going for a ride. Leave me alone_. And disappear off to some part of Hell where she hoped no one would find her.

She had shown her face at Lucifer’s anti-Christmas rager for one hour and then slipped away. They didn’t really notice she was gone until Paimon was screaming _—WHERE IS BYLETH TO DO HIS TIME HONORED TRADITION OF SMACKING THE VIRGIN’S ASS—_ but the sulky demon was nowhere to be found.

Claude had been desperate enough to even ask _Lucifer_ to try and help fix Byleth’s dour mood. Lucifer, always a fan of spas, had booked out the _entire_ place for them. Facials, detoxifying body treatments, massages all damn day, the _sauna,_ and finishing the day with a manipedi. Lucifer had been smiles all day, asked Byleth— _Ah, don’t you feel better_? Byleth had looked at her manicure on her fingers—black and red, a _classic_. She shrugs as she leaves him gaping in her wake. _Sure, Luc._

Just _what_ is he supposed to do?

Claude looks up at her and sighs, “Byleth.”

If she heard him, she doesn't look at him. Just looks at her phone again and slouches back into her seat.

“You can’t keep doing this forever.” Claude says, looking behind him as a demon waitress comes sauntering up to their table in the corner. She sets their food down and he thanks her.

Byleth shifts in her seat, “I will as long as she continues to do so.”

“Okay, that’s _it._ ” Claude turns his chair toward Byleth and moves to snatch those _stupid_ ass sunglasses off her face, “ _Byleth._ Would you look at me?”

Byleth sighs, indignant, eyes looking to the ceiling, instead of meeting Claude’s gaze. Her mouth is tight, like a child throwing a tantrum. She doesn’t want to talk about this. She doesn't want to acknowledge what happened. She should just _stay_ in Hell like Edelgard told her to.

“You’re upset. She’s upset. You’re both being _idiots_ about this whole thing.” Claude places his hands on the wood in front of him and presses into it. He starts writing into the wood in an eerie, green, glowing light. Oh, he’s drawing a picture of Byleth looking angry… he’s not very good at it either. “I know you won’t tell me the specifics, but I think I can guess what happened from your drunken rumblings over this past week. Here’s you, being broody and male in the corner. You’re there for Edelgard, watching her enjoy her night. Making sure everyone’s acting right. Good stuff, right?” Claude slides his finger down the table and draws what Byleth thinks is an … _old_ man? Looks more like a sheep. “But, then you hear her professor trying to force himself on her. You happened to be _there_ at the same moment that it was happening. You got angry, you wanted to _protect_ her. You attack him. You _did_ what you _thought_ was right, okay?”

Byleth glares two very red, very _pissed_ off eyes at Claude. But, she allows him to continue. See what he has to say. She’ll decide if she’ll cleave his head in two after he’s finished.

“Now, let’s look at this from _Edelgard’s_ point of view.” He starts drawing a smiley looking Edelgard into the table, “She’s ecstatic. Having the best damn night of her life. She’s finally the artistic princess that everyone loves and adores. Her demon is acting right, everyone is saying she’s the belle of the ball.” He draws the same old sheepy looking man, “Then, someone gets a little too handsy and her _demon_ comes out of nowhere and starts to _choke_ him to death. Well, near death. She’s afraid of this blatant act of violence happening in front of her and thinks you’re out of control. Like a wild animal let out of its cage.” He slides his hand over Edelgard’s glowy green picture and draws her again, looking angry, “Now we’re both angry, yeah?”

“ _Claude_.” Byleth’s voice is deep and growly.

Claude nods his head in understanding; he doesn’t have much time before he dies. “So then the smiley artistic princess and her broody demon don’t see eye to eye about the situation.” His voice goes up to imitate what he thinks Edelgard sounds like, “You’re too _violent_ , Byleth! I could have punched him in the face if I wanted!” He lowers his voice to sound like Byleth, “No, Edelgard! Fuck that old man. I’m going to tear him to _fucking_ shreds for even thinking about touching you.” He resumes his normal voice and raises the glowing green pictures of Byleth and Edelgard off the table, “You’re stupid. No, you’re stupid! You’re such a _demon_ , Byleth! You’re such a _human_ , Edelgard! I don’t know why—“

“That’s _enough.”_ She pounds her fist on the table and leans forward to snatch her sunglasses back from Claude.

Claude reclines back in his chair as Byleth swipes at him, “I’m not done.” He says, dismissing the horribly drawn caricatures of Byleth and Edelgard out of the air. “This sad ass silent treatment is doing neither of you any good. She’s probably up there right now missing your stupidity, and you’re down here dreaming about her _ass_. What you two _need_ to do is sit down and talk. Like a grown ass _human_ and _demon._ And then… you can get to …” He draws another green picture in the air Byleth and Edelgard… _uhm_ … Byleth isn’t really shaped like that … and Edelgard doesn’t have those on her…

Byleth swipes at the stupid ass picture again and huffs. She takes a swig of her mimosa and slams it down on the table, “Don’t you think I _want_ to talk to her? Don’t you _think_ I want to go up there and apologize?”

“ _Why_ don’t you?” Claude asks, twirling her sunglasses in his hand.

“I did. Once. A few nights ago.” Byleth replies, finally leaning forward to snatch her sunglasses back from Claude and put them on her face, “I went in through the sigil in the hallway closet when it was nighttime.” Byleth’s laugh is self-deprecating, “You know what I found?”

“What, By?” Claude asks, finally able to eat his food. Well, he wasn’t dead. _Yet._

“She had crossed out the sigil. There were knife markings in the wall. A bunch of them, like she was trying to carve it out of the fucking wall.” Byleth sinks back into the chair again, “She had written the words— _don’t fucking come back—_ in red. Drew X marks all over the sigil as well. I was wondering why it was so hard for me to get through … but …”

“Hm.” Claude looks to the sky, “Well. You should try again. Make a grand display. An apology. Bring her _flowers_. Women _love_ flowers, By.”

“Claude…” Byleth sighs again, resting an arm on the table beside her. She grasps the mimosa and swirls it around, “…I don’t think she wants to see me. Ever. _Again_.”

Claude’s decided he’s had enough. He slaps Byleth upside the head so hard, her head physically _turns._ She winds her head back around …and she _really_ looks like she’s going to smite him. “ _Byleth_. You _fucking_ idiot. I thought you were a King of Hell, third in command of Lucifer’s elite? Why are you acting like such a sniveling crybaby right now?” He leans in, pokes her in the chest, “I _know_ what’s going on in there. And you know it, too. She probably does as well, just doesn’t want to admit it to.”

Byleth has taken off her sunglasses and baseball cap and stands up so she’s hovering over Claude, “I’m going to fucking _kill_ you.” She’s turning… _oh_ , her aura is getting _really_ red right now. That’s a good sign.

“Do it, By.” Claude says, not even fazed by Byleth’s threats, “ _Do_ it. I fucking dare you. Show me what a real _King of Hell_ you are. Cause at this point, I don’t see it anymore. Fuck, that stupid angel, _Flayn,_ is more of a King than you are.”

Oh. _That_ was it. Byleth picks the table up and flips it over, knocking their food and drinks onto the ground. Byleth slams a hand on Claude’s chair and he doesn’t even blink. She gets really close to his face, bares her fangs at him. Oh, they’re looking sharper. Oh, and those eyes, they’re practically _bleeding_ red. _Good_! She’s getting back to her usual self then, “Oh, I _will_. After I settle things with, El, you better start preparing for your _fucking_ funeral, Claude.”

“Can’t wait.” Claude says, clasping his hands in his lap and settling back into his chair. He chews rather disgustingly to show his utter disbelief in her threats. Damn, he was really looking forward to eating the rest of his eggs benedict.

Byleth puts her sunglasses and baseball cap back on and snarls at him, before leaving the café, in a heated… yet, _passionate,_ fury. Claude simply looks at the mess of food on the floor and chuckles. Trickery at it’s finest.

 _Damn_ , he was good.

—

Byleth inhales deeply as she forces her way through the sigil in the hall closet. She falls through with an unceremonious thump and hits her head on the vacuum cleaner. She’d have to repair this shit after setting things right with, Edelgard. Byleth picks up the flowers that she dropped and rubs her head as she reaches up and let’s herself out of the closet.

It’s the early afternoon. What … time is it? What _month_ is it? The end of December? January? Byleth doesn’t remember. Time in Hell doesn’t pass in quite the same way as it does up here. She gets to her feet and brushes herself off. Okay. It’s quiet. _Too_ quiet. Where was everyone? Had she … come up here for nothing? Was Edelgard even _home_? She sniffs the air, lingering traces of Hubert… and, oh. She _was_ home. What was she doing?

Byleth walks quietly along the creaky floorboards and winces. Fuck this stupid old ass apartment. She was trying to be sneaky here. She can hear Edelgard’s voice coming from her room. She’s on the phone with someone… _Dorothea, are you guys coming yet? I’m almost done packing and we need to hit the road already. The forecast says the snowstorm is gonna hit tonight and I want to be at the cabin before…_ Byleth raises her eyebrows in curiosity. Where was she _going_?

Byleth tries to steel herself as the door to Edelgard’s room swings open. She’s got a duffel bag on her shoulder, coat, a beanie, and … why does she look like she’s going _skiing_? She’s still on the phone as she closes her door behind her and pauses to fiddle with something in her hand. When she looks up, Byleth feels a shiver go up her spine.

The surge of anger that rises between the two of them almost knocks Byleth off her fucking feet. Edelgard’s face goes tight and she puts the phone back up to her ear, “How far are you? Five minutes? Okay, I’ll come downstairs. See you then.” _Click_. She just _stares_ at Byleth. Not saying a word.

“I got you flowers.” Byleth says, holding her arm out and shoving the bouquet of roses in Edelgard’s direction, “I … I think human women like that. I …”

Edelgard doesn’t say anything, just walks right past the demon and continues on her way to the front door. She’s putting her shoes on. Oh, those are _cute._ Are they new? No, Byleth, you idiot. _Concentrate._

Byleth follows after her, “El. _Please_. Talk to me.”

She doesn’t say anything, continues to tie her shoes and then gets to her feet. She fiddles with her keys as she prepares to open the door. Something shoves against her back and Edelgard turns her head. She _doesn’t_ have fucking time for this bullshit right now.

“Roses are supposed to mean you’re sorry.” Byleth starts, her head down and the flowers extended _again_ as a peace offering, “Which I _am_ … if we could just…”

“Fuck _off_ , Byleth.” Edelgard snaps and lets herself out of the apartment.

Byleth growls and follows her through the door. Edelgard is already off down the hallway, waiting for the elevator as Byleth is stomping after her. Edelgard rolls her eyes. She’s _tired_ of this pathetic demon following her around and whining all the fucking time. She turns away from the elevator and starts for the emergency exit stairs. Byleth, of course, follows after her.

“So that’s it? You’re not going to even _try_?” Byleth asks, floating around to stop in front of Edelgard as she reaches the landing on one of the stairs. The girl walks right around her and Byleth groans, “ _El_!”

“I told you to fucking stop calling me that.” Edelgard’s voice echoes up from underneath her as she’s almost to the bottom of the stairwell.

Byleth drops through the staircase to beat her to the bottom and holds out the flowers again, “ _Take_ the damn flowers, Edelgard.”

Edelgard smacks the stupid flowers out of her face as Byleth comes to descend in front of her, “ _No_.” And walks around her again to push her way through the exit and into the main lobby of the apartment building.

Byleth throws the stupid flowers on the floor, phases through the door and watches Edelgard as she leaves out the front entrance. _Seriously._ How could one woman be so damn _difficult?_ She follows Edelgard out into the busy city street, wondering where in the hell the tiny human could have gotten off to so quickly?

Edelgard is currently standing by a small red car and throwing something into the trunk. She gets in on the passenger side, turns to look over her shoulder again and _sneers_ in Byleth’s direction. Stupid demon, stop _following_ me.

Dorothea is at the wheel of the car, “Jeez, Eddy. Had us waiting did you? I almost thought I was going to get a ticket. I was stopped over in a _no_ parking zone.”

“Whatever, Dorothea.” Edelgard mutters as she slams her door, “Just drive already. We have five long ass hours of driving ahead of us and I just want to get _out_ of this damn city already.”

“What’s eating you?” Dorothea asks as she puts the car into drive and pulls off from the sidewalk, “Could it be … a _special_ someone? A certain _guy_? Name starts with a _B?”_

“No.” Edelgard answers as she turns her gaze to look out the window, “No one at all.”

The car thumps suddenly and shakes. The girl’s all startle at the sudden disruption. Bernadetta leans forward into the space between the driver and front passenger seat, “Dorothea, is it _okay_ for us to be driving this car?”

“Eh, it’s a piece of shit, but it’s fine.” Dorothea mutters.

“Your car is human excrement.” Petra offers from the back. Perhaps she thinks it’s an insult of some sort.

“Thanks, Petra.” Dorothea smiles, “We won’t die. I promise.”

“Maybe we _should_.” Edelgard mutters under her breath as the girls continue their chatter about _finally_ being on winter break and away from the stress of school.

She’s not listening. Her mind is thinking about other things. Like Professor Thales. He’s still in the hospital, but he _apologized_ to her about that night. And the press, there was a small smudge on the report about her opening, but it was fine, regardless. Either way, it still doesn’t make things better. Nothing will make this better, will it?

Her gaze wanders away from the city and she chances a glance at the sky. Grey. Overcast. Dreary. Wonderful. It’s almost as if the weather represents her mood as of late. She closes her eyes and sighs. Dorothea asks her if she wants to share something with the girls. _No_ , Dorothea. Just drive your piece of shit car.

When she opens her eyes again, she squints. Was that a … hint of blue hair hanging over the edge of the car… _fucking._ She rolls down the window and peers her head out of the car, even though Dorothea yells at her that she’s letting the god damn heat out of the car. She’s met with an equally disdainful red gaze as fucking _Byleth_ is riding on top of _Dorothea’s car._ So _that’s_ what that thump was.

“I’m not giving up until you talk.” The demon says to her, sitting cross-legged, arms folded over her chest as the wind blows her hair all over her face, “Even if it takes dragging you back down to _Hell,_ we’re _going_ to talk.”

Edelgard stares at her, the sheer audacity of this fucking demon. “ _I’d like to see you fucking try.”_ And she rolls the window back up, even more irate than she was when she left her apartment.

“You good, Eddy? Need some air?” Dorothea asks.

“Fine, Dorothea.” Edelgard says, clenching her fists at her side, “So, what’s the plan?”

“Well!” Dorothea begins excitedly, “We’re gonna get to the cabin first. Drop our shit off and then maybe check out the sights in town. There’s a nice little skiing spot that we can go to. Oh, maybe ice skating, too!”

“ _Ice skating_?” Bernadetta moans, as she looks up from her phone, “But, that’s so _dangerous_. The blades. The sharpness of the _ice._ ”

“Relax, Bernadetta. You can like … go play in the snow and make snow angels or something.” Dorothea says, rolling her eyes. “Oh, and did I mention? The _cabin_ has a heated _Jacuzzi_. Nice, right?”

Edelgard looks at her, “…And this is relevant, because?”

“ _Well_.” Dorothea begins, “What if we meet some cute guys up there and want to bring them back for a little bit of _fun_?”

“…Sure, Dorothea.” Edelgard mutters, not even wanting to entertain her thoughts right now. She looks at the window and sees Byleth staring at her again. “ _I’m going to tear your fucking demon face off_ , _if you don’t fuck off_.”

“ _I’d like to see you try.”_ Byleth answers her, sticking her tongue out, and getting back onto the roof again.

“What is this Jacuzzi?” Petra asks, “What is a … _cuzzi_?”

“It’s this nasty … hot water … filled pool with _germs_.” Berndetta shivers, “Do you _know_ what you can catch from those things?”

“No, Bernadetta. And I don’t care.” Dorothea mutters.

“Well, _I_ do.” Bernadetta replies.

“I still don’t know what a _cuzzi_ is. Why is it a _the_?” Petra questions again.

“JA. Petra, for _fucks_ sake, it’s JA. Like the letters J and A. JA. CU. ZZI.” Dorothea yells in exasperation.

Edelgard massages her forehead and leans forward so that she can put some music on. They were _all_ getting tired of one another. It had been a rough couple of months and it was starting to show. “…Can we just chill out for a minute?” She asks the group, “This is supposed to be a trip to _relax_. Not get angry at one another.”

Dorothea huffs, “…I suppose you’re right.”

“Yes. I am.” Edelgard says, “We’ve all been stressed lately. I think this time together… away from this city … will do us some good.”

Bernadetta sighs, “Last semester was _hard_ , guys.”

“You’re telling me.” Edelgard mutters.

Petra nods in agreement as well, “Forgive me for my earlier misunderstandings.”

Dorothea feels like an asshole now. “Ugh… Petra. You don’t have to apologize… I lost my temper. I’m sorry, too. I guess… I guess we’re all just going through shit right now, you know?” She turns a quick eye off the road, “You know what, why don’t we just … _chill_ , when we get to the cabin? We’ve got it for four days. We can do all that other crap later, we have time.”

“Chill?” Petra asks, “It is rather cold today.”

Dorothea inhales sharply and tries to calm herself, “What I _mean_ is, let’s just have a nice night in. We can buy some wine, cook some food together. Sit down and watch a movie… maybe give each other makeovers. You know, _girl_ stuff.”

Edelgard looks up in the rearview mirror and she sees Byleth staring at her in return. “ _I hope you fall off the car and die.”_

“ _Jokes on you, I’m intangible.”_ Byleth replies, narrowing her eyes back at Edelgard, “ _Girl’s night, huh? Good fucking luck with that one. What’s Dorothea gonna do? Talk shit about you again? And Bernadetta? Gonna crap her pants because she’s so afraid of everything? And Petra…”_ Byleth looks at Petra who’s currently looking at some type of English dictionary on her phone, “ _...I actually like Petra, so she’s safe on this one.”_

 _“I don't fucking care, Byleth.”_ Edelgard replies and then turns to Dorothea, “I think that’s an _excellent_ idea. It would be nice to have some down time…”

“Yeah… I’ve been meaning to ask you… how have things been since… the debacle at the gallery, Eddy? Is Professor Thales okay?” Dorothea asks. “Still in the hospital?”

“He’s fine, Dorothea.” Edelgard responds, trying to keep her focus on her friends, instead of this stupid demon who keeps trying to crawl all over the car like a demented, overgrown spider.

“ _Still trying to fuck you?”_ Byleth asks. She’s hanging upside down on the front dash now. She hopes that one _stings_. _“Don’t come crying for me if he comes after you again. I already learned my lesson with that one.”_

Edelgard just stares at her with a blank look and Byleth wants to punch herself for letting her anger get the better of her— _again_. _“You never fucking change, do you? I_ hate _you_.”

Byleth closes her eyes and sighs, “ _El, I didn’t mean that.”_

 _“Yes, you did.”_ Edelgard responds, “ _You always mean it. Every time. Now kindly fuck off so I can actually_ enjoy _my life for once. I hope you fall off this car and it runs over you so that every stupid bone in your body breaks and you_ die.”

Byleth just stares at her for a minute and then pushes herself back on the roof of the car. Perhaps, this was pointless. Maybe Claude was wrong about this one. Maybe she should just go back to Hell, destroy Edelgard’s contract and consider herself free from this one.

Or… _not._

Could she live with herself for being an idiot and letting this one go from one simple misunderstanding of personal ethics? _No_. She was better than that. She was a _King_ of Hell and that title didn’t come from being a _little bitch_ about every problem in her life. She crosses her arms back over her chest, looks down at the roof and growls. She bangs on it again and she hears the girls screaming below her.

“ _I’m not going anywhere, Edelgard.”_

If Edelgard heard her, she doesn’t reply. Probably pissed off again. She would let her cool off and then try again. In the meantime, she would enjoy this little ride through the cold, frigid air of Enbarr. See where this idiot group of girls was going and maybe she could join them and …Byleth’s eyes suddenly brighten up as a _beyond brilliant_ idea comes to her.

Byleth bangs again on the roof of the car, but the girls don’t startle this time. “ _See you at the cabin, Edelgard_.” She stands up, reinvigorated with her _grand_ idea to get back into Edelgard’s good graces. She fixes her leather jacket, pulls some sort of dead insect out of her hair—oh, God, it was one of those Hell _flies_ —and stands up. She disappears in a cloud of smoke, ready to do the _one_ thing that would force Edelgard to talk to her.

They knew that something was wrong with Edelgard and her relationship with _Bycleth…_ but who said _Byca_ couldn't join the party?

The girls still _liked_ Byca after all, right?

 _Right_?


	13. Leave You Behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m honestly still baffled from the response to this piece of fiction. …And my shy, awkward ass, thanks you all for your enjoyment of it. 
> 
> ANYWAY. I told myself I was gonna rest today but then I started writing and drinking coffee and well. Here you are. I’ve honestly been waiting for forever to get to this part of the story. 

Byleth is perched in the brush of one of the pine trees like a ninja demon, watching out for the group of girls—she’d been taking notes from Claude on how to be more … _sneaky_.

 _Claude_. Yeah, she _forgot_ about that. She was going to spear his head off, castrate him and put his body on display for _all_ of Hell to see when she got back. Smacking her like he did… stupid Claude.

… _Lovely_ , Claude for talking sense into her.

It’s gotten dark now, winter sky setting in and turning everything purple and grey. That snowstorm in the forecast has yet to arrive, thankfully. Not like she really cares, immune to the elements and all. But, she needed the girls to _get_ their asses up here already. Where in the world _were_ they? Oh. _Wait_. She perks up as she sees Dorothea’s shitty red car pull up to the compound and knows that it’s time to make her move.

The trees branch bows under her weight as she struggles to listen in on the chatter of the girl’s below her. She hops down from the tree and crouches down into the snow. _Espionage_. Would Claude be proud of her if he could see her right now? Who cares, she has other things to focus on.

Byleth glances at her bike that’s sitting bright—well it isn’t, it’s _black—_ and obvious right in the driveway of the cabin. _Fuck_ , it hadn’t been a pain to bring that thing up to the surface. She whines internally at the thought of getting it back down. Who’s gonna notice it first and start asking questions? Oh. It’s Petra. She’s gesturing toward it and Dorothea shrugs. Dorothea turns to Bernadetta and asks her something, but she shakes her head. When Bernadetta turns to Edelgard, Byleth starts giggling maliciously to herself. Oh, she was getting _angry_. Well, _get_ angry, El. I’m not stopping this until you _talk_.

Byleth realizes it’s her time to move when they start walking up the steps to the cabin and unlocking the door. Edelgard kicks the bike before she follows the rest of her friends inside.

Dorothea slams the door and stomps her feet on the ground in excitement, “We’re _here!”_ She gestures toward the expansive living room and turns around to face the other girls, “Pretty cute, huh? And such a steal for the season, too.”

“Are… are we going to be safe out … here all alone?” Bernadetta asks, shifting her customary white rabbit book bag on her back, “The… this is pretty far from the recreational building where we checked in…”

Dorothea turns back to Bernadetta, all smiles. “ _Relax,_ Bernie. We’re completely safe here. No one is going to come up here and mess with us. It’s completely secluded.”

Edelgard looks around the room, eyes narrowed, in search of a certain blue haired _demon_. Secluded? She isn’t so sure about that. She turns her gaze toward the kitchen area and fights down a growl building in the back of her throat. _I’m going to fucking kill her._

There’s Byleth, plate of cookies in hand, corporeal and feigning _humanity_. She leans against the doorway of the kitchen, plucks a cookie off the plate and smiles, “ _Hi,_ guys.”

“ _Byca_?!” Dorothea asks, somewhat surprised and excited all at the same time. She drops her bag on the floor and runs over to the girl standing in the doorway. Byleth actually indulges her for a minute and opens her arms out for a _hug._ Dorothea pulls away from her, steals a cookie off the plate— _oh my god, did you_ make _these?—_ and looks up at her, “What are _you_ doing here? I haven’t seen you since you came with us to that drag show for Bernie’s birthday last month! You were a _riot_ , singing along with that fabulous drag queen.”

“ _Surprise_! _Edelgard_ didn’t tell you? She _invited_ me along the other week.” Byleth chances a glance at Edelgard who is still staring at her with murder in her eyes, “You know I’ve been so _busy_ with work and all. I always have so much _fun_ with you guys when we hang out. I simply couldn’t refuse the _invitation_.”

“Oh.” Bernadetta sighs in relief, “…I think … I think I can rest a little easier knowing our numbers have increased.”

“Oh, Bernadetta. You’re such a worrywart. Don’t be scared, nothing is going to _happen_ out here.” Byleth continues, sauntering over to Bernadetta now and offering her a cookie off of the plate. Bernadetta looks at her— _are these gluten free?—_ and accepts a cookie when Byleth assures her they are; “I had a couple of _things_ to do this morning, so I came up here a little earlier than you guys.”

Dorothea turns around and sits on one of the couches, “Is that your bike out there?” She’s finished a cookie and reaching for another one, “You drive a _motorcycle_? Oh my god!”

Byleth nods, turns around and faces Edelgard, “Yes. I do. Always been a fan of things that go _fast_ and _hard_. Aren’t _you_ , Edelgard?” She wiggles her eyebrows in invitation and Edelgard wrinkles her nose at her. “What’s wrong, El? Don’t want a _cookie_?”

“I’m _not_ hungry.” Edelgard snarls at her, walking away and sitting next to Dorothea on the couch.

“That’s a _shame_ , El. Maybe later, hm?” Byleth asks. She goes to Petra next who’s closed the door behind them. Petra takes one, scrutinizes it and then pops it in her mouth, “So, how was the drive, girls?”

“Dorothea’s car is human excrement.” Petra offers.

“What she _means_ is that it was a little bumpy on the way up. Something kept shaking the roof. Probably squirrels or something.” Dorothea translates.

Byleth chuckles to herself, “Wonder what _that_ could have been.”

“Yes, I wonder, _too_.” Edelgard mutters.

Dorothea stands up, “At _any_ rate. Let’s get settled, guys. Let’s check out the room situation.”

Byleth sets down the plate of cookies in the living room and turns to Edelgard as the girls start filing out of the room and down the hallway in search of their accommodations. _“Gonna give up the shit yet?”_

 _“Go fuck yourself.”_ Edelgard responds, picking up her bag and turning away from Byleth.

“ _I did._ Twice _before you got here.”_ Byleth responds as she walks after Edelgard.

There are three rooms. Dorothea lays a solo claim to the master suite—fuck you guys; this was my idea to come here. Bernadetta and Petra decide to shack up in the room with the twin bunk beds; Petra is a calming force for Bernadetta’s neuroticism. And Byleth and Edelgard… 

Dorothea opens the last door and gestures innocently. Oh, it’s a single double bed. “You guys can share a bed. You don’t mind, do you?”

Edelgard turns to Byleth, _“No. I refuse to sleep in the same bed with you.”_

 _“It’s not like we haven’t done it before. Remember that time I passed out on your bed while I was doing my tax reviews and you were doing your art mess, or whatever.”_ Byleth smiles, remembering fondly of simpler times, “ _That was a nice nap. You drooled all over me.”_

 _“You will_ sleep _on the floor.”_ Edelgard seethes as she drops her bag on the bed.

Dorothea is still waiting for an answer. “Guys?”

Before Edelgard can say anything, Byleth turns around and smiles at her, “It’s great, Dorothea. This will be fine.” Her voice goes up a tick, “Right, _Edelgard_?”

“ _Sure._ ”

“Great! Get settled, freshened up, and then we can all pile into my car and go shopping for some food.” Dorothea claps her hands together and walks down the hallway to return to her own quarters.

The door closes behind her and Edelgard looks like she’s possessed with the way she turns to Byleth and stares at her, “What. Do you think. You’re _doing_?”

“Making amends?” Byleth tries, shrugging innocently.

“When will you _understand_ I want _nothing_ to do with you?” Edelgard asks, as she turns away and starts sifting through her bag, “ _Why_ do you keep _doing_ shit like this?!”

“Because… I can?” Byleth replies, shrugging.

Edelgard takes a calming breath, trying to rinse the anger from out of her mind. She turns to look back at Byleth who’s standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. Byleth cocks her head to the side, as if to silently ask her—What are you going to do… _El_?

“…This is _war,_ Byleth.” Edelgard snarls through clenched teeth.

Byleth simply smiles, “Prepare to _lose_ , Edelgard.”

—

They wage war with one another for three days straight.

They go to the grocery store, noisy, chattering. It’s a small town and has a whole bunch of weird and local selections. They throw frozen pizzas into the shopping cart; snag a couple of bottles of wine. Should they get a salad? Sure, get the premade ones. They’re feeling lazy. Everyone is happy and cheerful, no worries, cool, calm … collected. At least … everyone but Edelgard, that is. _Oh my God, Byca is just_ _so_ ** _cool_** _you guys._ Byca. All they want to talk about is _Byca_. Stupid demon. The weekend continues in that same manner. No one seems to notice just how pissed off Edelgard is about anything.

They return to the house on the first night. Make their pizza, eat their salad and get _drunk_. Edelgard notices something is off with her friends though when they start … daring each other to _make out_ with one another. Even Bernadetta, shy, reserved and socially disinclined _Bernadetta_ is joining in on the fun as she leans forward to kiss Petra all over her face. Byleth, sitting in the corner and smoking a joint that Dorothea had bought, just smiles in her direction.

Edelgard pales as her thoughts go back to those cookies that Byleth was giving everyone before. _You demon roofied my friends?_ Not, exactly. Just a little sexual demon magic to get this party started, El. Shame you didn’t eat those cookies, hm? You could be hanging out and having fun just like the rest of them. …Oh, looks like they’re taking their tops off in the Jacuzzi right now. Who knew little Bernadetta could be so uninhibited? Mmm, sexy co-eds.

Edelgard makes her sleep on the floor on their first night.

The next day they go skiing. Bernadetta flails her arms her arms through her skiing lesson and Dorothea is chatting up her instructor. Mentions they have a nice little cabin that he and _all_ his cute friends can come back to. He taps her on the nose and says he’ll think about it.

Edelgard has taken to ice skating with Petra and … _Byca_. To her delight, the stupid demon can’t even step onto the ice without falling flat on her ass. There are no _ice-skating_ rinks in Hell, shut the fuck up Edelgard, she never _learned_. Edelgard tells her if she tries hard enough, maybe she can fall face first onto the ridges of her skates and slice her brains open.

They go back to the house and those so-called cute guys come over. Five _cute_ guys for five _cute_ girls. They pair off; Edelgard is disgusted with the man that keeps calling her _babe_. All she can do is keep watching Byleth as she acts like an absolute ditz and flirt with _her_ guy for the night. Why is she so angry watching Byleth slide a hand over his leg and grip his thigh in that way? Byleth knows she’s watching her; she’s doing this deliberately. Edelgard lost the first night, but she’s not going to lose _this_ one. Edelgard _climbs_ into her guy’s lap and proceeds to _make out_ with him in front of the entire room and Byleth’s mouth drops.

In the hallway, Byleth corners her after the stupid men have left. She stares at Edelgard with absolute venom, those false blue eyes descending into red. _The fuck do you think you were doing kissing that idiot tonight?_ Edelgard looks at her nails and gives her a haughty look. She walks away, dismissive of Byleth’s anger. Waging war, Byleth. What are _you_ doing?

Byleth is still sleeping on the floor. Irate.

The third night, Byleth is sitting alone in the kitchen at midnight and waiting. A game of chess lies before her. The rest of the girls have gone to sleep already, tired from the day’s shenanigans. A snowball fight, which ended with Edelgard clocking Byleth in the face and falling into the snow. A game of pool where Byleth kicked Edelgard’s ass. They were two for two. This wouldn’t end in a draw.

Byleth’s voice is in Edelgard’s head, “ _Why don’t you come into the kitchen? I have a surprise for you.”_

Edelgard _was_ going to make herself a cup of tea before she settled in for the night. What does the stupid demon want? They were in a tie. Was she preparing another battle to lose? She enters the kitchen and eyes the smirk on Byleth’s face, the coffee cup at her side, and the game of chess on the table. Ah. Of _course_. Edelgard proceeds to make herself that cup of tea and slides into the other side of the table and stares at Byleth.

“Is this how we end things?” She asks, setting her mug down to the side of her.

Byleth leans forward and lays out her terms, “I win, we _talk_.”

Edelgard nods, “If _I_ win, you leave me alone. _Forever_.”

“If that’s what you want.” Byleth begins, “Choose. White or black.”

“White.” Edelgard responds, turning the game around so that the white chess pieces are on her side of the side. She surveys the board, picks up a pawn. Move to 3B.

“Okay…” Byleth wiggles her fingers, moves her own pawn. Go to… F6.

Edelgard sips her tea and looks at her, “Are you satisfied with yourself?” She moves another piece.

Byleth leans back in her chair, “Whatever could you mean, Edelgard?” Hm… a rook?

“This whole weekend. Tagging along like I actually invited you.” Edelgard responds. She glances down at the board and then back at Byleth, “You think playing games with me is somehow going to win you back into my good graces?”

“I never said that, did I?” Byleth gestures, taking a sip of her coffee, “It’s your move.”

Edelgard sighs, moves one of her knights. “You’ve been hanging around here like you actually—“

“ _Check_.” Byleth says, interrupting her. “ _Really_ , Edelgard. You should focus more on the game instead of trying to talk to me. We just started and you’re already losing.”

Edelgard slams her mug down on the table, “ _Fine._ ”

She shuts up and focuses her attention on the game like Byleth said. She moves her King out of check and moves another piece into position to defend him. Byleth moves again, arranging her pieces in some type of preparation for assault. Edelgard eyes her Queen... what can _she_ do? Byleth moves again— _check—_ and Edelgard huffs her shoulders in frustration.

“Why are you doing this?” Edelgard asks, “Why do you _insist_ on following me.”

“Blood oath.” Byleth mutters, not looking at her and surveying the board, “I keep my word. Unlike some people.”

“Yes, you keep your _word_.” Edelgard grabs her mug, “You keep your _word_ about trying to kill people.”

Byleth sighs and looks up at her, “…Move, _El.”_

Edelgard moves her knight, takes one of Byleth’s bishops. “Disappearing and then reappearing again. With _flowers_ , of all things. Like you have a right to be here. I hope you saw what I did to your sigil in the hallway closet. I _meant_ it.”

“ _Check_.” Byleth says again, not paying attention to Edelgard’s rambling. For a girl who didn’t want to talk to her, she sure was doing a lot of it. “Move.”

Edelgard moves her king in line with her queen, ready to protect the idiot before Byleth can yell— _check—_ at her again. “Are you even listening to what I’m saying?”

“No… I’m not.” Byleth replies, holding the coffee cup to her lips again, “…Better be careful on your next move or it’s checkmate for you.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, moves her king in front of her queen, “Your _turn_.”

Byleth looks at her, sighs and moves her bishop forward. “Checkmate.” She finishes the rest of her coffee and sets the mug down, “I win.”

Edelgard looks down at the board and then back up at Byleth. Wait a minute, _what_. She grabs Byleth’s bishop and puts it back on the board. Grabs the rook and simulates a similar movement. She moves her king around in every manner that she could possibly think of. Byleth mutters, _checkmate,_ under her breath with every move that she makes. But the queen was right there to … “ _No_.”

“Yes.” Byleth says, “So…”

“You cheated.” Edelgard is being a sore loser right now.

“Do you … wanna play another game or something? Settle another score?” Byleth asks as she gets up to pour herself another cup of coffee, “I mean, I could go for at least another four games if you’re up to it.”

Edelgard closes her eyes, sighs at her defeat. “No. I don’t.”

“…So, when do you wanna have that _talk_?” Her head careens to the side. All smiles. She _won_. “We can sit by the fire in the living room, have a nice little _chat._ You with your _tea_ and me with my _coffee_ and—“

Edelgard holds up her hand to interrupt her rambling. “ _Fine_ , Byleth. _Fine._ We can talk.” Edelgard glances at the clock, “Can we do this in the morning though? I’m tired. And we have to hit the road tomorrow, bright and early. We can talk when we get back to Enbarr.”

Byleth walks over to the table, leans over and holds out her pinky, “Promise?”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, looking at the childishness that Byleth is displaying right now. Why should she be surprised though? She sticks her pinky through Byleth’s and they shake on it. “I _promise_.” Byleth is smug and pleased. Edelgard, always annoyed.

Byleth claps her hands together, "Oh, hey, now that we're talking again. Can I ask you something? Do you still have my painting?"

" _Yes_ , Byleth. It's at the department. Waiting for you to come pick it back up."

"Great. We can get that on the way back then."

" _Sure_."

"Cool. Now let's get to bed, then." Byleth smiles, "...Can I sleep on the bed now that we're _friends_ again?"

Edelgard sips her tea and stands up from the table. 

“No. You’re still sleeping on the _floor_.”

—

Byleth is nice and warm, dreaming of Edelgard in such a _positive_ manner when she’s startled from her sleep. What the _fuck_ is that racket?

She awakens to the sounds of … someone humming. And it’s grating on her ears. She looks up at the clock above her head and winces. It’s two in the _fucking_ morning, who could be singing at such a time? She gets up off the floor and squints as her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room.

Edelgard was still in bed, sleeping quietly and peacefully. She smiles lazily at the sight of her. Well, they were _kind_ of speaking again. Nothing a game of chess can’t fix, she guesses. She leans over, pulls the blanket covering Edelgard’s arms up just a little more and leaves the room in search of who is making that stupid humming sound. She peaks into Dorothea’s room, nope. Petra and Bernadetta. Nope. What the _fuck_?

She enters the darkness of the living room and it stops … only to continue two seconds later. Sounds like… the kitchen? Byleth turns into the kitchen, walks along its length and presses her face against the window. Nothing, but another raging snowstorm outside. Byleth turns around, annoyed now. She sniffs the air, just to make sure. …Mmm, nothing but the girls. Edelgard smells particularly _nice_ tonight, though. Maybe because she’s been away from her for so long.

The humming stops now. Sighing, Byleth goes back to the room, unable to find the source of the stupid noise. Maybe it was just… deer or something. Or maybe it was Balam, trying to lure out those lonely housewives with his …mountain man … song. Byleth wishes her stupid thoughts to cease as she sleepily stumbles her way down the hallway and back into the room she’s sharing with Edelgard. She comes back to the bedroom, ready to curl back up on her comfortable sleeping space on the floor when Byleth pales.

Edelgard is _gone_.

—

Byleth can’t breathe as she’s running through the snowstorm raging outside.

It’s so dark outside and the snow is whipping all around her, creating a complete whiteout ahead of her. Where was she even running _to_? There were footsteps leading from the front of the house… small, tiny, those were Edelgard’s footprints. And they took off… in the direction behind the house… into the damn wilderness. What in the world is going on?

She growls as she loses her footing in the snow and nearly falls. God, even in these goddamn boots _made_ for trekking through this kind of cumbersome terrain, she’s still so slow. She kicks the snow off her feet and looks around her. The footprints… they’re fading from view with the fresh snow that’s floating across the ground. She looks up, happens upon an idea. Maybe she should the trees… better vantage point.

She jumps for a thick low hanging branch, pauses and then flips herself up onto the surface. The branch shakes, thick clumps of snow falling to the ground from the weight of her movement. This was too low, she had to get higher. She repeats the process until she’s almost at the peak of the tree. The snow is still raging, faster now. But she can kind of see… in the distance… something small, red, and brown. Edelgard.

“ _EL_!” She shouts to the wind, but the girl doesn’t hear her. “Fuck…”

Byleth tries to keep sight on the small figure, squinting against the snow that’s obscuring her vision. The scent is faint, but if she just keeps _focused._ She’ll catch up. A burst of icy wind almost knocks her off course as she jumps from one tree to the other and has to hold on tight to avoid being blown away. Of _all_ the times to disappear, Edelgard would decide that a snowstorm would be appropriate. Damn, difficult ass human.

She pulls herself back up, trying to get ahead of Edelgard. But the quicker she seems to get, the further Edelgard appears to fade away. A faint sense of celestial energy comes to her and Byleth curses under her breath. Of course, only _one_ person in the all of Heaven, Hell and Earth would be fucking with her like this.

She pulls herself to the top of another tree and pauses for a minute. Byleth nearly panics when the landscape sort of dips and goes concave. That’s … that’s a cliff ahead of her. Oh, _fuck_. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“ _EDELGARD!”_ She tries again.

No response. The girl just keeps on wandering… and if she keeps at it…

Desperate, Byleth descends to the ground and plants her hands to the snow. A _sigil_ , that’s what she needed. She quickly makes the markings as fast as she can—in _snow_ Byleth?—and plunges a hand into the snow and points forward with her other, setting an indicator for where she wants to go. There’s so much desperation in her actions, hoping that she’ll come out on the other side before the girl _falls_ to her demise.

She pops out near the cliff, rolling over and covered in snow. Byleth looks up ahead of her. Fuck, it worked. Edelgard’s there, continuing on in that same haunting and slow walk coming toward her. She gets to her feet, stumbling briefly on the uneven terrain and calls out again, “Edelgard. _WAKE UP!”_

Edelgard doesn’t respond. Just keeps on walking. Fuck, she’s in her pajamas, too. She’s going to be freezing when she snaps out of this. Byleth is almost toward her, just a little further—

—Or not.

Something knocks her off her feet and onto her back and Byleth winces as her head cracks on a surface of stone covered with snow. She gets back up, rubbing her head and trying to figure out where Edelgard is now.

“Now, now, _Byleth_. Don’t interrupt the process.”

From above her, Rhea descends, looking positively full of herself. She’s dressed in all white, as always. That _stupid_ headdress of hers glowing with angelic light. That humming from before… it echoes out from Rhea like some type of unnatural lullaby. Of course, that was _Rhea’s bullshit._ It’s _always_ Rhea.

Byleth spits into the snow and gets back to her feet, “I’ll fucking kill you.” She reaches behind her, a sword materializes in her hand and she points it at Rhea.

“My. But, what if she dies _first_?” Rhea asks, gesturing gracefully toward Edelgard who’s now standing before the precipice of the cliff.

 _Fucking_ , she’s just _one_ demon. She can’t deal with the crazy angel bent on fucking up her life and her helpless, unruly charge who insists on getting herself into trouble everywhere she goes. Byleth makes a lunge to reach Edelgard somehow, but Rhea moves in front of her, stopping her from going anywhere. She pulls the sword back into view, “Let her _go.”_

“But why? This is all so dramatic and I’m enjoying myself oh so much. Aren’t _you_?” Rhea asks, looking back at Edelgard.

Byleth lunges at Rhea again and she floats away as if it’s nothing. Rhea turns to look at Edelgard and waves a hand at her. At that moment, Edelgard falls in a heap at the beginning of the cliff side and goes comatose. Rhea looks down at the girl, turns her attention toward Byleth and tuts, “You know … if you would just stop _following_ her like she asks, maybe we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“What the fuck are you doing, Rhea?” Byleth asks, looking at Edelgard’s limp figure in the snow, and then turning an aerated eye on that _stupid_ fucking angel that’s always messing everything up.

“The way in which you try to protect her… its almost as if you _know_ her.” Rhea states mirthfully, glancing at Edelgard, “I’m doing what her Grace, Sothis, and that damned beast, _Lucifer_ have failed to do. I’m getting rid of the problem.”

Byleth comes for her head again and this time Rhea reacts. A spear of light materializes between the two of them and blocks Byleth’s hit, “I’ll chop off _your_ stupid fucking head, Rhea.”

Rhea smiles again, soft and unperturbed, “Why do you pine for this human, Byleth? Why do you recklessly throw everything away for these poor hapless creatures?” She closes her eyes, “Why… it’s almost as if you were one of them. Sad, pathetic, so bound by your own humanity that you can’t even see clearly.”

Byleth swings her sword downward, breaking the hold and steps back, “You have _no_ idea what you’re talking about.”

“And yet, I do.” Rhea moves again, “Perhaps, I have finally figured out what Mother has tried to keep hidden from everyone for all these years. Such a strange creature you are, Byleth. Appearing out of nowhere and assuming the rank of such a _high_ figure in Hell. My, they took pity on you for what you _are_ , didn’t they?”

Byleth rushes toward her again. Another block. “I can smell your folly from miles away, Rhea.”

Rhea backs away, descends near Edelgard again and looks down at her, “Byleth, my dear, do you not remember what I said to you at this poor child’s exhibition? About mother’s replacement? So many years, no one _knew_ where she went. Mother was always so mum on the topic. How could someone so important to the flow of time just be _lost_ like that… ”

Byleth raises her sword again, but is knocked on to her back. She touches her face; did this _bitch_ just nick her cheek? With a growl, she get’s back to her feet. Byleth raises the sword again, preparing to rush Rhea—she’s going to _end_ this stupid fucking angel. Her assault is halted as she feels her feet jerk, and she’s rooted to her spot, “ _RHEA_.”

Rhea’s hand lowers and she begins walking to Byleth, “They called her _Lilith,_ did they not? The first wife of Adam… you never hear about her. Just all this talk of Eve.“ She sighs, “How dreadful it was. History rewrote that part, didn’t they? She was supposed to ascend from that position and become Mother’s successor… but she was tainted. Cast away into Hell, where she assumed the moniker of … _Sitri,_ was it?”

Byleth growls, snapping her fingers to get _out_ of this stupid bind. But it holds her there. Rooting her to the spot while Rhea keeps talking and … _fuck_ , Edelgard. She was probably hypothermic by now. She _had_ to get them out of here. “ _Let me out of this stupid bind, Rhea._ ”

“Your _mother_.” Rhea stares at her, eyes sharp and wide, “The most deceitful of _all_ of the fallen. Gave birth, to _you_ , an abomination. A _half_ breed.”

Byleth is getting desperate now, sticks the sword into the ground and tries to pull herself loose. _El_. She _had_ to get to Edelgard.

Rhea turns to look at Edelgard, “…And this girl… this _pitiful_ human. Coming back again. How strange Fate’s design is for us all…”

Byleth feels one of her boots crack the ground that’s now turned to ice around her. Just a little more. She isn’t even listening to Rhea anymore, rescuing El is way more important. She chances a look back up at Edelgard, there’s so much snow covering her. Fuck, Byleth, hurry _up_.

Rhea pauses, looks to the sky. She seems to be thinking about something and nods. _Yes, I understand._ “I will see to your end, Byleth. Perhaps, not here. Fate has spared you for the time being … but I will be back. And when I do, know that I will bring your head to Sothis on the grandest of platters for her to delight in.”

The snow picks up again; obscuring Byleth’s vision and Rhea vanishes in a flash of light. Finally, her feet are released from their hold and she drops the sword to the snow as she rushes over to Edelgard and pulls her into her arms. Her breath is labored as she pulls her body from the snow, _no, no_. Don’t be dead, come on El, come back to me— _breathe_. Byleth conjures fire in her hand, presses it to the center of Edelgard’s chest. Please, just be _warm_. Don’t leave. Don’t _leave_ me again.

She feels Edelgard jerk slightly in her arms, eyes mere slits. Byleth pulls her closer, trying to drape her cloak around her. Fuck, she’s not even wearing slippers—just her damn teddy bear socks. Edelgard shivers and her breath hitches as her vision clears and she looks up at who’s holding her. Blue hair, red eyes, worried expression … _Byleth_?

“El? Can you hear me? _El.”_ Byleth shakes her, desperate for any sign of life to return to the girl and for her to know that she’s okay.

Edelgard blinks her eyes, breath hitching in quicker spurts. _Why_ is it so fucking cold? She looks at Byleth, searches the desperation in her eyes and leans into her embrace, “Why… am I in …the snow?”

“Fuck, El.” Byleth doesn’t even respond to her question, just pulls her closer and rubs her cheek into the girl’s hair. She presses a kiss to her forehead, gathers her in her arms and turned around to view their surroundings. Edelgard shivers again in her arms, she’s still so fucking cold. Byleth grimaces, she’s so worn out from all of this stupid mess… can she even transport them back to the cabin in this state? Just do it, Byleth. You can rest later.

Edelgard looks up at her, “What … happened?”

Byleth just shakes her head, “Don't worry about that. _Hold on_.”

And they’re off without another word.

—

Edelgard has a cup of hot chocolate in her hands as they sit by the fire. Byleth is behind her, arms and cloak wrapped around her as she tries to warm her up with some form of body heat. Edelgard ...didn’t know _demons_ were capable of such a thing. But... Byleth is _warm_. And she’s still freezing from when some _angel—_ she thought they were supposed to be the _good guys_ —just lured her out into a snowstorm and tried to _kill_ her.

Edelgard looks up at Byleth for a moment and she’s ... never seen her look quite so _...blank_. She looks _tired._ Morose. Worn down. Like her whole world just came crashing down on her in the span of one night. She’s been quiet this whole time, just staring off into the fire, lost in her thoughts. She gazes at the cut on her cheek right under her eye and wants to touch it… _are you okay?_

“We should talk.” Byleth starts, blinks slowly and then lowers her gaze to Edelgard.

Yes, perhaps it was time they did that. Edelgard looks away from Byleth and sips her hot chocolate. Tastes kinda funny... did Byleth put alcohol in this? Whatever. “Yes. We should.”

“Which do we broach first?” Byleth continues in the same tired tone, “What happened _tonight_ or what happened at the gallery?”

“Let’s start with... the gallery.” Edelgard mutters. “I ... you go first.”

Byleth closes her eyes. “A man was going to take advantage of you and I unthinkingly sought to kill him. I am _sorry_ if that disrespected your wishes, Edelgard. You are my _charge._ I’m sworn, by oath, to protect you.”

“I understand that.”

“If such a thing should happen again, I will restrain myself. But I cannot guarantee that I won’t hurt someone again if they hurt _you_.” Byleth slowly opens her eyes again and stares into the fire. “Will that suffice?”

“Yes. I’m ... sorry I said all those things. I don’t hate you.” Edelgard mutters, “I was angry. I didn’t consider... what was going on in your mind as well.”

Byleth nods, “That is all right. Has the matter of the gallery been settled?”

“Yes. Next. What the _hell_ happened to me tonight?”

Byleth shifts, pulls her a little closer and readjusts her cape around them. Where should she even start? “ _Rhea_ is what happened. The _Immaculate One_. Sits as the Right Hand of God. I have mentioned her before.”

“Yes. You did.”

“She _knows_ something about me and my past that I was not aware of until tonight. That’s why she tried to kill you.” Byleth replies. She goes silent as her mind is wandering yet again. _I was previously going to Purgatory to be sneaky and learn more about you, but now… that’s changed._

“Byleth?” Edelgard is questions her.

“Edelgard, I’m going to have to go away for awhile.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s getting too dangerous for you to be around me.” Byleth says, finally looking away from the fire and down at her, “I have to go somewhere. And I’m not entirely sure how long it’s going to take me to go there... or if I might be imprisoned for what I’m about to do. My proposed actions are a flagrant disregard for the rules of Lucifer _and_ Sothis.” Who knows, they might even kill me if I find out the truth...

“Why... why do you sound so _ominous_ right now?” Edelgard doesn’t like this. At all. “Byleth. Please, tell me. What are you going to _do?_ ”

“I have to go to Purgatory.” Byleth states, “Edelgard, have I ever spoken with you about reincarnation?”

No, actually. That’s like the _one_ topic they’ve never really touched on in the last five months. Edelgard shakes her head, leaning back against Byleth. Why was she so _warm?_ “No. We haven’t.”

“Heaven and Hell do not govern the cycle of reincarnation. _Purgatory_ does.” Byleth starts, “If you are sent to Heaven or Hell, that’s game over. Your soul is _done_. You don’t get another chance at life on this planet.” She glances down at Edelgard, “You should consider yourself lucky. They haven’t put an end to your cycle yet.”

“So... what you’re saying is...”

“You were someone else in a previous life. _Who_ that person is, I … cannot say. That kind of information is contained in some place called the Hall of Memories.” Byleth turns her gaze back to the crackling fire, “The only people authorized to enter that place are Lucifer, Sothis and Fate, the one who governs it all.”

“But... but you mentioned I had a file, didn’t you? I could have sworn you mentioned at some point that you could find information on me in Hell.” Edelgard is perplexed.

“Think of every thing as a filing system. Think about the levels of security that those systems _have_.” Byleth reclines back and Edelgard flails a bit at the change in posture. Byleth pulls her closer, “I’m only authorized to know basic information about you. Your secrets, personal memories, information about who you used to be before you were reincarnated ... all of that is kept in Purgatory.”

Edelgard blinks, trying to keep up with everything that Byleth is telling her, “Has it always been this way?”

Byleth shakes her head, “No. I did something over half a millennia ago that _changed_ everything. Broke the rules. Broke the system.” She looks down at Edelgard, “Do you remember your picture?”

“The one you bought for $100,000? Of course.”

“I knew that woman.” She says. “And there’s something about her that I need to know about that’s only located in the halls of Purgatory.”

“ _That’s_ why you were acting so weird.” It suddenly clicks.

“That woman once summoned me to help do her bidding in a war… and even while her files still remain in Heaven and Hell after she was killed, I could find no trace of her soul after that. Usually... someone’s file has there past records of reincarnation included in them. Easier to keep tabs on who’s done what and who’s who.” Byleth lowered her gaze, “When I questioned Lucifer, he said that they were starting a _new_ system. They couldn’t risk something like that—what _we_ did—happening again.”

“I’m sorry...”

“It’s not your fault. It’s simply a byproduct of my own actions. And now I need to know. I want to know _where_ she is.” _I need to know if my suspicions are correct_ —is what Byleth doesn’t tell her. “I’m tired of being lied to and I’m tired of things being hidden from me. _That’s_ why I’m going to Purgatory.”

“...Byleth?”

“Yes, Edelgard?”

“If you go there… and say … you get curious and look at my _own_ files. If ... if you find something in there about me. Something that I don’t want you to know... will you look?”

Byleth shakes her head, “I can’t promise that I won’t.”

Edelgard swallows, “... I ... appreciate your honesty.”

For the first time, Byleth cracks a smile, “I’m trying to get better at that.”

Edelgard sips at her hot chocolate, “I think I’m feeling better now...”

“How strange. I as well.” Byleth inhales and sighs. She looks down at Edelgard, “El, I want to give you something before we retire for the night. It’s … protection for while I’m gone.” Byleth reaches for her hand and wiggles something off her finger. She grabs Edelgard’s left hand and slips it onto her ring finger, “This was once my father’s. It’s a warding ring. Keep this with you at _all time_ s, Edelgard.”

Edelgard is blushing, at a loss for words. Did… Byleth just. Did she _know_ what hand she just put that on?

“Why are you so quiet? And _why_ is your face so red?” Byleth asks. Ugh, she doesn’t care. Maybe she was just overheating, “It protected me once long ago... when I was on the precipice of death. ...It will do the same for you while I’m gone.”

Edelgard looks at the ring on her finger and turns her hand over to look at it in the illumination of the soft fire crackling next to them. Silver with purple insets in the middle. It was beautiful. “…Thank you. I promise, I’ll keep it on. Don’t worry.”

Byleth heaves a heavy sigh again. Fuck, was she tired. Edelgard looks back up at her and their eyes meet for a brief moment. She searches Byleth’s eyes for some type of truth. Byleth just looks back down at her, eyes unwavering in the moment. Edelgard reaches up a hand, massages the cut on her cheek and leans in to kiss her on the lips. Slow and soft. When she pulls back, Byleth’s face is still in that same neutral position.

Oh _my_ God. What did she just do? Edelgard’s eyes widen and she shakes her head, a nervous sound escaping her mouth, “Ah, ah … I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

Byleth just stares at her, grabs her chin, tips it back up to her face and gives her a _proper_ kiss this time. And Edelgard always said _she_ wouldn’t shut up. She pulls back from Edelgard, stares into her eyes and licks her lips. The girl looks dazed. Her brain was probably still trying to thaw out.

“We should go to bed.”

Edelgard nearly flails to get out of her lap. If Byleth weren’t so tired, she would have probably thought it was humorous. Edelgard rushes by her, hot chocolate mug in hand. Byleth waves a hand to put out the fire and follows after her.

Edelgard is standing there, staring at the bed. She … supposes she should probably let Byleth sleep with her tonight. It’s the least she could do. She did save her from that crazy angel lady tonight who was always screaming about _retribution_ and other ridiculous shit. But what should she do? Would Byleth refuse? She looked so damned tired during their conversation and—Byleth comes up behind her and links her arm around her. Oh, why was she holding her so _tightly._

She moves her face closer to Edelgard, rubs her cheek against the side of Edelgard’s temple. “Allow me to worship you as penance for all of this.”

“ _What_?”

Byleth turns her around again, tilts Edelgard’s chin up to her lips and kisses her again. She’s still grasping her face as she pulls back back. Why is she _looking_ at her with such intense _eyes_? “We don’t have much time.” Byleth replies, “I am _asking_. For your _permission_. To worship _you_.”

Edelgard averts her gaze, “…You’re asking for …permission to take me … to bed.”

“Yes.” Byleth replies, “Will you allow me to do so?”

Edelgard can’t meet her gaze as she gives her a slow nod. For all her talk of _wild_ and _crazy_ demon sex, Byleth is surprisingly gentle as she pushes her to onto the bed and crawls over her. She divests her of her clothes and Edelgard does the same. Byleth tells Edelgard _no_ when she tries to reciprocate. This is about _her_ tonight.

It’s all kissing and gentle touches for the first couple of minutes. Byleth practically devours her with every kiss she presses to some part of Edelgard’s body before descending to the place she wants to get to most. Edelgard pushes herself up on her elbows, watching Byleth’s head lower between her legs and finds herself to be too shy to watch this. Oh, but she can _feel_ it. And the way that Byleth grips at her thighs and works her with her mouth… she chances a look down and sees the intensity of Byleth’s eyes staring right back at her. Yeah, no, she can’t watch this.

Her breath hitches; Byleth presses her legs further apart. She jerks back, as she feels the rhythmic motion of Byleth’s fingers inside her. God, they’re actually _doing_ it. All those times she had rebuffed her advances and told her to _get_ away from her. Somehow, she feels stupid. Why didn’t they do this _sooner?_

She whimpers with another push of Byleth’s fingers inside her. Her legs are starting to tremble a little. Another push, she squeezes her eyes shut. Gentle sunction from Byleth’s tongue, she’s going to freaking _crack_ if she keeps this up. Edelgard is staring at the ceiling, hands holding onto the pillow underneath her head when she hears Byleth’s voice.

“Are you close?”

She looks down at her, chest heaving, “…Wh … _what_?”

“Are you _close_?” Byleth’s gaze is unwavering. She curls her fingers in just a way that has Edelgard squirming again, trying to bring her legs together. Byleth pushes a hand down, keeps them spread apart again. “I want to _know_.”

“Yeah...” Edelgard pants. She’s close. _Very_ close.

“Very well.” 

She reaches climax with Byleth holding her hips down and staring at her. Edelgard has to close her eyes and turns away. Stop _looking_. No, I want this to be burned into my memory. I want to remember you as you _are._

When she’s settled, Byleth crawls back over her body and presses a chaste kiss to Edelgard’s lips. She pulls the sheets up over both of them and reaches an arm around her shoulders. Edelgard feels herself being pulled into a tighter embrace; Byleth presses a kiss to her shoulder.

“Know that I am doing this to keep you safe.”

“I know.” Edelgard replies, “That doesn’t mean I won’t worry.”

“I know you will.” Byleth pauses for a moment and nuzzles her face into Edelgard’s hair. “Perhaps I should send Claude to look after you in my absence. He gets on my nerves sometimes, but he’s a good man. … _Demon_.”

Edelgard links their hands together under the sheets and sighs, “…How long do you think it will take you?”

“I don’t know. Depends on how long it takes me to get through Purgatory.” Byleth replies, “…Is there anything else?”

Edelgard nods, sleepy and exhausted. “I’m …” I’m going to worry about you. I’m going to miss you. I’m going to call you and know you won’t come. You, idiot. I …

“Sleep, Edelgard.” Byleth murmurs, pressing a hand to her head and closing her own eyes. She already knows the words that are on her tongue, and now is not the time to say them. Now is the time to sleep and forget the tumultuous night that they had. She feels Edelgard go limp in her arms in a matter of moments and waits a minute. Listens to her breathing, in and out … in and out …

Byleth wakes up again in the middle of the night, having feigned trying to sleep for long enough. She gets dressed, the same as she was before. A look in the mirror, who knew that one stupid Friday night with a Ouija board would come to _this._ She turns back to look at Edelgard, innocent and oblivious to the chaos that surrounds her. She walks over to the side of the bed, sits down for a moment and runs a finger down her cheek. Leaning forward, she presses a kiss to those lips and thinks she sees the girl _smile_ before pulling away.

One last lingering look and then Byleth places her hand out to summon a portal.

This was it. She didn’t know how long it was going to take her to get through Purgatory. If she was going to die. If all of this would be for nothing and she would be stuck—in an eternity—never knowing if what she thought was true. But, well, no going back now.

She glances back at the sleeping figure in the bed.

Sleep well, my _love_.

And then she was gone.


	14. The River of Passing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first conceived of the idea for this story, my conception of Purgatory was nowhere near as detailed as it's going to be. You can thank this wild ass Japanese art book for that. Saw them during a recent DND session and went buck fucking wild.
> 
> (Pst, if you're reading this, thanks Anna).

Claude was sitting at his desk, headphones on, putting the finishing touches on his latest mixtape. What? It was just a _hobby_. …Wasn’t trying to become the next big rapper in Hell or anything. He presses pause on the record button on the panel in front of him and looks over his shoulder.

“Chief.”

“Claude.”

Claude spins around in his chair and takes in the sight of Byleth behind him. She’s cloaked in a robe, hood over her head and … looks fucking _exhausted_. What the hell happened? Play nice, Claude. She could be here to actually put truth to her words and _kill_ you this time. He smiles at her.

“Welcome back, By.” He eyes the bottle of gin resting on the mixing console, “Are congratulations in order here, or…?”

Byleth shakes her head, “I don’t have time to make idle banter with you right now.” She removes her hood and looks behind her for a minute and then turns to look at Claude, “I’m going to Purgatory.”

Well, that escalated _fast_. Claude pauses in mid-pour and turns to her, “…You sure about this? You know this could fuck shit up and we can’t go back from this if you go there. I mean… you’ve been fucking shit up for years, but this is a _different_ level of fucking up.” He looks over her face. Why was her cheek all cut up?

Byleth nods, “Rhea attacked us tonight. I don’t have time for particulars. Put El in a trance, almost killed her, we fought. Told me Luc and Sothis have been talking shit about my dealings lately. Starting talking about the past … the war … _her._ ” Claude holds out the shot glass to her and she throws it back, “Thanks. I actually needed that after the night I had.”

“So… ?”

“She’s _alive_ , Claude. And if I’m right…” Byleth laughs, somewhat in disbelief in her own line of reasoning. Her eyes go skyward, “… if I’m _fucking_ right. She’s currently snuggled up and sleeping peacefully in that damn cabin right now.”

Claude blinks. Had she hit her head on the way down here? “You think _Edelgard_ … is your old lover? The one you almost destroyed Heaven with? The one that used to wear that scandalous two piece to all those pool parties at Luc’s old mansion?”

“I _know_ she is.” Byleth replied, “Rhea fucking confirmed it. Why else would she have dragged me out there to fight in the fucking snow like a complete psycho tonight?”

“Cause … it’s _Rhea_?” Claude asks. “Well, even if Edelgard is … _her_ , what can you even do … about it? You’re not thinking of fucking with Sothis again, are you?”

Byleth shook her head, “That’s past. I just want the truth. I want to know if that soul up there… matches with who I think she is. And Lucifer if she _is …_ ” She closes her eyes, feeling a slight pressure building between her nose. _Fuck_. After all these years, was it finally going to be over?

“Well, to Purgatory we go then. I guess in the midst of all of this you …forgot your original reason for wanting to go there?”

“No. That still holds. If someone’s fucked with the _present_ day, Edelgard, I’m going to fuck them up as _well_.” Byleth shakes her head, “That’s a secondary factor. After I know if it’s really her, I’ll start looking at those old files. …Even though El told me she doesn’t want me to. I _have_ to know what that fucking bastard did to her.”

“Quite a lot on your plate, By.” Claude offers her another shot of gin and she takes it, “Anything else I should know about before you attempt this suicide mission?”

“I need you to just … check on her while I’m gone, okay? She already knows about you. Just, go up there. Introduce yourself. Be nice. Don’t _startle_ her. Nothing weird. _No_ tricks. Mind your manners. Do _not_ upset her.” Byleth points at him as she gets out of her chair

Claude scratches his head, “Isn’t that kinda like your job these days—whoa, _easy_ , By.”

Byleth swings a sword lazily in his direction and he ducks down to avoid having his head sliced off, “I’m _counting_ on you Claude.”

Claude resumes his posture, “Always here for support. That’s what we do.”

“Oh, yeah.” Byleth blinks two tired eyes, but manages a smile, “We had sex. And it was _glorious_. Every. Fucking. Bit. Still have the taste of her in my mouth. _Mmm_.” When was Edelgard going to let her do that _again_? She hopes it was soon. She wants to see how El looks with her legs up in the air and— _focus, By_. Use _welcome back home sex_ with El as the single motivating factor for the shit you’re about to do. ...Some demons _never_ change.

“Fucking _finally_ , man.” Claude falls back in his chair, lifts his shot glass of gin and throws it back, “A toast. Go on; fuck the world up, Byleth. I’ll be here waiting for ya when you get back.”

“No, you’re going to go look after El, _remember_?” Byleth pulls her hood back over her head. She turns to look at him with an afterthought. “And I’ll _kill_ you if you don’t.”

Claude waves her away. Yeah, yeah, maim, maim, kill, kill, he got it. He gives her a mock salute as she turns around and disappears from the room. “Stay safe, Chief.”

—

Edelgard returns to Enbarr unfocused and distracted. Dorothea had asked her where Byleth had disappeared off to, she didn’t even say _goodbye_. Family emergency. There was somewhere she needed to be…

When she woke up that morning, Edelgard had kind of expected Byleth to be gone. She was so serious and monotone last night, surely there was too much weighing on her mind far beyond what Edelgard had fathomed. She was probably itching to set off and do whatever it was that she needed to do in Purgatory.

Inside her pocket is the note she found left behind on the dresser, the contents short and simple: _three little words_. She chuckles to herself. Fuck you _Byleth_ for saying it first.

She returns to her apartment that morning and drops her duffle at the door. Kicks her shoes off, looks at the hallway closet for a brief minute. …She … knew what Byleth’s sigil looks like by now. She should fix the wall… just in case she needed it to come back.

Hubert comes out of his room to find her scrubbing at the wall, trying to buff out the knife marks she had jammed there in her previous anger. Their landlord wasn’t going to give them back the security deposit when they left this place, was he?

“So, you make up with your demon?” He asks, “She out of the dog house?”

Edelgard blushes, “You could … say that.”

Hubert’s interest is _piqued_ now. “Did something happen that I should know about Edelgard?” He looks her up and down, there’s something different about her. She’s got this glow… a certain _glow_ that Hubert knows very well. And she won’t even look him in the _eyes_. “…Edelgard. Did you have sex with Byleth?”

She flinches, obviously caught and squeaks out, “ _No_.”

“ _You_ did. Edelgard, you had sex with a _demon_.” Hubert is absolutely elated, “My, that tops even _my_ list of conquests.”

Edelgard turns around, “Hubert, _stop_ it.”

He looks down at her balled hands in front of her and his eyebrows rise further, “And what’s this ring that you have here?” He takes a minute to realize that Byleth’s warding ring is on her left hand and gasps in mock surprise, “A _proposal_? Edelgard, you’re engaged to demon royalty now? _Congratulations_! Will _I_ be the best man? I’ve always been a _…fan_ …of alternative lifestyles, but I wasn’t expecting this from you.”

“Shut up, _Hubert_! No! She didn’t _propose!_ ” Edelgard slaps his hand away and fiddles with the ring on her finger, “It’s … it’s some type of ring of protection. She had to go do something… something really dangerous and she’s worried about my safety.” Edelgard looks up at him, “To be completely honest, I don’t think she realized what hand she was putting this on when she did…”

“But you _kept_ it on your left.” Hubert muses, “…Seems like a promise to me.”

“Ugh, I don’t have time for this.” Edelgard turns around and goes back to trying to mend the wall. It looks … _okay_ , kind of. She draws over the lines she had messed up with one of her pieces of chalk and sighs. All she could do now was wait…

“Well, then. At any rate, I have to go get ready for work. _Congratulations,_ again _,_ Edelgard. I approve of Byleth… even if she is a demon. Anyone that can kick my ass in chess that badly has all of my _greatest_ respect. Now, if you would excuse me…” And he wanders off into the bathroom to get ready for work.

Edelgard closes the door to the hallway closet and goes to sit down on the couch. She’s off from school for a couple of more days. She just … she just wants to _relax_. Too much was happening. She needed a moment to digest it all. Hubert leaves for work, tells her _congratulations_ again and she tells him to _get_ on with his day. Stupid Hubert… _thank_ you.

She closes her eyes, sinks down into the couch and sighs. What a _weekend_. She just wants go to sleep for an hour or two. And when she wakes up, she can check if they have the ingredients for ... a frittata. Yes, that sounds delicious right now. A small smile comes to her face... it all started with a _frittata_... _didn’t_ it?

Edelgard perks up when she hears the hallway closet open. “Byleth?” She asks. Well that was _fast._ Why was she being so dramatic when it had only taken a couple hours to get what she needed?

But, no. Not Byleth, Edelgard. She sees a … tan man. Green eyes, unruly hair, cheeky smile, tan hoodie and combat boots. Who the fuck— _oh, no._ Had she messed up the sigil and allowed some other demon to come through instead? Edelgard gets off the couch, throws open the cabinets to her kitchen and reaches for the trusty cast iron pan. She comes running back into the living room, pan raised firmly above her head. She was protected with Byleth’s ring, that demon’s _crap_ wasn’t going to work on her if he tried anything.

“WHO **ARE** YOU?” Edelgard proceeds to shout. If this was one of those so called dangerous things that Byleth was worried about, she was going to kick his ass and send a message to whoever sent him to _fuck off_.

“Whoa, _whoa_. You are _intense_. Calm _down_.” He steps away from Edelgard and her frying pan and holds his hands out in mock surrender. He reaches into his back pocket, flips open his wallet and pulls out some type of card. “Jeez… no wonder Byleth always had such a hard time with you. Kind of have some sympathy for her now.”

Edelgard peers at him and then quickly snatches the card out of his hand to look at the information. Her shoulders drop and she looks sheepish. _Oh_. She looks at the card, up at Claude, and then back down at the card again. Edelgard sets the pan down on the couch and hands the card back to him, “You’re … Claude. Sorry.”

“Yeah… I _am_.” Claude says as he takes the card back from her, “Byleth told me to check up on you… so _here_ I am… introducing myself.”

Edelgard extends her hand, still looking at the floor, “Edelgard.”

“Claude.” He shakes her hand and then pockets them in the front of his hoodie, “So this is where Byleth has been spending all her time, huh? Cute place. Very ... cozy.”

“Thank you...” Edelgard replies, not entirely sure what else to say. She pulls the pan off the couch, “...Did you want to stay and talk or something ...?

“Yeah! Let's have a quick _...chat_ about things. Get to know each other... you know... cause we both _know_ Byleth. Yeah... I’ll be out of your hair and back to Hell sooner than you can say _Lucifer_.” He smiles, genuine. No tricks, remember?

“I’ll ... make us some tea.” She looks at him; probably a little weary that _another_ demon is in her house and then walks off to the kitchen to boil some water.

“Sounds _great!_ I’ll be waiting here for ya!”

Claude watches her leave before taking a seat on the couch. He cranes his neck to get a better look at Edelgard working in the kitchen. _Okay, okay. I can see why you like her, By. She’s cute. In like ... a teddy bear murdering you kind of way. Wasn’t expecting her to be so … short though. Damn, she’s tiny. Violent, too. Maybe you guys_ are _a match made in Hell._

Claude chuckles to himself and turns his attention to the little notepad in the pocket of his hoodie. Let’s see… introduce yourself. _Check_. Be nice. _Hmm, probably check._ Don’t _startle_ her. _Not…a check._ Nothing weird. _Check?_ _No_ tricks. _Wouldn’t dream on it, check._ Mind your manners. _Yes, check_. Do _not_ upset her… wasn’t that Byleth’s job? He thinks he feels a drop in the temperature and an energy that _feels_ like Byleth simmering around him. He smiles to himself. _Check._

Edelgard comes back into the living room with a tray, two cups of tea, a teapot, a bowl of sugar, tiny spoons, and a small pitcher of milk. What a _hostess_. She sits down in the couch opposite Claude and holds her cup of tea in her hands, “Did… Byleth come see you before she left?”

Of course. The first thing she would want to talk about was _Byleth_. Claude _awws_ inside his head, they’re both so gross. He nods, leans forward to start pouring some milk into his tea, “Yup. Looked like shit, too. Haven’t seen her look that bad since well … war times. You guys had it really rough last night, huh?”

“I almost _froze_ to death.” Edelgard replied, “…I never even really thanked her for saving me.”

Claude smirks into his cup of tea, “Oh, I’m sure she took your _thanks_ in other ways.” He chuckles and Edelgard isn’t quite sure _what_ he’s talking about. He sets his cup down, flicks his fingers and hands a card over to Edelgard, “Figure you might want one of these.”

Edelgard takes the card and frowns. His _business_ card? Why did all these demons have business cards? She sets it down on the table, “…Thanks. I guess.”

Claude nods, “Yeah… so, she left right after talking to me and explaining the situation. …You do know there’s a possibility she won’t come back from this, right?”

“She did say that, yes.” Edelgard clutches her tea and bites her lip as she frowns, “…Is it really that important that she does this?”

Claude exhales long and loud, “I guess it’s about time she does. Last time I remember her going to Purgatory was when she was trying to get on the visitor list to see … _someone_ … but they turned her away before she could even get a word in.” He shakes his head, “Had _that_ been a night trying to calm her down. Shit.”

“Claude, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, shoot, Edelgard.”

“Is … is what Byleth did so long ago _truly_ that bad? Why all these changes in the system? Why wasn’t she allowed to see this woman? What did they _do_?” Edelgard asks.

Claude actually shows so hesitation before her answers. He shakes his head. “That’s… not really my story to tell. The one thing I _can_ tell you is _why_ the system was changed.”

“Please, do. …I guess I’ll just have to wait for Byleth to return to hear the whole story.”

“So. Like. You know demons and angels are always killing each other, right? Heaven and Hell have been at this shit since the dawn of time.” Claude takes another sip of tea, “War and whatever else.”

“…Sure.” Edelgard replies. No, not really. She thought the only war they really raged was the battle for the dominance of souls on Earth.

“Calling it war is … not really the best term. What it _really_ is Sothis and Lucifer sending their worst warriors to the battle field in Purgatory to die and keep up the façade that they’re actually fighting.” Claude snickers, “When they _really_ want to settle disputes, they go to Purgatory’s Game Hall.” He sips his tea, “Last time was strip poker. Luc lost.”

Edelgard snorts into her tea, “God and Satan settling their disputes over _strip_ poker?”

“Sothis destroyed him.” Claude sighs, “Oh, well. Anyway, yeah. So. On the human side of things, demons can inspire humans into war, angels can try and pull them out of it. _That’s_ fine. If they’re a supporting factor in a human killing another human.” He reaches for his tea again, “Byleth’s issue was that she took a human to kill a _God_.”

“…I don’t understand.” Edelgard shakes her head. Why did they have so many _rules_?

“Okay. Let me break it down then.” Claude clears his throat and looks at her coffee table, “Mind if I draw on this?”

“ _Yes_ , I mind.” Edelgard looks at him in disbelief.

Ouch, maybe he _wasn’t_ minding his matters. Fine, he can draw it in the air. A green light emits from his finger, “Two humans. A demon on the left, an angel on the right.” He draws two very lumpy shapes in the air and Edelgard can feel the critiques already coming to mind. Why didn’t people ever learn proper _form_? “This dude kills that dude, this demon, that angel. Okay! We’re cleared for landing.”

“So… is this a killing your own kind type of thing?”

“ _Yes_.” Claude begins drawing again what Edelgard thinks is supposed to be Byleth and … the woman from the painting? Why is Byleth so … _buff_? “So, _Byleth_ , here. Decides she doesn’t want to do that. I mean, she started off normal… at first, it wasn’t bad. She was helping her little lady friend do the standard demon _kill kill_ thing to people that pissed her off. But that wasn’t enough.”

“What happened?”

“Something changed in their plans and they took things a little further than they were supposed to.” Claude said. “You ever hear of vampires, Edelgard?”

Of _course_. Everyone knew about Twilight and that pathetic glittery excuse for literature. Edelgard doesn’t mention that she used to be into that sort of thing. _Team Edward._ She shivers. Till this day; Hubert will not let her live it down. “What do they have to do with this story?”

“A whole fucking bunch. They’re extinct now, but they used to be crawling all over Eastern Europe way back in that day.” Claude continues, “Well, the woman… she happened to be one of them. Something happened which led to that woman and her people being condemned by Sothis _herself_. Sorry, a lot of revenge subplots happening in this story. Kind of hard to keep up? Or are you doing okay?”

Edelgard nods, “Continue.”

“So Byleth, at the behest of her … very _special_ lady friend … imbues her with demon energy and the two of those… “ Claude casts an eye at Edelgard. Should he _call_ Byleth an idiot right in front of her? Or would he risk getting beat with that frying pan? “…very _remarkable_ people go for the seat of God to try and kill her. That was Byleth’s main wrongdoing. She had taken a … well; vampires were _kind_ of classified as human back in that day, anyway. She had taken someone who wasn’t a demon or angel to the seat of God to usurp it. You don’t _give_ beings in this realm that kind of power to do something like that. It’s _forbidden_.”

Edelgard pours herself some more tea and leans back, “Okay. Let me see if I got this straight. Humans can kill other humans; demons and angels can kill each other. Humans _inspired by_ demons and angels can fight for power on _Earth_. A human, or being of this Earth … can be _inspired_ by a demon or angel, _but_ , they cannot wage war with Heaven …”

“… _or_ Hell.” Claude finishes, “Same repercussions. Hell, we’d probably have _another_ system change if that happened. Lucifer, those two really fucked shit up with what they did.”

Edelgard blinks. Was Claude sure they were talking about the same Byleth? The demon that talked shit about her coffee making skills? Who whined about not getting her way? Who couldn’t keep her eyes off of Edelgard’s _ass_ when she walked through a room… not like that mattered now. No, couldn’t be. Claude had to be talking about two _very_ different people.

As if catching on to Edelgard’s thoughts, Claude starts snickering, “Oh, trust me. She’s changed _a lot._ I think … you would have to considering what happened after.”

“What do you mean?” Edelgard asks, “I don’t understand. If Byleth did all of this crazy shit, _how_ is she still allowed to retain her position as a King of Hell? To make blood oaths with people? To … to even be _alive_.”

Claude sips his tea, “Because. Sothis has something of hers. Has for a _long_ time, now. It’s the one thing out there that’s _really_ keeping Byleth in line.”

Has something? “And that is?”

Claude looks at Edelgard. Oh how he _wishes_ he could tell her the truth… but he shakes his head, “Sorry, Edelgard. I’ve probably told you too much already. That kind of information… well. I _have_ to know as Byleth’s retainer and … well, the rest of the kings. Lucifer, too. It was … the compromise they came to about things.”

Edelgard’s head is starting to hurt again, “That’s fine Claude… I appreciate you telling me this either way. I can understand a little better why she’s going to go do … something as crazy as this.”

Claude nods, checks his watch, and then looks back at Edelgard, “Well then. That was a _nice_ chat.” He sips the rest of his tea and stands up, “…I gotta get back down to Hell though, gotta finish working on a personal project of mine.”

“That is?” Edelgard asks.

“Oh, nothing.” Some sick ass beats, that’s what. He smiles at her, “I’ll stop by from time to time for a chat. You mind if I keep using By’s sigil to come in? Or… is that a little too … _personal_?”

Edelgard feels like slamming her tea mug on the table, catching the meaning in his words, “Just how much has she _told_ you about me, Claude?”

“A lot. A _whole_ damn lot.” Claude chuckles, “You’re all she ever talks about lately. I’d take that as a compliment. To hold the attention of such a high-ranking official of Hell like that? Why, you’re practically royalty at this point.”

Edelgard hides her blush behind her teacup, “All of you are _idiots._ ”

“Just a little.” Claude grins, “Oh, yeah. Next time I come up, I’ll drop by and get her picture. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Sure, whatever.” Edelgard stands up, “And yes, you can _use_ her sigil. Just. Please let me know when you’re dropping by. Send me like a courier demon or something.”

“You’ve gotten used to the lifestyle I see.” Claude says as she walks him over to the hall closet.

“With Byleth around?” Edelgard shrugs and sees him off with a sigh, “I _had_ to.”

—

Byleth has herself pressed tightly against the top of a train, full of new souls that have just arrived in the afterlife. Their destination? The River of Passing. The train is surprisingly quiet… almost like a calm to usher these poor departed souls into that good night.

It hadn’t been too difficult to get to this part. She had ascended from Hell through a portal aimed for the gate of Purgatory, a giant blue world hovering between Heaven and Hell. …Actually, Purgatory _was_ on Earth—the middle ground between the points of the netherworld and upper kingdom. You could see it while in the in-between, a giant globe of blue, encapsulated in a glass dome, with two spires connecting it to Heaven and Hell, hovering above the ocean. It _looked_ normal from the outside, if you thought … that was normal. But once you got inside, Byleth knew it was going to get weird. That place was confusing as fuck. But it had been built that way to keep people— _demons—_ like her, _out_.

Byleth had learned her lesson from before and stayed out of sight from the visitor’s gate. She snarls at the thought of that stupid fucking attendant turning her way and saying— _we’re sorry, King Byleth, but you_ can’t _see her. Strict orders from the top_ and _bottom_ , _as well as Fate herself_. Fuck them for taking her _away._ It was in that moment that Byleth knew where her soul _was_ … she just couldn't _get_ to her. Thanks again, Claude, for entertaining her reckless binge drinking tantrums.

The first bit of infiltrating Purgatory hadn’t been … well, not _too_ hard. The halls that morning were pretty sparse and Byleth did the old fashioned, choke and grab the card key from the security dude—to get herself into the lower recesses. Her knowledge of how to get anywhere beyond the River of Passing was pretty limited … she would have to improvise. Or follow the map signs, like she was doing now.

As she started getting closer to the departure gate for the River of passing, the security levels increased as well. She was a little gleeful because she got to practice her _cool_ new bending of shadows magic— _thanks again for the trick, Claude_. With malicious glee, she had dropped into the floor and mimicked the movement of the guard’s shadows as they patrolled the halls. How they hadn’t noticed that their distinctly male shadows on the ground turning … _female_ was beyond her.

When she resurfaced again, finally out of that entanglement—she was starting to get dizzy from walking upside down all the time. Fuck, why was Purgatory guarded better than Hell and Heaven combined? Oh, that’s right. To prevent demons like _her_ from getting in.

The area around her was starting to look less business office like and more … dark. Stone walls, dirt covered floor, that murky smell of mildew. She was getting closer. Byleth finally descended down her _last_ flight of stairs, walks through a tunnel and realizes she’s at the departure gate. She looks to the sky, it’s nighttime… yet it seems as if that’s always the mood of this place. Dark, thick and rich green trees, flowers everywhere, small fireflies buzzing through the air.

Oh, there’s the train waiting to take off and … Byleth almost shit herself when she saw _Death_ also standing there. She was arguing with one of the souls about something— _you’re going to get reincarnated, stop bitching and just get on the fucking train!_ My, what a temper. She thought Death was supposed to be a _compassionate_ soul, not a ruthless one.

She takes Death’s distraction, to ninja demon—she’s been doing that a lot lately—her way past the crying soul on the floor who just _wouldn’t_ get, and pulls herself up on to the top of the train. Finally, probably tired of Death screaming at it, the soul had relinquished itself to its fate, and boarded the train. Death walked forward, said something to the conductor and then they were off.

Byleth sighs and presses her face into the cold steel of the train. It was actually nice… kind of relaxing. She’s got headphones in her ears … listening to one of the playlists from Edelgard’s Spotify. Something titled— _ANGRY RAGE MUSIC—_ a lot of good shit on this one. What a wonderful mood, she would fall asleep right here … if she _could_. The train stops and she begrudgingly gets up to watch for signs of guards before she makes her move.

She crawls forward, reminiscent of her demented spider movements from when she was harassing Edelgard from the top of Dorothea’s car— _El, baby, how are you holding up… up … there—_ and shakes her head. Can’t think about her right now. She had a job to do.

Byleth notices that there are no guards here. Just wondering souls. Some sighing, others are crying, some accepting their fate and just moving on as they were supposed to. Byleth checks around for signs of Death… nope, she’s not coming here either. Her only job must be to make sure they get on the train to come here. She looks forward and sees the wide expanse of ocean before her. Well, then. Another test...

She hops down from the train and looks to the sky. Dark and grey, clouds hanging in the distance. The water of the sea is a deep, dark blue. She was going to have to go swimming through this mess and find the mouth of Purgatory. Just follow the souls, By. They know where to go. She looks at her clothing and frowns… guess it was time to conjure scuba diving gear?

She pauses on the shore, observing the white visages of the souls as they pass her by. Some are trying to pull others now, encouraging them to proceed on with their journey. It’s okay. The suffering is over. We’re going to a new place now and will be reborn. Things will be better in the _next_ life. From far off in the distance, a loud bell tolls and the train from before departs from the station and goes back to where it came from. Probably going to get the next batch of souls who would make … this _journey._

Byleth fixes the oxygen piece to her mouth—this was _ridiculous_ —and proceeds to follow the cluster of souls that are now walking into the ocean. Below the surface it’s a little clearer and lighter. Kind of … _odd_. She looks around her and raises her eyebrows in surprise. Imagine that … there’s actually _fish_ swimming in the ocean. …Ghost fish? Oh, looks like they’re headed for rebirth too. _Stupid, Byleth_. She follows the souls down, deeper into the water. Red lights glow eerily in the distance to light the way. They’re all … kind of just… floating down. Not really swimming. It’s like the current is persuading them to move things along.

Byleth descends further and is getting a little tired to be honest. Just how much further does she have to swim in this damn ocean? Why is she complaining? She doesn’t even know what she’s looking for.

After some time, she notices there’s a dim light just below her... blinking every now and then. Maybe that’s it? As she swims further down, she realizes there’s a giant cluster of white just… hovering in the water there. Oh, the souls… what the hell were they doing? Were they waiting for something?

Byleth shouts— _OH SHIT—_ into her mouthpiece, blowing air bubbles into the water, when a giant white face suddenly emerges from the bottom of the ocean. Its eyes are closed; thick white lashes and has fish scales on its head in the place of hair. What the _fuck_ is that?

Byleth glances at the cluster of souls, swims her way between the crowd to try and understand what the hell is going on. The eyes of the giant head slowly opens, it has no pupils, black irises set on white. Byleth winces as that bell from before sounds overhead, it sounds way closer now. The head opens her mouth, head careening back—Byleth’s eyes widen—and she has no time to react as it begins sucking in the cluster of white, her along with it. _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

It shuts close with a resounding and loud snap, locking her inside.

\--

Rhea has been assigned to kitchen duty in Princess Diana’s soup kitchen for her little stunt with Byleth. She’s currently scrubbing as an oily and crusty pan, muttering to herself about retribution and abominations. Her soft, _immaculate_ , hands are getting pruny.

An angel flutters by, drops a whole new stack of dishes in her sink and splashes her with dish soap water. She looks up, dripping and fuming and the angel merely gives her a quick bow of apology and saunters off. Princess Diana has come by to give her regards, but she has to go now… something about reading to children with Nelson Mandela. Rhea attacks the pot again and resists the urge to curse these _fools._

Sothis was fucking _pissed_ when Rhea had returned back to Heaven. Lucifer had called her, heard something about Rhea had messing with Byleth and to keep tabs on her unruly _daughter._ God, it was like they were everyone’s parents. Perhaps … Hell and Heaven truly were just overgrown daycare centers and Lucifer and Sothis were its only attendants.

Rhea had tried to explain herself, told her mother that she _knew_ what was going on with Byleth and that … horrendously, blasphemous, _lesbian_ , Edelgard— _she’s_ bisexual _, Rhea. Please, I know we condemn that sorta thing up here, but stop with the bierasure. We’re tolerant, not accepting. Jeez._

Sothis didn’t care, however. Told her that she was grounded, no leaving Heaven for … well, until Sothis felt like it, to be honest. She was far too busy doing other things— _napping_ —to care about her daughter acting like a wild renegade and trying to stir up an issue that had been settled for over hundreds of years at this point. When will you let it _go_? You _killed_ her lover and I have one of the most important parts of her being locked away in my damn office. Enough is enough, don’t you think? For Rhea, it was _never_ enough. She scrubs her rage into the damn pan before her. Why wouldn’t it just get _clean_?

A loud clatter knocks her out of her musings. It’s Flayn, dropping a stack of dishes and slipping on the floor. This mishap only adds to her ire, “ _Oh,_ boy, Lady Rhea! I’m so sorry!”

Rhea grits her teeth, “What are you _doing_ , Flayn?”

“I was coming to help you wash some dishes! But… looks like I broke them instead.” Flayn looks at the floor, “Gee… I can’t believe how _clumsy_ I am at times.”

Rhea turns around to look at her, “Aren’t you supposed to be out there spooning bowls of _soup_ to those poor homeless demons?”

Flayn pushes her fingers as she walks over to Rhea, “No, I got sent away from that. I don’t know what happened. I was giving away the whole soup pan, just like they asked me! I thought, they must be so hungry, the soup pans just kept popping up after I gave them away, so why not? I thought their bowls were for leftovers they could take back home to Hell!” She looks up at Rhea with wide green eyes… _wait_ , what are those flecks of red in her irises? Flayn looks down at the floor before Rhea can inspect any more, “…But apparently that was wrong, so one of the angels out there told me to come in here and help you. Did I … did I do a bad job, Lady Rhea?”

So _that’s_ why she had washed so many damn soup pans in the last hour. Rhea can feel herself shaking with rage and tries to calm herself, “NO… _no_ , Flayn. It isn’t. You made such an honest and Godly mistake, why, Her Grace would be proud of how selflessly you acted toward those poor homeless…abomi— _demons_.”

“Wow! Thanks, Lady Rhea. You’re always so wise.” Flayn smiles, “I’m going to clean up these plates now and then help you with those dishes!”

“Yes, Flayn. I would most appreciate that.” Rhea nods and watches the child walk off. _What_ an imbecile. How could Mother think that this child… it doesn’t matter, Rhea. _You_ are the _Immaculate One._ Always remember that.

She turns back to the pile of dirty dishes in the sink and mutters. _Byleth_. She would show Mother how wrong she had been in her judgement. That demon was planning something and Rhea—darling, immaculate, Rhea—would be the one to put an end to it, whether Lucifer and Sothis, liked it or not.


	15. The Hall of Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I come home and I’m like—oh, no, I’m not gonna write today—the opposite always ends up happening. Brew some coffee, cigarette sticking out of the side of my mouth, cackling and typing away. So. Here we are. Another chapter after a day like my usual pattern. I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever written a fic this fast before. Probably because I’m as obsessed with writing it as those of you reading it, haha. 
> 
> Just a tiny warning, there’s mentions of child abuse (physical, sexual) in this one. Tried to keep it as vague as possible, but just be warned in case any of that is triggering for you.

It’s been a _month_.

One whole month since Edelgard heard anything from Byleth, but she tries not to let the worry get to her. She texts Claude— _No, Edelgard. Nothing yet. But, hey, you wanna come down here for a drink sometime? I miss having a drinking buddy and you’re the closest thing to Byleth that I got._ …She’ll pass.

If anything bad had happened, she’s sure that Claude would have popped in and given her the news anyway. … Maybe taken her to Hell to get wasted and console his former liege’s girlfriend. Give her a piece of Byleth… a finger or something as a remembrance of their time together. Demons were weird. They had an odd sense of sentimentality.

Edelgard wasn’t _sad_ per se, just lonely. School had started back up and she found herself busy again. But it was like she was just going through the motions instead of really ... living it. Art, art, draw, draw, go to work at the toy store, slave away at the art gallery, listen to classical music, add more music to the rage playlist— _was that a new follower? Username… catdemon69?_ …Byleth? Whatever.

Professor Thales had taken a leave of absence after the whole thing with the gallery, but she was assured that he would _still_ be in charge of making sure she graduated on time. Edelgard guesses that’s a relief, doesn’t appear to remember much of the incident either… which is a _bigger_ relief. Don’t need any more rumors floating around about her than there already are.

Dorothea is chipper, notices her dour mood and suggests that they go out. Did she break up with Bycleth? Oh, Eddy, he was a pompous idiot anyway. You’ll find someone else that you’re more compatible with. What about Byca? You guys seemed to be getting pretty close on our little trip at the cabin. Oh, no, _I_ saw you two cuddling near the fireplace, Eddy. But I left as soon as I came, didn’t want to interrupt such a private moment. Edelgard is mortified, had she _heard_ them? She doesn’t have time to think about that, tells Dorothea to _mind_ her business.

So she continues her routine, tries to go on as best she can without worrying too much how Byleth is doing. It’s almost the end of January and winter is in full swing. One snowy night, her mother calls. Hey, guess _what_? _Dimitri’s_ home.

\--

Edelgard isn’t quite sure how to … receive Dimitri when she sees him. He _looks_ better, but he doesn’t … feel better? If that makes any sense? He still has that same tired and haunting look in his eyes, morose, always looking like he’s got it the worst out of everyone on the Earth. Edelgard doesn’t know. Her trauma is of a _different_ kind.

They’re currently sitting together in a booth. She had just gotten off of work from the art gallery and suggested that they get dinner—let’s catch up? Dimitri is sitting across from her, pouring sugar pack after sugar pack into his coffee. She doesn’t know much about drug addiction, but she guesses that’s to stave off cravings? Trading one form of crack for another, that’s all it was. Dimitri sips his coffee and languishes in the warmth of the liquid sliding down his throat. It’s so _damn_ cold outside.

There’s a soft smile on his tired features, “Edelgard, it’s good to see you.”

“You as well.” Edelgard drops her menu to the table and pulls a napkin out of a dispenser, “How have things been?”

“The best they can considering where I’ve been.”

 _You and me both_. Edelgard thinks as she fiddles with her straw and sips some of her iced tea, “…Yeah. I guess that’s true. Are you … doing better now?”

Dimitri shrugs, “I suppose I have safeguards in place now to help with things. Things can always go back to the way they were, though. Remember that, Edelgard.”

There’s some part of her that feels a little sorry for him. What kind of demons—sorry, Byleth—could he have possessed to drive him into something like a heroin addiction? He’s always so _somber_.

Edelgard remembers back to when her mother had first married Dimitri’s father and he became her stepbrother. Stepsibling. She had _another_ sibling. Not like she actually interacted with her ten other ones from her father’s multiple marriages and infidelities. Why was her family such a _shitshow_?

He was always so chipper, full of positivity, _bright_. Something like a character foil to her own darkness back in those days. He had welcomed her into their home when Anselma— _Patricia?_ —finally decided she _wanted_ to be a mother and pulled Edelgard out of Volkhard’s house to come live with them.

She had been tired of Edelgard complaining about living with Volkhard and Cornelia; tired of being seen as the _bad_ parent in the equation of fuckery that was her family. It wasn’t Anselma’s fault she wasn't ready to be a mother, not in the least, _Edelgard_. And besides, her brother had put his blood and sweat into raising her when he could have just thrown her on the streets or an orphanage after Ionius went mad. She should be grateful, she should _thank him_ for taking her in.

Back in those days, Dimitri had been so _kind_ to her. Why, he had been one of her prime supporters when they put her in therapy following that incident with Volkhard and Edelgard pulling a knife on him… that was one of the main reasons she had come to live with them. It’s good to go to therapy and talk about what you’re feeling. We don’t understand the darkness inside you, but someone else will. If you ever need me Edelgard, I’m here to talk. Funny how it was like the opposite now.

They had talked sometimes about _why_ Edelgard was the way she was. She never told him too much, guarding those secrets with a fist tighter than steel. The only insight he ever had into what had gone wrong in her world was when he came home from football practice one night in his senior year of high school. There was a cop car outside; the police were inside talking to Edelgard and …Patricia about something? Lambert meets him at the door, tells him to go upstairs—this is a private matter. He vaguely hears the words _rape allegations_ and _Volkhard—her uncle?—_ as he ascends the stairs and can hear no more. Days later, Edelgard tells them she lied to her therapist. She was angry. Just looking for somewhere to place the blame. Dimitri isn’t quite so sure about that. The charges are dropped before anyone can even breathe.

Now, sitting here in this restaurant nearly a decade later after all of that, Dimitri looks at the woman across the table from him and in all of his self deprecation, he can find some pride in the person she has become. In graduate school, supporting herself, making _something_ of herself. If only Dimitri knew about that … _other_ thing Edelgard was dabbling in. My, how people _change._

“I know.” She tucks some hair behind her ear, “You’ve had it rough these past few months.”

“As you did yourself all those years ago.” Dimitri reminds her. He still remembers what happened. He knows she remembers as well.

“Yeah. That’s past now.” Edelgard reminds him, “Have I told you about how schools going? Has my _mother_ enlightened you in all her disdain for what I’ve accomplished? I curated my first even last December.”

“Ah, Edelgard, that’s wonderful.” Another soft smile that belies his exhaustion, “I’m glad to hear that things are going well. You always were a fan of the arts… it’s good to hear that you’re establishing yourself.”

“Well. It wasn’t _too_ big.” She shrugs, “I mean it _did_ get some buzz in the local papers. The ones that actually focus on the creativity in the world.”

“And you say that isn’t too big?” He snorts into his cup, “You’re being modest.”

“Perhaps.” She smiles, “I wish you were there to see it. Maybe I can show you some pictures sometime.”

“I would quite enjoy that.” He hails a waiter so they can place their order, “Listen… Edelgard.”

“Yes?” She asks.

He knocks his knuckles on the table as he tries to gather his thoughts, “Your mother… was talking about having _dinner_. All of us. As a family. To celebrate my arrival back in the real world. I was wondering if I could extend an invitation to you and …”

“ _Ah._ She did mention that when she called me to tell me you were back.” Edelgard chews on her straw with her front teeth, “You know I don’t want to.”

“I _know_.” Dimitri responds. “…But, if it’s for me, would you consider it?”

Edelgard sets her glass down, “If you’re wondering if I’m going to support you through recovery, the answer is _obviously_ yes. I haven’t forgotten how … kind you were to me all those years ago. Sometimes, Dimitri, it feels like you were the only person on my side. …Besides Hubert of course.” And _Byleth…_ if she knew about everything _._ But she can’t mention her demon lover, now can she?

Dimitri nods, “That brings me great joy to hear you say that.”

“…Do you want to talk about why this happened?” Edelgard asks.

He shakes his head, “Nothing beyond what you already know.”

“Then I guess we are the same then.”

He nods, “So… if we are in agreement then. Can I expect you for dinner? Will you come?”

Edelgard hesitates for a moment, perhaps thinking of the chaos that should unfold if she should say yes. But those eyes, those _damn_ tired blue eyes of her stepbrother makes her think otherwise. Perhaps she should put away her own discomfort for the night to help another. It’s not like she hasn’t been doing it her whole life.

She swallows, nods her head. “…I guess… I guess I will.”

\--

Byleth groans as she finds herself on a stone floor, drenched from the water the opening above her is expelling. The souls from before all fall to the floor as well with a wet _splat_ and lay there for a moment in some sort of shellshock. She magic’s away her useless scuba diving wear and gets to her feet in her previous clothing from before. She hazards a gaze upward and frowns. A floating ocean extends before her … just in the sky. Why was this place so fucking weird?

The stone floor slowly gives way to an open field. It’s filled with souls, all moaning and making unearthly sounds as they wander their way to their next place of existence. The path is lit with torches, the only source of light before them. Byleth takes her chances and proceeds to walk amongst the souls. As always, they know where to go.

She travels further into the field, which is now growing thick with deadened trees. In the distance, she sees the ocean overhead floating back up toward somewhere. Oh, looks like it’s going back up to the Earth’s surface. She … guesses that makes sense. In the distance, she sees something large … and white looming overhead. The souls have all gathered before it.

It’s a woman. _Another_ large woman. Four arms, with no eyes or nose, hair either for that matter. The top of her head… is kind of …missing? Like someone chewed a large hole into the center and filled it with crystals. She’s got a white dress on with blue in the center. Her hands are clasped in front of her, a pendant intertwined into her fingers and swinging in a rhythmic way. She is silent as she waits for the souls that have arrived to all appear before her. Byleth stops walking and after a minute and waits for something to happen. The souls gathered before the woman pause and then continue walking in directions spanning out to the left and right. Byleth glances back and forth, unsure of where she should go—and then the woman speaks, startling her.

“All souls that do not belong here must prove their worth to Fate, or be expelled back to where they belong.” She begins as the last vestiges of the souls fade to their directed path, “Demon child born of Sitri and the human Jeralt, tell us, why have you come?”

Byleth nearly balks that the woman has now addressed her directly. She points to herself, “…Uh, you talking to me?”

“Byleth, is it not? Why have you come to our domain?”

 _Our_? Byleth scratches her head, “Uhm. I think everyone in the whole entire afterlife knows why I’m here right now. I’m doing it to help, El. I’m doing this to finally settle my past and know why it is no one will tell me the _truth_.”

The woman nods as if she is considering Byleth’s answer, “Is that not a selfish wish? You wish to know her, and yet… she has no idea about who you _really_ are.” The woman continues, “She has told you that she wishes you to know nothing of her secrets, of her past, and yet you continue to search for them.”

“Because I _love_ her.”

“You have loved others, yes?”

“Not like her. _Never_ like her.” Byleth replies, “…Are you … are you Fate?”

“I am the checks and balances system that exist between Heaven and Hell, neither good, nor evil. Just here.” The woman answers, “This is but a mask we wear to protect our true nature.”

“So… you _are_ Fate?” Byleth asks, getting more confused by the minute. _Our_? What did this … woman … thing mean by that?

“Come, Byleth. We wish to seek an audience with you.” The woman still doesn’t answer her question, a door appearing at the base of her feet for Byleth to enter, “We shall indulge your request. See what the stars have in line for you.”

“Ooookaaayy…” Byleth hesitantly steps forward and through the door as it opens for her. No wonder they never threw any parties in Purgatory, this place was like an acid trip gone completely wrong.

She walks through the door and it closes behind her with a resounding thud. Before her in the distance is a dimly lit room, three women, sitting in a semicircle around a singular table with a tarot card deck on its surface and velvet chair before it. On the outer edges of the room, water flows from holes in the wall, creating a sort of mote around them. The women … all kind of look the same. Old, black robes, white hair that descends to their feet. Byleth blinks, is Fate just … a crowd of spinsters shooting the shit on everyone in the world?

The woman to left starts, “I am Clotho, the _spinner_. I am the one who spins the thread of life. It is here where we will read your fate, Byleth…” She shifts in her chair, “I will give you a reading of your _past.”_

The woman in the middle continues, “I am Lachesis, the measurer of life. Some call me the _allotter._ I measure the thread that Clotho spins, allotting life to all that pass through my rod.” She continues, “I will give you a reading of your _present_.”

The final, and perhaps most disgruntled of the bunch mutters, “I am Atropos, the _unturning_. I cut the thread of life, determining the matter of death and the time at which it comes. I will give you a reading of your _future.”_

Clotho begins, “The humans … refer to us as the Moirai. But to your kind, we are called Fate.” She folds her hands in her lap, “Tell us, Byleth, are you ready to pursue … your _fate_?”

Byleth rolls her eyes—hardy, fucking, ha—and sits down at the table with the deck of cards, “… _Sure_.”

Lachesis nods, “Very well. Let us continue. Atropos, if you would begin the shuffling.”

Atropos grumbles as she waves her hands and the cards spread out along the table in front of Byleth, “Really, now?”

Clotho shakes her head, “You _are_ the oldest, Atropos.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just hurry up and _read_ , Clotho.” Atropos mutters, as she settles back into her chair and the three cards float up in front of Byleth.

“Very well. In your past, Byleth… the Strength card.” Clotho begins, “Ah, a representation of who you once were with Edelgard. A woman, an empress, and her lion… her guard. A card symbolizing influence, passion, courage. How fitting.”

“I mean, I did destroy a _lot_ of people.” Byleth mutters.

“Indeed you did… do you seek a clarifier for this card?”

“Clarifier?” Byleth questions.

Clotho nods, “An additional draw. Something to make this card stand out for you. To make more sense.”

“…Sure?” Byleth shrugs. Whatever, if the old crone was suggesting it, she guesses she should do it.

“Very well then.” Clotho waves her hand and another card comes out into view, “Ah, The Sun in reverse. A call to your inner child, it was a time for you to come out and play. Ignoring responsibility. Doing what _you_ wanted. Too egotistical and overconfident. A cost of a life, your downfall.”

Byleth snorts. She didn’t need _tarot_ cards to tell her that, “Yeah. Okay. So what’s in my present?”

Lachesis raises her hand now, “The Magician. Manifestation, resourcefulness. Surely, this is a representation of where you presently are. Sneaking into Purgatory and trying to get into the Hall of Memories. I wonder what could have urged you to do such a thing…” She smirks, she knows. Byleth knows too, “Shall we pull a clarifier for this card?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Byleth waves her hand in dismissal.

“The Hanged Man.” Lachesis begins, “Pause, letting go, new perspectives. Gaze upon the man on this card and see that he has relinquished himself to his fate. You knew that there was a possibility you would die coming here for what you seek. A _hanged_ man, indeed.

“I mean, I’m not dead _yet.”_ Byleth mutters.

“That is so.” Lachesis looks to Atropos, “Sister, will you continue?”

Atropos huffs and pulls the last few cards for Byleth, “You future. The Empress. Perhaps this card is about the woman you _love_ so much. A card of abundance, beauty, _pregnancy._ ” She eyes Byleth, “I know what you can do with that body of yours, _demon_. Better watch yourself or _El_ might have a little surprise for you in nine months.”

Byleth gawks at her, “ _Excuse_ me?”

Clotho sighs, “ _Atropos._ The _reading_.”

Atropos grumbles again. She _never_ got to have any fun around here. They were always so _serious_ all the damn time. She sighs, “A clarifier because my self-righteous sisters have done so as well. Hm. The _Tower_. Wow, what are _you_ going to be in for? Sudden change and upheaval. Better keep your eyes open to what you’re doing around here, Byleth.”

Lachesis closes her eyes, “Now that you have heard your fate, Byleth, King of Hell, daughter…” She blinks, “…son … _child_ of Sitri and Jeralt, how do you wish to proceed?”

“I want in.” Byleth said. What the hell were these cronies on? She didn’t care about their spooky tarot card magic. She was going to get into that Hall of Memories no matter what it took.

“As we suspected.” Clotho nods her head in understanding, “From here, we will test you.”

“Meaning?” Byleth waves her hand in a circle, urging them to continue their inane prattling. 

“You will have trials where you have to display wisdom, strength and courage, each meant to discourage you from gaining what you seek. Pass them, and perhaps we shall grant you access to what you want.” Lachesis explains.

“Or just _die_.” Atropos snaps from her seat, “Really, it's a pain in the ass to set up this crap to begin with.”

Her sisters ignore her griping, “Well, Byleth?” Clotho asks, “This offer will not stand if you choose to leave this room today.”

“Have you three old crones not been listening to a single thing I said? I want _in_.” Byleth looks at them like they’re all stupid and senile.

“Very well. Let us commence the Test of Fate.” Lachesis nods and rises from her seat.

Atropos snickers in her seat, “Oh. This is gonna be good. It’s been awhile since I’ve had any entertainment since the last time you fucked things up.”

\--

Byleth is tired. _Real_ fucking tired of the bullshit. 

She’s been wandering for what seem like ages now. She _followed_ the damn directory. It said the files for A-E were down this stupid hallway. Unless this stupid shit was ordered by last name first… then she would have to go V? H? Von? Hresvelg? Which came first? Oh. This stupid _fucking_ Hall of Memories. She rounds the corner, the tired sounds of her footsteps getting shorter and shorter as she’s finding it harder to keep her normal pace.

She had been poked at with knives, set on fire, nearly drowned, stomped on by titans, tortured with impossible calculus questions, played strip poker with mermaids, got lost in a maze, probed with impossible paradoxes— _all_ of this—just to get into this stupid ass place. She remembers that last puzzle she had to solve, banging on the door—Please. _Please_. Just let me _in._ Haven’t I fucking suffered _enough_?—and it opening to reveal the Moirai, _smiling_ at her. She had done it. She had proven herself to Fate and now here she was… just steps away for what she sought. _If_ she could find it first.

Byleth groans as she rounds another corner and continues down another long hallway. The fucking signs are still saying _Files A-E._ Well _where are they?_ Why is this place so _empty_? And why does it have so many winding corridors. Why is this—and then she stops.

Because, of _course_. Of fucking course.

There _they_ are. Lucifer and Sothis.

They all just … kind of stand there and stare at each other. Sothis has large headphones on her head, wearing a jeans and a t-shirt, while Lucifer has a sweater, sweatpants and … _Crocs_ on. Byleth blinks. Of course. Of _fucking_ course this would happen. Oh, here it was. She was going to die. She went through all of this mess … just to _die_ right here. _Goodbye, El._ I hope you know I was doing this all for you. And me. Mostly you though. You and your cute little angry face. Oh, if _only_ she could see it one more time.

Sothis looks at Lucifer, and then at Byleth, back to Lucifer, “So... who’s going to end this staring contest?”

Lucifer closes his eyes, muttering under his breath. _Byleth_. Always fucking _Byleth._ “…Sothis. Perhaps you should go back to the deck with all those people born in the 1960s and file those. I’ll take care of things up here.”

“You sure?” Sothis asks, looking at Byleth who’s just staring blankly at her, “I don’t need to be here to take care of … _whatever_ this is?”

Lucifer nods, “Very sure.”

“Okay.” She starts walking away, “I’m … gonna go _now_. Leave you two to your demon nonsense or whatever you’re about to do.” She pauses, “We still on for dinner on Thursday?”

“Yeah, sure, Sothis.” Lucifer says as he begins pinching the bridge of his nose. He turns his attention back on Byleth and just stares at her, “Well. I knew this would happen _some_ day. Just didn’t think it would be like this.”

Byleth closes her eyes, “Look, if you’re going to kill me, will you at _least_ let me look at the thing I came here to get?”

Lucifer rolls his eyes, “I’m not going to kill you, Byleth.”

Wait, what? Byleth perks up, “You’re … _not_?”

“No. I’m not.” He turns around and motions for her to follow him, “Come on, and let’s get the thing you’ve been pining after for years now.”

Byleth is …confused. Why was Lucifer actually helping her right now? And what in the world was he _wearing_? Where was the bare chest and leather pants? His hair is in a _man_ bun. Ew. Is this what veganism did to people? “…What?”

“Come _on_ , Byleth.” He doesn’t pause in his stride.

“Yeah… sure.” She jogs after Lucifer and matches his pace, “What are you _wearing_ , Luc?”

“It’s my day off. Sothis and I come around to help with the filing mess in this place. You know, the mess _you_ created when you did your … thing.” Lucifer looks down at her.

“Doesn’t Fate have workers? Minions of her own that can help with this sort of stuff?”

“Sothis and I have made it our responsibility to look after this place considering everything that went down when this new system was established. So, _no_.” He presses a keycard to a door and they turn down another hallway, “How was your little trip? Took the long way around I see.”

“Did you know I was coming?” Byleth asks.

“Byleth, do you realize how long it’s been since anyone has seen you? It’s been a _month._ ” Lucifer answers.

Byleth pales. Had it really been that long? El was probably worrying her poor little head off at this point. Oh, _focus_ , Byleth. You’re almost there. You’ll be able to see her soon. “…A month. You mean to tell me that I spent a fucking _month_ dealing with Fate and her bullshit?”

Lucifer puts a finger to his mouth, “Shh. Not so _loud_. You’re in her domain, Byleth.”

“I don’t fucking care.” Byleth whispers back, indignant, “If I spent a month going through all that shit, how in the world do _you_ and Sothis get in here?”

“Uh… the elevator?” Lucifer answers sheepishly.

Byleth wants to _murder_ him. “Whatever. Just. Take me where I want to go. I’m tired of this already. Been wandering around for what feels like fucking hours. The signs in this place are _terrible._ ” 

Lucifer nods as they walk into another room, “Yeah, sorry. We’re getting around to fixing that… a lot of things need fixing. Thanks—“

“Thanks to me, I _got_ it.” Byleth snaps.

“I never dreamed you would actually make it here, you know. Thought you would have given up and just called it quits.” Lucifer chuckles to himself as they’re walking down a row of stacks now. It’s darker, small circular lights hanging overhead. Looks like evidence racks in a police station storeroom. “But, I guess Fate _did_ allow you to come here after all. Good on her. Maybe she finally decided you’d suffered enough. Done enough good to rectify your wrongs.”

“Yeah, I _guess_ I did.” Byleth mutters as they come to a stop.

“If you’re wondering, we organize according to first name. Maybe that’s why you were so lost to begin with. Think we should change the system to last name?”

“Luc, I _really_ don’t care at this point.”

“Right, right… let’s see…” He leans down. E… Ea… Eberton …Edelgard Buhlmahn, Edelgard Grafer. _Ah._ Edelgard _von Hresvelg_. He pulls out a thick folder and turns to Byleth, “Well. You ready to know the truth?”

“Yes, Luc. Now just give me her damn file.” Byleth lunges forward to snatch it from him but he pulls back.

“Ah, ah. Say, _please,_ Byleth.”

“Give me her fucking file, _PLEASE,_ Luc.” Byleth is tired of her boss always _fucking_ with her.

He smiles, “Here you go.”

Byleth feels like she’s going to fall through the Earth and … go back to Hell. Her vision is blurry, her eyes dry. She feels like her stomach is in her throat as she stares down at the tab with Edelgard’s name on it. This was it, the moment of truth that she had been waiting for. She looks above her, exhales the breath she was holding in and cracks open the file.

She flips through the unimportant stuff that she already knows. Edelgard von Hresvelg: Age, 26. Birthday, June 22nd, 1994. Height: 5’2”. Weight … ugh, she already _knows_ this stuff. Byleth starts flipping through the file, passing all the information about Edelgard’s life. All of that _classified_ and redacted stuff she couldn’t look at when she was in Hell. She’ll come back for that later, the reincarnation tab is the number one thing on her mind right now. She hits the tab labeled, _Past Lives_ , looks down on the page and feels her heart crack.

 **Name:** _Áedán_ _Edelgard_ _Černý_

 **Other Monikers:** _Flame Emperor, Hegemon, Byleth’s Chick, Lesbian Princess of the Vampires_

 **Date of Death:** _December 24 th, 1697_

 **Reason:** _Chose to war with God._

 **Killed By:** _Rhea, The Immaculate One._

 **Place Of Death:** _Araboth, Throne of Sothis_

 **Cause Of Death:** _Stabbed in the heart with the Sword of the Creator._

 **Reincarnation Date:** _June 22 nd, 1994_

 **Reincarnated Name:** _Edelgard von Hresvelg_

She closes her eyes, feels the stress taking a toll on her body and wants to drop to the floor right there. Byleth turns to look at Lucifer and can see in his eyes that he already knew the truth. “You _knew_. You knew this whole fucking time that it was her and you didn’t say anything.”

“Byleth…”

“Why did you _lie_ to me?” Byleth turns to look at Lucifer, “ _Why._ Why didn’t you just tell me that this …” Byleth smacks Edelgard’s file, looks at the reincarnation page again and then looks back at him, “ _Was_ her. That she was Edelgard?”

“Did you really expect me to tell you who she was after everything the two of you _did_?”

“I’ve _changed_.” Byleth stomps her foot, throwing the file on the floor. Papers scattering everywhere, “I’m not trying to wage _war_ anymore. Why _would_ I? I couldn't even if I _wanted_ to.”

Lucifer sighs, bends down to pick the files up. “…It was a precaution, Byleth. You know that.”

“But to just lead me on for so many years. I _knew_ she was in here when her soul never came through Heaven or Hell. Fuck, if she had died right then and there, it wouldn’t have mattered. She would have walked through those Gates of Hell and I would have been right there to welcome her _home_. Her _eternal_ home.” Byleth turned away from him, stalking back down the dimly lit racks, “You _knew_ she had been reincarnated and it was just _so_ fucking much to tell me _who_ she was, wasn’t it?”

“Byleth, I would have told you if I could. But Fate… this is her doing. You know that.” Lucifer responded, “…Do you know just how much _damage_ you did when the two of you tried to take down Sothis? You turned the entire balance of the afterlife on its _head_. Letting a _human_ come for a God? Are you _insane?”_

 _“Fuck,_ Fate. All she does is sit around twiddling her thumbs reading stupid tarot cards in Purgatory anyway.” Byleth yells again, “I was in _fucking_ love with her, Luc. Crazy about that woman. You, me, even Sothis’ childish ass knows it. I wanted to help _her_ , do something for her. And I _tried._ Fuck the repercussions. I didn’t care.” _Just like you do now_. Byleth tries to settle her anger and points two very red eyes on Lucifer, “I don’t care… I really don’t anymore… just. There’s something else I need from here and …I’m tired. I’m so damn tired of this.”

Lucifer pushes Edelgard’s file back into the stacks and stands up, “…I think I know what that is.” He strokes his chin, “…You want access to Edelgard's memories files. To know about her trauma? Are you sure about that?”

“ _Trauma_?” Byleth asks.

“One time you were in my office, you mentioned before that you were searching for something,” He uses air quotes, “ _nefarious_ , were you not? I can only assume that means you wish to view Edelgard’s memories. Trauma, the good stuff, too perhaps. That sort of thing.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Byleth waves a dismissive hand, “Just take me there. I’m so done with this place and I just wanna leave already.”

“Very well, follow me.”

Lucifer takes her out of the filing room containing Edelgard’s reincarnation files and they turn down another hall. He brings Byleth through a mess in one room and then into another room that looks … kind of like a recording booth. There’s a computer and conveyor belt on one side, across the glass to the other its dim and black. Lucifer goes to the computer, types in Edelgard’s name, while Byleth looks around in confusion.

“What is this place?”

“The memories vault. While this entire place is called the _Hall_ of Memories, this is where the actual videos are kept.” Lucifer turns to look over his shoulder, “We’re still—“

“Fixing the system, yeah, I _fucking_ got it already.” Byleth leans down to observe a discard box on the floor labeled— _lost tapes_. “Why is everything in here on VHS?”

“It’s a process, you know. We’re trying to help Fate digitize everything right now but it takes time. Do you realize how many people were living before we started burning everything to discs?”

“…Sure.” Byleth mutters.

The conveyor belt starts spinning and rolls to a stop in front of them. Before them is filing cabinet, labeled with names. He pulls one of the middle ones open and motions for Byleth to come here. Inside are two boxes. One large black one and a tinier golden box with a clasp on it. Lucifer gestures toward the boxes, “The big black one is bad memories, and smaller one is good memories…” He looks at Byleth, “…I think you’re going for the big black one here, though.”

Byleth winces at the sight of it, looks at Lucifer, then reaches in to pull the box out. “…What do I do with this?”

Lucifer nods to the other side of the booth, “That’s the viewing room… you can watch it there.” He looks away, “...I’ll leave you alone to watch this.”

Byleth blinks in confusion. Does Lucifer know what’s contained on these tapes? With a sigh, she watches him leave the room and turns back to what he had referred to as the viewing room and let’s herself in. Its dark, kind of reminds her of a movie theater, but with a seat for only one. She sets the box down and kneels down to look in its contents. They have dates on them… _1994 – 1996, 1996 – 1998,_ and so on. Well, might as well start with the first couple of years, Byleth supposes. She presses the VHS into the VCR, scoots back and watches as the screen before her comes to life.

The videos start off simple enough. Oh, okay, the drowning incident. Hospital sirens, the sound of a child coughing. That wasn’t very nice. The next, her mother leaving her... a sadness in her heart as the sight of the departing woman. She doesn’t even turn around when Edelgard calls out _mommy._ Fucking Anselma.

There’s the one where she’s taken away from her father—something about being mentally unfit. Going to live with Volkhard. He grips her shoulder tightly, whispers in her ear about being a _good girl._ And leaves. A day at the beach, he tries to drown her. So that was where it _really_ started. _Sorry, El_. She loves drawing—he breaks her arm three times so she’ll stop. Cutting all her hair off because she was too _vain_ for a child. A cigarette burn on the arm. Sending her to bed without dinner. Slapped. Choked. Yelled at. Screamed at. How could someone do this... to a _child_?

She gets to the videos labeled _1998 – 2000_ , and has to stop the tape when she hears Edelgard, as a child, crying— _screaming, no_ —Volkhard slapping her and yelling at her to _shut up_ as the bed starts thudding against the—Byleth feels like ... she’s going to be _sick_.

She throws up on the floor, grasping her stomach and has to stop for a minute to catch her breath. She swallows, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, she can’t watch this anymore. Byleth starts jamming her finger on the eject button. Out pops the tape from the VCR. She puts it in the box and kicks it away from her. So ... _that’s_ what El... didn’t ...

She feels like crying. She wishes she had listened. Wishes she didn’t feel the need to seek this information out, all for the sake of finding _something_ she could do to help. Finding out _why_ Edelgard had been so upset that time when she cast that illusion on her in the kitchen. She fists her hands in her hair, Byleth, you _fucking_ idiot. She looks down at the box. There are _eight_ of those videos... in that box. What _else_ did he do to her? Her stomach lurches again and she turns away. Maybe Lucifer knew what he was saying when he told her she shouldn’t watch this ... it was better left in the past.

She’s ... she’s going to fucking _kill_ that man when she gets back to the surface.

Byleth slams the lid to the box back on, apologizes one more time to Edelgard in her head, and stumbles her way out of the viewing room. Lucifer’s in the other room, burning some VHS tapes onto a disc, turns around to face her with a somber look on his face. He doesn’t say anything to Byleth as she passes with that damn box and returns to the file cabinet. He already knows.

“This man was a monster for what he did to her...” Lucifer remarks.

Byleth is struggling to put the box marked with Edelgard’s name on it back in the cabinet. “How could Fate allow something like that happen? To a _child_? She didn’t do anything wrong and _fucking_ Fate just—“ There are tears brimming on the corners of her eyes now, “I’ve had enough. I just ... I want to leave this place, Luc. _Please_. I glad I finally know it’s her, but I regret doing this part.”

“Byleth, please. Take a deep breath.” Lucifer says, trying to console the hysterical demon in front of him, “You can’t change what happened.”

Byleth swallows through the ball of emotion in her throat. She’s done with Purgatory. She just wants to go back to the surface. See Edelgard again, _be_ with Edelgard again. Byleth’s thoughts go back to that night before she left and ... oh, _fuck._ Is that ... she hadn’t forced Edelgard into anything _did_ she? Is that why she had been hiding her face... no, Byleth hadn’t sensed any fear in her emotions that night. She was shy... overwhelmed probably at the thought of having sex with a _demon_ —Byleth in particular. She smacks her face and rubs at her eyes. She can’t think about what he _did_ to her.

Lucifer glances at Byleth, pulls something else from out of Edelgard’s cabinet. A golden box, a little lighter and smaller— _good memories_. He pops the clasp in the front and sifts through something, “We’re kinda doing the good memories first, you know burning them to discs and whatnot. Leaving the bad ones where they stand... _aha.”_

“I don’t want to watch any more videos, Luc.” Byleth closes her eyes as Lucifer reaches an arm her way, “No more videos, I’ve seen enough of El’s memories for now.”

“Oh, but its not a video, it’s a CD.” He taps it against her shoulder, “Byleth. I think you’ll want to see this one.”

She looks at Lucifer, and angrily takes the disc away from him. She stops, her features softening. Written on its shiny cover—why does that look like _Edelgard’s_ handwriting—a name: _Byleth_

Lucifer smiles, somewhat soft and assuring, “I think you’ll like it.”

—

Byleth returns to the viewing room and stares at the disc in her hands. She was tired. Beyond _tired_. More exhausted than she had been after her fight with Rhea and thought El was going to fucking die, and—Byleth, calm down. If _Lucifer_ thought it would help, she guesses she should indulge him.

She stares at the disc for a minute and flips the jewel case over. Nothing special. Just… El’s handwriting. What _was_ this? And why did it have her name? What had Luc said? The newer memories were burned onto discs, so this had to be recent. With a reluctant sigh, she puts the disc into the player and reclines in the chair, the lights dimming overhead.

The first thing she hears is— _WHY ISN’T IT A CAT?_ _It’s a dream, no it’s not, El. She has fangs and why does a demon have blue hair? Is it dyed? I hate this. Why was I so stupid last night? Oh my God, my soul is going to Hell. And she’s a woman… I didn’t know demons were women. Seems like a man’s job_. Byleth chuckles, maybe she was a little right on that one.

The memories pass over the last couple of months, Edelgard’s voice narrating over all of it. _I wish she would stop following me. Maybe I’m going mad. Why is she everywhere I go? I can’t even go to yoga anymore without some type of distraction. Why is she so good at it anyway? Does she practice? Maybe I should bring—stop that. She’s right about her coffee though… it never tastes burnt like when I make it. What are the girls going to say when I tell them that burying the Ouija board didn’t work? Stupid Dorothea. Why did I_ listen _to her? I really wish she would stop leaving all these coffee cups in my apartment, why is she so messy_? Byleth would have to work on that.

Her mood drops a little as it plays back the memory of them in the kitchen. _Why would she_ do _that? I thought this was supposed to be some sort of oath? She said she wouldn’t hurt me… but she’s a demon. Why would I trust the words that come out of some stupid demons mouth? What else does she know about me… does she know about … no one is supposed to_ know _about that._ She goes out and buy hair dye that night. _I need a distraction, I’m starting to get tired of this white and my roots are showing, anyway._ Byleth comes back and tries to make amends. _Why is she being so nice right now? I didn’t think demons_ were _nice._

_Heaven and Hell seem like … a messy place. Hubert is starting to get suspicious, I know he is. But what am I supposed to tell him? I summoned a demon? A king of Hell to do my bidding? He already thinks my screws are loose, why should I give him more fodder for that? I can’t believe they like this stupid reality TV garbage. I guess … I should be glad that it’s okay. At least one person knows I’m not crazy._

Byleth shifts in her seat. _Would it be weird to call a demon your friend? I don’t really mind when she’s around anymore. It’s … kind of become normal actually. She does help out sometimes… like when I’m late for school… or need food or something. Like a personal errand … cat. I won’t tell her that, though. Could you imagine just how much she would gloat over the fact that I don’t find her to be so bad these days? Why is this demon taking care of me? Why does she cook so well? Maybe I should invite her out to … hang out with everyone? It feels weird, having this deep dark secret and no one knows. I’m sure she would say yes… perhaps, to indulge me. …I like it better when she’s a girl_. Byleth grins at that particular comment.

There’s a… particular dream that pops up on the reel and Byleth’s eyes almost widen in glee when she sees the action occurring before her. She starts laughing and her mouth goes dry. That looks _fun_. “So, I wasn't the only one, _huh_ , Edelgard? …I wonder if she’d want to do that in person… hm…” Oh, the ideas that start forming in her mind. _WHY AM I HAVING SEX DREAMS ABOUT A DEMON? STOP IT BRAIN._

Edelgard is drawing her now. _I think I should start using her for figure studies; she’s got a good … figure. And she doesn’t have to know about it. I would die if she knew. Probably would tease me to no end. …_ Instead Byleth asks her to draw them having sex. _THE NERVE._

 _I’m no good at this chess game and I hate that she wins all the time. Why does she keep having me play this anyway? Whatever, if she likes it … I guess I could learn to as well._ That evening when she comes back and finds her upset. _IhatemymotherIhatemymotherIhatemymotherIhate—oh, Byleth is here. I don’t want her to see me like this… I don’t have the energy for this right now. Why did she kiss me? Why does it feel warm inside? I don’t feel like this often… if at all. Its just friendship isn’t it? I haven’t … done anything like this in awhile. I hope she comes back tomorrow—I want to show her my painting. It’s finally here! I didn’t think this would even happen… why is she … acting so weird when she sees it? Does she think it’s me? Oh, shit. I forgot about the kids. I should go see them… but would she want to come as well? Why is she talking about demons and not messing with kids? Is this a sexual thing? No? Thank God. Just how old is Byleth anyway…_ oh _. That’s a pretty wide age gap, Edelgard. You couldn’t find anyone younger to like?_

The gallery. _She looks … handsome tonight. I prefer her as a girl, but in that suit … and tie … and… that’s not a bad look either. Hm. I’m glad she came. I’m_ really _glad. Maybe… at the end of this night we can talk. About things. I don’t know. We’ve become a lot closer haven’t we? The whole demon nonsense is still there, but … it’s almost like she’s become a friend. A really_ good _friend. Maybe I want to be more than friends. I … don’t know what I feel. I don’t want her to go away though. Besides Hubert, you’re the closest person to me in my life right now. She’s really focused on that painting, though. Just_ who _is that woman? I want to ask her about it… but maybe I shouldn’t._ Attacking Thales, the mood changes. _SHE’S GOING TO MURDER HIM. STOP. OH MY GOD. I DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT EVER AGAIN. FUCK. OH MY GOD. I KNEW YOU WERE A DEMON, BUT I NEVER WANTED TO SEE_ THIS.

Lots of anger in the following memories. _Fuck you, Byleth. Fuck off, Byleth. I hate you, Byleth. I can’t believe I could have ever … seen something with you, Byleth. I hope you choke on your stupid flowers and die, Byleth. …Why do you want to hurt me, Byleth? Fuck you and your stupid chess games, Byleth. I fucking hate you, Byleth._ The anger raises… then fades. There’s nothing but white noises and a grey screen for a while following that. This must have been when Rhea’s stupid ass lured her out into that snowstorm. She comes back with far murmurs of— _cold, cold, cold, cold. Why does it feel like I’m freezing to death? I feel like … there’s some type of warmth trying to spread through my body and … is that Byleth? My head hurts. It hurts. I can’t feel my feet right now. Why does she look so relieved? What the fuck happened?_

Sitting by the fireplace. _She’s warm. Very warm. And so serious right now. Intense. I kind of like it… please don’t go away and get yourself killed. I need you … here. Please. It’s … it’s no fun when you’re gone. I don't have many people that understand me, and you're one of the only ones that does. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m happy when you’re here even if I’m bad at showing it. How could this woman be so important to her that she’s going to risk her life doing something so stupid? Wasn’t this years ago? Decades? Hundreds of years? I don’t understand…_ _please, Byleth. Don’t go. I love you._

Byleth sighs at that confession and looks up at the next memories that play through. It’s as if Edelgard’s heartbeat is directly in her ears. _Why did you kiss her? Oh, wait, she kissed you back. Those eyes are intense. What’s she thinking? Why are her hands so low? Why is she pressing against me like that? She wants to have sex? After all of this craziness tonight? I guess… I guess… I guess we could. I’ve … oh my God._ Byleth grins. Oh, she looked _hot_ that night. Yeah, yeah, tremble some more, El. Look at you, Byleth, fucking her with your mouth and your _eyes_. _Where did she learn to use her_ tongue _like that? Maybe it won’t be so bad having a demon as a …_ Seems like she can’t bring herself to think of the next word. Byleth starts laughing. Millennia of practice, El. Ah… she could listen to those sounds of climax all fucking day. Byleth had problems… a _lot_ of problems.

The reel clicks into its last couple of minutes. Lying in bed that night. _I don’t want you to go away. I’m going to miss you… please stay safe. I’ll be waiting for you when you return home. Please. Just come_ home _._

The video fades to black and Byleth just sits there for a while. Yeah, she felt a little better after this. Thanks, Luc. She pops the disc out of the player and leaves the viewing room. Lucifer is hauling another heavy box onto one of the shelves when Byleth comes to find him.

She hands the disc back to him, “…Thanks. For that.”

He takes it back from her, “Thought it would put you in a better mood.” He sets it down on some boxes, “So, what are you going to do now that you know the truth? Try and kill me? Kill Sothis? Blow up the entire world? Just tell me so I can start preparing for your inevitable demise.”

Byleth looks up at him with weary eyes. “Go home.”

“…To _Hell_?” He asks.

“No. To _El_.” She responds.

“ _Byleth_.” Lucifer starts, ready to admonish her.

“It’s not … like… I mean, I’m just gonna go back and see her. She’s probably worried.” Byleth replies, “I just want to go somewhere away from all of this. Can’t I have that?”

Lucifer sighs long and hard, “Fine. I’ll give you a _week_ on Earth to go see her. Talk to her or whatever it is that you need to do.”

“Thanks, Luc.” Her shoulders heave and she turns around as if she’s about to leave, when Lucifer continues.

“I’m still grounding you when you get back to Hell.”

“ _Why_?”

“Because I _can_.” He looks at her, “Think of it as mandatory down time. You look like _shit.”_

 _“Well,_ duh. Do you even know what I’ve gone through to get in this place? Solving fucking puzzles? Having my tarot read by the Moirai? Having Fate pass judgment on me to even determine if I’m _worthy_ enough to be here?”

“Fighting with Rhea.” Lucifer mutters as he dips down to pull something toward him. Ugh, more bad memory boxes. How many of these _existed_ in this damn place?

“She keeps coming for my head even when I haven’t even fucking done anything!”

“Yeah. _About_ that.” Lucifer starts, “Sothis has already punished Rhea. Stuck her on kitchen duty. She’s _grounded_ in heaven. Just like you’re about to be _grounded_ in Hell after you have your time with _Edelgard_.”

“Stop saying her name like that.” Byleth mutters, “Jackass.”

“At any rate. I think it would be good for you to have some distance from her after you two _talk_. You’re probably more emotional than you want to admit. And I _know_ how you get.” Lucifer rolls his eyes, “Honestly, it’s like I’m the father of a bunch of _teenagers_ around here instead of demons!”

“Maybe you are.” Byleth mutters, “Look. Can I leave now? We’ll discuss my punishment when I get back to Hell. I just … wanna get back to Edelgard already and let her know I’m okay. It’s been a _month_. Who knows what she’s done in my absence.”

Lucifer casts a scrunitizing look at Byleth, “…There’s nothing going on between you two, is there? Just _friends_?”

“ _Yes_.” Byleth says, trying to keep her tone completely neutral, “Me coming here and finding out the truth was for my own sake. I can’t keep chasing a dead love, _can_ I? She’s not the _same_ person, is she?”

Lucifer looks at her, doesn’t quite believe her… but he’ll rest until he has his proof, “Very, well. _Go._ Let her know you’re okay. I hope you know there won't be _any_ speaking to her about who she _really is_. Tell her you found out who the person is that you were searching for, and that you know where they are, and it's _not_ her. That's it, because if you tell _her_ _,_ Byleth... well I don’t think I have to tell you what happens.”

Yeah, yeah. They’d kill her or seal her for a few thousand years or whatever and Edelgard would be lost to her again. It didn’t matter. She was practically dead to begin with. “Right. Yeah. Whatever.”

“ _Swear_ to me Byleth.”

“I _swear_ , Luc.” Byleth groans, “Now can you get me out of here already? I’ve had enough of this place.”

Lucifer is all too willing to oblige and waves her off back in the direction of Enbarr. Once she disappears in a rush of fire and black, he sighs. _M_ _y_ what a cumbersome child Byleth was. 

Now... back to burning those damn VHS tapes.


	16. Welcome Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I decided maybe we could put on something slow, set the mood and.... I’ve been writing a lot of angst and sad shit, so here’s a break. 
> 
> Didn’t think I was gonna have time to write today, but wrong again, I guess. This whole chapter, is nothing but fluff. Zero plot. Just a self indulgent piece of happy times ... before I get in with plot stuff again. Which is violent happy, not happy, then happy again. I promise they’ll get their happy ending.
> 
> Oh, yeah. I’m an idiot. Primarily written to Bound 2 by Kanye. I don’t know. Byleth has a motorcycle and loves the Kardashians… and Edelgard… I’ll stop now.

Byleth collapsing and hitting the floor with a hard _thud_ is the thing that startles Edelgard out of her sleep.

She had been having a dream about Byleth, a prince—wearing a crown, black bikini, her tits looked _good_ in that—Hubert, in a speedo with a sword— _ew—_ and an armored teddy bear—aww, _cute_ , she’d have to pick up that one she saw at the store a while back—trying to rescue her, a princess—of _course_ —from a white dragon who kept screaming about immorality and cross dressing. Actually, it wasn’t a dream. It was a freaking _nightmare_.

She’s up in an instant, grabbing her frying pan from next to her pillow and holding it in place with two shaking hands. She’s been sleeping with the frying pan now, doesn’t trust that a demon or angel won’t spring out of her closet and try and mess with her again. It’s another form of protection, just until Byleth comes back, of course.

When nothing happens, Edelgard swallows, leans over with one hand to turn on her light and sees the figure of blue and black passed the fuck out, face down, on the floor of her bedroom.

“ _Byleth_!” There’s both happiness and worry in that voice, as she struggles to pull Byleth to her feet, “You’re back, you’re—what _happened?_ It’s almost February and you left at the beginning of _January_. Are you okay? You look terrible, what did they _do_ to you in—“

“El.” Her voice is muffled in the fabric of Edelgard’s t-shirt. She smells _nice_. It had been so freaking long since she was able to smell that scent in person.

“—I’ve been texting Claude for days, always asking if he’s heard anything but it’s always no. And he keeps sending me these _God_ awful mixtapes and asking me what I think—“

“ _Edelgard_.” Byleth tries again, tired, but the girl just keeps rambling, smoothing over her hair with her tiny hand.

“—I was so _worried_. I kept your ring on like you asked, but I ... Hubert thinks we’re _engaged_ now. Is that what you meant when you put this on my hand that night by the fire? I mean. We could talk about that—“

Byleth uses what strength she has to push Edelgard back onto the bed and push herself up over her. She shuts her up by grabbing her face and kissing her with everything she can manage in there current moment. Edelgard just stares at her and Byleth smiles weakly, “Missed you too, all right? But I’m fucking beat, and the only thing I wanna do is get in this bed, curl up with you, and go to sleep... _okay_?”

Oh. Okay. She could ask her questions in the morning. Byleth doesn’t even bother with taking her clothes—well not really clothes, kind of like demon _armor_? So much metal and black—as she presses her face into Edelgard’s chest and throws her arms around her, breathes in her scent again. Edelgard has to tap at her arms to loosen up a bit—you’re going to _squeeze_ me to death, Byleth.

She tries to encourage Byleth to take off the damn armor and get somewhat comfortable. Reluctantly, and with tired hands, Byleth pulls at the guards on her forearms and shins, kicks off her dirty boots, and lets the more cumbersome and metal parts fall to the side of Edelgard’s bed with a heavy thud. Oh, and the stupid fucking cape that won’t stop choking _her_ —Edelgard helps her with that when she starts yanking at it in frustration. Once they’re settled and Edegalrd isn’t being poked to death by metal anymore, Edelgard puts a hand on her head, threads her fingers through Byleth’s hair, “I know you’re tired .... but did something happen to you while in Purgatory?”

A head nod. _Yes._

“Okay... do you want to talk about it?”

She shakes her head. _No_.

Edelgard frowns, presses both her hands to Byleth’s head. “…Byleth. Are you okay?”

Her response is gripping Edelgard tighter and her shoulders just begin to shake. It’s faint, almost silent at first, but the shaking of Byleth’s shoulders and the jerky breaths she’s taking tells Edelgard all she needs to know. _Shhh, it’s okay now. You’re home._ The front of Edelgard’s shirt is wet and she simply runs her hands through Byleth’s hair again and tells her _shhh,_ again _,_ as the sounds of crying get louder. What had she _been_ through down there? Up there? She has no idea where Purgatory even was. Byleth sounds like she’s trying to talk through all the mess, but Edelgard shushes her once again. Edelgard pulls her duvet up again with her free hand and presses a soft kiss to the crown of Byleth’s head as her sobbing has now subsided into soft gasps of air.

They could talk later. For now, let’s get some sleep.

—

Byleth opens her eyes hazily and they roll around trying to figure out where in the _hell_ she was. Soft classical music, brown haired girl sitting at a desk while clicking around on her computer. _Oh_. El’s room.

It’s kind of dark, the only illumination in the room is coming Edelgard’s desk lamp and those damn hipster fairy lights that Edelgard has strewn about her bed and window. Byleth feels somewhat better... no splitting headache, no aching body, no heavy emotional turmoil. Her stomach gurgles. She _is_ hungry though.

She closes her eyes and runs her hand over her face, trying to remember how she got here. Lucifer had sent her up… right. And then, finally realizing she was out of the shitshow that was Purgatory and _back_ where she wanted, she had let go. Just … fallen right there. Then Edelgard had picked her up… started rambling and …why was El sleeping with a _frying pan_? Was that for her? She’s not even going to even ask.

She chances sitting up and groans. Her body feels _wrecked_. But, she slept nice though. Edelgard’s bed was always comfortable. The sheets that had been pulled up and tucked in meticulously around her fall to her hips—Edelgard’s doing, what a _sweetheart_. She rubs her forehead again and let’s her hand fall back to the poofy duvet covering the lower half of her body. “El?”

Edelgard startles briefly at the interruption and then spins around in her desk chair, “You’re _up_!” Byleth has never seen her look so excited before—well, maybe except that time she was yelling about her painting—as she gets up and runs over to the bed to _hug_ her. Tackle her would be a more appropriate description. “How are you feeling?”

“Like … shit.” Byleth replies as Edelgard pulls away from her, “…How long was I out for? What time is it?”

“Just past seven. And, just a day.” Edelgard replies, folding her hands in her lap, “Must have been tired, huh?”

Byleth rubs her head again and looks down at the floor of Edelgard’s floor. Oh, her armor. Jeez, Byleth. Didn’t you say you were going to try and start being neater around here? Her stomach gurgles again. “…I’m hungry.”

“Good!” Edelgard gets off her bed, “I was just about to make dinner.” She pauses by the archway of the door, “…Is there anything you want in particular?”

“Food.” Byleth answers tiredly. Her shoulders slump as she closes her eyes again, fighting the urge to curl back up and go to sleep.

“…Are you sure you don’t want to sleep some more?” Edelgard asks, walking back over to the bed, “You were exhausted when you popped in on me last night. Almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Very sure.” Byleth answers, feeling disgusted that she’s still wearing the same clothing she had on while running around Purgatory, “Just … having a hard time waking up. …You know how long I was gone for? Do you know how _long_ I’ve been in this mess?”

Edelgard claps her hands together, “Why… don’t you go take a shower first? And then we can think about food. Some hot water would do you good.”

“Sure. Do you have something I can wear?” She looks down at the thick black leggings still covering her legs, then starts pulling at her thick black tunic, “I want to take a shower. Or a bath. And change into something that isn’t … _this_.”

Edelgard starts pulling open her dresser and rummages around for the blackest thing she can find, “You can wear my shoes, but, think my clothes will be …” She looks down at Byleth’s chest and then up at the demon’s perturbed face. She smiles, teasing a bit, “... _Okay_?”

Byleth’s answer is pulling off the tunic in front of Edelgard so that she’s nude from the waist up and the girl actually has the audacity to _blush_ and turn around while squeaking— _Byleth!_ What? Edelgard _started_ it. Byleth rolls herself off the bed and gets to her feet, “Yeah. This will be fine.”

“Yo... you know where the bathroom is.” Edelgard looks up at her, making sure to keep her eyes on her face and still blushing. “Towels are in the cabinet by the sink.”

“Indeed I do.” Byleth mutters, accepting the clothes and leering at Edelgard. Why’s she being so _shy_ right now? Really, she’s seen everything already. …Well, maybe she hasn’t seen _everything._ Byleth snickers to herself, perhaps gaining some of her mischievous sense back.

“I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done. Maybe make some coffee to help you wake up.” Edelgard begins as she turns away from her to go over to her computer and pause the damn classical music.

Before Edelgard can even get away, Byleth gives her a soft smack on the ass and Edelgard yelps again, turning around to try and hit her. “Sounds _good_.” And she’s off to the bathroom.

—

Byleth is in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and Edelgard’s clothes on. The shorts fit fine, but the shirt exposes her midriff. She leers again at Edelgard when she catches her staring and the other girl turns away in vague disgust. _Good_. They were getting back to their usual dynamic.

Edelgard is making something simple. She had asked Byleth if she wanted anything in particular. It _was_ her coming home dinner after all. Byleth doesn’t really care, she’ll eat whatever Edelgard cooks. _Aw_ , a home cooked meal. They were growing more disgustingly domesticated by the day.

Byleth is sitting on the counter, kicking her legs back and forth while Edelgard is chopping mushrooms to add to the sauce that she’s making. “How’ve things been up here since I’ve been gone?” Byleth asks, leaning over for the coffee pot to pour another mug. It’s been fucking _ages_ , even if Edelgard’s brew was weak and sloppy. And burnt. “No trouble for you while I was gone?”

“Nothing but Claude and his awful mixtapes.” Edelgard mutters.

“Yeah. I’ve been telling him to give up on that dream for years and he just won’t listen.” Byleth sighs as she takes another sip, “So he came up here then? Introduced himself? Didn’t give you any _trouble_?”

“Don’t you remember me telling you that when you appeared on my bedroom floor nearly comatose?” Edelgard slides the knife and pushes the mushrooms into a bowl.

“No, because I was borderline unconscious when Lucifer shot me up here.” Byleth replied.

Yeah… she didn’t like seeing Byleth like that at all. They would have to talk about that later after she fed her and got her energy up. Edelgard continues, “Anyway. No, he was fine. Kept me up to date about whether you came back or not. I think he missed you because he kept asking me to come down to Hell for a drink, which I refused. I’m _not_ going back down there. I _hate_ that way of travel.”

Byleth nods in understanding. Good. So they were even. She wouldn’t have to kill him, “I told you he was a good man.”

“Demon.” Edelgard corrects her. She pulls an onion onto the cutting board, “As for myself, I don’t really have anything special to report. Back at school. Back at work. The usual.”

“Would have traded places for normal.” Byleth mutters to herself.

Edelgard pauses in her chopping and looks up at her, “…Was Purgatory really that bad? You were barely conscious last night.”

Byleth waves her hand in dismal, “I’ll tell you about it later. Can you finish making dinner first? I’m _starving_ over here.”

“Yeah, _yeah_. Stop whining.” Edelgard mutters. She dumps the rest of the vegetables into the pan, coats them with oil and turns the stove on, “…Well… I guess something _did_ happen.”

Byleth hops off the counter and checks the boiling pot of pasta on the other eye, “And that is?”

“Dimitri. My stepbrother.” Edelgard starts stirring as the vegetables sizzle in front of her. She opens a cabinet and reaches for the salt. Byleth scrunches her nose in disgust—careful with that mess, “He’s back home. From rehab that is.”

“Oh. Yeah, I think you mentioned that.” Byleth replies, “How’s he doing?”

“Fine, I suppose.” Edelgard stirs again. She glances at the pot of pasta and lowers the flame, “He … he wants me to come to my mother’s house for a _family_ dinner.”

“Sounds fun.” Byleth mutters.

“ _Real_ fun.” Edelgard sighs, looks at the ceiling for a minute and then turns to Byleth, “I … I’m only going to show support. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m … I don’t feel obligated to. But, it’s Dimitri. And if anyone has shown me any semblance of courtesy in my family, blood or not, it’s him.”

“Sounds like a good guy then?” Byleth shrugs, not entirely sure.

“He was. Still is. A little more depressed, I think.” She frowns, maybe talking about herself too in that regard, “But, if he wants me there. I’ll go. I just … don’t want to be there for too long.”

Byleth can feel the hesitation radiating off of Edelgard and comes up behind her, linking her arms around her waist and leaning down to press her chin into Edelgard’s shoulder, “I could come with you, you know?”

Edelgard pauses and looks at her, “… _Really_?”

“Sure. Why not? Don’t you think its time I meet the in-laws? Let them know their daughter scored quite a catch? That sort of thing.” Yeah. She’ll go. She wants to see who these people _are_. There’s another reason for her coming along that Edelgard doesn’t quite need to know about. …Yet.

“What do you _mean_ by that?” Edelgard frowns as she lobs some butter into the pan of vegetables, “ _Byleth_.”

“I could be _Byca_ for a night. Piss your mother off some more, that kind of thing. Let them know that their daughter is dating a king of Hell. Having crazy and wild demon sex every night.” Byleth chuckles as she moves Edelgard’s hips side to side in a slow, wistful way, “I think it’s a marvelous idea.”

“I’m not even _out_ to my family.” Edelgard mutters, “My mother still thinks I’m dating your hedge fund half.”

“Well then, why not fuck the family up even more and throw this big grand, gay, gesture in their face?” Byleth asks.

Edelgard sighs, “…Maybe let all the demons in the closet come out for one night, huh? Dimitri and his drug issues, me and my …” She pauses and shakes her head. Byleth frowns a little but doesn’t say anything. No use trying to hide that, El, she already knows what you’re thinking about. She’s _seen_ it. “Nevermind. I guess, maybe I can just say that I’m bringing a friend along for the night… or …”

“Look, El, I’ve already met your mother. She doesn’t seem to be like the type to randomly let people in her house if they aren’t hedge fund lords or pompous debutant queens. If you _want_ , I could just you know … stay in the background. As support. No one said I had to go corporeal.” Byleth reminds her. “Would that be okay?”

“I think that would work better.” Edelgard tries to move, but Byleth is still holding onto her. She kicks at Byleth’s feet to try and shuffle her into place. The sauce is almost done and she’s putting the finishing touches on it after turning off the pot with the pasta.

Byleth mentally groans for a second. Shit, she forgot. Luc put a stupid fucking limit to the time she could spend up here. She winces, hoping that she can still keep her promise. “When is it?”

“Next Friday. So… about a week from today.”

Byleth mutters, _thank, Lucifer,_ under her breath. “Okay. Sounds good then.”

“ _Thank_ you.”

Byleth presses a kiss to her cheek and smiles, the usual. Cheeky and fangy, “Of _course_. Anything for my little artsy lady.”

Edelgard snorts, “Yeah… about that. So... our contract is broken now... isn’t it?”

Byleth chuckles, “I guess it is.” Fucking Clause F. Edelgard, in both her lifetimes, was the _only_ person to ever break that. Hell, now that Byleth thinks about it, their contract was probably never legal to begin with. Oh well, Edelgard doesn’t have to know about that.

Edelgard turns the sauce pan off and pauses, thinking about something. She looks at Byleth. “But … I thought demons don’t have hearts, Byleth?”

“They don’t.” Byleth replies, frowning at her coffee that’s now lukewarm now.

“Then… how do you…”

What? Feel what I do about you? The frown grows deeper, she’s deflecting. “I just feel ... what I _feel_ for you, okay?” Byleth asks, “...Isn’t that enough..?”

“Okay. _Okay_.” Maybe it was a touchy subject. She would try to broach it later. She wanted an explanation, but it would have to wait. “So does that mean we’re dating now? And you don’t have dominion over my soul anymore?”

Byleth chuckles, “Oh, I’ll _always_ have dominion over that.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, “Yeah, whatever. Grab me some plates would you? Make yourself useful?”

“I thought this was all about _my_ comfort tonight?” Byleth pretends to pout as Edelgard strains the pasta and puts the colander over the pot.

“It _is_.” Edelgard smacks her away again as Byleth tries to get grabby, “And I’m _trying_ to do so, but you keep trying to grope me every five seconds.”

“I _missed_ you.” Byleth replies.

“Yeah, I know.” Edelgard turns around, pressing a quick kiss to her lips, “I missed you too, dummy. Do you know how _quiet_ it was while you were gone? Almost eerie.”

“Great.” Byleth smiles in glee at Edelgard’s lips being pressed against hers, “I’ll make sure to make all the damn noises I want then now that I’m back.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, “Charming. Now would you _move_ so that we can eat?”

—

It’s later in the night now. They’ve eaten—Edelgard one plate, Byleth basically destroyed the rest. Edelgard just stares at Byleth almost eating her damn china, when the demon gives her a pitiful look. I haven’t eaten all _month,_ El. Take pity on me. Edelgard did. She was the most pitiful of all pitiful demons that she had ever seen.

It’s a Saturday night, so Byleth has her watching the deplorable Kardashians again. Byleth turns to Edelgard as Kim is crying _why_ again and smirks. She’s eating chips—she just _won’t_ stop eating—tips the bag up to the sky as she finishes it off and says she’s got an idea. They were kind of like the Kim and Kanye of Hell, weren’t they? Byleth has a motorcycle; they should recreate the Bound 2 video. You know with Edelgard, topless, and bouncing around on—Edelgard slaps her shoulder and tells her to stop being an _idiot_.

A half hour later, the front door opens. Oh, look, Hubert’s home. _Ah, Edelgard, your demon girlfriend is back, hm? How’s the wedding planning going? Will it be here? Or in Hell?_ Byleth just stares at Edelgard as her face turns red and she tells Hubert to shut _up_. What? They’re _engaged_? Did she miss something here? Have you been planning fantasy weddings without me? I want to wear a shiny gold tux; I told you that, right? Edelgard hates them both.

They go to bed after Edelgard finishes one of her assignments and Byleth looks at her phone. She shoots Claude a text, _Hey, I’m back. Up at El’s place. Be back in a week. Grounded._ Her phone chimes two seconds later, _Drinks on me when you get your crazy ass back here. Hey, can you ask Edelgard if she listened to my latest mix?_ No, Claude. She wasn’t.

When Edelgard comes over to the bed, Byleth chucks her phone somewhere, forgotten and opens her arms and starts making grabbing motions with her hands. Come here you wonderful woman, I fucking _missed_ you. Edelgard pretends to be disgusted by her neediness, but obliges her and let’s Byleth give her a bone-crushing hug again. She tells her to let go when she can’t reach the light on her nightstand, because Byleth has pined her arms to her side. Nope, she’s _never letting_ go. She’s going to hold you here, _forever_. Eventually Edelgard does get the light turned off and settles into bed with Byleth pulling her into another embrace. She won’t stop _sniffing_ her. Why were demons so _weird_?

They get comfortable with Edelgard facing Byleth and the demon giving her the softest of looks that she can manage. _I know, I’m happy you’re back, too. And you’re safe. And they didn’t kill you._ But... when were they going to talk about what happened? She doesn’t want to ruin the moment but she’s curious. Byleth just seems content with staring at her. Edelgard leans forward and kisses her softly; let’s get some sleep. I’m off tomorrow, and we can spend it doing something … _normal_ for once. Byleth shakes her head. Normal? She doesn’t _do_ normal. She grabs Edelgard, returns the kiss on her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, gives her an eskimo kiss on her nose and then a short one on the lips.

Edelgard slaps her shoulder playfully and tells her to go to sleep. Not yet. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? She flips her onto her back—kiss, kiss, kiss—Edelgard hikes a leg around her hips and pulls her down so that they’re chest to chest. A more heated exchange, heavier breathing. Byleth isn’t so sure this is the route she wants to go tonight but …

Edelgard grabs her hand, tries to direct it into the band of her shorts, but Byleth seems to hesitate for a minute. She opens her eyes to look at her and Byleth is biting her lip and staring down at her as if she’s thinking about something. Edelgard tries to move her hand again, but Byleth doesn’t budge. There’s silence between them.

Edelgard gives her a scrutinizing look and Byleth looks away from her, feeling distant. She sits up as Byleth moves from on top of her. Her gaze is unwavering, “You looked.” Not accusatory, just confirming, “Didn’t you?”

 _Caught_. Byleth sighs and moves back. She crosses her legs and hunches her back, “I told you I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t.” She starts fiddling with her hands, won’t meet Edelgard’s eyes.

Edelgard sighs long and heavy, “.... _Byleth_.”

Still distracted with her hands. Silent.

Edelgard continues, “Are you going to make things weird now that you know what happened to me?”

“No...” A lie. It was still on her mind.

“Are you _sure_?” Edelgard probes, trying to get her to look at her again. She places a hand on Byleth’s face and turns her so that she would look at her, “How much did you see?”

“Enough.” Byleth answers again, not wanting to remember what was in that black box, “…I saw enough, El.”

Edelgard sighs, “Can you not do this? Tonight, that is?”

Byleth rolls over and lies back down on the bed, “I just … can you give me a minute? To digest it?”

“It’s not _yours_ to digest. It didn’t happen to you.” Edelgard replies.

“Yeah. But it happened to _you_. And I care about you, okay?” Byleth frowns. Why couldn’t Edelgard see where she was coming from on this? “Can … we talk about things later? Please?”

Edelgard sighs and lies down next to her, “Fine.” If it would help things get back to normal, she supposes she _could_.

Things are silent for a while. Byleth has her eyes closed, hands over her stomach as she takes another long inhale and exhale. If she was going to probe about private matters, Edelgard would, too.

“Other than that …did you find out who that woman is?” Edelgard asks.

Byleth open her eyes, blinks, and then looks off toward the window, “Yeah. …Yeah, I did. And she’s alive. And well. Doing really well…” Why does she sound so … _sad_?

“Do you think you’ll … meet up with her?” Edelgard asks, “Maybe see how she’s doing?”

Byleth shakes her head, “It doesn’t work that way. She doesn’t even remember me so it doesn’t matter, does it? Besides. I’m sure she’s happy now. And I don’t have to worry about it…it’s good, El. She’s … good.” If only she _knew_ , if only she could tell her. 

“…Suppose not.” Edelgard nods, “…How was Purgatory, anyway?”

Byleth groans. Sure, let’s talk about that instead. Anything else besides that damn accursed Hall of Memories, “Fucking weird. Souls _everywhere_. I met Fate. Boy, was that a shitshow.”

“Oh? How did that go?”

“Well, first…” Byleth starts, seemingly growing more upbeat that she doesn’t have to talk about … the other _stuff_ , “Let me tell you how I snuck into the place. I was like a fucking ninja, El, should have seen it.”

Edelgard snorts, “A _ninja?”_

“Yeah. Fucking flipping into the shadows and shit. I looked cool as fuck. Wish you could have seen me.” She rolls over so she can look down at Edelgard, who’s now turned on her side to listen to Byleth tell her story, “Then I had to ride this damn train to The River of Passing where I saw _Death_ screaming at everyone. I thought she would be kinder to souls in their last moments, you know? Guess not. Oh! I had to fucking swim through this ocean and got eaten by a giant fish snake lady and, _fuck,_ if it weren’t for your rage music playlist, I don’t think I would have ever gotten through that first bit.”

Rage music? Edelgard actually starts laughing now, “…Byleth, are you _catdemon69_?”

“…Uh, duh?” Byleth replies, “Who else would it be?”

“Jeez, continue…” Her eyes are starting to close now. A little sleepy, but still cognizant to listen to Byleth talk.

“Yeah… so. Then I get thrown around in this fucking snakehead or whatever it is. Spit out into this … field or whatever. There’s a goddamn ocean in the sky. I mean, this is the weirdest shit I’ve seen in a long time and I live in _Hell_ , so anyway.” She continues rambling, not realizing Edelgard has almost fallen asleep on her, “I get to this crazy ass large lady in a forest and it turns out _Fate_ is actually these three old cronies who like cutting each other with tarot cards and one of them tells me I might get you _pregnant_ or some crazy shit, what the _fuck_ , so—“

Edelgard’s soft snoring is what causes Byleth to stop. Byleth turns to look at her in the darkness of her room and smiles—that same sad one from before. She shouldn’t be sad, no. She isn’t. It’s just … _her_. She’s there. She finally _knows_ where she went. _Right there all along, Byleth._

Byleth turns over on her side, pulling the duvet along with her. She throws it over Edelgard’s side and shifts slightly so that she can throw an arm over her hips and pull her closer. Edelgard sleepily obliges and her head tilts just so that the crown of her head is pressed against Byleth’s chin. She leans down and presses a kiss to Edelgard’s head and sighs. What a fucking month.

Byleth looks down at the girl currently snuggled up to her. She only had a week. Better make this time count, By. Who knew what Luc had planned for her when it was time for her to return to Hell? Probably would have to tell Edelgard at sometime that she would be disappearing for a while. Or not. Who knows, who cares? Lucifer was a softie these days. He would probably just relegate her to cleaning the skeletons out of the Styx. Gross. She _hated_ skeletons.

She sighs and her mind wanders. Dinner at Anselma’s, huh? Maybe she could gain some intel on how to get to Volkhard in the process. The _fucking_ … she glances down at Edelgard, watching the covers go up and down in tandem with her breathing. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry they put you through that. You, of all people, didn’t deserve that. You were a kid... a little _fucking_ kid, and he...

Don’t worry; I’m here to make it right.

She presses her face into Edelgard’s hair, breathes, and closes her eyes.

_I’ll make it right, El._


	17. Saturday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote a good majority of this to Saturday Night by Misfits, hence the name of the chapter. There’s fifty two ways to murder anyone. One and two are the same. And they both work as well. For Volkhard that is.
> 
> So, this chapter. Honestly it gave me so much anxiety to write. Had some reservations about how it turned out, hope you like it. Anyway, this one gets a bit violent. Uhh... I guess you can call what Byleth does to Volkhard a torture scene. Personally, I think it’s just Byleth taking care of things for her lady. What a charmer. So. Warning for that. Also Volkhard being gross, possibly triggering language. Warnings all around for this chapter. I implore you, read at your on digression.
> 
> At any rate, enjoy El’s lovely demon girlfriend getting even with her piece of shit uncle.
> 
> I know I did.

Byleth spends her time before she’s grounded in Hell, being _normal_ with Edelgard.

She wakes up to wintry sun at dawn, shining in her face. Blyeth has been pushed into the corner of the bed, Edelgard’s doing. Her right arm is currently latched over Byleth’s chest and her legs are kinda… entangled with Byleth’s like she was trying to kick her away, or pull her in, but she couldn’t decide and just gave up. Byleth has to snicker at the sight of the girl. My, what a wild sleeper. She glances at the clock. It’s around 7AM, a little too early, she tries to readjust herself, but sleeping Edelgard isn’t having that, so she resigns herself to her fate and goes to sleep.

The next time she wakes up it’s to Edelgard’s lips on her neck and her hand’s between Byleth’s legs. Lavender eyes turned on her, soft, yet intense. _Good morning_. It’s time I return the favor, yeah? Byleth cannot believe this shit. Well, in a good way. After grasping Edelgard’s attention into kissing her instead, stumbling through a somewhat messy climax and regaining her wits, she tries to return the favor. Edelgard smiles, tells her no. Not yet anyway. …Were things still weird from last night?

They try to fit into the tiny tub together, but decide on taking a shower together instead. As always, Byleth never keeps her hands to herself and ends up pressing Edelgard up against the shower wall to make out with her instead. They only stop when Hubert knocks on the door—irritated. _Will you two stop fucking in there? I have to go to work._

They go out, Byleth obliging her diminutive little human and swinging her hand as they walk down the street. Edelgard kept prattling on about wanting to go to the toy store she worked at, there was something she wanted to buy. Byleth kind of … just snickers as Edelgard points out a teddy bear… wearing _armor,_ blushes, and asks Byleth if she thinks it’s cute. Byleth just takes the bear from Edelgard and takes it to the cash register, _I’m_ buying. She pretends she doesn’t see the glee in Edelgard’s eyes as she leaves the store clutching the bag in her arms.

Edelgard somehow feels like a _normal_ couple, as Byleth doesn’t set anything on fire, puts a curse on someone, brings a swarm of rats to harass her for whatever reason. She’s just there, walking with El, corporeal, holding her hand and swinging it as they walk down the street. Edelgard is asking her what she wants to go get for lunch? There’s a new café that she’s been dying to try out that's out on the water. Byleth chuckles, isn’t it a little too cold for outside lunch dates? Edelgard hits her shoulder, tells her that its an inside venue on the water. Jeez, Byleth.

They sit in the restaurant like those obnoxious couples that like to sit on the same side of the booth. Edelgard scoffs, she never thought she would be the one. Byleth plays footsie with her under the table and she just smiles. They steal food off one another plates, feed one another, and are the most disgusting thing that’s graced the restaurants patronage that day. Their waiter visibly gags at the two of them when he drops his check and Byleth slides her Black Amex card back at him. The waiter rolls his eyes when he takes away the check. Edelgard raises her eyebrows— _how in the world do you have one of those?_ Byleth chuckles, I’m not telling.

There’s an arcade near the café. Edelgard’s no good at video games, but Byleth seems to slaughter anything she comes across. Most be the whole—I’m a demon so I’m good at everything—thing. She wins Edelgard something else, a devil teddy bear with the words, _too hot to handle,_ carved into its little teddy bear stomach— _aww, it kind of looks like me._ Edelgard begrudgingly takes the disturbing bear from her.

The sun sets, Edelgard starts to get cold. Byleth grabs her small-gloved hand in her own, swinging back and forth again, setting off to find the nearest train station so that they can catch the train home.

Edelgard leaves Byleth at home the next day—she’s up at 6AM for a particularly early and asinine class and Byleth doesn’t want to leave the warmth of the bed to go with her. Edelgard leaves the room— _can you lock the door for me?_ Byleth sleepily kisses her goodbye at the door and slaps Edelgard’s ass again, as she runs for the elevator that’s almost closing on her when she ran back to her apartment door to quickly kiss Byleth. When she closes the door, she frowns—this place is a _wreck_. When did Hubert and Edelgard have any time to clean this place? They didn’t. Between Edelgard’s two jobs and full time work as a graduate student and Hubert… being _Hubert_ , no one really had time to do much of anything.

Byleth goes back to sleep for a little while, wakes up again at 9AM to a text from Edelgard about— _what should we have for dinner tonight?_ Byleth wants to respond, _you_ , so she suggests something vaguely sexual. Taco stuffed peppers? Edelgard asks her to get some ingredients; she’ll start cooking when she comes home tonight. Byleth scoffs, Edelgard will cook? No, she’d be _happy_ to play the demon housewife today while El was off getting her big brain orgasm from her lectures. Edelgard isn’t even going to ask her what she means by that and that all she asks is that she _doesn’t_ set the apartment building on _fire_. Byleth can grant that simple request.

Byleth puts on an apron—black, duh—conjures up six demon helpers and puts them to work. She’s like the demonic version of Cinderella. She cleans the entire apartment—except Hubert’s room—she can feel the weird vibes radiating off of that place and doesn’t want to go anywhere near them. Hubert, a good man, albeit a weird one. She vacuums El’s room, organizes her art supplies the best she can, changes the sheets, puts away the leftover laundry, pretends she doesn’t find a horde of diaries stashed at the bottom of one of her junk drawers— _idiot, you’ve already poked your head into enough of her secrets by now, don’t you think?_ The cleaning of the living room, kitchen, bathroom and other shared areas follow in the same manner and Byleth is collapsing on the couch at around 4PM, actually _tired_ from all the scrubbing and scraping and washing and sweeping. But the house smells _fresh_. She’s happy, El’s going to be _happy_.

Edelgard comes in through the door of the apartment, bag of groceries on one arm, a package under another, and her book bag breaking her back. Byleth is quick to have her _adorable_ demon helpers take El’s belongings off and carry them where they need to be. Edelgard just kind of stares at them fluttering off, looks at Byleth in her black apron and bandana and doesn’t even ask. Looks like she cleaned the apartment while she was gone. _Thank you_.

Things are kind of back to normal again that night. In the darkness of Edelgard’s bedroom. Byleth pulls Edelgard on top of her face, nearly losing it from the sight of the girl above her and looking down at Byleth with the most innocent of looks. She doesn’t understand _. What’s wrong? Do you not want to do this?_ She seemed receptive. It’s just that the way you stare at me... it’s kind of hard to...

 _It’s not me is it?_ Byleth is pretty damn sure it _isn’t_ her from the first time they did this and Edelgard was on the receiving end. Byleth takes a stab at things, closes her eyes. _Would you feel better if I didn’t look for now?_ She feels the weight above her relax a little, Edelgard makes a soft mewling sound and Byleth slaps a hand on her ass. At the end of the night, Byleth’s face is messy, Edelgard is trying to catch her breath when she reaches for her again and Edelgard slaps her away. _What are you_ doing _? I need a break!_

Hm. They still needed to talk.

They go to the museum the next day for an assignment that Edelgard has to do. She lets her know that Claude came and got her painting, by the way. It should be in her office, waiting for her when she decides to return to Hell. Byleth kind of just sits there, watching Edelgard run around from room to room taking pictures of things and making notes. They return home, eat dinner, and Byleth entertains herself with reality trash while Edelgard is in her bedroom working like the diligent little student she is. Byleth carries her to bed when she finds her passed out over her textbook.

They go to yoga the next day. Byleth spends most of her time staring at Edelgard’s ass in downward dog.

Play chess in the afternoon, Edelgard finally wins— _twice_ in fact.

Claude pops into the apartment while Byleth has got Edelgard pinned under her on the couch; hand in her jeans and whispering absolute _filth_ into Edelgard’s ear. Hm, looks like she found one of her kinks. Edelgard has her eyes closed and nearly screams as a— _whoops, I’ll come back later—_ interrupts the moment. She pushes Byleth off of her and runs for her room, slamming the door. Byleth is nearly breathing fire at him to _get the_ ** _fuck_** _out of here you idiot!_

After everyone’s calmed down and mostly unharmed—Claude mourns the singed bit of his hair that just won’t stay down—they go out to a bar and sit around. Claude chuckles at the two of them, he can _see_ you holding her hand underneath the bar, Byleth. Byleth wants to murder him from disturbing them from before. Edelgard is still embarrassed. They make amends over pool. Byleth kicks his ass, Claude tells her good game, Edelgard gets horny over watching Byleth lean down to shoot those damn balls all over the table.

Dorothea drunkenly joins the party via text—it’s been a hard day, can we get a drink? She shows up at the bar, somewhat already drunk. Or maybe it’s high. She’s inebriated either way. Byleth’s got her hand over Edelgard’s on the table. Dorothea is _enthralled._ How in the world did that happen? Edelgard says something like, _when I started giving into temptation, that’s when life got interesting._ Byleth grins, fire in her eyes. _Oh,_ she was going to show her temptation all right.

As Friday approaches, Byleth starts plotting sassy revenge fantasies. How should she do this? Chainsaw? Nah, too messy and loud. Baseball bat? Slow, too slow. Gunshot? Too cliché. A dagger? Oooh, that could work. The real fun would start when she finally got Volkhard’s soul in Hell, but who says she couldn’t have a _little_ bit of joy on Earth while she was killing him?

But… before she goes killing anyone… she should talk to El about it shouldn’t she? She _had_ told her if someone hurt her again that Byleth was obligated to protect her. But this was past; those rules didn’t quite apply anymore. Did they? Byleth didn’t fucking care. She was past that. No one said her mind was rational when it came to Edelgard. Just look at what she’d been doing trying to find her for the past hundred years.

Either way, the safety and happiness of quasi-domestication would have to end some time. Byleth languishes in the feeling of what finally feels like a _vacation_ from all the shit that’s been happening over the past few months. Edelgard however is starting to get more agitated. She can feel it, see it. The sun sets on Thursday and Edelgard is tossing and turning in bed. Byleth tries to help—would you like for me to give you another take out? You know, let’s eat out. _No_. Okay, okay. Byleth spends the night watching the furrows on Edelgard’s forehead grow deeper as dawn approaches.

Friday was here.

 _Shit_.

—

It’s Friday afternoon, and Byleth is trying to distract Edelgard from the fuckery that lies ahead waiting for them that night. Edelgard’s finally home from school and they have to get ready soon, but Byleth has other plans. She wants Edelgard to _relax._ Allow her to be the attentive little mischievous demon she prides her on being. Edelgard doesn’t need much coaxing.

So she’s _finally_ got Edelgard’s legs up over her shoulders where she wants them, fingers pressed inside her, the lights off because that’s the only way Edelgard’s going to relax. Byleth frowns, she seems distracted. Is Edelgard even enjoying this at this point? _Of course she’s distracted idiot, she’s going to be stuck in a fucking house with Anselma and …_ would _he_ be there to?

“ _Stop_.” Edelgard groans, pushing herself up from the pillow and Byleth respects the boundary immediately and moves back, “This isn’t working. My mind is somewhere else.”

“That’s okay.” Byleth removes her fingers and sighs, feeling slightly inadequate. She just wanted her to be _happy_ and coming her brains out before they went. Oh well, she could taste her on her hand instead. “I guess we should get ready.” She sucks on a finger and pauses. _Huh?_

“Yeah…” Edelgard leans over to turn the light on and start looking for her panties.

Byleth’s eyebrows shoot up as she looks at her hand in the light and she looks up at Edelgard, “Uhm… El…”

“ _What_?” Edelgard grumbles as she finally locates her panties crumpled in the corner of the bed. She turns back to look at Byleth who’s holding her hand out in front of her. That’s… “Of all the _fucking_ days!” She grumbles as she gets out of bed and starts walking off toward the bathroom.

“Ah… I’ll just… let you go take care of that.” Byleth mutters as she watches Edelgard angrily retreat out of the bedroom and looks around for a tissue to wipe her hands off. She looks at the bed. Oh… there was a tiny bit of blood on those white sheets. Fuck.

Edelgard comes back, frowning. “I didn’t even feel it … _why_ is it so fucking early?”

“Stress? I’ve been trying to keep that down with the daily eating out—if you catch my drift—“ She wiggles her eyebrows and Edelgard rolls her eyes, “I mean, I earned my red wings already a _long_ time ago if you're worried about that.”

Edelgard looks at her, “What the _hell_ is that?”

“You _know_. Enjoying your lady when she’s surfing the crimson tide. My old girl was into tons of crazy shit.” Byleth starts giggling. Edelgard doesn’t know that she’s talking about _her_ and all the crazy shit they used to do in ye olden times. “I mean, I don’t mind if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s not really _my_ thing, but we can make it _our_ thing.”

“Byleth.” Edelgard grumbles as she chucks her dirty laundry into the hamper in her closet, “Not _now_.”

“Okay. _Okay_.” Byleth holds up her hands in the face of menstrual rage, “It’s okay. Just a little hiccup. You’re gonna be calm. And happy. And I’m gonna be right there to make sure if anyone fucks with you, they’ll get fucked up instead.”

Edelgard glares at her and doesn’t reply. Byleth gets off the bed and gets dressed herself. Should just… keep quiet, By. She’s already pissed off enough. Don’t wanna be sleeping on the couch tonight, do you? They leave the apartment and head for the train station. Anselma lived on the outskirts of the city, about a two-hour train ride from where Edelgard resided near the heart. Byleth is all smiles while Edelgard continues to frown at her side. _Girl, you gone be fine._ Edelgard just glares at her again.

Byleth ponders using some magical calm down juju, but decides against it. She remembers what happened the _last_ time she did that. They had just made up and she was enjoying the regularly scheduled sex with Edelgard. Didn’t wanna fuck that up again, no, no.

It’s dark when they get to the suburbs. Edelgard holds her hand the entire way, quiet and … her mind blank. Byleth continues to ramble on about stupid shit. Is it working? She isn’t sure.

“You’ll be there the entire night, right?” Edelgard finally asks her, pausing in stride.

“El, of _course_. I’m not going anywhere. Even if Luc comes up here and tries to pull me back down to Hell.” Byleth promises, leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek, “Now, please. Continue so we can get this stupid shit over with and I can get you back home and give you tummy rubs or something to help with those cramps.”

Edelgard snorts, “You know. I remember you being squicked out about blood before. Why the sudden change? You had it all over your hand.”

“Ah… that was just … you were talking too much.” Byleth replies, swinging their hands again. “Human female … things are natural or whatever. Besides, maybe I did have _guy_ brain like you said. I’m a lot more …empathetic as a girl, I guess?”

Edelgard snickers again, “I don’t get you sometimes.”

“Neither do I.” Byleth grins herself.

Edelgard pauses and nods her head toward a brick house that looms in the distance. The porch light is on. They’re expecting her. “This is it.”

Byleth lets their hands go and looks at Edelgard, “Ya ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Edelgard mutters and starts walking ahead of her. In a brief afterthought, she turns around, “…Are you … in your invisible realm or whatever?”

“Have been since we got off the train.”

“So I looked like a lunatic, walking down here and swinging my arms around in the dark?” Edelgard questions, “Never _mind_ , let’s get this over with.”

As she pauses before the door, Byleth does an exaggerated inhale and exhale behind her, “ _Relax_.”

Edelgard rings the doorbell, knocks on the door and waits a minute. Shuffling. A light pours out as it opens and there’s Dimitri. He smiles softly at her, “Edelgard.”

“Dimitri.” She responds.

He steps to the side, “Come in, everyone’s waiting for you so we can start.”

Edelgard frowns a little at his wording— _Everyone_?—but steps through regardless and follows him into the house. Dimitri closes the door behind her and Byleth wanders in as the door closes on her face. _Rude,_ she mutters to herself. As Edelgard is wandering off with Dimitri, Byleth takes a chance to be nosey and observe the foyer she finds herself standing in. Upper class, gross, fake. She wrinkles her nose and continues on to follow the sound of Edelgard’s voice. Edelgard and Dimitri have paused in another hallway to talk about something.

“So… who’s this unkempt looking fellow? Is… this Dimitri?” Byleth asks as she walks up beside Edelgard.

_“Yes, this is my stepbrother. And, shh, be nice. He just got out of rehab for drug addiction, you know that. He’s going through a lot right now.”_

“I’m going through a lot right now just by looking at him.” Byleth mutters.

Dimitri motions for her to follow him. They were getting to the dining room now… other voices were echoing down the hallway, “I’m glad you could make it? Any trouble?”

Edelgard shakes her head, “No. The train ride out here was a little longer than I anticipated, but … it was fine.”

Dimitri nods, “That’s good. It won’t be too much trouble for you to get home will it?” He asks, “I don’t want you traveling so far so late.”

Edelgard waves away his concern, “I have a friend coming to pick me up. Don’t worry about it, I’ll be safe.”

“That’s good… that’s…” He stops for a minute. His eyes flicker over to a spot over Edelgard’s shoulder and Byleth bristles slightly.

 _“El, we’re gonna have to be careful tonight.”_ She tries ducking behind Edelgard but she can still feel Dimitri’s eyes pointed in her direction.

“ _What do you mean_?” She can feel Byleth hiding, “ _What in the world are you_ doing _?”_

“ _He can see me.”_ Byleth, dipping slowly into the floor and into Edelgard’s shadow, _“…Pretty damn well actually. I’m not even entirely sure how I’m registering in front of him right now. I’m… gonna hide in your shadow for awhile, okay? I can still hear what’s going on. Just... mind your shadow around him, will you?”_

Edelgard sighs, already under enough stress as it is. She gestures toward Dimitri, “You were saying?”

Dimitri looks down at the floor and blinks again. How odd. He thought there was something there. Something… _dark_ hanging over Edelgard’s shoulder. He shakes his head, “Nevermind. Come.”

Edelgard’s heartbeat is in her ears as she enters the dining room and tries to prepare herself for what she’s about to be met with. Her mother is there, cigarette in hand and laughing at something Lambert is saying. She scans the place settings on the table. One, two… four … _five._ Her stomach drops and Byleth pokes her head out from the floor.

 _“Edelgard. You’re going to be fine.”_ Byleth reminds her, “ _Keep going_.”

Anselma looks up, finally seeing her daughter in the archway of the dining room, “Well it’s about _time_ my daughter show her pretty face to the world.” She taps her cigarette out and brings it up to her over lined, red lips.

Edelgard wants to throw up from the false flattery. She was probably drunk already. Dimitri gestures to the seat beside him, opposite Anselma and Lambert and Edelgard sits down. “I’m sorry. It takes a while to get out here. You know that.”

“Is that why you don’t _visit_ anymore?” Anselma asks, “Too _long_ of a ride?”

“Now, now, Anselma.” Lambert pats her on the hand, trying to placatae the tension between daughter and mother, “Just be happy that Edelgard is finally here and we can start dinner. It’s _good_ to see family, no matter the occasion.”

“I suppose so.” Anselma mutters, finally stabbing her cigarette out, “Dimitri can you go get Volkhard from outside? Honestly, I have no idea who would willing go out into that mess as cold as it is tonight.”

At the sound of that _name_ , Byleth crawls out from the floor and comes to settle down under the table in front of Edelgard’s legs. Edelgard glances down at her and she winks, while making a shushing moment with her finger over her lips. _“I’m right here. Remember that, okay? I’ll be doing stupid stuff down here all night if you need me to. Oh, why don’t I strike up a chess game down here for us to play? You can zone out on that if you need to.”_ She leans forward, rubbing her face against Edelgard’s legs, “ _Or I can just … you know, grope you from under the table. Maybe play footsies.”_

 _“While I appreciate the sentiment, Byleth, that’s …”_ Edelgard tries to kick at her so she would stop. It was helping. A _little_. _“Stop rubbing me like a feral cat.”_

 _“Why? You used to think I_ was _one. Why not act the part?”_

The door to the porch leading outside opens and closes and a male voice enters the vicinity, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m…” He looks at Edelgard, “…Well, _look_ , who’s here.”

Edelgard inhales deeply, feels Byleth massaging her calf muscle. She looks Volkhard straight in the eye, “Hello, uncle.”

Volkhard slides into the table, opposite her at the last place sitting and smiles, “ _Edelgard_. How good of you to join us for this family occasion. Why, when I heard you were coming to a family dinner for once, I _jumped_ at the chance— _OW,_ what in the hell was that?”

Something thumps from under the table and Edelgard can see that Byleth has disappeared for a moment. She comes back, blinks two innocent eyes at Edelgard and resumes the massaging of her calf muscle, _“I bit him. I’ll do a lot more later if that bastard keeps it up.”_

Edelgard has to contain her laughter, “Oh… are you okay?”

“Blasted.” He shakes his leg out, “Must be some type of muscle cramp.”

“I keep telling you to go to the doctor, but, no.” Anselma rolls her eyes.

“At any rate…” Dimitri clears his throat, “If everyone is ready… can we begin?”

“Yes.” Lambert sighs, trying to prepare himself for what seems like a night of drama, “ _Please_.”

—

Edelgard had to excuse herself halfway into dinner for some _air._

It was a fucking disaster, just like she thought it would be. Wasn’t this supposed to be Dimtri’s welcome back home dinner? A celebration of his sobriety? Combatting an illness that most people just scoffed and kicked by the wayside? Why were they being so _horrible_ tonight?

From her mother and her comments about Edelgard’s manner of dress— _Why do you look like one of those queers tonight? That flannel? Those black jeans? What ever happened to all those beautiful clothes I used to buy for you and you let go to waste? And are you minding your figure? You're looking a little puffy in the face since the last time I saw you._

Dimitri and his silence. Lambert and his resignation to just watch this shitshow unfold in his house. He knew why Edelgard stayed away. In return, Edelgard always wondered why he _stayed_ married to her mother. Things were good when Edelgard wasn’t there. Anselma was … a _woman_ with a mind, he had said before. But when it came to her daughter… she was a feral beast that never knew when she was taking things too far. He had hoped that they could mend their relationship, but after ten years of marriage, not much had changed.

And then … then there was her uncle. He kept leering at her from across the table. Making those _comments_. Being absolutely repulsive in front of everyone and laughing about it—laughing while she lowered her eyes to her plate and pushed her food around. She’s pretty sure Byleth’s attacked him a couple of more times under the table. He was always flinching in pain for some reason or another. But that doesn’t matter. That _really_ doesn’t matter in this moment.

Edelgard is standing outside, watching her breath turn white. She looks up at the sky. Nothing. No stars, no moon, empty.

Seeing as they’re alone, Byleth chances popping out of her shadow to talk to her. “How ya holding up, babe?” She asks cheerfully, coming to sit on the railing of the porch, “I’ve been waging war for _you_. I hope you noticed. Hope you’re getting all hot and bothered under that collar for when we return home and I _wage war_ in _bed_.”

Edelgard wishes she could smile. Byleth was trying so _hard_ to cheer her up. She sighs, “I think I’m going to leave soon. I’m ... getting tired of this.”

“Would probably be for the best.” Byleth encourages, “I’m getting dizzy in your shadow. Tired of listening to Anselma bitch. Dimitri’s cool though... besides the whole being able to sense me thing. And I wanted to be _sneaky_ tonight.” She’s trying to keep the mood light knowing the duress that Edelgard was under.

“Why are they … why are they so _mean_ to me?” Edelgard asks, looking at Byleth, “Just what did I _do_?”

Byleth hops down off the railing and walks over to Edelgard to give her a tight squeeze, “I don’t know, El. Maybe its because you got out? They’re unhappy people. Unhappy people don't like it when there’s someone shining in their midst. And you have _shine._ Blinds me all the fucking time.”

Edelgard can’t help but to start chuckling, “…You’re really trying hard tonight… aren’t you?”

Byleth shrugs, plants a quick kiss to her lips, “Someone has to.”

Edelgard sighs as she pulls away from Byleth. It’s getting cold and this flannel shirt doesn’t offer much protection from the elements. “…I should go back in and find some way to excuse myself…”

“Want me to set something on fire?” Byleth asks.

“Possibly. But, that would do only for a minute.” Edelgard muses.

However, her musings of how to escape the situation is cut short by the voice that leaks poison from behind her. “So _this_ is where you ran off to. Isn’t it a little _cold_ to be out here in that … state of dress of yours?”

Edelgard feels her shoulders go up to her ears at the sound of a his voice. That voice. How she _hates_ that voice. She’s been listening to it all night it still makes her feel queasy inside. Byleth turns her attention away from Edelgard and starts growling. _Easy, Byleth. Keep the demon killing crap to a minimum in her presence. You know how she gets._

Volkhard proceeds to light a cigarette, not even waiting for Edelgard to answer him, “Your mother tells me you recently had some type of gallery opening? An exhibition. _Edelgard_ , a shame you didn’t invite me as well. I would have loved to come. You know that.” He blows smoke in her direction.

Byleth looks down at her, “ _El_. Say the word and I’m yours.”

 _“It’s okay. He hasn’t done anything…”_ Edelgard hasn’t turned around yet.

“ _Yet_.” Byleth snarls, walking away from Edelgard and over to Volkhard, circling him as if he were prey.

Edelgard turns around, “Yeah. I did.” Her reply is short and curt.

“Would have loved to see you in that _red dress_ your mother said was so scandalous. Showing a bit of skin for the _men_ , hm? What about some for _me_?” Volkhard laughs at her discomfort.

Edelgard steps over from the railing and walks over closer to where Byleth is, “I’m sure you would have.” She mutters under her breath. “Please, leave me _alone_.”

“Are you leaving so soon?” Volkhard asks, turning around to look at her as she walks toward the door, “You know, you should stay the night, too. Been drinking, too far for me to go driving this late at night. Too late for a beautiful young _lady_ such as yourself to travel by herself at night. We could have … _fun_ again, you know.” He chuckles, takes a step toward her. Disgusting.

With some resolve, Edelgard finally turns to look at the man that had fucked up her life for so many years, “Why do you still _do_ this? Why do you think any of this is _funny_?” She asks as she turns away from him, “You got away with everything that you did to me, what more do you _want_? My mother doesn’t believe me. No one thinks what I told them is _truth._ ”

Byleth feels somewhat pained to hear those words leave Edelgard’s mouth. _I_ believe you, El.

Volkhard laughs at that confession. “Why do you expect them to? You were such a horrible child and look at you now. The very same. Garnering nothing but contempt.”

Edelgard shakes her head, “It’s just always so _funny_ … isn’t it?”

“Ah, yes. _Fun_. Remember when we used to have fun? We’d go into your room and play hide and go seek... and remember what happened when I _found_ you?” He walks forward with the intent of putting his arm around her and finds himself halted. Something is holding his wrist and squeezing so hard that it fucking _cracks._ He lets out a gasp as he finds his wrist dented at the side and hanging in a way it shouldn’t be. _What the fuck was happening tonight?_

In Edelgard’s world, Byleth currently has her hand tightly gripping on and _crushing_ Volkhard’s wrist, staring him down even though he can’t see _her._ Her eyes are _red_. Byleth nods her head silently back toward the house. Edelgard should go inside, she remembers how she got the last time she witnessed Byleth resort to violence of any sort. With a pained breath, Edelgard leaves the two of them standing outside. She doesn’t want to see, hear, or think anymore of this.

She feels like a child again, searching for some type of escape from this madness.

—

Edelgard slams the bathroom door shut behind her, her back sliding along its length and tries to still her breathing. Byleth pops up halfway from the floor— _how did she get there?—_ looks around and then comes into full view. Seeing Edelgard on the verge of a panic attack on the floor, she crouches down and sits in front of her.

“Hey, _hey._ Remember that time I told you I could help with breathing exercises? Come on. In through the nose, out through the mouth.” Byleth places both of her hands on Edelgard’s face, turning the other woman to look her in the eyes, “In.... out.”

Edelgard closes her eyes and tries to do as Byleth suggests. She feels like she’s underwater, the world is careening. She can’t find her footing. Her heartbeat won’t stop thumping in her ears.

“You with me, El?” Byleth asks when her breathing returns to a semi-normal speed.

Edelgard blinks. Her voice comes out weak and small. “I thought I was _over_ this.”

“It’s trauma, Edelgard. It’s unpredictable.”

“It’s almost as if I’m six again...” Edelgard continues again, as if she’s not listening to a thing that Byleth says.

“Hey. _Nope_. We’re not gonna have flashbacks right now either.” Byleth reaches forward and wraps her arms around Edelgard’s arms to pull her to her feet. “ _We’re_ gonna make our exit and get you out of here.”

Edelgard can barely stand, rests all her weight on Byleth. She’s not listening. She’s lost somewhere in the past right now. Hearing things, feeling things, reliving things she thought she had long since buried. She blinks once, twice, takes a shaky exhales. Byleth saw tears, and she also saw red again.

“I ... want to _go_.” Edelgard closes her eyes, a single tear falling down her cheek as she turns away from Byleth. “I just want to go _home_. I just... they just ...”

“Fuck them. Fuck your mother. Fuck that _sick fuck_ that calls himself your uncle.” Byleth starts, “Do you want me to make a distraction? Do you want to me to summon a frying pan to beat the shit out of—“

“ _Please_ , Byleth. Do _something_. Anything to get me away from this place.” Her voice goes up an octave, “I should have _never_ come to begin with.”

Byleth is silent for a minute. She could do _something_. But she had to make sure of something first. “Listen, Edelgard. I’ve been thinking. Of something for a long time in regards to this. And to be honest, considering how things went, I wasn’t so far off from doing it tonight...”

Edelgard looks up at her, silent. Would Byleth really... would she _really_ ...

Byleth continues, “I’ll ... I’ll do it tonight. If that’s what _you_ want. But, I _don’t_ want you to be around for it. Don’t want you to worry about it.” She says, “I think you already know what that thing _is._ But before I do it... I need _your_ permission. Will you let me do this? Will you let me _help you_ put this to rest?”

Edelgard takes a moment. Doesn’t have to think about it all that much. But the repercussions? She doesn’t think there are any. Yeah... _yeah_. She was tired. She was tired of being abused for simply _existing_ at this point. She just nods to Byleth, her voice sounding small. “I... I permit you to.” Make him suffer, _please_ , Byleth. Please, just _end_ this already.

Byleth thinks for a moment. Even if she _did_ kill him, he could possibly be up for reincarnation. Fuck. She should have checked his files while in Purgatory just to make sure. She sighs, “...Even if I do, I just want you to know that he might come back... I don’t know if Fate...”

“ _Please._ Just do it Byleth.” Edelgard pleads. She covers her face with her hands, “I can’t take this anymore.”

The sound of her pleading is all the encouragement that Byleth needs. They’d just have to roll the dice and see where this led. “Great.” Byleth leans forward, tries to kiss the tears away on her face, “Don’t you worry your pretty little face, I'll get Claude setting something up just in case.” She looks over her shoulder, “I’m gonna go around, pull up out front with the bike. Just keep your phone near you. Stay in here until I give you the signal, okay?”

Edelgard nods, wiping under her eyes. She watches Byleth open the latch the the window, turn around to blow her a kiss, which makes her giggle slightly through her tears, and she drops out the window. She sniffs again when there’s a knock on the bathroom door. “Who… who is it?”

“It’s me.” Dimitri’s muffled voice comes from the other side of the door, “…Are you okay in there? I thought I heard voices… are you on the phone?”

“Yeah, I was … my friend who’s coming to pick me up is going to be here soon. I was just … letting her know that I’m ready.” Edelgard looks at herself in the mirror, grabs a tissue and blows her nose, “I’m fine, Dimitri.”

“You don’t sound like it.”

Edelgard goes to open the door just a crack and looks at Dimitri, “…I’m just. I’ve had enough. I’m going home.”

Dimitri looks over his shoulder and then lowers his voice, “It’s true, isn’t it? Your uncle. You weren’t lying about it, were you?”

Edelgard just shakes her head, “It’s in the past, Dimitri. Can’t do much about it now, can I? Not like anyone in this family believes me.”

“I believe you.” Dimitri counters her statement, “I’ve _always_ believed you. …Depraved bastard.”

“Yeah…” Edelgard says, just looking at the floor and not knowing entirely sure what to say.

Dimitri looks up at her, “He’ll receive his punishment, Edelgard. It may not be today, or tomorrow, or even years from now. But he _will_ be punished for all of the sickness he embodies.”

Oh, little did he know, it was going to happen _tonight._

The doorbell rings and they both look at each other when Anselma’s voice floats from downstairs— _who_ are _you?_ Edelgard perks up and winces. _Shit,_ Byleth. She almost forgot. She excuses herself from her conversation with Dimitri and tells him that she would be in touch later. He hugs her, long and tight— _please,_ continue to be the wonderful person you’ve always been, Edelgard. She thanks him, continues on her way. She reaches the stairwell and she can hear Byleth’s voice at the front door. What in the world was she doing?

“…Edelgard’s friend from school! She said she needed a ride.” Byleth is talking to Anselma who is sneering down at her, “So I’m here to pick her up!” Byleth catches Edelgard slowly descending the stairs, _“Come on, El. I got a hot ride waiting out front. Your prince has arrived_.”

Edelgard blinks her tear stained eyes and smiles. This stupid woman. This _demon._ How could she have deserved this? Edelgard wipes her face and continues her descent down the stairs, “Oh. Byca. You’re _here_.”

Anselma turns around, disgust all over her features, “Edelgard. Who is this cretin who has _shown_ up at my house with a _motorcycle_ of all things?”

Edelgard doesn’t bother to respond as she grabs her coat and bag that’s hanging by the door and begins putting them on. She walks by Anselma who hisses again at her. “Goodnight, mother. It’s been lovely. I have to go.”

“ _Edelgard_.”

“I’m _going_ mother.”

“No, you’re not.” Anselma makes a move like she’s about to close the door on Edelgard, locking her back into this house of horrors.

Byleth’s boot in the door is the thing that stops it from closing, “Wow. I’m not trying to be _rude_ or anything. But, Edelgard sounded like she _really_ wanted to go home.”

Anselma turns back to look at this offensive creature that _dared_ to show her face at her home for the night, “ _Excuse_ me?” She pushes the door back at Byleth’s foot, but Byleth pushes back to knock it back open.

Edelgard takes the chance to push her way past Anselma and hop out the house. “ _Goodnight!”_ She yells as she hops down the stairs and away from her mother’s grasp.

“Edelgard, if you don’t get your _ass_ back in this house right now, instead of running off with this deplorable looking—“

“Fuck _you_ , she’s my _girlfriend_!” Edelgard sneers turning to look back at her. Byleth turns around as well, follows after her in glee. _Good job, El._

Anselma’s eyes widen. Her daughter was engaging in _lesbian_ trysts now? What in the world had this art school bullshit done to her? “Edelgard! _Edelgard_. I swear if you leave this house right now your ass _won’t_ be welcomed back. I’ll leave you to rot in your stupid fanciful—“

Edelgard doesn’t care as Byleth reaches an arm around her waist and cheerfully waves to Anselma, “I don’t _care!”_ She yells back as they approach the bike.

“Don’t care? You’ve never cared you selfish, spoiled brat! If your father could _see_ you now.” Anselma is livid, “You can _forget_ about your inheritance!”

Words wasted, she gets on the back of Byleth’s bike as Byleth happily helps her put on the helmet. _I got red for you_ , _do you like it?_ Edelgard doesn't respond, leans back so Byleth can get on in front of her. As Byleth revs the bike once, she flips open her visor, “It was nice meeting you!” She calls out, before kicking the bike in gear and taking off into the night, Edelgard clutching her from behind.

—

Hubert is up in the living room, takes in the sight of Edelgard, the demon at her side and knows shit hit the fan tonight. Edelgard’s face is blotchy and it’s not from the cold raging outside right now. He looks to Byleth when he sees that Edelgard won’t even say hello when she walks past him.

“…What happened tonight?” Hubert asks, looking up from his book as Byleth ushers Edelgard forward, hand on the back of her waist, “Edelgard, are you okay?” She doesn’t even look his way as he calls her name.

“Nothing that I can’t fix.” Byleth tells him, “Gonna let her get some rest, hm?”

Hubert eyes Byleth, watches Edelgard disappear into her room and lowers his voice, “Was Volkhard there tonight?”

Byleth nods her head, “…Yeah. He was.”

“…I won’t ask any further.” Hubert nods, understanding what the situation is, “Go on, demon. Go cheer her up with… _whatever_ it is you’re doing to her now that she seems to enjoy so much.”

Byleth smiles, pauses at the doorway, “I knew I _liked_ you, Hubert.” And then she closes it.

When Byleth turns back around, she sees Edelgard is on her bed, staring at the floor. Byleth takes in the sight of her and sighs. Well, guess it was _on_ tonight then. She helps her get out of her clothes; she’s a borderline unresponsive mess. _Let’s find you some cute pajamas to wear… wait, no, not a good idea. Wanna wear the clothes I was wearing last night? They’re black. And … smell like me. …I know you’re not into the whole smelling thing, but **I** am._ Her attempt at conversation gets no response. Okay, cool. Edelgard was doing the whole disassociation thing right now.

She helps her get dressed, pushes her down into bed, and pulls the sheets over her. Byleth pauses as she looks around for something. _Aha_. She pulls a stuffed animal from Edelgard’s collection, the most demonic and evil looking one she can find. The one _she_ got her. _Here, snuggle that until I come back and pretend it’s me_. She also puts the armored teddy bear by Edelgard’s head. _Pretend it’s the frying pan._ I won’t be long, I promise.

Edelgard finally looks at her, perhaps coming back from the past, as she dims the lights and prepares for her departure back to Anselma’s house. “…Are you going to be okay doing this?”

Byleth waves a hand nonchalantly, “It’s for you, right? Of _course_ I am.”

Edelgard nods her head, “Just… be safe.” She presses her face into the fur of the devilish teddy bear, “…Will you be gone long?”

“Hmmm…” Byleth crosses her legs, “I have a couple of things planned. I might not be back until sunrise, though. You okay with that?”

Edelgard nods silently, “Just. Go do it.” _Go kill him already_.

Byleth gets to her feet, leans down to move the teddy bear from Edelgard’s face. She kisses her slow and gently, gives her a quick pat on the face. “Be back soon. Get some sleep.” And disappears in a cloud of black smoke.

—

Byleth rises from the ground into the darkness of the foyer in Anselma’s house. Empty, quiet. Everyone surely had to be asleep by now. She walks her way through the living room, pausing in the darkness to gaze at the portrait that hangs over the fireplace in the center of the room. Lambert, Anselma, Dimitri, all smiling, and … a teenage Edelgard—lavender eyes looking lifeless, her mouth turned down in a dismissive frown. Don’t worry, babe. She takes a minute to register where she is, sniffs the air— _upstairs_.

Byleth starts whistling to herself as she walks up the stairs in an almost comical fashion. She pockets her hands into her leather jacket, taking almost to little interest in the pictures that litter the way up—unless they’re of El of course— _oh, what a cute and chubby baby she was_.

She pauses at the landing and stops whistling, sniffs at the air again. Ah, the pungent, disgusting, stench was driving her left. Byleth resumes her whistling, running her finger along an end table covered with plants in the hallway. Horrible decorating sense, Anselma.

She stops momentarily at the sound of a thump coming from the other side of the hallway and turns over her shoulder. Another thump, more rhythmic this time. Anselma’s voice— _Oh, Lambert! YOU ARE A KING_. Byleth wrinkles her nose in disgust. Horrifying. She was already about to deal with filth, she didn’t need anymore horror fodder for the night. Shrugging her shoulders, she turns back around and resumes her way down the hallway.

As she comes to the end of the hallway, she pauses. Hm. Ah, Dimitri in the right. Shitbag in the left. Whistles again, places a hand on the knob and turns it to let herself inside. Inside Volkhard is passed out on his bed, a bottle of Jack Daniels on the night stand and an ashtray full of cigarettes next to it. Byleth closes the door with her foot and slowly makes her way over to the bed and pauses before it. She sighs, gleeful. Ah, look at this pathetic piece of shit so oblivious to inevitable demise. Well, here we _go._

She gets on the bed, crawling along the length of it until she reaches the snoring, sleeping body before her. Byleth cracks her neck from side to side, stretches out her back and sighs. _I hope this helps, El._ She removes the dagger at her hip, holds it in left hand and reaches forward with her right to grab hold of Volkhard’s neck, pressing down on his windpipe until her hand nearly turns white.

Volkhard startles to with an almost inhuman sound, trying to register what in the world was attacking him in his sleep right now. He tries to breath in, but it sounds rushed and uneven. His eyes register a figure on the bed in front of him, a woman, and blue hair in a leather jacket. Why are her eyes _so_ red? He jerks, tries to struggle in her grasp, his hands clawing at the singular one that has his neck pinned to his pillow.

“Shhh. Shh. _Shh_. Easy now. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, would they?” Byleth whispers as Volkhard’s legs thrash underneath her and he tries to jerk to the left. “Your sick ass said something similar to El once, didn’t you?”

He coughs. Is this a dream? No. It feels too real.

“Well. Anyway. I’ll leave introductions for later. You’ll be seeing me soon enough again, so what does it matter?” She flips the dagger around in her left hand, her right hand tightening around Volkhard’s neck as he jerks backwards, his legs flailing again, “Now, if you could _just_ stop struggling and enjoy the ride. I assure you, this is the best part… before your final destination."

The first strike comes through his shirt, piercing him in the chest. Byleth sighs. Not strong enough, come on, Byleth. You’re better than that. Retracts the knife, plunges it again. A tiny bit of blood splatters on her cheek. Okay, that’s better. Volkhard gasps desperately, body jerking again at the force of the stab. Byleth starts whistling again, retracts the knife, in, out, in, out. His sounds get weaker and weaker, Byleth giggles a little. This was _fun_. Too bad El couldn’t do it herself. _That’s_ why you’re doing it for her, _silly_.

With her next retraction of the dagger, Byleth wrinkles her nose. She’s getting blood on her jacket, _fuck_. This was going to be a bitch to get out. Should have worn different clothing. Volkhard eventually goes quiet, stops resisting, she still stabs him a couple of more times for good measure. When Volkhard’s sick gasps finally subside and the body goes limp she starts humming to herself. She removes a black cloth from her shorts, wipes the blood from the dagger and gives the hilt a little kiss. A gift, from El, hundreds of years ago. Still faithful to her in present day. How fitting that she could use it for such an important purpose.

Byleth shuffles off the bed, looks at the bottle of Jack Daniels. Why not a victory drink? She uncaps the alcohol, throws it back and then observes Volkhard before her. What a beautiful sight in front of her. And yet… she frowns a little. “Jeez… my make-this-scene-look-like-a-suicide-and-not-a-murder-scene has gotten _sloppy_.” Byleth mutters to herself.

She checks the time on the clock. Hm, not much time before she had to tend to her _other_ little part of this wonderful occasion. Byleth presses her hands _together—Please, Fate, let him end up in Hell._ With a clap of her hands, Byleth wanders over to the desk. 

She sets the bottle of alcohol down and rummages around for a piece of paper and pen. Hm… what type of note should she forge for this piece of shit? _I am a piece of shit. I deserved to die. Goodye, cruel world._ Nah. How she wishes she could, but she had to make this one look semi-convincing at least. Reluctantly she writes, _I am guilty of innumerous crimes, and have found that the weight of that burden has overtaken me. Forgive me for what I have chosen to do_. Perfect.

Byleth walks back over to the bed to drag Volkhard’s corpse into a more fitting position, and frowns when his limp body kinda just … slumps there. She _did_ just stab him to death. Oh well. She tosses the note onto the bed, conjures a fake dagger and takes another swig of alcohol. Eh, whatever. This would have to do. Byleth clasps her hands together and nods in satisfaction.

“Great! This looks perfect!” She sets the bottle down, caps it, “Well then. See ya in Hell, buddy. We’re gonna have a lot more _fun_ if you pop up down there.”

She pats him on the head and smiles. _A_ lot more fun. She blows a kiss to the body and saunters her way back out of the house, whistling along the way, a little more pep in her step.

Sometime later, Anselma awakens.

Wailing, sirens in the background.

—

Volkhard, somehow, realizes that he’s _dead_.

There was some person in a black cloak with a hood, pointing to a gateway. Shining, bright… were those angels singing? _Go_ , the voice is masculine. That … that has to be the voice of God, right? He’s going to Heaven after all. Oh, joy of... joys? As he approaches the gateway, he finds himself faced with heat and fire. Sounds of screaming, someone cackling in the distance. Oh wait a minute, _fuck._ Just as he looks behind him at the last scenes of his life—oh, Edelgard … delicious little Edelgard … and … who is this _blue_ haired woman with…

He doesn’t have time to register anything else because the person in the black cloak is pulling her hood back and looks perturbed. Wait a minute, it’s a _woman_. Brown skin and an afro—one of those _coloreds?_ Was this Death? What the _fuck?_ She’s raising her boot up, poised to kick him, “Get in there you racist, pedophilic fuck! I’ve got other deserving souls to attend to!”

Volkhard goes tumbling through the door and it slams shut behind him. He hits a few cliff edges on the way down and feels like he’s broken every bone in his … soul? He gets to his feet when he finally reaches the bottom and something is poking him in the rear end with something sharp and pointy.

“Get to it, scum. I got other pieces of shit to herd into line.” A demon with a pitchfork, “Line up! _Line up!_ Get in the fucking queue and stop dawdling ya pieces of _trash_.”

Oh, God. He was in _Hell_. Fire and brimstone. People screaming. The pitchforks. Demons and devils. Fuck. He gets into queue like the demon commands and notices that his hands are now bound with thick, black, heavy chains. The man in front of him is shaking. _I just fucked that chicken that one time, man. Honest. It was asking for it. Oh my fucking GOD._ A demon yells at him to stop crying, you _chicken fucker_ —there is no _God_ here.

He feels like he’s in line for _hours_ until he finally gets to the front of the line. An elderly demon who looks like he can barely see is presiding over a podium. His hand is shaking as he turns a page in a large thick tome. His glasses are almost falling off his face. He pushes them back up over his nose, “Let’s see here… what’s your name, sonny?”

Could this demon even _see_? Volkhard scoffs at the sight of him. Perhaps not realizing that defiance has no place in Hell, he is suddenly accosted by a beefy demon wearing a black hoodie and a backwards Yankees baseball cap. He sticks a gun to his head, “He asked for your name, _motherfucker_.” The gun cocks as he presses the barrel tighter to Volkhard’s temple, “Answer him, _bitch_.”

Volkhard takes a deep breath and sighs, “Volkhard von Arundel.”

“Ah, yes…” The old demon raises a shaky, wrinkly finger and presses it down on the book and continues in his old timey accent, “…Volkhard von Arundel. Charges are... my what a _long_ list. Crimes against a child in the acts of rape, incest, molestation, physical abuse, psychological torture, emotional manipulation, hate crimes against the disabled, people of color, those lovely homosexuals, pirates, crimes against dogs and cute little kittens, crimes of bribery, deceit, sexual indecency, theft of property…”

“You’s a _nasty_ motherfucker, ain’t _ya_?” The demon with the gun growls in his ear.

The demon on the podium fixes his glasses and nods. He grabs a gavel at his side and goes, “By the order of Lucifer and all that is evil in this realm, I condemn you to—“

“Yo, _Ed_ , wait— _wait_ a minute.” A portly demon with a thick Brooklyn accent comes up beside the demon who’s about to direct Volkhard’s soul to it’s final resting place of eternal damnation, “Special orders for this one. From the _top._ Send him to the 7th Layer Eternal Sickest of Fucks Torture Chamber in Phlegethon. _Byleth’s_ orders.” 

Volkhard blinks, “Special _orders_?” What was with these _accents_? Was this _entire_ operation run by gang members from New York City?

The demon with the Brooklyn accent grins maliciously at him, “Hehe, don’t know what _you_ did to piss off _Byleth_ , buddy, but good fucking _luck_.”

The gun toting demon steps back as the elderly demon, who was going over his sins from before, just shrugs and presses a button on his podium. Volkhard feels the floor drop out from behind him and he drops down into another long tunnel of darkness and heat. As he descends, the screams get worse. Fuck, as if this wasn’t bad enough already. He hits the ground with a thud and groans. The world is spinning and his head is killing him. The room he’s landed in is dark. Ugh, where is he _now?_

There’s a voice in the darkness. Thick and gravely. “ _Hello_ , Volkhard.”

Two pillars of fire come to life as he turns his head in the direction of the voice and finds a person sitting on a throne, a woman. Was this … was _Satan_ a woman, too? Oh, the humanity. Of _course_ women would be running the show down here. Damn whores.

“You should _really_ mind your thoughts in here.” The woman says. Blue hair and horns … was that what he saw after that flash of Edelgard in his memories? Before Death pushed him into this place? A sneer comes to her face at the sight of him, “I really wish you would _stop_ thinking about her before I make you.”

He looks at the demon, eyes roaming over the length of her and finds himself throwing his head back in laughter. Was he supposed to be afraid, “A dominatrix. They sent me to a _dominatrix?”_

“Oh, how you should _mind_ your mouth.”

He’s grabbed rather forcefully by two very large, buff, red demons wearing high heels and … speedos? Disgraceful. They place him on a table, face down. He can’t see anything, but he can feel his bound hands being forcefully dragged to the top of the table and secured in chains. He feels something sharp and pointy being pressed against his skin, but it doesn’t go through. His legs are pulled apart, each secured so that he’s wide and open.

“Now, in the beginning, _El_ wouldn’t exactly tell me what you did to her. And I’ve asked her. _Multiple times._ But she just wouldn’t budge.” He can hear the woman walking over to the table now. “So I thought. Well, I’m a demon king with infinite resources; let’s do some digging, yeah? Went to Purgatory, got to the Hall of Memories where I go and locate hers. I’m sitting over here wondering, _what_ can be so bad? Don’t have access to her files like that. Can’t just _probe_ where I’m not wanted, you know?”

Volkhard struggles against the restraints, “…Are … are you talking about Edelgard? How do you know Edelgard?”

“Oh, didn’t you know? Your niece has been in cahoots with a demon king for the last couple of months. Been trying to make her life a _little_ more manageable little by little.” The woman stops, “Oh. Sorry, where are my manners. I’m Byleth. Third in command of the Kings of Hell. A pleasure, it isn’t, I can assure you.”

“Are you the reason I’m here right now?”

“Ding, ding, ding.” Byleth chuckles, “Very astute. Now stop interrupting my monologuing. You’ll want to hear this for as long as you can before we get to the _good_ stuff.”

Volkhard feels a finger descend along his backside and stop right at his hips, “What… what are you going to do to me?”

If Byleth heard his question, she doesn’t answer it. “Anyway, like I was saying. I went to the Hall of Memories where I find this black box … just _full_ of absolute bullshit. Watched the video where you fucking tried to drown her. Finally figured out why she was so traumatized when I cast that illusion on her one time. Felt like shit after that to be honest.” Byleth continues, “There were other things. Killing that box of kittens she found and tried to take care of. You breaking her dominant hand so she couldn’t draw anymore. Cutting that beautiful, _beautiful,_ hair of hers because she loved it just a little _too_ much. And … and …”

“The… There must be some kind of mistake. I _never_ did anything to her. Sure, she was a bratty child. I disciplined her where it was necessary. Please, you _must_ believe me.”

“And you know what… I had to stop myself at one point. I couldn’t bring myself to watch anymore of those fucking videos after the one where … her bedroom door closes and I hear her crying...” She tries to keep calm in the face of anger, “But, you know, I have a sick feeling that I know _exactly_ what it was that you were doing to her…” Byleth pauses, “There were _eight_ of those videos in that box …”

Volkhard feels his pants being ripped off from behind, hot air on the bare skin of his exposed ass. At this point he feels like he should probably beg for his life … well, soul. “Please, you have to believe me. I never did any of that. _Honest_.”

“And still lying in the face of his eternal demise.” Byleth whispers to herself, “You are _bold_ indeed.”

Volkhard struggles, trying to pull free. “Please don’t do this.”

At that point, Byleth has had enough of his begging and she pulls on something hanging above him. The pointed bit he felt from when they first secured his hands is pulled down and he recoils in pain as something akin to a drill starts rolling through his bound hands. It drives his hands down, pulling at his wrists. Oh, God, that _hurts_. And it’s not stopping.

She reaches down and pulls his face up so that she can look into the eyes of this poor, pathetic piece of shit. “Now, I _may_ be a demon. And my code of ethics aren’t very strong. Barely there to be quite honest.” She leans in closer, “But if there’s one thing that both demons _and_ angels agree on is that you _don’t_ destroy the lives of fucking little _kids_.”

She let’s his face drop back down to the steel table and he hears the words— _hold him down—_ come out of her mouth. There is the sound of grinding steel coming from behind him before one of the demons jams his face sideways. He can only see a little of what’s happening behind him. Byleth has a thick steel pole with a pointed tip and jagged edges in her hand. She’s currently sharpening it on a spinning metal wheel.

Byleth eyes Volkhard watching her and she grins, fangs bared and all. She makes a face like— _oooo, where could this thing possibly be going?—_ and starts cackling to herself at the sound of metal scraping on metal. When she’s done, she admires the sharp edge for a minute, taps it, and smiles at him, the most demonic look she can muster. She stands, poised behind him with the spear locked in place, relishing in the moment.

“And I’m going to make sure you _know_ the pain of whatever it was you did, to that sweet little child that told you _no,_ for the _rest_ of fucking eternity.”

Byleth’s loud, maniacal cackling is the only thing that obscures Volkhard’s screaming and desperate whimpers that escape from the room that night.


	18. Lascia Ch'io Pianga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like. I know I just posted seventeen. But I literally wrote the ending to this before I even started filling in the middle. This just needed an extra 3000 words before it was finished. So. ....Here's more. I guess. I'm cray. I know.
> 
> ALSO THE SONG. LASCIA CH'IO PIANGA. DRAMATIC. OPERATIC. GOOD STUFF. YA SHOULD LISTEN TO IT.

Some days later, after her mother won’t stop crying, after the funeral which she doesn’t attend, after the condolences that people give that she doesn’t care about, Edelgard finds herself staring at the ceiling of her room wondering if she should feel … _different_.

What _happened_ that night? Volkhard leering at her like the pervert he was, still trying to do something to her after all these fucking years. And Byleth. The pure rage she had seen in her eyes …running away to the bathroom where Byleth had asked for permission to…

Byleth had been in and out for the last couple of days—something about being _grounded_ for awhile and trying not to get caught with sneaking off to see her. Hell, the last time she had popped into Edelgard’s room it was in a laundry bag— _sorry, Claude had to sneak me out of the house in this. Said he was taking care of my dry cleaning_. Edelgard doesn’t even ask anymore.

Byleth hasn’t been around for two days now. Probably doing something in Hell … _is that where his soul had went_? Was … was Byleth … doing something to him down there? _Had_ she done something to him? She had promised… didn’t she? Byleth had tried to talk about it with her, but she had shut her down at every turn. Edelgard didn’t want to know, the whole situation had been enough mental torture for the moment.

She’s turns around on her bed, trying to sort out her feelings, returning to drawing idly on one of her sketchpads without much commitment. Something warm and heavy comes to descend on her shoulders. A blanket. She turns her head. Byleth.

The demon smiles warmly at her, “ _Hi_.”

She looks at Byleth, sighs and looks away. Continues to draw her random lines and squiggles on the drawing pad beside her. “ _Hi_.” Edelgard answers, not really up for talking to anyone. Most of all, Byleth right now.

Byleth looks around the room and takes in the state of it. Okay. Not _too_ messy like the last time she was up here. Clothes on the floor. There are some empty mugs on her desk, but there’s a forgotten textbook there, too. So maybe she was just working? They haven’t really talked about things even though Byleth keeps trying. Maybe it was time to bite the bullet and try _again_ today.

Byleth bites at her lip and then turns back to Edelgard who’s still silent. “So … how are you today?”

“Fine.” Edelgard answers. Not clipped. Not angry. Just… _there._

“Wanna … talk about anything?” Byleth asks.

“Not really, no.” Airy. Maybe confused. Fuck, Byleth can’t pin these feelings down. She’s just… _there_.

Byleth goes ahead and takes the plunge. She sits back on Edelgard’s bed, dims the light above them and turns to look at the back of Edelgard’s head, “…El. Are you okay? Do you regret ... having me do what I did?” Cause Byleth sure as fuck didn’t.

Edelgard stops drawing and sinks into her pillow. She was just waiting for Byleth to stop dancing around the question already. Finally. She takes a minute to think and then shakes her head, “No. …Actually. I’m … just. I don’t know what to feel.” She starts, “He was an animal that had to be put down. And you did it. I’m just … I didn’t think it would be this way, I guess.”

“You’ve been … running away from it for a long time. It’s normal.”

Edelgard blinks. Had she been running away? “I just don’t think about it.”

Byleth nods, “I know we kind of brought it up before but ... are you ... _mad_ that I found out what happened to you?”

She shakes her head, “No. You would have. Sooner or later. You know, with your ability to be able to find out that type of stuff about me. Or maybe I would have told you. Who knows.” She pauses, “You’re the only person in the world that really knows the truth… besides that therapist that I went to.”

Byleth takes a chance and lies down beside her. Edelgard looks at her briefly and then goes back to drawing. “Edelgard.”

“Yes, Byleth?”

“... We should talk about some ... things.” She’s been putting it off for long enough.

“Like _what_ , Byleth?” Still airy and removed.

“About what happened to you.”

“Are you talking about my uncle raping me as a child? Abusing me? Borderline torturing me? Or are you talking about you killing him?” Edelgard asks, “I’ve had years to process it before you even came along, you know? It’s not a big deal anymore. I get flashbacks here and there; don’t like being touched in certain ways. But that’s it.” She pauses, shifts her drawing pad out the way, “As for you killing him... I don’t really care. I don’t know if I should say I’m thankful. I just... he’s _dead_. And gone. And he can’t ...”

“...Can’t hurt you anymore.” Byleth replies, lifting a piece of hair and pushing it back from her face, “He’s in Hell. Getting his just desserts, just so you know. No reincarnation for that piece of shit.”

Edelgard chuckles, exhausted mentally, but still manages some type of laugh, “I guess I have you to thank for that.”

Byleth shrugs, “Eh, maybe.”

Edelgard blinks two tired eyes at Byleth and smiles softly, “...Thank you.”

“I was _finally_ useful, huh?” Byleth asks her, grinning widely. “Took a minute but I did something to make your life better.”

“I guess you did.” Edelgard remarks, closing her eyes. “I’m going to go to sleep for awhile... will you be here when I wake up? Or are you going to have to run off again?”

“Is that a request? I’ll be happy to oblige.” Byleth asks, “And … maybe. Depends on how long I’ve been away.”

Edelgard nods tiredly and doesn’t reply. Byleth pulls the sheets up over the both of them and Edelgard snuggles closer to her so that her forehead is resting on Byleth’s shoulder. Byleth’s voice snaps her back to a faint level on consciousness.

“It’s okay if you cuddle me, you know. I cuddle all my _friends_.”

Edelgard chuckles, eyes still closed. _Friends_? They were more than friends, honey. “You have friends?”

“I told you before, I have Claude! You _know_ him… looked after you while I was off breaking all the rules and getting in trouble.”

“Like always.” Edegalrd mutters, throwing an arm over Byleth’s chest now.

Byleth reaches down to stroke her arm absentmindedly, when something catches her attention. Faint groves in her arm, lines, slightly raised. She peers down at her arms, notices some faint... jagged scars etched into her skin. She looks at Edelgard, and then back at her arm. _El... you didn’t ..._

“…El.”

“Yes?”

Byleth moves her arm from off her chest and fingers one of the scars, “You don’t do _this_ anymore, yeah?”

Edelgard curses under her breath, how was she even able to _feel_ the difference in her skin like that? “No, Byleth. Those are old. _Very_ old.” Edelgard replies, feeling a little self-conscious now. She tries to pull her arm back, but Byleth keeps a hold of it.

Byleth kisses one scar and then another, up her shoulder, across her collarbone— _stop that—_ and then her face, “…I’ll kiss every last one of them if I have to.”

“Hm. I guess you will.” Edelgard mutters sleepily.

Byleth sighs. She knows this moment won’t last. She knows the paperwork hasn’t hit Luc’s desk yet, processing takes _forever_. But it’s almost been a week now and it’s going to be there sooner or later. She’s just been biding her time, trying to see Edelgard every chance she gets before shit really hits the fan.

“El, not to get serious and ruin the moment… but I’m probably going to have to leave by morning again… I … I think I might _kinda_ be in trouble again.” Byleth mutters.

“You know, you have a real _knack_ for that.”

“I promise I won’t be long. I’ll be back up as soon as I can.”

Edelgard snickers, eyes closing, “Of all the demons to summon in Hell… I got the biggest troublemaker out of the bunch…” And then she’s asleep.

 _Just like before_. Byleth thinks, casting a glance at Edelgard’s sleeping face. Oh well. Couldn’t do much about that now could she? With a resounding sigh, Byleth waves a hand to turn out the light at her side. She would deal with whatever shit came her way when the sun came above the horizon again.

—

In the morning she gets a phone call. 

Oh, it’s _Lucifer_.

Oh, Lucifer is _screaming_ at her to get back down to Hell, right _fucking_ now. _Shit_. She knew this was going to happen. She kisses Edelgard goodbye, spanks her on the ass— _BYLETH—_ and tumbles her way back down into the abyss.

Lucifer was angry with her. _Fucking_ furious might have been a better statement. His usual calm, long black hair … is up in _flames_. Oh, Byleth hasn’t seen him this mad since Death… yeah, _don’t_ bring that up. She smiles at him. He slams his desk in response.

“Byleth. You _know_ better.”

“He deserved it.” Byleth isn’t backing down on this one.

“You’re not allowed to _randomly_ kill humans whenever you feel like it. If that were the case, the human race would be _gone_ by now. There’s a balance to this, _indirect_ killings, Byleth. War is fine; plagues are fine, sickness, not groveling before your greatness after a summoning, fine. Any of that is _fine_. This is like How To Demon One Oh _Fucking_ One. You don’t kill humans who haven’t _summoned_ you or disgraced you in some way. That’s the _one_ fucking rule that we’ve stuck to in accordance with Heaven and you _fucking broke it_.” He slams his palms on the desk in frustration, “You already tried to take down Heaven and fucked something up. Fuck, Byleth! What in _Sothis_ ’ name is _wrong_ with you?!”

Byleth repeats herself, “He _deserved it.”_

 _“_ I don’t care _what_ he deserved. It’s not your place to decide those sorts of thing. That’s what _Fate_ is for!”

“Well… Fate kind of allowed me to do it. Didn’t stop me _so_ …” Byleth _really_ didn’t see what the issue _was_ here.

“That is _irrelevant_! Let me guess, you did this because you _love_ Edelgard? We _all_ know you’re still in fucking love with her. Hell, even Zagan’s mentally incompetent ass knows it.” Lucifer slammed his desk again in anger, “You can’t keep chasing after a _dead_ love, Byleth. She’s been gone for _years_. She isn’t who she used to be. You two aren’t trying to bring the Heavens down anymore. Wake up and smell the fucking _9th Level Coffee_!”

Byleth laughs again, scratches her cheek, “Well… I don’t know if you know this, but …”

The truth dawns on him and Lucifer covers his face, “Byleth. You’re not… you fucking _didn’t_.”

“We’re… kind of _together_ again?” Byleth tries, wincing slightly.

Lucifer looks to the ceiling; willing all the souls of infernal goodness—whatever those were—to _please_ give him the strength. “Byleth. You are not dating Edelgard _again_. You promised me you wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I _am_.”

“No. _You’r_ e not.” Lucifer doesn’t look at him. His eyes are still pointed to the ceiling, hoping that his prayers are answered. Sorry, Luc. Prayers don’t exist in Hell. This is _your_ domain, you know that. “ _Fuck_ , Byleth, if Sitri could see you now…”

“Don’t bring my _mother_ into this.”

“Byleth… _please_. Do you remember when Sothis struck you down and almost killed you? When Baal and Paimon had to carry your limp body into these halls and we thought you were _dead_? … Do you remember what your mother did for you?”

“No. I was _unconscious,_ obviously _.”_ Byleth rolls her eyes.

“…Sitri… a fallen angel, as myself. Sacrificing _herself_ because of the life she brought into this world.” Lucifer sighed, “…It took years, Byleth, fucking _years_ to rebuild the connection with Sothis … and you broke it … _again_ … all because of _love_.”

“You know, I didn’t even _know_ it was truly her until I saw her reincarnation papers, right? Sure, she felt familiar. Hell, I even thought she could have been a descendant when I saw that painting at the gallery. But, you put me to sleep for a few hundred years and when I woke up she was _gone_.” Byleth is getting angry now, losing her calm composure from before, “And I was _forbidden_ to see her. Forbidden to even know where her soul _was_. All I could piece together was that she was probably in Purgatory somewhere, floating around so that I couldn’t find her.”

“Why do you think we kept her in Purgatory in the first place? So something like this wouldn’t happen!” Lucifer roared back, banging his hands on the desk again, _“_ I _warned_ you to be careful of your oath with her, did I not? When I called you into my office that one morning, distracted by your thoughts of _Edelgard_.” Lucifer seethed.

“If you _knew_ it was her, why the hell did you even let things continue to _begin_ with!?” Byleth slammed her own hands on the desk this time, getting angrier about the direction of this conversation.

“Because I _thought_ things would be different this time. I thought you’d _changed_! I _thought_ having the physical essence of your mother running in your veins, her blood as a full blooded demon, reviving you, would be _enough_ for you to gain some _fucking_ common sense, Byleth!” Lucifer grips his desk, “But I can see that the human side of you is still fucking you up after all this time!” Lucifer yelled back, “You _claim_ to be a demon, but I know what’s inside that chest of yours as well as you. It’s been there for millennia. And it’s still there, _fucking_ with you _even_ until this day.”

“…I’ve had enough of this.” Byleth murmured, “What are you going to do? Strip me of my power? Cast me down into some deeper level of Hell than I’m already in?”

“ _First_ , I’m forbidding you from leaving the realm. You’ve already done enough fucking damage that I have to go fix. I’m surprised Rhea hasn’t come through this glass right now to strike your ass down.” Lucifer stands up, “Secondly, there will be a _no contact order_ placed on Edelgard. All your sigils will be removed. We’ll be placing a sealing spell over her that even _she_ is aware of that, so that you can’t access her. So don’t even _try._ ”

Byleth gets out of her chair and leans forward, disbelief all over her face. Can’t see _Edelgard,_ was he _insane_? “You can’t _do_ that. Luc, be reasonable, I—“

“Byleth. I have _tried_ to be reasonable when it comes to you and you disappoint me at _every_ turn.” Lucifer massages his face as he reaches for his phone, “Now, if you’ll _excuse me_ , I have to meet Sothis in Purgatory and _talk_ about recent developments. You’re dismissed.”

—

Claude hasn’t seen Byleth this angry … well … since the first time she woke up and couldn’t find _El_. He’s watching his liege tear apart their office. Setting fire to things, writing stuff like— _Fuck, Lucifer—_ all over the walls, screaming—shape shifting—typical demon tantrum stuff.

He decides to put on some mood music—hmm, ah, metal should work. This should suffice. He watches things get thrown around, just says things like— _It’s okay, let it out buddy. Yeah, I know. That’s your girl, man. I know, you’ve wanted her since the beginning and now Luc is fucking it up again. Did you guys get to have sex today? I hear that helps with anger. No, but you were going to? Okay, okay. Sorry, don’t smite me next._

Byleth ends things; huddled in a corner, face down in his arms. Ah, male form— _war form_ , the most high of _angry_ forms. Claude nods in understanding and decides to pause the metal music once the dramatics have settled down and hesitantly walks over to Byleth to check in.

His last effort is throwing a piece of chalk at the wall. It snaps. Byleth looks up at Claude, “Is it so wrong to do something for someone you love?”

“Well, we’re demons. So… our definition of love is a little _different_ , I guess. But... you’re _half_ so maybe the rules are different. At any rate, I would have found it flattering that you killed my abuser for me and then condemned his soul to an eternity of … butt … probing.” Claude shivers, “I think it’s romantic. By demon standards.”

“He didn’t really have much of an ass left when I was done with him. The demons are probably still going at it now.” Byleth closes his eyes and utters out a low, “ _Fuck_.”

“Hey, buddy. It ain’t all bad.” Claude tries to reassure him, “You killed a bad guy for your lady even when people always think _we’re_ the bad guys. Sure, you might have inadvertently … caused some issues with Sothis... but Lucifer is gonna take care of that, right?”

“I don’t even trust him to.” Byleth shakes his head, laughs sardonically, “The veganism has turned him weak.”

“All those raw vegetables and fruit. He’s gotta be hungry for some good ole MSG.” Claude crosses his arms over his chest, “So what are you going to do now?”

“…Go see Edelgard.” Byleth replies, “I don’t care if I’m breaking the rules. There’s one little thing Luc doesn’t realize in all of his fallible glory.”

“And that is?”

“My father’s warding ring.” Byleth smirks, form slowly changing from male over to female in an instant. She smirks, fangs bared in defiance. Oh, mischievous, happy Byleth—lady form now. “You remember I gave her that bad boy before I left for Purgatory, right? Well, told her to keep it. With all the shit going on, probably would be for the best. Figured I was about to be in some deep shit before I got summoned down here. Don’t know if any of those ramifications were going to fall on her, so. Gotta cover your bases somehow.”

“What’s it gonna do, though?”

“Nullify anything Luc throws over her domain. At least for a little while. Enough time for me to get in and out.” 

“Byleth, you sneaky little bitch.”

“Duh. Always.” Byleth sighs, “I’ll need your help to get up there. …Guards are probably keeping an eye out for me. I just … I just wanna make sure she’s okay, you know?”

“Maybe get some sex in before Lucifer comes roaring for you to get back here?” Claude ducks a ball of flame being lobbed at his head, “I kid, _I kid._ Go get your lady, man. I got ya.”

—

Byleth almost feels like apologizing for the demons she has to tear through to get back up to Enbarr. Oh, those pitiful men. They were just following orders. The highest of orders. But she had a job to do before she relinquished her rights to see Edelgard.

An explosion erupts from underneath her and she almost gets knocked off course and flies right by her exit. Oh, that was just Claude. Thanks, bud. I’ll buy you drinks later. She feels the heat of Hell disperse and she almost breaks her neck when she falls face first onto the floor of Edelgard’s living room. It’s dark. Candles are lit. Girl’s are shrieking. What the _fuck?_

“What was _that_?” Byleth recognizes that as Dorothea’s voice.

“Was… did the demon _come_?” Bernadetta.

“I am so happy we get to play the game again.” Petra.

Something soft shuffles and Byleth looks up to see Edelgard peering around the back of the couch. She’s smiling. She’s _happy_ to see her. “You _came_!”

Byleth blinks and pushes herself up so that she’s in full view of the other girls. What in the fuck is going on? Why in the world—Byleth feels like strangling Edelgard when she sees what’s currently sitting in the middle of her coffee table. She gestures, righteously outraged. “You bought another _Ouija board_?!”

“Well, you weren’t answering when I called!” Edelgard yelled back, “Where have you _been_? Things have been getting really _weird_ around here.”

“Wait a minute…that’s _Byca!”_ Dorothea lowers her voice and leans into Bernadetta, “…Is Eddy dating a _demon_ now?”

Bernadetta covers her eyes, “There’s a demon in the room. Byca’s a demon. There’s a _demon_ in the room. Byca’s a _demon._ ”

Petra strokes her chin, “Oh. Has the game worked?”

“It’s _BYLETH!”_ Byleth turns to the three of them, “ _Shut up!”_ And they all go comatose. Silent. Before Edelgard can protest, she turns back to Edelgard, “I _need_ to talk to you.”

Edelgard is annoyed, “What’s _going_ on?”

Byleth sighs, “I … might have fucked up.” 

“Again.” Edelgard sighs.

” _Again_.” She comes around the couch and sits down, “Remember when I … did the thing.”

“What _thing_?” Edelgard asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“The thing. With your uncle. Killed him.” Byleth says, leaning forward, “I might … have violated another very important rule. One established by the child upstairs and the big guy downstairs.”

“And that is?” Edelgard probes more, “Well, spit it out.”

“…You know demons kill humans all the time right? Through natural disasters, war, disease, all that good stuff. The thing is, the humans dying … stem as a direct result of our actions. Wrong place, wrong time. Weak immune systems, victims of causality.” Byleth doesn’t have long, she needs Edelgard to understand this nice, quick, and fast.

“You mean an indirect death.” Edelgard replies.

A smile graces Byleth’s features for a brief second. Yes, _smart_ girl. “Remember how I always told you I wouldn’t kill you unless you tried first?”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, “All the damn time.”

“When I tried to kill Thales, he was hurting _you_. I had a reason. …However, when I had killed your uncle… he hadn’t done anything to _slight_ me. We’re not under contract anymore either... so in the eyes of the laws that govern both Heaven and Hell, I …violated a rule established by Sothis and Luc a _long_ time ago…” Byleth said, inhaling deeply, “What I’m saying is—“

“—What the abomination is saying is that it’s going to die, _right now_ , by my hands.”

Edelgard nearly jumps at the sound of the voice and runs to hide behind Byleth. Behind her, there she is. That _woman_ whose been popping up all day and _leering_ at her. Green hair, long white robes, an ethereal shine that never seems to go away. She shakes Byleth’s sleeve and points at the glowing ethereal form.

“That! That thing! She’s been following me since you _left!_ ” Edelgard whined, “Who _is_ that?”

Byleth growls, wrapping Edelgard in her arms and backing away, “ _Rhea_.”

“You mean _that’s_ the crazy bitch that tried to kill me back at the cabin?” Edelgard frowns, “She’s _ugly_.”

Byleth would probably have laughed if they weren’t currently in the predicament they were currently in. She grasps tightly onto Edelgard’s waist, prepared to do anything at this moment. Rhea was too unpredictable.

Rhea turns her nose up at the sight of Edelgard and Byleth, “…Such immorality. The two of you. It _disgusts_ me.” She looks at Byleth, “You just don’t learn, _do you_. I have heard. Heard of the crimes you have committed. Heard of you killing a man in cold blood. Trying to abscond off with your lesbian lover to do other unholy and ungodly deeds. I am tired of Mother’s inability to _put_ you demon scum in your place. You have—“

Edelgard is tired and tunes Rhea out as she continues to talk about all the ways in which Byleth sucks and how Edelgard’s soul will never get into Heaven. On and on and on. “ _Wow._ She talks a lot. More than you.”

“It’s ... Rhea.” Byleth muttered

“…For disobeying Lucifer’s recently enacted no contact order with one Edelgard von Hresvelg. You simply do not _learn_ , so you?” Rhea finally comes to the end of her long monologue.

“I mean, honestly. You guys let this go on for longer than it should have.” Byleth muttered, “Shouldn’t I be killing you instead?”

“No contact order?” Edelgard asks. “You mean you’re not even technically supposed to _be_ here?”

Byleth shrugs, “Yeah. Just this morning. Luc works _fast,_ doesn’t he?”

“ _FLAYN_.” Rhea snaps.

A small girl with green and … slightly pinkish tints in her hair walks out from behind Rhea. Byleth squints at Flayn, has she _changed_ any since she last saw her? Flayn smiles… those teeth are looking a little sharper too. She has something wrapped in her arms and Byleth nearly balks when she recognizes the shape of what Flayn is carrying.

“Oh, _wow_! We came to see King Byleth! Fuck you, King Byleth!” She cradles the slender package into her elbows and struggles to hold two middle fingers up at Byleth, excited to see her again.

If Byleth wasn’t a little in a fucked up predicament right now, she probably would have fell over laughing. Instead, her mouth slightly quirks, “Heh, fuck you, _too_ , Flayn. You’re looking a little different these days, ain’t ya?”

Flayn nods her head, “I think I finally hit angel puberty!”

Byleth snorts. _That_ didn’t look like angel puberty to her.

“ ** _SILENCE_**.” Rhea yells, causing Flayn to flinch, “Flayn. The _sword_.”

Flayn nods, “Yes, Your Grace.” She finally unravels what she was carrying and bows, as she turns to Rhea. The Sword of the Creator.

Rhea snatches the sword from Flayn’s hands and points it toward Byleth and then at Edelgard, “YOU! WILL DIE. **_AGAIN_. BY THIS SWORD** _.”_

Edelgard, looks at the psychotic angel currently trying to kill her and Byleth and then looks at the demon groaning beside her, “What the fuck is going _on_ , Byleth.”

Byleth sighs, “Not really a _good time_ for story time, El.”

“I’ll tell you _what’s_ going on.” Rhea snaps, pointing the sword at Byleth, “Your cross dressing polyamorous sexually immoral demented _lover_ has _broken_ the agreement that _Mother_ and that wretched _Lucifer_ came to when _I—“_ She points the sword at Edelgard now, “—impaled your _debauched_ sinful homosexual soul **_ON THIS VERY SWORD_**!”

Flayn looks at Rhea, at Byleth and Edelgard, then at Rhea again, “Lady Rhea. If I may?”

“ _WHAT FLAYN?”_ Rhea seethed, turning to look down at the girl beside her.

“…Hasn’t… hasn’t King Byleth suffered enough? I mean.” She gestures toward Byleth who is trying to shush Edelgard down and back away from Rhea’s berserker rage, “After all, Her Grace _did_ take a portion of her heart, didn’t she? And Edelgard, she doesn’t even know who she is anymore.”

Edelgard whips her head at Byleth. Heart? Sothis? Know who she is? “What _are they **TALKING ABOUT BYLETH?”**_

Hubert’s door opens at that point. What in the _fuck_ is happening out there? He was _trying_ to sleep for his goddamn shift tonight! The first thing he sees is Rhea and Flayn standing there. A crazy glowing lady with a sword and a small girl with crazy green and pink hair. They stare at him, he stares back. He steps into the hallway now, sees Byleth in …some weird archaic outfit and her trying to shush Edelgard up. His gaze lowers to Dorothea, Bernadetta and Petra passed out on the floor with the Ouija board and candles still glowing around them. He blinks. Nope. Not even going to fuck with this one. He goes back into his room and firmly closes the door.

Rhea watches his departure and points the sword in the direction of Hubert’s door, “Your _former_ demon knight will be _spared_ tonight. He has kept to the _accordance_ that Fate has **_LAID OUT FOR HIM_**.”

“Former _demon_ knight?” Edelgard questions.

A dawn of realization comes to Byleth’s face, “ _That’s_ why I liked him so much! Hubert was your old personal _guard_. Holy _shit_! I should have realized it when all the succubus wouldn’t leave him alone on the night of your exhibition.”

Rhea turns back to Flayn to continue their conversation, “It doesn’t _matter._ ” She says through gritted teeth, “I’ve had enough of this!”

Byleth puts her hand over Edelgard’s mouth as she starts up again, grabs her in her arms and prepares to defend if necessary. Rhea snaps her arm back, ready to take the head of Byleth in the process. Byleth jumps back, pulls them through the wall of the apartment and descends onto the busy streets of the city.

The Sword of the Creator narrowly misses her head and she groans at the sloppiness of her landing. She pulls them into the alleyway beside Edelgard’s apartment building and holds tightly to her arms, “El, I need you to _stay_ here while I take care of this, okay? I’ll be back.”

“No!” Edelgard says as she tries to pull Byleth back toward her, “You’re going to tell me what’s going on _right_ **now**. What was she talking about back there saying that she’s going to finally strike us down for our wrongs _again_?” She slaps at Byleth’s arms, “Have you been **_keeping_** something from me!?”

“ _El._ ” Byleth starts, “I don’t have _time_ to do that right now. I have to go take care of this crazy psycho bitch that hasn’t left us alone for the last _three hundred years_ now!” She pauses briefly, presses Edelgard forcefully against the wall to kiss her with what feels like her last breath, and then she’s off. “ ** _Okay_** _!?”_

Edelgard touches her lips and peaks out of the alleyway, watching Byleth fade off down the street. What was she doing? She wasn’t going to fight again was she? She couldn’t stay here and just _wait_ like some helpless damsel. What of the girls… in the apartment? She’d have to think about that later.

Edelgard wanders into the street and realizes that people were walking straight through her. Oh, she was in the in-between. Made sense… they _had_ just jumped through a wall. Edelgard, _focus._ Where was her frying pan?

In the sky she sees a giant white dragon roaring… and just _stares_. What the _fuck_ was happening right now? Why couldn’t she just go back to being a normal graduate student in the midsts of academic hell? Why was the steamiest fucking romantic entanglement of her life with a demon—a _King of HELL_? She doesn’t have time to think much, because that girl—Flayn?—suddenly appears in a cloud of … _grey_ …smoke?

“Oh, _wow!_ You’re Lady Edelgard! I’ve heard so many horrible stories about you, they can’t be true.” Flayn says, pressing her hands against her face, her red tinted eyes sparkling, “I’m Flayn! I’m sure King Byleth has told you about me. I’ve been taking pictures of you two!”

Edelgard looks down at the young girl, “…Can’t say I have.” She looks back up at the white dragon and points at it. In the distance, she sees something black hopping around. _Byleth_? “Flayn… was it?”

“Oh! Yes!” Flayn bows, “How can I be of service?”

“What in the _fuck_ is going on?” Edelgard seethes.

“What do you mean? Lady Rhea is here to rein down _Holy Vengeance_ upon Byleth and you for breaking the rules again.” Flayn lowers her eyes, face growing sad, “I don’t think it’s right though. You two had such a wonderful love story… the two of you dying, trying to avenge a wrong done to your people.” She looks up again, her reddish eyes bright, “But! What can you do? Lady Rhea’s prepared to uphold the honor of Her Grace no matter what it takes. I’m pretty sure once she’s done killing King Byleth she’ll come for you next.”

Breaking _the_ rules? Wonderful _love_ story? Oh. _…Fuck._ Realization dawns on her and Edelgard’s eyes widen. _That_ woman—in the picture. _That_ woman—Byleth went to look for in Purgatory. _That_ woman—the one that Byleth had sadly told her about on the night she came home … that woman… _that_ woman _…it doesn’t work that way. She doesn’t even remember me so it doesn’t matter, does it? Besides. I’m sure she’s happy now. And I don’t have to worry about it…it’s good, El. She’s … good…_

“That woman was _you_ , Lady Edelgard. Why do you look so shocked? Did King Byleth not tell you about it?” Flayn asks, innocently, “Really, her exploits were _all_ over the tabloids in Heaven. Breaking into Purgatory, seeking an audience with _Fate_. _Wow_. She’s so brave, isn’t she? I wish I could be just like her when I grow up!”

Edelgard inhales kind of unevenly and feels herself sway slightly. _Byleth_. Fucking _Byleth_. She can’t get distracted by that now. She has to get up there… or something. …Or maybe it was safer here on the ground. She points to the sky, “What the fuck is that dragon up there?”

“Oh, that’s just Lady Rhea in her true form.” Flayn says, eyes sparkling again, “I can’t believe I get to _see_ her like this! I had heard the rumors, but this is even better!”

“…And Byleth?” Edelgard sees something black flash through the night sky again, silver and blue. Moving too fast that she can barely make out what’s happening.

“Looks like King Byleth’s trying to bring her down so they can fight…” Flayn starts punching the air, “…Woman to woman?”

“…I can’t do anything about this… can I?” Edelgard murmurs to herself.

“You can cheer for King Byleth!” Flayn says, “I’m trying to do both. Go _Lady Rhea!_ Go _King Byleth!_ ” Her voice takes on a deeper register, guttural and demonic, “ _Fucking tear her to shreds, Byleth_.”

Edelgard stares at the child and blinks, “…Are you all right?”

Flayn giggles and covers her mouth, “You know, it’s the strangest thing. My voice is changing and my eyes—they used to be _so_ green—now look at them.” She bats her eyes at Edelgard. So pink… _nearly red_ , “And my _hair._ The same is happening up there, too.” She smiles, “I heard Lady Rhea murmuring about a transfer soon. I’m so excited! I’m going to be able to fulfill my dream of living abroad finally!”

Edelgard just blinks, “ _Uhm_ … okay.”

Flayn startles, “Oh! Look! King Byleth just stabbed Lady Rhea in the eye and they’re going down!” She claps her hands and takes off down the street, “We should follow the two of them and see the fight up close! _I want to see some bloodshed._ ”

Edelgard watches Flayn—This … child was _disturbing—_ and decides to run after her as she starts skipping off down the street. She hears a roar of something, Byleth’s voice— _DIE YOU STUPID BITCH!_ Oh, God—Sothis?—where were _they_? Edelgard is frantic, not liking this one bit. She sees something go into the sky, a sword spinning off into the distance. Oh _God_ , _Sothis_ , _Lucifer, Byleth, Her Frying Pan_. Whoever could hear her thoughts or prayers during this instant.

Flayn points toward an alleyway off the side of the street and turns to Edelgard— _Let us commence the sacrifice._ Honestly, what in the world was this child? A demon? An angel? A … _fallen_ angel? In the distance she can make out something flashing, far too fast for her to make sense of it. Silver and dark energy, Byleth. Light and nauseating poofs of feathers, Rhea. Flayn’s head winds inhumanely in a circle— _Kill that bitch, Byleth._

Flayn covers her mouth and looks over at Edelgard, “Oh, where are my manners. Sorry, Lady Edelgard. I keep having these strong outbursts lately.”

Edelgard ducks behind a wall, trying to stay out of sight, “Hey, Flayn?”

“ _Yes, my liege?”_ Flayn asks.

“Uhm… right. Can you conjure things? Summon things?”

“Why of course!” Flayn clasps her hands together, “What do you need?”

“A frying pan.” Edelgard says, “Make it your hardest hitting one. _Hot_ , made of the darkest coals from the darkest pits of Hell. You can do that. _Right_?”

“ _Of fucking course._ ” Flayn sticks her tongue out, and makes devil horns with her fingers at the prospect of helping out such a revered figure in the history of hellion domination. She holds her hands out and bows, “For you, Lady Edelgard.”

Did this child have a… split personality or _something_? Edelgard accepts the frying pan and looks at it. Why was the … handle so _brown_ … and the pan so ridged and… _gold_? And the center—it _glowed._ What the fuck was this? Some type of celestial frying pan? She _thought_ she requested a weapon derived from the depths of _Hell_.

She shakes her head and narrows her eyes. Byleth has crossed swords with Rhea again. That Sword of the Creator mess looks … _dangerous_. Snapping all over the place as it is. Edelgard puffs her cheeks out and inhales, her hands shaking. She steps out, her frying pan held in the air like she once wielded _Amyr_ over three hundred years ago. “HEY _BITCH_!”

Byleth almost falters in her next sword swing at the sound of Edelgard’s voice. What the _fuck_. _“I TOLD YOU TO SAY PUT!”_ She groans. “ _WHY THE FRYING PAN, EDELGARD??”_

Edelgard doesn’t even respond to Byleth’s voice in her head. She just. Stands there. Waving the frying pan at Rhea, “Stop fucking with my _King_!”

 _Awww, El._ If she wasn’t trying to stop them from being killed, Byleth would have taken her right there.

Rhea, now also distracted by the small human, swathed in a red hoodie and jeans, standing at the end of the alley waving a frying pan, growls. “ _WHAT?!”_

Edelgard looks at Byleth and then Rhea, “Yeah! You! Your little follower just filled me in on everything!” She looks at Byleth, “And _you. We’ll_ talk when we get **home**.”

Byleth swallows hard at her tone of voice. “Yes, ma’am.”

Flayn comes out from behind Edelgard and smiles at Rhea, “Hi, Lady Rhea! I’m sorry if I disobeyed orders. I just … I felt so _compelled_ to help out! I wanted to do my part, too!”

“ ** _FLAYN_**!” Rhea snaps the Sword of the Creator back in her hands, looks at Byleth who’s now assumed a defensive stance in front of Edelgard and resists the urge to start laughing, “Do you really think you can win against me, demon? With your little human and her … kitchen artifact?”

“Never said we wouldn’t _try_.” Byleth shrugs.

Rhea snaps her arm back and readies her sword. “I WILL **KILL** YOU.”

“You **said** that already!” Edelgard yells from behind Byleth, waving the frying pan around.

“ _EL._ **SHHH. _”_** Byleth waves her arm at the girl trying to help out behind her, “Just like. Be my cheerleader or something, okay!?”

“No!” Edelgard yells back, “I’m going to fight, _too_! ”

Byleth growls under her breath at this incorrigible— _bloody thirsty, lovely, amazing artist_ —of a woman behind her. Rhea raises her sword again and Byleth nearly panics as Edelgard goes running past her to meet Rhea head on with her frying pan of _doom_. Holy shit, was that a frying pan version of _Amyr_? Byleth doesn’t have time to react as The Sword of the Creator comes straight for Edelgard— _no, no, not again._ Edelgard, high on the adrenaline of love and rage goes— _oh, shit_ — and holds the frying pan over her head and braces herself for impact. Oh, _fuck what did she—_ wait. It didn’t _hit_ her.

She opens her eyes, seeing Byleth in front of her. That’s … the sword. Through Byleth’s chest. She lowers her gaze, seeing blood, as the tip of it had nearly avoided reaching her face. She looks back up again, sees one of Byleth’s hands shaking as it tries to hold that accursed sword still from going any further. Byleth looks over her shoulder, a soft and tender look in her eyes— _Silly girl. I told you to stay_ **put**.

It’s almost as if time is replaying itself. But in reverse this time. In the present, Byleth, on the end of Rhea’s sword, the Sword of the Creator, which she had once so faithfully stolen for Edelgard a few nights before their final assault. There they were, in the midst of a final battle, aiming to take down the hegemony of Heaven itself. They raised their army of the dead, climbed to Araboth to descend their own holy fire upon the throne of God.

But Fate had waved her gentle hand, turned the tide. And then there was Edelgard, impaled on the tip of Rhea’s sword in one single miscalculation. In Byleth’s memories, she can’t tell if the blood that falls from the wound is Edelgard’s, or the brilliant red of her silk robes of war. Byleth, in her rage, trying to save her. Trying to turn back their single error in judgment. Sothis, rising over her and striking her down for daring to challenge the will of God.

Rhea retracts the sword, Byleth falls. Edelgard is in a panic. She can’t do anything. What can she do? Rhea just stares at her— _it is done—_ and disappears in a brilliant display of sacred light and fluffy white feathers. They descend, scatter to the floor. Fade from view. Flayn rushes over to the two of them— _THAT BITCH, RHEEAAAAAA._

Edelgard’s desperate, grabs at Byleth’s face. The demon in her arms makes a sound, she’s still _alive_. Okay, okay. Stay with me now. Don’t go. Where _would_ she even go? Byleth’s breathing is quick and labored. This is odd. Why is she clutching her chest so much? She thought... Edelgard thought...

She presses her head to where Byleth is grasping at her chest and her eyes widen, retracts and crumples again. No. _No_. That … that was…

That was a _heartbeat_.

A weak. Slow. Heartbeat.

The sound of silent snow obscures her crying.

_Demons don’t have hearts, Edelgard._

You lied.


	19. To Kill A God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just laughing to myself. Cackling along the way.
> 
> I'll post the finale tomorrow. Or the day after. Or sometime in the week.

It’s Claude.

It’s _always_ Claude that saves the day when Byleth fucks up.

He’s got Byleth in his arms— _damn, Chief, you’re_ **_heavy_** —he looks at Edelgard who looks nearly inconsolable— _what have you been feeding her?—_ Edelgard doesn’t even respond. She just keeps looking at Byleth fading in and out of consciousness in Claude’s arms.

The elevator dings as they get to the floor of Edelgard’s apartment and she rushes out before Claude or Flayn, who’s also joined them— _FUCK RHEAAAAA THE SHIT STAINED ONE—_ and unlocks the door to her apartment. They’re met with four familiar faces ... and one that Edelgard didn’t quite recognize, but Claude does. Dorothea, Petra, and Bernadetta are currently sitting in the living room with Hubert and a woman… wearing a black cloak with a purple and black Afro?

Death is the first one that rises, looking at the limp form of Byleth in Claude’s arms, “Byleth! I thought I _fucking_ told you to get your _shit_ together!”

“She can’t hear ya, D. Gimme a second and then you can start screaming at her, okay?” He mutters, looking for where to put Byleth. Edelgard gestures forward with her Amyr frying pan, her bedroom. Flayn follows after him muttering about _revenge_ and _sacrifice_.

Hubert looks at Byleth’s unconscious body in Claude’s arms, shakes his head—what _now—_ and then looks at Edelgard, “I …took the night off. You and your demon nonsense kept me up and I wasn’t in any shape to go in tonight.” He gestures toward her friends who are sitting in a circle drinking tea. “I already filled them in.”

Dorothea speaks first, “ _Eddy_! How could you have kept this from us for the last couple of months?!” She looks at Edelgard’s bedroom door closing behind Claude and Byleth’s moaning coming from the crack in the door, “And _BYCA?_ ” She points in the direction of Edelgard’s room, “ _Byca? Bycleth?_ They’re the same person!?”

Edelgard sighs, “Dorothea, I _really_ don’t have time for this.”

Bernadetta sips her tea, oddly calm for once, “…You know for a demon, she was really nice. I had fun with her… she wasn’t scary at all.”

Petra nods, “So we have achieved our purpose. The game has been won?”

Edelgard stomps her foot, “ _YES_ , Dorothea. Byleth was both of those people. _YES_. We’re dating. _YES_. Bernadetta she’s not that bad.” She turns to Petra, “ _NO_. Petra, the game hasn’t been won. It’s about to get fucked up right now.”

“…So you _lied_ when you said the demon was a cat.” Dorothea replies mirthfully, “It was actually … a really _hot_ , pretty demon … lady?”

“ _Ugh_!” Edelgard turns to Hubert, “I’m sorry, but can you take care of this?! Byleth is in there fucking _dying—“_

 _“_ Again.” Death mutters as she sips her own tea.

“ _Yes._ AGAIN! And I kind of need to be in _there_ right now! You guys can ask me all your stupid questions later! I’ll explain everything once _I_ have a grasp of what the fuck is happening.” She turns away from the group and enters her room now to see what Claude is doing.

Hubert shrugs, looks at Death, “…Perhaps you should take your extra guest with you. She’s been sitting here muttering about Byleth dying for the past twenty minutes now.”

“Sure. Whatever. Another weirdo to join the bunch.” Edelgard mutters as she enters her room.

Death frowns, “I heard _that_ vampire queen.” And closes the door behind the two of them as they enter the room.

Flayn is currently on her knees at the side of Edelgard’s bed, muttering under her breath— _Come back my liege, please come back to fuck shit up again. We must go impale that shit stain Rhea. Wipe her smug visage from the Heavens. I will get my revenge—_ while Claude, mostly ignoring her, is rummaging around in a bag looking for something. He pulls out a green glowing vial with liquid in it and then starts filling the black, metal syringe he has in his other hand.

Edelgard sets her Amyr frying pan down on her desk and pulls her desk chair up beside the bed. “Is … she’s not _dead_ is she?” She takes a look at Byleth and notices the blood that’s now dried on her sheets. She swallows and looks at Byleth’s hand covering her chest. The hole is still there and her hand is caked with dry blood.

“No.” Death chimes in from behind her, “But she’s _about_ to be.”

“Not yet.” Claude replies, ignoring Death and flicking his finger against the syringe to get rid of air bubbles, “This will stabilize her for awhile.”

“What … what’s that?” Edelgard asks.

“Sitri, her mother’s blood. The one thing that’s _really_ been keeping her alive for the past few hundred years. Brought her back as well when you two tried to take down Heaven.” Clause places a hand to Byleth’s head, “Sorry, Chief. This … will probably fucking hurt. But, I want your lady over here to stop worrying about your stupid ass, for _once_. So… here we _go_.” He looks at Edelgard, “You might wanna look away from this …or cover your eyes at least.”

Edelgard does as Claude suggests and turns away. Flayn, however, seems intent to watch the whole thing— _COME BACK TO US MY KINNNGGGGG_. Death crosses her arms over her chest, having witnessed this stupidity once before. He moves Byleth’s hand away from her chest, surveys the damage. Claude raises his arm above his head and then forcefully plunges it right into her chest. Green and bright. Byleth comes to almost immediately and starts thrashing at what he’s doing. He places a hand on her chest, pressing her down to stop her from moving until the syringe is completely empty.

Byleth’s breathing quickens as Flayn roars in delight. She turns over, coughs up blood on Edelgard’s sheets and then opens her eyes to see four pairs of eyes staring back at her. Flayn… looking quite ready for that transfer by the head of the bed, Edelgard sitting in her desk chair and covering her eyes, Claude standing over her with a black syringe, and then Death, standing in the corner and tapping one of her watches. She looks at Claude, blinks and then looks down at her bloody hand and the blood caked to the front of her clothes. Right. _Rhea._

Byleth struggles faintly against Claude pushing her back down to Edelgard’s bed. “Let me go. I gotta ... I gotta fucking … go _kill_ Rhea.”

“Would you fucking relax you idiot? Do you know how much damage that hit did to your fucking heart? Broke your mother’s seal around it, stupid.” Claude would smack her if she weren’t in the condition she was in, “You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying _here_ and getting some rest.”

Edelgard moves her hands from her eyes and they soften. _She’s okay, she’s_ back. She leans forward on the bed and places her head against Byleth’s chest even when she winces and goes— _easy, El._ She still can’t believe it. There’s a _heartbeat_. Faint and slow, but its there. “Byleth don’t die. Please _don’t_ die.”

“... I’m not gonna die, El. This stupid human heart just needs time to repair itself. Besides, this isn’t Beauty and the Beast. You crying over my dying body isn’t suddenly going to make me better.”

“Why do you _have_ a heart?” Edelgard says, her eyes well up with angry, unshed tears, “ _Why_ did you lie to me?”

Claude clears his throat and motions for Flayn and Death to follow him out of the room, “I think we should leave these two alone for a while. Let them … _catch_ up.”

Flayn stands up and bows to Byleth and then Edelgard. She seems to be … her normal self again if only for a little while, “ _Wow!_ This is so amazing. Like I’m living in the past and getting to see history replay itself all _over_ again!” She skips her way out of the room, but pauses and turns around, “ _We will scalp that bitch, Lady Edelgard_.” And then she’s gone.

Death begrudgingly sighs and leaves as well, “Better figure your shit out, Byleth. Claude bought you some time, but not _much_.”

Claude smiles, “I’ll… I’ll be back in a few. Holler if you need me.” And with that, the door closes on all three of them and Edelgard and Byleth are alone.

If Byleth weren’t so messed up, she would have throw up jazz hands at Edelgard, “ _Surprise_. Remember when I told you demons don’t have hearts? Some of us are a fucking exception.”

“I want the truth.” Edelgard stiffens up, staring down at Byleth, “ _Now_. Or your dead body is going on my couch tonight.”

Byleth winces and sigh, “Years ago… like a _long_ fucking time ago, you and I were lovers.”

“Please. Continue.”

“You were known as the Flame Emperor, you were a vampire princess. You summoned me, enraged at the heavens for what they had done to your people … and you… “ She pauses and stares wistfully at Edelgard, taking in the sight of her, “…You know you still look as beautiful in red back then as you do now?”

She blushed, “Byleth, _please_.”

“Yeah, so. You wanted to tear down the heavens, waged holy war with God’s army. I’ve never been so attracted to someone in my _life_ , oh the _way_ you would wield that _axe_.” Byleth closes her eyes, dreamily remembering Edelgard slaughtering her enemies with Amyr, “…Was that a frying pan Amyr you summoned?”

“What in the world is an _Amyr_?” Edelgard looks at the frying pan currently on her desk.

“Your old axe. One of the finest blacksmiths in Hell crafted that bad boy for you. It’s almost like you went to sleep with it, like a security blanket of some sort.” Byleth shrugs, “Anyway. That’s … the bit about us.”

Edelgard gestures toward Byleth’s chest, “Can you please answer my question about _why_ you have a heart that beats and allows you to bleed _red_?”

“Right… so. My mother, Sitri, was a fallen angel. She was created to become the successor to Sothis at one point… and well, that didn’t happen, obviously. She conceived of me with Jeralt, a human. My father’s soul is still in Hell, locked away. They took pity on him for my sake, kept his mind in a permanent cycle of psychosis where he just ... remembers my mother everyday. Don’t procreate with demons, kids.”

Edelgard raises an eyebrow as she looks up at Byleth’s hair, “…Is that why your hair is turning green right now? I haven’t seen many angels... but I’ve noticed the green hair thing seems to be common with them.”

“Yeah... that’s just mom working her stuff to keep my stupid ass alive.” Byleth groans, “I hope this shit doesn’t last. Last time when I went to sleep it took me _weeks_ to get back to my normal shade of blue.”

“So, back to your _heart_.” Edelgard presses.

“Rght… so. During the war, Rhea was the one that killed you. And I went after Sothis after that but she basically incapacitated me and took something away from me so that I would never be able to do what I did again…”

“What happened?”

“Shh, shh. Let me finish telling you the whole story. They … brought me back to Hell. Baal and Paimon had enacted some suicide rescue mission on behalf of Luc to get me out of Heaven where Sothis had left me to die.” Byleth winces as she takes another breath, “My mother gave up her own being and so that I would live. They put me to sleep for a few hundred years to recuperate. Takes awhile to recover after an injury like that. Anyway, when I woke up. You weren’t there.”

Edelgard nods, “Continue.”

“…I think you know by now that your soul went to Purgatory after Rhea stabbed you. They said they had to reform you, kept you there for _years_ , El. I still waited after I woke up. Every time we got souls. That yours would be reincarnated, maybe _finally_ sent to Hell when you died, would walk through that gate and I could claim you as my own again. But, you didn’t. I always asked Lucifer where you _were._ I wasn’t allowed to have contact with you. But now you’re here. A human. And we can’t do much together now can we?

Edelgard shakes her head, “You still didn’t explain what Sothis took from you.”

“She took my heart.” Byleth answers.

 _“_ I thought _demons_ don’t _have_ hearts.” Edelgard points to her wound, “That thing that’s inside of you _beating_ right now _is_ one, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, well. I’m _half_ remember? And it’s not really a heart… more like … my demon essence. But, calling it a heart makes much more sense.” Byleth waves her hand around, not really caring about the terminology she’s using.

“Why did Sothis take your demon ...heart?”

“Sothis took that portion of my heart because … it was the one thing that would keep me in check. It would leave me vulnerable if she took it. Leave me _human._ ” Byleth gives a labored breath, “Retribution, I guess? I’d rather she just take the human side and make me a demon, better than hiding this shit from the others all the time.”

“…So _that’s_ why you got all uptight when I asked you about how you could love me and you were a demon.” Edelgard ponders to herself and then leans forward, “If it was there, why couldn’t I hear it until now? We’ve been …” Byleth frowns at her, _why_ is she blushing now? Edelgard looks at her, frowning right back, “…I’ve been close enough to you multiple times for me to be able to hear it. Why _now_?”

“I don’t have a heartbeat… normally. Or it’s slow. Like _really really_ slow. But when Sothis took what she did away from me, I guess that changed things.” Byleth’s eyes go skyward in thought, “When my mother sacrificed herself, she kind of like … put a stop to this thing? Crystallized it. That’s why you couldn’t hear it until now. When Rhea stabbed me, I guess part of that was shattered in the process…”

“I see.” Edelgard nods, “…So, how are you still such a high ranking official in Hell after you did all of this crazy shit?”

“More pity? A way to keep me in line? When I woke up, Lucifer re-granted me the rank of a King. To come so far on my own merit, a half-ling. But this stupid human heart still remains inside of me. Even when Sothis stripped me of my power, I was too dangerous... “ Byleth coughs, “... _Sothis_. …She keeps the half of my heart she took locked away somewhere in Heaven, close to her at all times. Hell, maybe she feels like she still has my mother close to her with it being there.”

“So… Sothis is…” Edelgard blinks, “Your _grandmother_?”

The pure disgust that comes to Byleth face would have made Edelgard chuckle if the situation were different, “ _Ew_ , El. Never suggest that again.”

“What now? What can we _do_?”

“We …need to get my heart back from Sothis. That or I’m gonna be going to sleep for awhile ... a very _long_ time. And then you’ll die and I’ll lose track of you again. And what was the whole fucking point of finding you again just to lose you like this?” Byleth coughs again, _fuck_. “You’re going to have to challenge God again, El.”

Edelgard blinks. “ _What_.”

“If you want your hot and sexy demon girlfriend to live, you’re going to have to get that half of my heart back from her.” Byleth says, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world, “What? You’ve already challenged her before. Who says you can’t do it _again_?”

“I was a _vampire_ back then apparently, Byleth.” Edelgard wants to hit her for the stupidity of her suggestion, “I’m sure I was a _lot_ more powerful back then. I’m a second year _graduate_ student, Byleth! I’m better at giving myself paper cuts than challenging the **_GOD_** of ** _HEAVEN_**!”

“Look. It’s that or _I die_.” Byleth reminds her, “Or sleep for a few hundred. Whichever comes first. I don’t know if Mom’s blood is still that potent after all these years…” She cuts an eye at Edelgard, “Is that what you want? To _lose_ me? I mean we haven’t even _gotten_ to the other half of our sex life. I think you’d want to experience that bit—“

“Stop talking about _sex_ while you’re dying, stupid!” Edelgard slaps her arm and Byleth winces, “This isn’t funny!”

Byleth chuckles, “Never said it was.”

“Can I ask you something?” Edelgard is glaring at her now, not much force behind those eyes though.

“Yes, my love?”

“How often did I get mad at you in the past?”

“Every _damn_ day of my life.” Byleth replies, in that same dreamy manner as earlier, “Oh, the _fang_ marks you would leave on my neck. It was like—“

“BYLETH.” Edelgard snaps, trying to get her to focus again.

Byleth sighs, “You know, now that I think about it… our contract has practically been void since we started it, El. When I realized who you really were after I went to Purgatory ...I stayed here because I still loved you and thought that ... maybe if I try and drop hints here and there, you would, I don’t know, remember?”

“Why didn’t you just _tell_ me, stupid? We probably wouldn’t be in this mess right now if you had just _told_ me from the fucking **_START_.**”

“I would have sooner or later. Maybe after you were dead.” Byleth smiles weakly, “You once said to me _forever_ , so I made it so. You can be mad at me, hate me for being so selfish and doing such a thing to you. But I just wanted to see you again... if not one last time.”

“I don’t hate you. You, you....”

“Stupid demon?”

“ _Yes_.”

Byleth sighs. She glances at the clock. Who knows how much time they had. “You need to get going.”

“I know.” Edelgard says, “…Just … rest until I’m back. Okay?”

“Just don’t take a month like I did.” Byleth, always joking no matter the occasion, “I might fall asleep before then.”

Edelgard sighs, “…How am I going to even _get_ to Sothis?”

Byleth chuckles. Didn’t she remember who Byleth _was_? How many angels, demons, and other beings of mythos were in her _house_ right now? “Just a second ... _CLAUDE_!”

There’s shuffling on the other side of the door and Claude doesn’t come in right away, “…Are you two… decent? Heh, don’t want a repeat of the last time.”

“Claude, get your stupid ass in _here._ I can barely get out of this bed right now.” Byleth snaps, rolling her eyes.

Claude finally opens the door and let’s himself in. He addresses Byleth first, “Soooo… you guys talk? Hashed it out? Edelgard knows all the crazy shit about her now and you _apologize_ for lying to her?” He turns to Edelgard, “The shit this woman _does_ for you, I swear.”

Edelgard hides her face in her hands, “I know. _I know_.”

Byleth points a finger at him, “Take El to Luc, for me will you? He’ll know what to do.” Her eyes move to Edelgard, “She’s going to take on Sothis.”

Claude blinks, “Ahh… _what_?”

Edelgard turns around, leaving Claude gaping and just shaking his head. These idiots… _again_. “She thinks I’ll be able to get her heart back somehow. Just. _Please_. Claude? We don't have many options.” Edelgard leans down to the bed to kiss Byleth as softly as she can. Grasps her face with one last look, “…Stay alive. Okay? For me. You went through so much trouble… and for us not to be able to…”

Byleth merely reaches around, gives her the weakest pat on the ass she can muster given her condition, and nods at Claude, “ _Go_ , El. I’ll be right here when you come back.”

“…I don’t want you staying here alone, though.” Edelgard turns toward the door, calling her _own_ servant now, “ _HUBERT_.”

A shuffle of tired feet, a sigh and Hubert appears in the doorway of Edelgard’s room. “ _Yes_ , Edelgard?”

Edelgard comes up to him, “Would you please look after Byleth for me while I’m gone? I have to go talk to God now about things and…” She looks past Hubert to see Death, sitting in the living room and tapping at one of her watches, “… I don’t trust the other _occupants_ in this house to do so. Please. Could I ask you to do that… for _me_?”

Hubert looks at those pitiful lavender eyes boring into his soul and shrugs as he walks over to the bed and sits down in Edelgard’s desk chair, “…Why, of course. And lose my greatest chess competitor? I dare say, not.”

Byleth grins at Hubert, “Funny that you two ended up living together. The Hegemon, one of her most loyal servants, and the demon she loved here, too. It’s like the gang’s back together again!”

Flayn comes running back into the room after Hubert and salutes Byleth, “ _My liege. I shall stand watch as well. To protect you from the fuckery of Rhea and her crooked, large nose. May her corpse rot in …_ Araboth. Oh my, what is going _on_ with me today?” Flayn giggles as she walks over to the bed and gets down on her knees again. She looks up at Edelgard, “Don’t worry, Lady Edelgard! We’ll make sure King Byleth gets all the proper rest she needs _so she can rise again and destroy those wretched angels of the Heavens._ ”

Byleth looks at Flayn and resists the urge to laugh, “…Wow, Flayn. You seem … _different_ than the last time I saw you. Everything okay in there?”

Flayn nods her head eagerly, “Oh. I just think it’s angel puberty. I’m fine!”

“I’m sure you are…” Byleth mutters. With a sigh she nods her head, “Anyway, go you two. I’m tired of Death sitting over there tapping her hand on her watch.”

Claude grabs hold of Edelgard’s hand and turns to her, ready to depart for Hell, “Ya ready, little lady?”

Edelgard takes one last look at Byleth and then to Claude, “As ready as I’ll ever be…”

—

Edelgard stands in the center of Lucifer’s Chambers and is disgusted by the demons _leering_ at her from above.

A loud one, oh, that must be _Paimon_. God, his voice _hurts_ her ears. And … that one over there, that naked one on a bear. Balam, yes? Two very serious looking ones, one who won’t stop crying… is that demon smoking a _joint_? She doesn’t really recognize the other ones, but they seem to know a great deal of whom she is… or who she _used_ to be. She fiddles with Byleth’s ring on her finger and draws closer to Claude.

Lucifer is at the helm of the room using his hands to massage his temples as he stares at the tiny human before him. Byleth. Always _fucking_ , Byleth. Why was one of his best men one of the biggest _pains in his fucking side?_

He looks down at Edelgard as she seems to shrink behind Claude who’s trying to push her forward, “ _Come_. Edelgard.”

Claude nods his head and she comes out from behind him. How was she supposed to even address this looming figure before her, “Uhm…”

“Just… call me Luc.” He says, not evening wanting to get into formalities, “ _My_ , you look smaller in person.”

“She’s a human, brah.” Purson chirps from the side, blowing a long trail of smoke into the air, “Cute though. Byleth always _did_ have good taste.”

“SHE LOOKS DELICIOUS. I DON’T **UNDERSTAND WHY BYLETH DIDN’T EAT HER BEFORE.** ** _”_** Paimon seems to be eating her with his eyes. Oh, Byleth _had …_ eaten her. Just not in the way Paimon was thinking.

“ _Rude_.” Edelgard mutters under her breath, then looks back at Lucifer, “Uhm. Mister Lucifer, sir. I’m sorry that we had to meet under these conditions …”

“As am I.” Lucifer mutters, “Tell me, Claude, what is Byleth’s condition?”

“Chilling up there in Edelgard’s bed, don’t think she went to sleep just quite yet.” Claude replied, “I injected some of Sitri’s back up into her heart to keep her stable. But who knows how long that’s going to hold.” He casts a glance at Edelgard who’s standing before him, “That’s why her little lady is here.”

“Right, right. Know that you will be punished for your insubordination at a later date.” Lucifer tells him and Claude just shrugs like he was expecting that, “But, we have more important things at hand presently…”

“I … I want to challenge Sothis.” Edelgard says, feeling a blush nearly take over her entire body. She’s fiddling with her hands, “…For … For Byleth’s _heart_.”

A collective _awww_ goes through the chambers and Lucifer slams his hands down, “Silence, you _idiots_.” He leans in closer, “Edelgard, _sweetheart,_ do you have _any_ idea what you’re doing?”

“No.” Edelgard answers honestly, “I’m an art history graduate student, who works two minimum wage jobs to get by. Oh, and I also summoned a demon I thought was a _cat_ by accident. But, hey. Turns out she’s my old _lover_. Does it _look_ like I know what I’m doing by seeking to challenge a _God_? Honestly, I’m surprised Byleth even put this much faith in me that I could _do_ this.”

Lucifer chuckles, “She’s always been… a bit obsessive of you. I guess it goes both ways. Do you even remember what you two _used_ to be like? She used to sneak you down here sometimes. Riding all over Hell like absolute lunatics. That barely there _bikini_ you would wear to my pool parties. The _vigor_ in which you two would partake in those wild and hot orgies at the _Gazebo_ on the Styx—“

Edelgard can feel her face heating up again. Just how much had Byleth _shared_ with these … coworkers of her about their past exploits? How much did they _know_ of her past life? “Uhm. Can we keep on topic here?”

“Right, right. We can reminisce later when Byleth dies and Rhea strikes you down again.” Lucifer strokes his chin, “What did you have in mind?”

“I was hoping _you_ could tell me.” Edelgard answers, “You’re kind of experts on this whole Heaven and Hell thing, aren’t you?”

Lucifer crosses his arms in thought, “Well, Sothis _loves_ games. You’ll have to challenge her at something you think she isn’t good at. Do _not_ choose strip poker.”

“War.” Baal suggests. When the group of kings stare at him, he answers again. “The card game.”

“Shogi?” Asmodai suggests.

“Go … go fish?” Vine tries, pathetic as always.

“An endless drinking game … to the _death_!” Zagan yells, losing momentary interest in his bottle.

“Sothis can’t die, she’s _God_.” Baal reminds the drunkard.

“Well, _Byleth_ is dying.” Vine sobs, “Oh, _Byleth_.”

“He really needs to stop doing that, dude. This is the second time in like three hundred years.” Purson blows his smoke in Vine’s face to shut her up and she coughs.

“Yes, well, that’s what happens when you’re a _half-ling_. I was _never_ a fan.” Belial snarls. Byleth would probably punch him in the throat if she were awake right now. Edelgard wishes she had the strength to do so herself.

“Well, _I_ was always a fan. _What_ a glorious, no fucks given expression of sexuality and gender.” Balam looks dreamily off into the distance. Of course the naked man with a questionable relationship with a bear would be in Byleth’s corner.

“All of these are _terrible_ ideas.” Claude mutters under his breath. “My Liege, if I may?”

“What _is_ it, Claude? No amount of a good answer is going to get you out of your inevitable torture, so don’t even try it. I _know_ your type.” Lucifer taps his cheek in irritation.

“Yeah, sure. Looking forward to it.” Claude waves him away, “What about _chess_? The game of all games to end disputes. Besides, the _queen_ is standing right before us. We have the most powerful piece we’ll ever need to win the game.”

Lucifer just stares at Claude, “Claude, what in the _fuck_ are you trying to say?”

Claude sighs loudly and gestures toward Edelgard, “Byleth, is a _king_. Edelgard used to be a _queen_. _Fuck_ , Luc!” He cries in exasperation as Lucifer goes— _oh._ Claude continues, “What do you say Edelgard? Your king is gonna die if you don’t take her out of that _check_. Think you can do it?” His expression falters slightly when he sees how red she’s turning. Why was she so angry?

“Think I can _do_ it? What I’m _thinking_ right now is that I’m _tired_ of how _long_ it’s taking for this stupid council of demons to make a fucking **assessment!** ” Edelgard yelled, causing even Paimon to retract in surprise, “ _Kings_? You’re all **idiots**! My fucking _demon_ girlfriend is dying and all you idiots can do is talk about our sex life and what she wears and everything else that has _nothing_ to fucking do with the situation at hand!”

“Oh my, she’s a _fiery_ one, ain’t she?” Zagan whispers to Baal who slaps his forehead.

“ ** _Satan_**!” Edelgard yells and the name startles even Lucifer when this wee little human addresses him as such. She was tired of this. “Set up an emergency meeting with Sothis. _Now_.”

Lucifer blinks, “…Uhm … okay.” Somehow he’s found himself becoming Edelgard’s assistant, instead of the other way around. He picks up his cell phone and starts typing something.

“Tell her _Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg_ has come to play … _chess._ And I call _black_ before she can even decide.” Edelgard turns to Claude and snaps her fingers, “ _Claude.”_

Claude grins, “Yes, what can I do for you, m’lady?”

Edelgard smiles sweetly, “Can you summon my phone down here. And my headphones?” They pop into her hand and she fixes them onto her ears. Metal. She needed _metal_. “Thank you.”

“What … are you _doing_?” Lucifer asks, looking down at the tiny girl at his side who seems to start nodding her head to a beat.

“Getting into the zone. Metal music always makes me angry. Now you’re messing up my concentration. _Stop_ it.” Edelgard grumbles as she puts her headphones back in, “What say God to my challenge?”

“Uhm… she can meet you in Purgatory at 3AM, it seems.” Lucifer answers, “Which is … in five hours.”

Edelgard glares at Lucifer, “Can you do no _better_ demon? My lover’s _life_ is on the line. I don’t have time to wait five _fucking_ hours.”

Lucifer seems to bristle a minute at the sharpness of her eyes. Why was he so afraid of a human right now? Sure, he knew of Edelgard in her past life. Maybe she was a bit … terrifying back then. But, this girl in front of him now … well, actually. He guessed things were no different. Made him wonder how whipped Byleth had to be by now.

“Okay. _Okay._ She said she can push it up to a half hour from now. But you’ll have to be _quick_.” Lucifer answers.

“That’s better.” Edelgard straightens her posture, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go _kill_ a God.”

Edelgard leaves with a dramatic flourish of her … she doesn’t have a cape. Just in a dramatic flourish then of pulling the hood of her hoodie up over her head, as she pushes her way out of Lucifer’s chambers, the beats of her _ANGRY RAGE MUSIC_ playlist blaring in her ears, leaving the eight remaining Kings of Hell and Lucifer in her wake.

Claude turns to the group and rubs under his nose, “She’s a crazy one, ain’t she?”

“Look at _Byleth_.” Lucifer replies.

“Guess they’re still made for one another after all this time.” Claude chuckles.

His conversation is cut short because the doors open right back open and a small vision in red comes speed walking right back in. Edelgard walks back into the Chambers of Lucifer and looks irritated, “I just realized I don’t know where I’m going. Can I get an _escort_ please?”

The rate at which the eight of the nine Kings descend on her in a circle and start yammering on about _I’ll take you, Edelgard_ and _No, pick me and_ **I AM THE MOST** ** _WORTHY_** **TO ESCORT SUCH A FINE SPECIMEN OF** ** _WRATH_** **AND** ** _ANGER_** **TO THE BATTLEFIELD** has Edelgard’s head spinning. Lucifer growls and descends from his place at the front of the room to push away the idiots bumbling around Edelgard.

“Get out of the _way. Move_ you dolts. _”_ Lucifer snaps as he pushes his way through the crowd. Upon reaching Edelgard, who has slowly backed her way into a wall, he offers her one large, bulky, and beefy arm to her and says, “I would be more than happy to do the honor, _Lady_ Edelgard.”

Edelgard looks at him and then slips her small arm into his embrace, “You know, you’re more of a gentleman than you appear.”

“I ...get that a lot.” Lucifer mutters in disdain.

As they disappear into a raging fire, there’s a collective moan of disappointment that goes out amongst the remaining demons. Paimon, however, turns to the other kings and nods his head in approval.

“I _LIKE_ **HERRRRRRRR**. **DIBS ON HER SOUL IF SHE DIES**.”

—

The ground at her feet is smoky, the room barely lit except for tendrils of light filing in from the canopy of vines that hang overhead. As Edelgard steps out of the portal and looks around her, she feels like she’s stepping onto the grounds of some final battle in a video game. In the distance she can hear some type of hymn and she wants to bash her head in with how ridiculous this is. _Domine deus … filius patris …_ She looks behind her at Lucifer and he gestures for her to step forward.

In front of her lie two chairs and a stone table. White on one side, black on hers. Edelgard almost feels herself being sucked into the sheer vortex of power that appears on the other side. Out from the light descends … a child… or woman. A woman child. She’s confused.

Long green hair, perturbed look in her eyes, and a … long indigo dress. She’s barefoot. Of course. Why would angels need shoes? It’s beautiful in Heaven. Or at least, she supposes. Edelgard finds her voice is stuck in her throat. _Move, El._ It sounds like Byleth’s voice, but she isn’t so sure anymore.

Sothis grimaces. “Have you come to kill me, child reborn of the demons? Come to claim your vengeance at long last?” She stops floating and descends softly into her seat, “I hope you know you’re interrupting my nap time for this nonsense.”

Edelgard eyes a rather ornate stone white box tucked under Sothis arm, “No, I came to … I came to play this game.” Edelgard stiffens, “Please _don’t_ kill Byleth.”

“And why _shouldn’t_ I? She broke the rules _again_. As if the two of you haven’t caused enough damage already.” Sothis remarks as she follows the direction of Edelgard’s eyes, “This is what you’re here for right? Her _heart_? The one thing that’ll save her this time?” She leans over and addresses Lucifer, “Luc, you got lucky that time, didn’t you? Sitri, _my_ creation, saving her own offbeat offspring. But it’s not working this time is it? Wonder why.”

Lucifer sighed, “We’ve always known that wasn’t a long term solution. That if Byleth was going to go on living, you would have to return his ... her heart someday… and we also know what will happen if you don’t.”

“Pity it’s taken so long for death to come.” Sothis mused.

Created? Byleth’s mother, Sitri? “So, you’re really … Byleth’s grandmother, right?” Edelgard asks, her head starting to hurt again. The politics of heaven and hell were messier than her own damn world. 

“I will in no way ever claim to be the reason for that _bête noire_. Nor will I ever claim Sitri’s fall from Heaven. Those things are past and have no place in my kingdom.” Sothis remarks, “Now if you _would._ I’d like to get on with this chess game and have Fate condemn you back to Purgatory already so that I may get back to my _nap_.”

This was it. She was sitting with God. The ruler of Heaven. In Purgatory. A chess game waiting to start lying in front of them. Edelgard takes a deep breath, puts her headphones back in and turns up the music. She couldn’t do this in the silence—and those god awful hymns. “Ready.”

“Since you’re pitiful and human, I’ll let _you_ go first. I know _white_ goes first, _but_ , I’m feeling generous.”

Edelgard looks at the chess board, up at Sothis’ grinning face, and then closes her eyes tightly. She can feel Jeralt’s warding ring pressing red hot into her skin. _Be with me, Byleth_. She takes her first move. _Pawn to E5._

“Ah, get rid of the grunts first, hm?” Sothis moves, “Pawn to E4.”

 _Okay_. Breathe. Byleth had been murdering her in this game for _months_ now. She had already played against something of a God, and won a couple of times too. What had she told her? _You must never let your opponents see your pieces and figure your strategy._ Okay. Right. She turns the music down so that she can continue her conversation with Sothis.

They both move all four of their knights into position, surrounding the pawns. Edelgard reaches for her next piece and pauses, eyes drifting to the biggest piece of this entire game. The box that’s beside Sothis. “…Sothis?” _God_? What was she supposed to call her? “…Why did you take Byleth’s heart?” She wanted to hear this story from another perspective.

Sothis stifles a yawn and barely pays Edelgard any attention, “Because I wanted to.”

“Yes, I suppose you have that right as God…” Edelgard nods. Pawn … no, Bishop to … C5, “I just … want to know. Your Grace. Most … Holy of … all Holiness.” How was she even supposed to address this … _child_ in front of her?

“Oh, _stop_ with the flattery. I get enough of that from my deficient workers.” She looks up at Edelgard, “You two were a _mess._ Do you know how much _damage_ you wrought? The lesbian vampire queen and her cross dressing demon lover—as they called you two back in the day.”

“…Cross …dressing?” Edelgard questions. Byleth had some eccentric clothing choices, but never … would she call the demon a cross dresser.

As if reading her mind, Sothis scoffs, “I suppose you don’t remember what things were like. I won’t even get into it.” She moves one of her rooks, “I was tired. _Really_ tired. Byleth was still trying to come for the throne of the heavens even after Rhea killed you and we sealed your soul in Purgatory. I guess love will do that to people… especially when you have _demon_ and human blood running in your veins. Ugh… _Sitri_ …”

Edelgard moves her pawn. _Check_. That was fast. She looks up at Sothis, “Sitri. Byleth mentioned her before.”

“Yes. My defunct creation that fell in love with a human and produced Byleth.” Sothis moves her King out of check and takes her next move. Knight to A6. She takes one of Edelgard’s pawns. “Why are you being so nosy right now?”

“Because I want to know.” Edelgard replies, “I want to know this whole story. Where it starts and where it ends… or where it continues. I’ve got bits and pieces from everyone. I want to hear it from the mouth of the person who made it so.”

“ _Oh,_ fine.” Sothis strokes her chin, “It started with the vampires. They’re extinct now. I wiped them out when _you_ failed to kill me. Your kind was the scum of the Earth. Terrorizing humans, creating abominations left and right. I sent Rhea to rain holy judgment on your people when your father tried to usurp my throne. And that left you with a very bitter taste in your mouth about _Heaven_.”

“My father, hm. Where is his soul now?” Edelgard asks.

“Haven’t you figured it out by now? He was reincarnated into the present world with you as his daughter. His punishment was his eventual decline in mental health … and you …” Sothis looks at Edelgard with pitiful eyes, “…well, I never imagined for Fate to plan what she had for you. Forgive me for that suffering. No woman should ever…”

“It’s fine.” Edelgard mutters, tired of people bringing up her past trauma already. “Byleth already dealt with that matter. That’s why we’re here _now_. Remember?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Sothis remarks, “I don’t know if you know this, but souls that wind up in Purgatory are given a _second chance_. To do better in the next life. If you’re sent to Heaven or Hell, that’s it. No more time on Earth.” Yes. Byleth had already _told_ her this… but Edelgard won’t be rude and tell her so. Sothis moves another piece, “While your crimes against Heaven were blasphemous, your reasons for doing so … Fate felt was justified. So we came to an agreement that we would keep you in Purgatory—in _therapy—_ until you were rehabilitated enough to put on the chopping block for reincarnation.”

Edelgard snorts, “How did that go?”

“Oh, you were _terrible_. I think they might have sent you to isolation for the first one hundred years that you were there. But you slowly came around… bit by bit. Until you were melded into another blank vessel, ready to be put back into the circle of life.” Sothis rolls her eyes; “Byleth woke up about one hundred years before we put your soul back in the queue.” She glances down at the board, a smirk coming to that childish face, “ _Check.”_

Fuck. She wasn’t losing this battle now. “And she wasn’t allowed to know where I was, right?” Edelgard’s eyes roam over the board, ah, there we are. _Queen_ to G2. “Too dangerous? Too emotional?”

“I didn’t even think she was going to _live_ after I ripped her heart—demon essence—out of her. I didn’t know Sitri would sacrifice herself for the half-ling she had created.” Sothis remarked, “Even _I’m_ not as infallible as they say.”

“And what of me and Byleth?”

Sothis looks down at the board, trying to protect her king from peril, “You summoned Byleth, swore the same blood oath. Back then; the descriptions of her in the grimoires were a lot more terrifying. A figure draped in black armor on a pale white horse, ready to smite all of those who fail to respect him... her. A demon in command of eighty-five legions in Hell.” Sothis moves her knight, “You wanted power, Byleth gave it to you.”

Lucifer has decided to pull up a chair to the table to enter the conversation, frustrated with arguing with Purson over text about the catering for the night. He looks at the game and then over to Edelgard, “Perhaps, I can offer some additional insight.”

Sothis groans, “You’re not even supposed to _be_ here right now. No distractions. This isn’t your second chance at winning strip poker, back off.”

Lucifer growls at her, fire simmering under his breath, “She asked for the full story, did she not?”

“Fine, fine. Continue if you must.”

Lucifer looks at Edelgard, “Byleth had always been eager to prove herself. A half demon who wanted to one day become a _King_. I think you of all people should understand that, Edelgard.”

Edelgard frowns, “In _what_ respect? I don’t remember anything of my previous life with her.”

Lucifer shrugs and leans back in his chair, “You were a vampire princess built on revenge for the death of your father and the treatment of your people. You didn’t care about the repercussions of your actions. You were out for blood.” He folds his arms and raises his eyes to the sky, “In fact, I think I might have kept Aymr in the _War Against Heaven_ museum down in Limbo. Either that or it’s in my office somewhere. I’d be more than happy to return it to you should you ever…”

Sothis gives him a look, “Are you _trying_ to bait me again?”

Lucifer waves his hands, “Just joking, Sothis. Just… joking.” …Not really.

Edelgard moves another one of her rooks, “How did Byleth and I … come to be …”

“Lovers?” Sothis responds, “Well, blame that human part of her. Demon’s don’t have hearts. They don’t _love_. Lust, maybe. But it’s never _love_. Just ask Death.”

Lucifer resists the urge to slap the table, “That is _none_ of your business, Sothis.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, moves another piece. Was that another check? No, she still had some time. “So we became lovers. And were destroying the Heavens little bit little, and no one thought to stop us?”

“Oh, Rhea desperately tried. But she was just a new fledgling back then. Didn’t have the time, wisdom or power to take you down like I commanded her.” Sothis replied, “It wasn’t until you were in Araboth, almost to my throne, that she was able to do it.”

“What happened?”

“Byleth stole my sword, the cheeky little …” Sothis sucked her teeth, “Anyway, I thought that that was the end. You were _really_ going to do us in, but no. Rhea just … kind of stood there in her way and said— _they shall not pass, Mother—_ and well. …Killed you. Turned my own sword against you. Byleth went fucking batshit after that and that was more than enough for me to seal her and strike her down myself. Human emotions are messy. Glad I never have to deal with any of that strife. _Check_.” She lifts her green eyes to Edelgard’s face, “Better make this next move count.”

Edelgard feels her stomach drop as she looks at the board. Her eyes searching for something, _anything_. If she moves there… no … fuck, it was almost _checkmate_.

Sothis yawns and looks at her nails, “You know what happens if you lose, right? Byleth dies or goes to sleep, whichever comes first. You go back to Purgatory—again—I’ll keep you two _searching_ for one another for the rest of Eternity… well, until we decide on when we want to blow up the Earth.” She looks at Lucifer, “Fate CC you in on that email? She mentioned that the Four Horseman were _talking_ again.”

“ _No.”_ He grumbles, “I’m _always_ the last person to know anything.”

Sothis giggles, “Of course. This isn’t a _man’s_ world, honey.”

Edelgard shuts her eyes, trying to remember Byleth’s voice again in her ear. That stupid demon that she loved …and her stupid perversions and quirks and… she was the _Queen,_ trying to save her King. She couldn’t give up now.

She chances a glance at that stone box that’s sitting by Sothis’ arms. No, she’s had enough of these Gods and demons and whatever else was out there and these games. She wasn’t going to lose this stupid game of chess with … with a _child_. No one _fucks_ , with Edelgard von Hresvelg no matter if she’s a vampire princess or a fucking art history graduate student barely scraping by on minimum wage. She inhales, looks up at Sothis who’s grinning down at her like she’s already lost and moves her Queen.

“Check … _mate._ ” Her hand is _shaking_.

Sothis blinks, “…What?”

“Checkmate.” Edelgard replies, her hand still firmly holding onto the queen. Her hand is still shaking as she lets it go and gestures toward the board, “Your king is locked in from all sides. You _lost_.”

Lucifer whips out his glasses and peers down at the board, “…Can I play… referee and verify this?”

Sothis stands up, hands on the board and shaking her head, “No, this cannot be. You were _done_.”

Edelgard wishes her heart would stop beating so hard, “Look. My queen takes your king here. And here. And … _here_. Even if you move, it’s checkmate. Again, and again, and _again.”_ She looks up defiantly, “I _won,_ Sothis. Now give me Byleth’s heart.”

Sothis sighs in defeat, but _God_ is not a sore loser. “All right, _all right._ Oh, me… _dammit.”_ She reaches for the stone box and sets it on the table. She flips it open and there it is, crystallized and black. Beating with some type of …red and purple light. Byleth’s heart, “You wanna check it out before I give it to you? Make sure it’s the _real_ thing?”

Edelgard pulls the box closer to her and looks up at Sothis. She doesn’t … really wanna touch it. That would be weird. She puts her face to it instead and it’s _familiar_ and warm. It seems to quicken slightly at the sight of her and she smiles. Yes. This _has_ to be it. She shuts the box and nods, “…Thank you, Sothis.”

Sothis waves her away, “Yeah, yeah. I’ve honestly been tired of holding on to the damn thing. So creepy and black, ugh.” She moves to get out of her chair, “You better do right by her, Edelgard. I swear, any inkling of an uprising again and I won’t hesitate to burn you two to a crisp again.”

Edelgard shakes her head, “You won’t have to worry about that. I promise.” She stands up and breathes a sigh of excited relief, “Lucifer. Will you take me back to Earth? I want to get this back to Byleth already.”

Lucifer nods, “Sure, my ass was starting to hurt from all this stone anyway.” He rubs at his ass, “Fate has _got_ to invest in better furniture.”

“I’ve been telling her that for years.” Sothis yawns again, “Now, if that will be all. Go and enjoy your demon lover and whatever else unspeakable things you plan to do. I’m going to go return to my nap now… or whatever remains of my break time. Ugh, only thirty minutes.”

“Nap time sounds nice, actually.” Lucifer muses, “I’m so tired… _all_ the time. I need a vacation.”

Sothis nods, “You and me both. It’s hard to find good help these days.”

Lucifer nods in agreement, “For once, Sothis, we are in agreement on something.”

Sothis smirks, “How about that.”

Edelgard clears her throat, “Excuse me. _Please_. I want to go home now that this is finally done. Lucifer, if you would kindly—“

Lucifer is quick to react when an explosion of light and feathers erupts from beneath Edelgard’s feet, and quickly pulls her back at the waist, preventing her from being blown up in the midst of it. The stone box with Byleth’s heart is knocked from her arms and she widens her eyes. _No_. Angels don’t deceive people, angels are supposed to be good and—

A roar of righteous might as the smoke clears. “NO. IT IS **NOT** DONE.” Oh. Rhea. _Of course._

Sothis smacks her forehead and reaches to massage the bridge of her nose, “Rhea. What are you _doing_? I thought I assigned you to cherub diaper duty while I was attending to this.”

“ _Mother—_ YOUR GRACE.” Rhea nearly screams, “I will not _allow_ this to be so!”

Sothis looks at Lucifer and Edelgard, who’s making sounds of desperation to reach the stone box, and then back at her unruly daughter, “Have you lost _any_ good sense I have imbued you with? You’re half of the reason I’m here now. You’re like, a petulant teenager who always wants their way!”

Lucifer watches the family of Heaven have their squabble while Edelgard is twisting and turning in his arms, “This is some _good_ family drama.”

Edelgard pushes at him, “LET ME GO LUCIFER.”

“QUIET YOU IMMORAL LESBIAN, THORN FOREVER IN MY **SIDE.** ” Rhea shouts back at Edelgard. She makes another disgruntled noise as she turns back to Sothis, “I am _protecting_ the world that you have created. I am making things _right_.”

Sothis massages her forehead now. Perhaps she _had_ given Rhea too much righteousness when she had created her. God isn’t supposed to make mistakes though. “Rhea. Please. The human won, I’m letting her return to her demon now. If she does anything to step out of line, I already told her what will happen.”

“I _don’t_ care.” Rhea snaps, “I will cut her head from her neck. Just as I stabbed her cross dressing fool of a demon with this sword of holiness! I will—“

Sothis has had enough of this, turns to Lucifer and goes, “Let her go, Luc.”

Lucifer looks up from Edelgard who’s currently pulling at his hair, “ _Ow_ —what?”

“Let her go.” Sothis waves her hands and Rhea’s armor of holiness disappears in a flash. She snaps her fingers again and Rhea convulses for a minute, “It’s my own fault. I’ll admit it. She’s too much. I’m gonna let them settle this the old fashioned way.”

“What?” Lucifer asks as Edelgard is pushing at his chin now and yelling—LET ME GO. Sothis gestures again and he finally understands, “ _Oh._ Okay.”

Rhea feels … weaker somehow. Like. Like she’s almost … _human_? What did mother, _do_? She doesn’t have much time to react. Sothis waves her hand again and Edelgard startles as something materializes in her hand. Her … _Amyr_ frying pan? Sothis gestures to Edelgard. Well, _go_ then. Edelgard readies a blood-curdling scream of _war,_ Amyr frying pan over her head, startling Rhea out of here reverie. The former vampire princess launches herself over the chess table, tackles the angel to the ground. Both Lucifer _and_ Sothis wince at the sound of the frying pan cracking Rhea across the face.

“I’ll _kill_ you, you fucking homophobic, demonphobic, bitch!” Edelgard screams as she drops her frying pan to the side, slams her hand down on Rhea's face and proceeds to _rip_ out Rhea’s hair with her other hand. Rhea’s face isn't doing too well from that first hit. “I’M SO TIRED OF YOU **FUCKING** _EVERYTHING_ UP.”

Sothis presses a hand to her cheek and shrugs. My, she’s oh so _tired_ of these interruptions.

Lucifer sits down in his chair from before and reclines. “This is better than the Kardashians.” He says to Sothis, grins as Edelgard reaches for her frying pan.

“It’s _deplorable_. I hate such acts of violence being enacted in my wake.” Sothis flinches at the sound of the frying pan hitting Rhea again. She yawns, “But, if this is what it will take to keep Rhea in line, I will let it be.”

“She’s had it coming.” Lucifer winces when Edelgard lands on her back with Rhea on top of her. Looks like she was regaining her wits. Oh, that _bald_ spot, though. Won't grow back in _will_ it?

“Oh, yes, for _years_ now.” Sothis replies, closing her eyes and snuggling into the chair, “Perhaps I will just nap here. Do wake me when they’re finished?”

Lucifer has now produced some popcorn from out of thin air and munching his way through it. _Oooooh_ , did a titty just pop out? Smack her again, Edelgard. Mmm, yeah, Rhea, grab those thighs. Oh, this was _amazing._ “Yeah, sure.” He says, leaning forward and continuing to enjoy the show.

—

They’ve been waiting for a while now.

The girls have shacked up in Hubert’s room for the night— _how kind of him—_ choosing to sleepover so they can wake up and _talk_ to Edelgard about all of this mess when she gets back from wherever she went. Flayn is on the floor of Edelgard’s bedroom, asleep as well. She had been hissing earlier and making raptor movements like she was warding off imaginary angels seeking to come for vengeance.

Hubert is up though, night shift guy and all that. Byleth is on Edelgard’s bed, struggling to stay conscious, and listening to Hubert recount some tale about how Edelgard once threw _pig’s blood_ on some girl who was fucking with her at school. Byleth simply blinks as Hubert and sighs, all the more enamored. God, she was still as untouchable as ever wasn’t she? _You don’t fuck with Edelgard von Hresvelg_. It gave Byleth the demon dokis in her currently failing heart. Oh, yeah. About that.

“It’s taking El awhile to get back…” Byleth gives a labored breath and glances at the clock. It had been … half a day? The sun is almost coming up. Maybe the time on Earth was just messing with her. Maybe it had been shorter at this point. What was _she_ doing? Was she able to deal with Lucifer and the other idiots all right? Was Claude looking after her like she asked him to? What had she challenged Sothis to? …Or maybe she had failed. Struck down again and now Byleth was going to sleep for a _long_ as time again and El would disappear … and no one would …

Death sighs and looks down at one of her watches. “You know the first time you died and they brought you back it was much shorter than this. I was _so_ close, too.”

“ _First_ time?” Hubert asks, somewhat intrigued.

“Yeah. This _idiot_ went and got herself killed by God when her and her little girlfriend decided they wanted to rule the world. Didn't you know?” Death shakes her head, lights up a cigarette out of boredom, “Well, Edelgard died first. But the procedure to take souls to Purgatory is a little different, so it took me awhile before I could come back for _her.”_ She gestures toward Byleth and rolls her eyes, “Ugh, was _that_ a busy night. I took a week off and went to the Bahamas for vacation after that mess.”

Byleth sighs in longing, “A vacation with El sounds nice after all this is over…”

“Yeah. It does… it…” Death seems to perk up, realization dawning on her face. She stands up, preparing to leave. “Well, _imagine_ that. Looks like today’s your lucky day, Byleth. You’re not dying again.”

“Huh?” Byleth asks, picking her head up from the bed, “What do you mean?”

Hubert merely turns around when Edelgard comes tumbling from her ceiling, onto her back, stone box tucked under her arm … and a black _eye_? There’s blood under her nails and … feather’s stuck in her hair. Her clothes are torn and she’s got fucking claw marks all over her arms. She sits up, clutching a fistful of green hair in her hand as victory of her trials. What in the _world_ happened?

“Byleth! _Byleth!_ ” She flails, “I got it! I fucking _got_ it.”

“My heart?” Byleth asks, raising two eyebrows in disbelief at the bloodied and battered girl coming over to her bed, “What … _happened_ to you?”

“I _scalped_ Rhea.” Edelgard mutters as she drops some rivets of long green hair to the bed, “Sothis even allowed it. The bitch decided she wanted to interrupt our chess game in the name of _justice_ and I felt like I was three hundred years overdo in _retribution_ , don’t you think?”

“You _scalped_ … Rhea?” Byleth blinks.

“Beat her to a fucking bloody pulp, the _bitch_. Knocked her teeth out, got a smack in with my frying pan.” Edelgard says, fire in her eyes. Her smile turns sweet as she turns to Byleth, “Here. For you.”

Byleth pushes herself up and goes to open the stone box. “There she is... hello, old gal.” Byleth looks at the black and crystallized mess in the box. She gives Edelgard a toothy look, “Will you do the honors?”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Push it in over my chest. Maybe grope me a little bit while you’re doing it.” She says as she falls back onto the bed.

Hubert mutters, “I’m _leaving_ now.” He picks Flayn up in his arms—she mumbles, smiling, _die, bald bitch—_ and promptly leaves the room.

“Me too.” Death agrees, closing the door behind them.

“Even in the face of death, your mind is on sex.” Edelgard sighs as she carefully reaches her hands into the box to grasp the heart.

Byleth flinches slightly when Edelgard removes the heart, “ _Easy_. That’s a precious body part you got in your hands right there.”

Edelgard does as Byleth instructs and watches the crystallized form fade from her hands and descend into the injured part of Byleth’s chest. She watches the demon flinch slightly and then sigh in relief, “…Did … did it work? How do you feel?”

Byleth inhales and sits up straight, “Fuck. I forgot what this used to feel like.” She looks at Edelgard, expression somewhat calculating.

“So… you’re—“ Edelgard squeaks as Byleth gets off the bed and immediately picks her up in her arms. “ _Byleth_. Please!”

“Back in business, baby.” Byleth mutters, staring down at her in her arms. She kisses her against her temple before she begins to curl her and drop her back down as if she were lifting weights and Edelgard squeals at her to— _stop it!_

“Put me _down_ you lunatic!” Edelgard smacks at her again and Byleth finally obliges.

Byleth grabs Edelgard’s hand, proceeds to spin her around, “My _woman_.” Edelgard stumbles around and Byleth reaches around to grasp her waist to stop her from falling over, “Are you still fond of dancing?”

“ _What_?” Edelgard asks as Byleth raises their arms into the air. Byleth snaps and … was that … _classical_ music coming from her computer? _The Second Waltz, Op. 99a._ What the hell was Byleth about to do?

“A victory dance, perhaps. You always did _love_ those.” Byleth’s eyebrows rise in suggestion, “After we slaughtered our foes. We would _dance_ over their bodies… like this.” She takes a step to the left and Edelgard nearly trips over trying to follow her.

“I haven’t danced since my stupid mother entered me into those dreadful ballroom competitions when I was a _teenager_.” Edelgard is getting dizzy as Byleth twirls her around and snaps her into place again.

“Maybe you should start again.” Byleth replies, dipping her backwards and Edelgard’s leg kind of… pops into the sky, “…Tell me, what happened?”

As Edelgard is hanging upside down, staring at her closet now, “I … challenged Sothis.”

“And it would appear you won.” Byleth remarks.

“Yes. We played _chess_.” Edelgard mutters.

Byleth snaps her back up to meet her with red eyes, bright and wide, “ _Chess_? Edelgard von Hresvelg _won_ at a game of chess with the _Progenitor God_ herself?” Byleth’s head falls back and she closes her eyes, “Oh … if _only_ I could fall more in love with you than I already _am_ …”

Edelgard trips over her feet again as Byleth swings her around the room, “I— _watch my desk—_ thought I was going to lose. Those _idiots_ down in Hell that you call your coworkers weren’t any help either. They were too busy talking about our sex life and how … how …” She frowns, “…Nevermind. They’re all idiots.”

“Yeah,” Byleth pulls her in and out, extending their arms, “I think so, too.”

Edelgard looks back at her, “Anyway. We played in Purgatory. Lucifer was there, too. Anyway, I beat Sothis.” She pauses, “…Sothis wants me to let you know that she’ll destroy us if we ever try to pull the shit we did again… you know. Trying to take down Heaven and become Gods… or whatever.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that…” Byleth swings her around again, steps to the right, “I’ve got my lady back. That’s _all_ I care about. Fuck a revenge fantasy to slaughter Heaven again. All I need is what’s right here, right now, before me.”

Edelgard nods her head in understanding, “Good. Oh … and then _Rhea_ …”

“Yeah… you _scalped_ her?”

Edelgard looks at the green hair resting on her bed, “Maybe scalped is a strong word. I ripped a good chunk of her hair out, though. Smacked that bitch around with my frying pan. She was fucking _comatose_ by time I was done with her.” Byleth dips her again, “Messing around with my _King_ like that.”

“Oh…” Byleth grins devilishly as she snaps Edelgard back up to her, “Your _King,_ huh?”

“Yeah.” Edelgard leans forward to kiss her, “…That’s what you _are_ , aren’t you?”

“ _Oh,_ Edelgard.” Byleth turns around, grips her tightly around the waist as she directs them toward the bed, “I’ll show you what a _King_ I am all right…”

—

Hubert, trying to go to sleep in the living room, is startled back to consciousness when he hears Edelgard’s voice. He blinks and then sighs as he hears— _Byleth!—_ and— _Oh, El._ He blinks again, sighs. Why is there _classical_ music playing right now?

Edelgard again, _Should we really be doing this? You just got your heart back and_ …

Byleth laughing, _Oh, no baby, you’re bringing me alive again for sure._

Edelgard. _Can we try ... can I have you… you know… in your_ other _way?_

Byleth **. Fuck** _yes_.

And then the bed starts hitting the wall and Edelgard is _loud._ He puts his pillow over his face, but that doesn’t drown out the sound in the least— _Oh, fuck yes. Spank me, dammit._ He hears something crack, a pause, and then the thumping resumes— _Oh my god, did we just break the bed?_ Edelgard’s voice sounding worried. Byleth growls in return, another slap of skin and Edelgard moans. _I don’t fucking care, El, the only thing I wanna break is **you** right now. _Edelgard sounds like she’s having trouble in there with the rate that that _bed_ is hitting the god damn wall. _Oh, Byleth…_ Sothis, what the fuck were they _doing_ in there?

The sounds ...eventually finally die down after what seem like hours. Hubert finally gets his sleep. Byleth falls asleep as well, with Edelgard in her arms. After _years_ of waiting. It was over. They were finally together again. And for once, there is a calm. The sun peeks over the horizon again, a new dawn comes, waiting to greet them all.

And maybe, somewhere else, like in Purgatory—Atropos is laughing to herself in _glee._

 _Oh._ Those two _never_ learned. Did they?


	20. Epilogue: See You In Nine Months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With an extreme bittersweet feeling in my heart, here it is. Short and sweet.
> 
> The last chapter. I teared up myself writing the ending. This has been one of my favorite pieces of fiction that I’ve written to date. A few additional notes at the bottom about this little piece of fiction, if you’re interested in how it came to be. And also some stuff about the lunatic that wrote it. 
> 
> As always. Thank you for reading.

Byleth is the first one to wake up.

She blinks tiredly, trying to take in the state of the room around her. Edelgard sprawled out on top of her, just as naked. Her eyes travel upward and look at the split in Edelgard’s headboard where she has fucking _snapped_ it while they were going at it. She peers down at Edelgard, eyes following the curve of her back to her ass and winces slightly. …How _hard_ had she spanked her last night? That was starting to turn purple and yellow, bruised. She let’s her head hit the pillow and sighs, long and low. Maybe the vigor of returning to her former self had … made her a little too _eager_ last night. But, she looks down at Edelgard again… and can only smile.

It was over. _Finally_ over. She had Edelgard back; she wasn’t walking around with half a heart anymore. It was like she was complete again, in more ways than one. Byleth gathers Edelgard in her arms and the sleeping girl stirs slightly. She presses a kiss to her forehead, brushes some hair away from her face. _It was always you_. Byleth glances to the side to look out the window. The sun is just hovering above the horizon.

Edelgard stirs now. Yawning, looking just as fucked up as Byleth. She’s still toting her scars of war with Rhea. The bruising around her eye has faded slightly over the night and the scratches on her arms are still red, but look less angry. She snuggles her way into Byleth’s chest, presses a kiss in-between her breasts where her wound was and then looks at her with lavender eyes at half-mast.

“ _Morning_.” She says, blinks her eyes tiredly.

“As to you, sweet _princess_. How do you feel?” Byleth looks up at the headboard behind them and then down at Edelgard, “…I didn’t hurt you last night, did I?”

Edelgard looks at her, biting her lip coquettishly, and shakes her head. _That_ was the face of a woman who just got thoroughly fucked by her demon girlfriend and _liked_ it. “No. _Not_ at all.” Edelgard is actually giggling now, like a small child, “We should do that _again_.”

Byleth smiles, pats her on the head, “Later, yeah?” She had other things on her mind right now—Byleth, not thinking about sex? _Shocking_. Maybe it was the rush of getting her heart back and seeing Edelgard so riled up from beating the shit out of Rhea that had done it. She links her arms back around Edelgard and pulls her in close, “Let’s just stay like this for a while.”

Edelgard nods sleepily and readjusts herself on Byleth, placing an ear over her chest now. She blinks. Nothing, nothing, _oh_. Once. And then nothing. She smiles up at Byleth, “…I _heard_ it.”

“Yeah.” Byleth replies, “I guess things are probably back to normal in there. Feel normal, at least. Never really realized how weak I’d gotten with just getting by with mom’s stuff…”

Edelgard looks up at her in disbelief, “…You think you were _weak_?”

“I mean, my mom’s power was basically like … receiving the human equivalent of an organ transplant. Never as potent as the original thing.”

“I… see.”

Byleth laughs, “Oh, how I wish you could have seen us back in the old days… but … that’s long past.” She sighs, but she’s smiling regardless, “What I want right now, is just to stay in the present. With _you_. Again.”

Edelgard smiles in return, “…Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, my love?” Byleth asks.

Edelgard holds up her left hand where Byleth’s ring still rests, “Did you _mean_ to put this on my left hand? When you gave it back to me up in the cabin?”

Byleth looks at Edelgard, back at her hand… and then the realization dawns on her. She starts blushing, closes her eyes, _actually_ flustered for once. Byleth. _Flustered_. The world _really_ had started a new, hadn’t it, “Uhm… _I…”_

Edelgard chuckles, “You didn’t know, did you?”

“I mean—fuck, _El_. I’m a demon. We don’t propose. We just kind of … take each other and lay dominance and then … that kind of gets the ball rolling.” Byleth stumbles out, “I … I mean …”

Edelgard finally rises up from her chest, leans in to kiss her so Byleth stops stuttering, “…If you want to…” She begins, “I wouldn’t say _no_.”

Byleth’s eyes widen and she starts grinning, “…Are you serious?”

“What?” Edelgard asks, “You mean you never asked me in the past?”

“I mean we were _basically_ married with the whole blood oath thing, you know? Besides, too busy killing people to have a _wedding_.” Byleth muses, “…Well, when we did our blood oath ceremony in the past, it was … _kind_ of like a wedding.”

Edelgard rolls her eyes, smiling regardless, “Well. Go ahead then.”

“Hm?” Byleth asks.

“Ask me.” Edelgard nudges her. “Do it properly this time.”

“Ah, right.” Byleth reaches around, holds up Edelgard’s hand and pulls the ring from her finger. She clears her throat, “Edelgard von Hresvelg, when you first summoned me by accident via a Ouija board with your less than intelligent friends on a Friday night, thinking I, Byleth, the most fearsome demon that ever did walk this Earth, was a cat, I was _mortified_ …”

Edelgard starts snickering, “Were you really?”

“Nah. Still hate when it happens though,” Byleth continues, “…Oh, how long were our days of you swinging frying pans at me, me leaving my coffee cups all over the apartment, Kardashian night Saturdays, setting fire to everything I came across… and then … things began to change…”

“Yeah, you know, I’m still trying to figure that one out.” Edelgard interrupts, “I think … I think we started feeling differently about each other right before I showed you the painting in the gallery.”

Byleth shakes her head, “…Nah, I _always_ had a hard on for you. Just took you awhile to realize you had one, too.”

“Oh my _God_ , shut up and continue.”

“Of course.” Byleth fiddles with the ring again, “…Heaven and Hell realized that I was slowly creeping closer to the truth of who you are and you were slowly falling deeply, _deeply_ , in love with the sexiest thing that ever crossed your path. And although I am _constantly_ fucking things up, each and every time… you’ve always chosen to forgive me…”

Edelgard looks up at her, “…I wouldn’t call it fucking up. Just… misplaced… uh … _intentions_?”

Byleth chuckles, “…Either way… it was that night before Purgatory… where I finally realized who you _were_ , before I had the actual truth… the confirmation… that I knew that …I didn’t want to lose you again.” She goes a bit silent, as does Edelgard.

“…Byleth?”

Her voice gets quiet, “…We’ve been through a lot, El.”

“I know.” Edelgard nods, “…I know.”

Byleth lowers her gaze, gives Edelgard a kiss on the forehead, “Regardless. After valiantly _SLAUGHTERING_ our enemies once again… killing your sleazy uncle and condemning him to an eternity of…” She pauses as Edelgard looks up at her and gives her a _look_. What? What did you condemn him to, Byleth? Byleth just smiles and continues her proposal speech, “… something you _don’t_ have to know about… and _you_ , courageously taking on Sothis for my _heart_ and beating the _shit_ out of Rhea…” She glances over to Edelgard’s desk where the tufts of hair still lie, “…You know we should _frame_ that shit.”

“I agree.” Edelgard nudges her, “Now if you would _please_?”

“…I knew. In my heart. Broken. Half …there. Crytallized? Stabbed. Whatever is going on in there right now. That this fearsome, courageous, artistic, sharp-witted, sexy, _HELL_ of a woman… is who I wish to spend the rest of my life with.” Byleth poises the ring before Edelgard’s finger, “…Edelgard von Hresvelg.”

Edelgard starts giggling now, “Yes, _Byleth..._ wait. Do you _have_ a last name?”

“Eisner. It was my father’s. Now _stop_ interrupting.” Byleth starts again, “ _Edelgard von Hresvelg…_ would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Edelgard looks at the ring, up at Byleth who’s giving her a look like— _would you just say the freaking words already?—_ and smiles as Byleth slides it forward, “Yes. I _will_.”

—

“You should have _seen that catfight, my_ men.”

Lucifer is currently holding court right now. And all of his most loyal idiots—sans Byleth, he’d let her come down when she felt like, he was sure she and Edelgard were having their own … _celebration_ up there—are gathered around, slack jawed at his recounting of Edelgard’s valiant trials against Sothis and her …chess game. …What a _battle_.

“My word, absolutely _glorious_. Edelgard nearly _broke_ Rhea’s face in with that frying pan. Why, she looked like her old self wielding that kitchenware.” He whips his arm across the podium, trying to imitate Edelgard beating the shit out of Rhea, “She _ripped_ her hair from the _scalp_. Ha, ha! That bald spot will never grow back. I think she might have returned to Earth with it as a souvenir.”

“Bald spot? Brah, that girl is a _beeaassstt_.” Purson starts chuckling.

“Perhaps we should invite her to our next war strategy meeting.” Baal muses to Asmodai who nods in agreement.

“And then she slapped Rhea’s tits _completely_ out of her toga and Rhea was practically humping her from behind with that chokehold. I had to excuse myself, it was—“

“What was that about _El_ , now?” A voice floats from Byleth’s throne as the demon materializes in a puff of red and black smoke. Byleth. Standing, not sitting, on the arms of the throne, “ _Gentleman_.”

“By! You’re back!” Purson exclaims excitedly.

Vine is holding back tears, of happiness for once, “ _Byleth_! Oh sweet, _Byleth!_ You’re alive!”

“Duh. Why wouldn’t I be?” Byleth says, dropping into her own throne, “So, what’d I miss?”

“The greatest catfight in the history of the world, apparently.” Belial mutters, “What a disgrace.”

“Awww, _Belial_ , don’t be sad because you don’t have a woman … or _man_ for that matter who would go to war for you.” Byleth gives him a fangy shit-eating grin. “Maybe, _one day_ , when you stop being such a whiny _bitch_ , you’ll find someone, too.”

As Belial huffs in his seat, Paimon is clapping his hands, “ _MAGNIFICENT_ , BYLETH. **ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENT** , THAT _**WOMANNNNN**_ OF **YOURSSSSSS**. SHE IS WELCOMED _DOWN_ IN THESE **_HORRENDOUS_** HALLS ANY _**DAYYYYY**_. WHAT A FEARSOME _**WARRIOR**_ **OF BLOOD AND** _ **HONOORRRRR**_.”

 _“_ Aw, thanks, Paimon.” Byleth smiles, “Maybe when you learn an ounce of volume control, we can do that.”

Balam nods, “Can you ask her where she gets her _hair_ done? My, so _shiny_. So _long_. So _beautiful.”_ He sighs wistfully, “I’d like to take my bear to the same person if I can.”

Byleth feels her face twitch in disgust, “…Sure. Balam. I’ll… ask her.”

Zagan raises his almost empty bottle of Peach Schnapps into the air and hiccups, “A _toast_. To Erelglard!” He throws the last bit of alcohol back, “May she bear _strong_ and _wild_ children to continue your nefarious cross dressing misdeeds!”

Byleth winces. _Why_ was everyone always talking about her getting Edelgard _pregnant_? “Zagan, would you shut your drunk ass up. We’re not having kids, fuck.”

Lucifer clears his throat, trying to gain the attention of the room again, “If that will be all.” He looks at Byleth; “I see your back in full form then?”

“Yeah.” Byleth looks at her nails, “It’s all right.”

“Coming from the demon who’s had her heart shattered how many times now?” Lucifer asks. Byleth just stares at him like she’ll gouge his eyes out if he keeps this up. He chuckles. “I jest, Byleth. At any rate men. I think … I think this calls for a celebration. A time of relaxation… a _vacation_ from things if you will.”

Byleth speaks up, “Uh, yeah. About that. That’s why I came down here to begin with.”

Lucifer turns to her, “Yes?”

“I’m going on sabbatical for awhile. Gonna take a break from this whole King thing, if you know what I mean. Hang out with, El. You know, enjoy _life._ ” Byleth gets up as a stack of papers poof into her hand, “I already filled out the transfer paperwork.”

Lucifer raises an eyebrow as Byleth sends them his way. He takes out his glasses and starts flipping through them “… _Nine_ months, Byleth?” He looks up at her over the rims of his glasses, “…Are you sure, Zagan _isn’t_ right? Edelgard _isn’t_ … with…”

“NO, _DAMMIT_.” Byleth yells, stomping her foot. “Why does everyone keep _asking_ me that? She’s _not_ pregnant, fuck!”

Purson chuckles, “ _Dudddddde_ … little baby By’s running around the place breathing fire on everything. How cute would that be?”

Vine smiles softly, wiping at her eyes, “I … I would like to babysit if that’s possible.”

Byleth gestures wildly at the stack of papers in Lucifer’s hand, “I honestly just picked an arbitrary amount of months! Why is that so hard to understand?!” She continues, “It’s like almost _March_ now. I figure I take off for the rest of the year and come back in January and we can start things new. _OKAY?!”_

“All right, _all right_.” Lucifer waves her down, “I’ll take your word for it. What are we going to do with you being gone? I mean. The _accounting_ position. All that math… all those _numbers_.”

Byleth shrugs, “I mean. I’ll still be around if you need me. But mostly I just want all of you to _fuck off_. I have my woman back and I want to spend _time_ with her, you understand?” She looks over her shoulder, “Besides, I already found my replacement for while I’m gone.”

“And that is…?” Lucifer asks.

Byleth turns around to look at her throne, “Ready to introduce yourself, Flayn?”

Out from behind the throne comes a young girl with pink curly hair, a black Lolita dress, black thigh highs accented with red bows, tiny black horns on her head, and ridiculous platform shoes. She flutters the tiny devil wings on her back and sticks her middle fingers up to everyone in the room.

“ _Hello!_ I’m Flayn, the new transfer!” She stares down at everyone in the room and then her voice drops, and a sneer comes to her face, “ _I’m here to whip you_ ** _sons_** _of_ ** _bitches_** _into shape.”_

—

Byleth finds Claude at their usual place.

He’s sitting at the bar, scrolling on his phone and not doing much of anything. Byleth slaps him on the shoulder as she comes up beside him and takes a seat at the bar. He grins, “I see your lady came through.”

“As always.” Byleth replies, signaling the bartender for a drink, “As _fucking_ always, that wonderful, kick-ass, destructive queen of mine…”

“You two are more disgusting now than you were back then. I hope you know that.” Claude says.

“Oh, I _know_.” Byleth replies, “Should have seen how _disgusting_ we were last night, _mh_. Who knew getting your heart back would make you _that_ fucking horny.”

“You’re _always_ horny.” Claude reminds her.

“Yeah, but that was some next level shit, last night. Wonder if she’ll let me do it again _tonight_.” Byleth starts giggling devilishly to herself. Maybe they could spice things up? What was Edelgard _into_ in this lifetime? She had a bit of a BDSM kick in the past. Tying Byleth up and—

“Can you _focus_ on our conversation and stop thinking about sex for _one_ second?” Claude asks.

“Sure, sure.” Byleth inhales and sighs languidly, “Well… I _fucking_ did it, Claude. I _finally_ got her back.”

“Took you long enough.” Claude replies.

“Like that’s _my_ fault.” Byleth reminds him. “Do you remember how much cock blocking was going on here for the last hundred years? Fuck, man.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Claude waves down her anger, “I’m happy for you two. Just don’t go and start fucking things up again, okay? I think we’ve had more than enough excitement around here for awhile… looks like everyone’s been putting in time to go on vacation, lately.”

“Yeah.” Byleth takes a sip of her drink, “I just did so today, too.”

“ _Huh_?” Claude looks at her, “What do you mean?”

“Taking some time off. Gonna go spend some time with El. I think we deserve it, don’t you?” She tilts her head at Claude as if to say— _you better fucking agree with me or I’ll—_ Nah. She doesn’t have the strength for all of that tonight. No need for violence when so many celebrations are in order.

Claude nods, “I suppose so. With Rhea trying to kill the two of you every other day for the last couple of months, I’m sure that would wear anyone out.” He orders another drink, “For how long?”

“Nine months.” Byleth answers innocently, picking her phone out of her pocket to check if she had any missed messages from Edelgard. When she looks back at Claude, he’s just… _staring_ at her. “ _What_?”

“Nine _months_ , By?” Claude asks. “Isn’t that…you guys used _protection_ right?”

“I’m getting a little _tired_ of this. Edelgard. **Is NOT**. _**PREGNANT**_.” Byleth slams her drink on the counter, “Why the fuck does everyone keep bringing this up? And, no! She just had her period like a couple of weeks ago or a day ago. _Whatever_! It’s fine, _fuck_.”

Claude whistles long and low, “If you _say_ so, Chief. I’ll believe, ya.”

“ _Anyway_.” Byleth smiles softly, “…We’re gonna get _married_.”

Claude shrugged his shoulders, “I was … kinda expecting that. Long lost love, waging war, retrieving hearts, Gods… and all that.” He leans in, “ _Soooo_ … am I the best man?”

Byleth rolls her eyes, “Of course, you idiot. Whenever we decide to do it. However we decide…” She shrugs, “I’ll leave the particulars to her. Or get involved… whenever. Or whatever. I don’t care. I just have _her_ again… that’s all that matters. You know?”

“A toast. To you and your lovely misses. Byleth and the future …” Claude smiles, “…What are you guys going to call yourselves, anyway?”

Byleth shrugs, “Don’t know. Don’t care. Maybe I’ll take her last name. Maybe she’ll take mine. Maybe we can be obnoxious and hyphenate it.” All that really matters is that she has _El_ again. Fuck a last name. Well, maybe not. For legal reasons and whatever. How was this going to work? Registering their marriage in Hell? Earth? Ugh, who cares. 

“Gotcha. Well. Congratulations either way." Claude nods his head back up toward the ceiling, "Now hurry up and finish your drink. I'm pretty sure a little lady with a flair for art is waiting for you back up there." 

—

Edelgard is lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Byleth to come back. 

She's _bored_. Where is Byleth? She knew she had to take care of some business in Hell following well… this whole mess, but was it really supposed to take this _long_? It's the late afternoon now. She had kicked the girls out of her house after explaining to them all the mess that she had been through in the last couple of months. Demons. Crazy angels. Magic. Hell. Heaven. _Purgatory._ Reincarnation. Ugh, it was enough to make her head spin. 

She closes her eyes, massages the bruising around the black eye Rhea had given her the other day. _Stupid bitch, I have your **hair**_. She thinks to herself triumphantly. _Edelgard_ was the winner in that battle. Ah, how good it felt to just smack the shit out of the angel who had been fucking up her life for _centuries_ at this point. She wasn't aware of it until now, no. But, it felt better all the same. 

There's a noise in the living room and she giggles as she hears Byleth falling out of the hallway closet while cursing— _fucking suitcases—_ and eventually comes stomping her way into the archway of Edelgard's bedroom. Byleth takes a minute to look at her and gives her a soft, tired, smile. _Hey, you_. She walks over to the bed, kicks off her boots and just falls in bed with Edelgard resuming their little love nest from earlier that morning. 

Edelgard shifts so that she can rest her head on Byleth's arms and nearly melts as Byleth begins massaging her head. "...Yeah, that's nice."

"Still sore from your battle with Rhea?" Byleth cracks a grin, "...Or with _me_ from last night?"

"Mmm. Perhaps a little of both." Edelgard replies, closing her eyes.

“I’m taking some time off.” Byleth says, sitting up now so she can pull Edelgard's head into her lap and start massaging her neck. 

“ _Seriously_?” Edelgard asks, opening her eyes to look up at her.

"Yeah, about nine months." Byleth replies. 

Edelgard is silent for a minute and then closes her eyes, "...Why nine months?"

 _No, don't even mention it to her. Don't even tell her what all those idiots in Hell were saying. Don't even MENTION what Atropos' stupid fortune was._ Byleth shrugs, "Just seemed right. You know. It's going to be March soon and then by time I go back, it'll be the New Year and I can start all over. Start _fresh_."

"Mmm... wish I could say the same. Semester's over in three months." Edelgard murmurs, moaning in delight when Byleth _really_ starts working her neck, "Then we're out for the summer, I guess. But I still have to go to work."

Byleth snorts, "You know... you're engaged to a King here, El."

"I will _work_ for what is mine." Edelgard snaps, "I don't need you and your fancy Black Amex card paying for everything."

"My, _my_ , such an independent woman I've found myself with." Byleth chuckles, "Just say the word. You know it's there." With _rent._ Or _groceries_. Or _shopping._ Or _baby carriages_. Byleth has to stop herself at that train of thought. Stupid. Everyone talking about pregnancy and shit. Edelgard _wasn't_ pregnant. 

"I thank you either way." Edelgard responds. 

Byleth descends her hands down to her shoulders now, "You know ... we should take a vacation."

Edelgard opens her eyes again, "Really?"

Byleth nods, "Yeah. I think we deserve it... don't you?" She squeezes down on Edelgard's shoulder muscles and grins when the girl below her moans again, "Everyone else is. Luc is going to Korea next week. He heard Sothis took off for Iceland or some shit after your chess game with her. Seteth is acting as her replacement until she gets back... I don't think you've met him, doesn't matter." She presses in again, "I got Flayn to be my replacement for while I'm gone."

Edelgard starts laughing, " _Flayn?_ You chose _Flayn_ to be your stand-in while you run around up here with me?"

"Hell, you know, I thought about asking _Hubert_ at first... but I couldn't pull that man away from here. Not from you, at least." Byleth chuckles herself, "But Flayn, I think she'll do _just_ fine. That girl can hold her own with me. Why not the whole group?"

Edelgard nods, "I suppose so... a vacation _does_ sound nice."

"When should we leave?"

"Spring break is coming up soon. I suppose we could go then." Edelgard murmurs, "Where would we even go?"

A _beyond_ brilliant comes to Byleth's mind, "Wanna see where we used to fuck things up?"

"You mean... Europe?" Edelgard questions.

"Yeah. Eastern Europe. We could do a couple of countries in a couple of days. I can show you all our old _sex_ spots. Maybe trigger some memories so you can remember what those times were _like_. See all the places we _destroyed_." Byleth closes her eyes and hums happily, "It'll be glorious."

Edelgard laughs, "Sure. Why not. I'll leave the planning to you."

" _Excellent_." Byleth replies, hands descending to her breasts now and groping her suggestively and Edelgard startles, "Now why don't we see if I can _cure_ that soreness of _yours_ in other places, hm?"

—

It's been about four weeks now ... and things are getting a little _weird_ with El. 

They went to Europe. Byleth eagerly pulling her along and pointing out the sights. She’s excited to show her all of the _things_ they destroyed, all of the _people_ they killed, all of the _victories_ they had. And of course, all of the places … they had _sex_. Which Edelgard, embarrassed to admit, was _a lot_. Just what type of woman was she in the past? Byleth kisses her, tells her it’s okay if she doesn’t remember. She just _wants_ to show her. Besides, what they have here, in the _present_ , is more important than any old bloody war from the past.

Byleth says this trip is kind of like … their honeymoon. Edelgard massages her face and reminds her that the honeymoon comes _after_ the wedding. Byleth shrugs, _tomato potato—_ or however that saying goes. Whatever, they could go on another honeymoon if they wanted. Who cares.

It’s when they return to Enbarr… do things start _changing_. For Edelgard.

The first couple of weeks are no problem. Same old same old. Edelgard goes to school, Byleth stays at home and acts the part of the good demon housewife. Sometimes she texts Claude to check in, see how things are going— _What? Flayn made Paimon **cry**_? _That kid’s a fucking champ. She might be stealing my job at the end of this. Tell Luc I said hi!—_ but mostly, lies around just waiting for Edelgard … her _wife,_ to get home.

Hubert doesn’t mind the additional guest—he’s never home to begin with. _Besides_ , who could complain about coming home to a home cooked meal and a clean house at the end of a shitty day? That shit is _fantastic._

Byleth starts getting _suspicious_ somewhere around … the third week that they’ve been home. She’s been replaying memories of the Europe trip in her head. Taking Edelgard from behind on that railing of the _bed_ in the hotel they were staying at. Fucking Edelgard against the _window_ , in the _bathtub_ , against the _wall_ , in the _closet_ , against the _door_ … _hm_ , maybe they should try the _ceiling_ next? Byleth notices something on her mind as they eat dinner that night. _Hm, my period should be here… but all I’ve seen is spotting_ —Edelgard shrugs— _I’m sure it’s fine. Sometimes things get thrown out of whack._

One morning before she gets ready for school, Byleth hears her puking her guts out in the bathroom. She dismisses it as a stomach bug from the sushi they ate last night. At night, Byleth is cooking dinner. The sheer look of disgust on Edelgard's face at the _steak_ that Byleth is sautéing. _How revolting. It smells_ awful. She chalks it up to premenstrual things. Sometimes certain smells get to be too much, the nose is a sensitive thing. She throws up some more after breakfast on a Saturday morning. They didn’t have sushi that time. _What_ is going on? 

Byleth is sleeping on the couch one night after an argument. Something about Byleth leaving too many coffee cups in the sink overnight? Byleth chances a glance at the kitchen. It was _one_. Mood swings? Hm.

Edelgard can’t get into her favorite pair of jeans and just starts… _sobbing_ … hysterically. And _why_ are her breasts always hurting? It’s been two weeks. They’ve _never_ hurt this much before. Byleth has no idea what to do. _They’re just jeans? Buy some new ones? Maybe we should go …vegan? Lose five pounds?_ _Salt retention? Maybe we should try more yoga_? Babe, you’re still _gorgeous_ to me.

Edelgard doesn’t _care,_ Byleth’s _still_ sleeping on the couch again that night.

Edelgard’s also starting to _smell_ a little different. She still _smells_ wonderful, but its like there’s something else there. Faint. A little blip. Maybe, a little _one._ Byleth really can’t pick it out. But it’s _there_.

It’s only when they’re sitting down for a night of trashy reality TV that Edelgard says to her:

“You know, my period's _really_ late…” She crosses her arms over her chest and leans down to cuddle into Byleth’s side, “…Probably nothing. Fluctuates sometimes you know? School's been stressing me out. I'm sure it'll pop up anytime this week now...”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s no big deal.” Byleth lies to herself. What _if …_

Edelgard still bites her lip and looks up at her, a little bit of worry in those lovely lavender eyes, “…Byleth. I’ve been thinking though… should I… take a pregnancy test? _Just_ to make sure?” She blinks again, “…You _can’t_ get me pregnant… _right_?”

Byleth swallows, eyes going wide, as she slowly turns to look at Edelgard, finally putting two and two _together_. The vomiting— _morning sickness_. The aversion to certain smells, the mood swings, the weight gain… _the way her breasts looked even better than before_. Byleth, you _idiot_ — **focus _._**

Edelgard looks up at her— _What? Why are you gawking at me like a fish right now?_

…What … _what_ was that thing Atropos had said about— _pregnancy—_ back in Purgatory?

Byleth is starting to hyperventilate as Edelgard looks at her. _What_ , Byleth? What’s _wrong?_

“Uhm… _El_ … about _that_ …”

 _Fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally started this story during the end of my summer vacation in the midst of boredom… waiting to transfer my American license over to a Japanese one (I’m an American, living in Japan) and unable to leave my house and drive around like I oh so love to do. It was strange, I just felt compelled to start writing again. And I had been wanting to write for Byleth and Edelgard for over a year now and decided that this fic would be it. Oh, I did end up getting my license by the way.
> 
> About my update speed. Considering I had NOTHING to do all day, all I would do is sit at home, drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, and write. And I literally became obsessed with this story the more I began to write it. Literally, it was the only thing on my mind. It’s been awhile since I’ve written a piece of fiction that I love so much. In the past four years, I’ve kinda half written things and left them to gather dust. (I was in grad school and working like a maniac post that and before coming to Japan, go figure) But, here we are again. Honestly, I think this is the fastest fic I’ve ever written. It used to take me WEEKS to put stuff out and I’ve been at this for like… twenty freaking years now. Lmao, FF.NET has my old stuff if you wanna read that. Same penname. Mostly a bunch of Kingdom Hearts stuff though.
> 
> If you’re curious about how the story evolved, originally I was going to write a seven deadly sins type thing and Byleth was supposed to lure Edelgard into each of those and whatever until Rhea in Heaven was like RETRIBUTION and came down to start fighting with Byleth. Anyway, I started looking for writing prompts so I could formulate some type of basis for the story. That’s when I found the writing prompt: instead of having a guardian angel, you have a guardian devil. And considering Byleth’s name is taken from a king of Hell in demonology, I was just like—OH SHIT THAT’S IT! I also REALLY wanted to write a vampire Edelgard/demon Byleth fic, so that got pushed into there too. And here we are. I tend to write pretty close to canon, or a variation of that in my AU fics. So a lot of stuff will try and stay to how it’s presented in the game… but in an AU way. If that makes sense, lol.
> 
> I wrote the ending long before I finished the middle, that’s why I was able to update so fast as well. Because I knew where this story was heading (somewhat, I did change some things as they happened, like giving you guys that extra chapter of fluff when I was gonna go right into the ending, lol). I originally planned this at fourteen chapters and it stretched to twenty, so I guess that’s a good thing, yeah?
> 
> Considering a full multi-chapter sequel… I try and stay away from them. Sequels tend to be indulgent if they weren’t in the creator’s original plans to begin with and then you don’t want to write them, cause it just feels like it’s pandering to your readers. Sorry, that’s my own personal feelings on that bit … considering I did that once and… then it took me three years to finish the damn sequel. …Looking at you, Three Changes.
> 
> However. This was gonna be a surprise, but. I’m writing a sequel… prequel… seprequel …one-shot? Two-shot? Haven’t quite figured it out yet. It’ll probs be set in modern day, but tells the story of Byleth and Edelgard’s story before they fucked up and got killed, Byleth’s past with Sitri and Jeralt and of course… the little bundle of joy on the way. Honestly, Edelgard wasn’t even supposed to get pregnant in my original draft of this, but when I wrote the part in Purgatory with the tarot card readings… I was sold. So you’ll have your gross domesticated Byleth and Edelgard, but also the story of how they came to be. We’ll see. Might be a while before I post it, though. I’m working out what I want to write, so the details I put here might change. Also I want to work at a much slower pace. I have to do some research regarding the time period. Get my shit straight.
> 
> Anyway. That’s about it from me. If you want, you can follow me on social media. Or if you’re too shy to do that (believe me, I’m just as awkward when people tell me they like my writing), a DM is also fine. My names are in my bio. I just ask if you choose to do so that you be over the age of eighteen, considering my age and all. I don’t really post a lot of fandom stuff (well on my twitter at least), just my daily musings or raging about something. Oh, and Pikachu. I love the little guy. Way too much. Borderline obsessive. Pika, pika, motherfuckers.
> 
> So now that I finished, I’m off to look at my archive of other half finished Edeleth things that I’ve been wanting to write. Namely Smoke and Mirrors, which I’ve ignored in favor of writing this. I think I have a bath time fic or something sitting around. Might take a break. Who knows. Probably not. Hahaha, have a good one guys.
> 
> I’m out.
> 
> -risokura


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